The breastfeeding comparison

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

I'm still failing to understand the offensiveness of breastfeeding photos on Facebook.



One of the comparisons being made is "How would I feel if my partner posted a picture of his genitals?" I'm still failing to get it.



Why would my partner be posting a picture of his penis?



A) Because he's trying to get female attention ... Attention from the opposite sex is NOT the reason for breastfeeding photos. NO COMPARISON.



B) Because he's having a who's the biggest contest with his mates .... NO COMPARISON.



C) Because he's part of a international Facebook campaign to raise awareness of testicular cancer.... BINGO!



So how would you feel if men were posting their tackle as profile pictures to raise awareness of the importance of men checking themselves? Would you object or support your significant other?

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Mary - posted on 03/13/2010

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I'm not really sure that there is a definitively right or wrong answer here...especially in this forum of mothers. None of us is truly capable of being objective, especially if we breastfed our children. Our perception of the breast has been altered by using them to nurse our children. However, for a LARGE percentage of society, they are still primarily a sexual body part...mostly to men, of course, but also to a lot of females who have not yet considered motherhood. Then you have the large number of people in this world who are just plain uncomfortable with any exposed aspect of the human body...the same people who can only have sex in the dark, cannot walk around naked in front of their partner, and would be mortified if they farted loudly in front of a group of friends. Truth is, we all have differing comfort levels with nudity, sexuality, and normal bodily functions. You can argue that they are sad, silly, ignorant or repressed, but they are what they are - and your arguments otherwise are most likely NOT going to change their perceptions or comfort levels.



As for the hubby wanting to post his package on FB to support something like testicular cancer awareness? I confess...it's a double standard, but I'd probably be a bit bugged by it. I also would not be okay with him posting a pic of him taking a dump to promote colon cancer awareness...another act of nature, which holds no sexual connotations (well, at least not for me!). I would hope we have the kind of relationship where he would discuss this with me first, and take my feelings into consideration before posting said picture. I certainly didn't post any of the more revealing photos of either my daughter's birth (to me, a beautiful and natural life process) or of her nursing (I think there may be one very modest shot up) because I knew, without question, the thought of any of his friends, cousins, or his father looking at them would make him uncomfortable. I could argue about my rights, or the fact that I find these things beautiful and not even remotely sexual...but what kind of partner would I be if I completely discounted his feelings? Whether I agree or not, putting those pics out there is subjecting him to the scrutiny and feedback of others, both positive AND negative. The same holds true with any more personal photos he may want to post.

Mary - posted on 03/13/2010

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Okay, I'm going to say something that I predict is going to be a bit unpopular.



I don't really get what all the hubbub is about FB banning the breastfeeding pics is. After all, it is a free social-networking site. It kind of is up to their discretion to decide what they deem is acceptable. And...if they are opposed to pic's of nursing momma's, well, that's their perogative. If they are okay with pics of wet t-shirts contests at the same time...does that make them hypocrites?....Absolutely, but again, it's their perogative. Don't like their policies? Fine...don't use the site. It's not, despite many people's belief, a necessity in life to be on FB. You can interact with the world at large without it. It is also, despite what we might like to think, NOT a democracy where they have to care about your "rights" or, for that matter, being fair or equitable to all it's users.



It's not as if they are infringing upon our rights to nurse. They are not even stopping you from photographing the event, or sharing it with family and friends. They just deem it "inappropriate" content for THEIR site. Do I think they are misguided jackasses for it? Yes! But do I think that it is their perogative? Yeah, it is. I guess I just think there are so many REAL injustices in this world...and FB's stance on breastfeeding pics just isn't one I think is worth getting all worked up over. If they were in some way impacting your ability to nurse your child, that would be a different story...but stopping you from sharing photos of it? Not too big a deal in my book.

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Lea - posted on 03/15/2010

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I agree that it should be private if it shows the nip. I think most breastfeeding pics don't, so I don't have a problem with it. Way to show support! :)

Jess - posted on 03/13/2010

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I think facebook's rules even made sense and were fair, than it wouldn't be such an issue. Facebook don't really explain where they stand regarding photo's, pictures (drawing's) and comments.

I have seen them approve a stetched picture on "How to see if your baby is dead"..... It was disguisting, it wasnt' for any informational purpose at all and yet despite my own complaint to facebook and many others to this still day its still remains on facebook. I don't think their is anything wrong with Breastfeeding pics on facebook... its natural, does that mean we can't post photo's of flowers, grass, animals and the beach ? Their all natural too ! How about a new born animal baby feeding from its mother.... is that inappropriate also ?

It appears the rules are set on a case by case basis... You can start a website with horrific baby dieing jokes and thats ok.... but if you post a picture of your baby being fed, well you best suffer the wrath of facebook ! Honestly the whole thing is joke, facebook don't know if their coming or going !

Now I'm off to hide before they come hunt me down to bad mouthing them.....I was never here !!!

Johnny - posted on 03/13/2010

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I actually agree with you Mary. They do have the right to ban it. And we also have the right to argue against companies having stupid policies.

Just as a side note, I've had 2 breastfeeding pictures on my profile for nearly a year now. For a while, one of them was my profile picture. I have not had them deleted nor received any message at all about them. I'm not sure it is because my friends are not stuck-up idiots and haven't "reported" me for offensive content, or because I don't run around Facebook parading the fact that I have pictures of myself breastfeeding.

Rosie - posted on 03/13/2010

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i don't think it's equivilant at all, if it was a picture of a baby coming out of the vagina, or some type of cancer of the female genitals then i think it would be equivilant to a picture of a penis shown for cancer awareness.

my only problem with a picture of a breastfeeding mother is if it shows nipple. by facebooks classifications that would be nudity and that would be not per policy. anything else, not so much.

Johnny - posted on 03/13/2010

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The equivalent for me posting a picture of myself breastfeeding would be my husband posting a picture of his hairy chest. It's my chest, not my crotch. Just because men are dumb enough to think that because breasts are sexual that they are sex organs, doesn't make it true. And if my hubby wants to post a picture of his hairy chest on Facebook, he's welcome to. I don't think anyone else will appreciate it though.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/13/2010

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I don't think it would go over well; boobs are pretty, penises are not. ^_^

[deleted account]

Well, then I say to all of the men aroudn the world: Go for it! If you want equality, then change your profile pics. Let's see the hairy butt crack, beer gut, shriveled up penis, etc. They want quality, so be it! It will be something for us women to laugh at :-) When they grow a pair of tits with mammary glands that can feed a baby, then they have every right to go bare all.

[deleted account]

Oh, and there's no comparison between a man posting a pic of his genitals and pictures of breastfeeding!

Dana - posted on 03/13/2010

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Kylie, yeah...a hairy butt crack is just funny. I would have challenged him to do so.



Men showing their junk on profile pics isn't even close to breastfeeding pics, even if there's a whole lot of breast showing. It's not as if women are showing their Va jay jay's to bring awareness to cervical cancer. That would be a proper comparison.

Also last time I knew, a penis didn't feed anyone.

Kylie - posted on 03/13/2010

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actullly my hubby brought this up in one if our conversations on the topic..he said how would i feel if his profile pic was a shot of his plumbers bum but crack out there for all the women on his list to look at. I was extremely offended he would compare his hairy butt cheeks to my 5 cm of my child nourishing breast tissue lol

Kylie - posted on 03/13/2010

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Well breastfeeding pics aren't showing two whole breasts, nipples and all....but if my hubby felt the need to post a picture of himself in a pair of budgie smugglers to support the cause because it was important to him then I'd raise an eyebrow but wouldn't object. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same when it comes to my breastfeeding pictures :)

Exposing ones genitals is not nearly on the same level as a breastfeeding baby.

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