The touchy feely convo! :)

Amanda - posted on 11/08/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

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Growing up my parents were never really too physically affectionate towards my sister and I. I mean yes they said I love you and did things with us and took us places and bought us things but as for actually sitting down on the couch and snuggling they weren't big fans of that. However once I had my son at 17 I was the total opposite! I love snuggle time, I used to give him hugs and kisses and hold him as much as possible! I always told him I loved him and was consitant with that. I had 3 more daughters and now my kids ages 7,4, almost 3 and almost 2 I am still the same way! I love sitting on the couch watching movies or tv shows with them, and snuggling with all of them! Everynight we say our bedtime prayer and hug and kiss as well! My son who rides the bus to school still hugs and kisses me before he gets on the bus and turns around and says "I love you so much mom!". My daughters are the same way if I need to run somewhere and they can't go! I am just wondering if a lot of people are like this or affectionate when they need to be, like when their child is hurt, scared, tired or when they want hugs and kisses. Would love to hear some input!

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Cassie - posted on 11/08/2010

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I was raised in a very loving, affectionate home. My husband was not. We are raising our girls in a loving, affectionate home. Since my husband and I had our girls, his family has become much more caring both physically and verbally. Since I had my first daughter, my FIL and MIL now kiss us good bye and tell us they love us. This is a first in the ten years my husband and I have been together. I think they saw how we are with our girls and wanted that as well.

We LOVE cuddles, hugs, and kisses in our home! ♥

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Lacye - posted on 11/13/2010

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I love giving my daughter hugs and kisses, unfortunately, she doesn't like giving them most of the time!

Kayle - posted on 11/13/2010

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My parents were very affectionate. In fact my mom and I still cuddle up on the couch and watch Lifetime movies! But I cuddle my son and most of my family as much as I can. Constantly cuddle the hubby, my son, my sister, my little brother (who right now is at that cuddling isn't cool stage, 10 years old).

JuLeah - posted on 11/10/2010

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I am 100% more affectionate with my child then my parents' were with us. We used to joke that if they touched us it was because we had not ducked or ran fast enough.
I am not as affectionate as you report, and I wonder if my child would benifit if I were. I cuddle her when I read her stories, or put her to bed, in the morning .... hug her when I see her after school and things like that. I don't think kids can have too much affection.

Elisabeth - posted on 11/10/2010

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That sounds very similar to my situation. I love my mum and I know she loves me too but when it actually comes to saying it or showing it she really struggles. She's only hugged me on less then ten occasions and said "I love you" less then 5. Now with my two girls I tell them at least 5 times a day that I love them. I never spend time away from them even when someone offers (to babysit). I tell them that they are beautiful all the time and how precious they are to me. Hugging and kissing and snuggle all the time.

Chrystal - posted on 11/09/2010

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I am the same way. My daughter is only 4 months old, but I show her so much affection it's crazy LOL!! I guess each parent is different and have their own parenting style, but I couldn't imagine them growing up w/ no affection. You are doing an awesome job!

ME - posted on 11/09/2010

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I'm a touchy-feely kind of mom ;) I hug, kiss, squeeze and snuggle both of my kiddos on an hourly basis...I don't know what I will do when they become teenagers and kissing their momma is embarrassing...I will be the SADDEST momma ever!

Eliz - posted on 11/09/2010

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We love to show affection to our boys. My little one will present his finger to me and say owie so that I will kiss his booboo on his finger. Anytime he gets upset (like when he tell him NO to something) he comes to me and holds me tight. Its funny cause he will come to me for comfort even if I was the one that just yelled at him...lol

September - posted on 11/09/2010

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I grew up with a mom that was very affectionate and a dad that was semi affectionate physically (hugs, kisses) but was constantly telling us that he loved us. My dad was always the sole provider for our family and often times would get home after we had already gone to bed. I am a very affectionate person myself. I love to give it and receive it. My husband is affectionate as well. We are raising our son in a very loving and affectionate home. Our son, who is 2, is very loving and I can tell already he has a very kind soul. We cuddling a lot and we kiss and hug him more times than I can count on a daily basis. I love cuddle time with my boys! :)

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My family was never really physically affectionate. I mean, we had hugs, and the occasional kiss on the cheek, but everyone in my family called me the little porcupine because I was never very affectionate, especially as a child. I'm not even very affectionate with my husband. It's kind of sad, and I think it's affecting our relationship, but I don't know if it's just me or both of us doing it.

I don't know how we're going to raise our daughter. We will probably be affectionate when we need to be, but not overly so because I don't want her turning out like my fifteen-year-old brother, who can't handle his mom being out of the room half the time. Thinking about it now, I'm scared I'm gonna be a bad mom. Apparently you're supposed to be extremely affectionate but I just can't do that...

April - posted on 11/09/2010

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I love random snuggles on the couch!! we are a very affectionate family..there are random kisses and hugs and "i love you mommys" all day long. it's the best!! i was raised in very affectionate home, hubby was not...but our son has taught his grandparents how to hug and give kisses!

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Not overly affectionate either. I wasn't brought up in a touchy feely house, and I am not touchy feely either with my kids. I hug them goodbye and goodnight and when it's appropriate (sad, upset, hurt) but no random snuggles on the couch.

Tara - posted on 11/09/2010

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Not on the affectionate side of the fence here. We are close and enjoy our time together, we spend all day together since I homeschool them, but really we're not a snuggly touchy feely family. We hug in the morning, before bed and anytime we feel the need or desire. But we are not overly touchy feely, I wasn't brought up in a touchy house either.
To each their own.

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I'm one of those people who, when we're having a conversation, I tend to touch the other person's arm while I'm talking. I don't know if it's a southern thing or what, but I've worked hard to try not to do it with anyone but my closest of friends and family because I know it makes some people uncomfortable. As for my son and husband? Well....we're very affectionate and touchy feely. We hug and kiss a lot around here, just because. My favorite thing is when my son comes up to me and kisses me on my arm or hand and says, "I wuvvv youuu." No matter what I'm doing, I always stop and give him big squeezes and 10 kisses. My husband and I always hug and kiss 3 times before he leaves for work, even if we're in the middle of a disagreement. Don't know how it started happening but it's one for each of us (me, him and our son). We kiss hello. We also still hold hands while we're watching tv or when we're together in public (unless one of us is pushing a cart). So yeah we're definitely a touchy feely kind of family. ♥

Kate CP - posted on 11/09/2010

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I love cuddles and kisses with all my family. :)

My mom and dad, my sister, my husband, my kids...yup. We're just an affectionate family. :)

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Get used to all the cuddles and kisses while your kids are young as once the start school..its not cool for mom to kiss you in the school line.So my 6year old daughter tells me lol.

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I am not a snuggler. It drives me nuts. Babies, toddlers, and young preschoolers... fine, but any older than that and it starts to get on my nerves. All 3 of my kids are snugglers though, so I do the best I can w/ the girls that are almost 9 and almost as big as I am. ;)

Bonnie - posted on 11/09/2010

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My brother and I were brought up in a very affectionate kind of family. Not too sure about my husband's family. My husband is very affectionate and so is his sister though. They always hug and kiss eachother and say I love you.
We are bringing up our boys in a very affectionate environment as well. We all like to hug and kiss eachother and say I love you! I'll just mention this one comment that stuck with me from the other day. I was sitting on the couch snuggling with my boys and my 2 year old turns to me, grabs my face with a hand on either cheek and says, "Mommy you so cute!" I couldn't stop laughing afterwards and it also brought a tear to me eye.

Tah - posted on 11/09/2010

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We did not all hold hands and sing songs, but, we did know we were loved. Now my mom has a signature kiss...she puts on her favorite shade of lipstick and kisses you on the cheek or forehead, and everyone would see it and tease you and you didn't care....lol. The grandkids started calling it the grandma kiss..."what happened to your face"..."where, o that's my grandma kiss".....lol....I am in the middle...my 3 year old cuddles with me so i have no choice..lol..he comes and climbs so far up my back he could be my shirt, my 9 year old we kiss and hug when leaving in the morning or when i am going to work, she actually initiates it because her dad's side of the family is all hugs and kisses, i remember him tellling me i wasn't affectionate enough because i don't hug you when you go downstairs to get soda and then again when you return like you flew to another state....whatever...



my 13 year old is to cool for all that now...but he does love laying in my bed, i kick him out after a while...lol...when he gets too comfy and starts suggesting we switch rooms...." ya'll would still have your own bathroom and i have more counter space then you 2 have"....boy get out...lol

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My foster parents were not affectionate, that as i grew and if someone gave me a hug etc it would be very uncomfortable.

When i had my daughter 6 years ago and my second 22mths ago i couldn't imagine raising them without affection.I hug them all the time and kiss them.The never go a day without being told there loved and the feel it to..i dont over kill them with affection lol..but i couldn't go a day without a hug, kiss and i love you.I see how affectionate the are and its lovely.They will grew to be able to give affection and receive it without being so uncomfortable they way i was.Even if a friend was to cry in front of me. many would automatically hug them and comfort them but i would freeze and not do anything.Thankfully now i am a lot different.Affection is so important from birth to now as adults.



Go on give your kiddes a cuddle now,for nothing or as one mom said ,"just for the heck of it".lol:-) ♥

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2010

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I am ALWAYS cuddling my son! Granted he's 16 months lol so he's still little... but I've always been very affectionate with him, DH too. I think it has rubbed off on him because even since he was 9 months or so he is very cuddly as well, always give his stuffed animals hugs and the cats lol.

Growing up, I guess my dad was more stoic with physical affection. I think my mom was more affectionate but I honestly can't remember specific times where she hugged just for the heck of it.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/08/2010

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Yes my father (who raised me and my two sisters) was touchy feely…hugs, kisses, the four of us dancing around the house, singing together…

It’s the Same way with my son…but…I will add that I am no longer allowed to kiss him in front of ANY school kids….at home he is a “Mamas boy”

Just last year when he started the 1st grade, after going for a few months our routine would be walking him to class, and me giving him a kiss before he went to stand in line. One morning as we were walking toward the school, I asked for my kiss early, he said “Mom no” out the side of his mouth, my mouth feel open when he pulled me off to the side and kissed me so quick then looked around to make sure no kids seen him!!! We were not even by his class yet…LOL

Amie - posted on 11/08/2010

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We're like this. Though our 10 year old is getting hard to cuddle with while she sits on my lap. haha. She's almost the same size as me. So she generally lays on the couch next to me. She gives me a hug before walking into class most days. (If we drive them, they walk if it's nice out)



Our son still kisses my husband and myself, gives us a hug and then toodles off into class. =) He gives his teacher a hug at the end of each day too. (again, if we drive them.)



Our 3rd is like a leech. Even at night. We'll go to bed and by morning she's there wrapped around one of us. Depends on the day but she's generally latched onto one of our legs if we're walking or in our laps if we're sitting.



Our youngest is going through an independent stage but she still loves her cuddles. Just not for long periods like the others. She'd much prefer to cuddle, get up and stomp on a person, run off to giggle, then come back and repeat. LOL



We're a cuddly family, I love it. =) Movie nights are the best. Choreographing who's sitting where is interesting but we figure it out.

Jodi - posted on 11/08/2010

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My dad was never touchy feely and never verbalized affection either. My mom on the other hand was amazing! (Still is!) She was a stay at home mom and since back then I only had half days in kindergarten I can remember snuggling up on the couch with her for naps or to watch a cartoon, sitting on her lap to read books, being told "I love you." every single night, every morning before school and when I went off for college, every visit and every phone call. We still hug, I live 10 minutes away, see her 4 or 5 times a week and we hug when we meet and when we leave! My mom is one of my best friends now. I absolutely LOVE snuggling with my baby girl! She comes into our bedroom in the morning and we just snuggle and tickle and giggle in bed for at least a half an hour!!! It's some of the best parts of my days!

Leah - posted on 11/08/2010

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My parents weren't very touchy, feely either that I remember and I can't even remember them even saying I love you. Which, to be honest, was never a big deal, didn't know the difference, and I always knew they loved me anyways. But now with our kids, I am very affectionate with them, always giving hugs and kisses (maybe too much...;D), cuddling etc. And I made a promise to myself that I would tell my kids I love them every day for as long as conceivably possible (of course I won't call them when they move away to go to college every day just to tell them I love them....or maybe....lol). I want them to know I love them and now my daughter will just come out of the blue when we're at home and say 'Mama?' and I'll say yes, and she'll say "I love you'. OMG, makes my eyes tear up with joy to hear her say that. But yeah, did that answer the question? What was the question? :D

Sharon - posted on 11/08/2010

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My mom wasn't happy happy joy joy bouncy bouncy touchy huggy feely - but we got lots of hugs and she was never shy with telling us she loved us.

It was hard for her because of the culture she came from but she worked hard to overcome that so that we would not feel less love from her compared to our american friends.

I don't know about my husbands family - but you guys read about them, they're so fucked.

Our family is VERY touchy huggy feely. My younger son is HUGELY touchy huggy feely. He had to work hard to overcome that (LMAO) when he started playing sports. Other kids just take advantage of you when you stop to pick up their teammate, dust him off and ask "Hey buddy? Are you ok? Its ok dude, heres' mom she'll make you better.." I kid you not. He'd stop to hug and high five kids for good moves on the playing field.

Krista - posted on 11/08/2010

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I'm not normally a touchy-feely type. My mom is really huggy and kissy, and after awhile, I'm like, "Okay, back off there, Octopus Lady."

Of course now, with my own little boy, I'm constantly hugging and kissing him and snuggling with him and tickling him. If he's on my lap, I plant kisses on the back of his head and neck. I kiss his little feet and pretend to eat his toes during diaper changes. I just can't get enough of that kid.

So now I kind of understand where my own mom is coming from.

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