To Loureen..

C. - posted on 12/20/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

4,125

35

238

I am rejoining this group temporarily only to send out a public apology to one of the people that has been very supportive when I needed someone to talk to.

Loureen, I am so sorry for the way my post came off in the Dropside Cribs thread. It was not written the way it was intended to sound and I know I worded it poorly. I feel awful that it came off the way it did and I hope you can someday forgive me for it.

Sincerely,
Christina

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Mary - posted on 12/20/2010

3,348

31

119

Sometimes, I think we all need to remember that intent is not all that matters...perception of your statements is important as well.



For example, this OP is ll because someone said some thing to another (perhaps in a moment of haste of even possibly anger). Her INTENT was not to be malicious, but that is how it was perceived by many. Because of how others PERCEIVED it, a big shit fest ensued.



Sometimes we need to apologize not so much for our words or actions, but how it came across to others, even when it was not our intent.



I chose to believe that no one intended to "gang up" on Christina, but I do fear that this is how it may appear to not only her, but apparently some others as well.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

noone is saying you have to agree with her all the time, but you do go super hard on her. This is from the outside looking in, she goes hard back, don't get me wrong..it was one post where you 2 were going back and forth and someone else, i forgot who, said something to the effect of "dana, you know what you are doing"...if i had to go through every post to find it i would have a fit, but if it helps jog your memory, you were on your way out to hear your husband play so you were saying you had to go. I know maybe we don't really notice or realize when we are going that hard or that often on someone,sometimes we do. i mean we, not just you, but it does happen and it can make people feel like you have a problem with them when it happens often and then others join in, or not join in..let's say, have a view similar to yours. So even if it's not being ganged up on, it can give that off and on here and all we have is how things come off since we are not sitting at a round table looking at each other, we have to try and decipher it in black and white.

Amie - posted on 12/20/2010

6,596

20

408

*** MOD Alert ***

I'm locking this thread. The apology has been made and accepted by the concerning parties. No need for this to turn into a debate.

Amie

~DM mod

Dana - posted on 12/20/2010

11,264

35

489

I think it's great Christina apologized, it needed to be said. But, I would like to address this notion that some of you have that she was ganged up on. Where specifically would this be?

Iris - posted on 12/20/2010

1,993

29

49

Christina, don't go!!
If only more people could do what you just did.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

33 Comments

View replies by

Katherine - posted on 12/20/2010

65,420

232

4849

I think we've all felt ganged up on at some point. I know I have. But like Dana said, it is a debating forum and you have to discern between a personal attack and someones opinion.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

Laura?..you are not the only one that has questioned her reading comprehension, it has been done before...



@Dana, like i said she is not innocent, i met christina on military moms with children and i think we were at each others throats, i was hard on those women..goodness..you all have NOT seen me like that..or maybe you have and thats why i received the PM to come join over here...lmbbo..but she stood her ground, right/wrong and i had to admire that in her. Anywho, i am just saying how it can look, i am not saying who i think starts it, we all start it from time to time, but we all need to be able to give a good look from the outside and check ourselves when need be that's all.

Dana - posted on 12/20/2010

11,264

35

489

I have consciously watched what I say to her because she gets touchy, I don't do that for anyone else. When she starts being rude, yes, I react.
I know what you're talking about as far as someone saying "Dana, you know what you are doing" , it was Shauna, who happened to be agreeing with Christina in a thread, I had never seen Shauna before that thread nor does she know me. I wasn't doing anything in that thread and if you do go look it was Christina and Shauna who were attacking me with personal attacks.

Don't get me wrong either, I am capable of removing myself from the situation and looking at it from another angle. I admit, I do react badly to things that Christina says but, I do not purposely try to start these altercations that we have or start them at all for that matter.

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

9,849

0

282

the reading comprehension thing was me...and it came after I said I had read books on the topic and she hadn't and her response was that I was better than her and always right. I think questioning comprehension at that point was not an attack but a logical point to make. And I was in the minority in that thread...it may not look like it because I posted soooooo much, but yeah, a lot of people basically called me stupid in that thread, and I didn't freak out until I got sick and tired of fights being picked that day.

Dana - posted on 12/20/2010

11,264

35

489

I agree that if you have an unpopular opinion yes, it can feel like you're getting ganged up on but, that isn't actually reality, it's a debate, you have an unpopular opinion....
I also want to clarify something that has been said yesterday and today....that Christina and I don't agree, there are times I agree with her but, it's a debating forum, I'm not here to talk about agreeing, I'm here to debate what someone has said. Christina just seems to get super fly pissed when I do disagree with her.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

maybe Laura? said it better, it can seem like that, and christina always seems to be on the opposite end of alot of people. We know she and Dana S. never agree and go at it, and in between others come in and say similar things to her or things that would be borderline attacks, on reading comprehension, things of that nature, i think we know how to get some things in under the personal attack radar here ladies..lol. I won't go into each and every post or thread that i have read where this may have been the case, i would be here all day, but i will say that if i am honest i can see where she can feel ganged up on at times, and noone here can say that she doesn't come with her big girl panties on because she stays and will clarify, and repeat, and keep posting until the dang thing gets locked, lol. I am not saying she is always right, we are all guilty of it, but alot of times when your view is not the most popular, and you feel like someone has something against you anyway, it can sure feel like a gang up...

Katherine - posted on 12/20/2010

65,420

232

4849

There was a dropside crib thread on the welcome page. I'm not sure if that's it or if another started here.

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

4,813

22

257

hmm i'm not sure then. The reason why I picked up on that one is because Christina mentioned the 'Dropside Cribs' thread in her post.

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

4,813

22

257

I just want to say that I was not on the computer at all yesterday, which is unusual for me, but this was the first thread that I caught up on today and I am kind of surprised as to all that happened within a day.
Christina, I don't want you to go, if this is what you are thinking of doing. I love reading your posts. I really do. People don't always say things they are proud of or they think they are right at one point, but then they think about it and realise that maybe it should have been left unsaid. You did the right thing in clarifying and apologizing.

Loureen, I have noticed that you haven't been posting as much lately. I hope everything will be okay for you in the end.

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

9,849

0

282

I think it just looks like ganging up when a group of people agree and few disagree...I rarely think it's intentional

Dana - posted on 12/20/2010

11,264

35

489

Nah, it can't be that, I was the only one who said anything and I didn't attack her, I said the post disgusted me.

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

4,813

22

257

Jackie-Rae, it is the thread that Christina mentioned in her post at the top I believe.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

I agree with the ganging up on people, it happens on here and it can cause people to be upset and to get defensive, it's hard going back and forth with people when you feel ambushed.

I am so sorry Loureen, i didn't know what was going on, i can't imagine what you are going through and you and your family are in my prayers, and yes, it does call into light what is important in life...

Katherine - posted on 12/20/2010

65,420

232

4849

Ok, so I just teared up. There are so many times when people gang up on one person and I want to just say "why?" I wasn't around for it. But you know life is so much more than this. We have all become friends and close friends at that.



Love you Loureen.

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

9,849

0

282

Christina, I would like to apologize as well. I lost my temper yesterday and I shouldn't have.

I know you feel like I gang up on you all the time (I was truly SHOCKED when I read that by the way), cause I really don't intend to, and if it comes across that way I am truly sorry.

I will be watching myself a little more closely as I believe my sense of humour may not travel well and I never meant to hurt your feelings.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

don't worry Nikki, im going on facebook to drag her back kicking and screaming, much like how she left..lol..love that girl....bout to post on her page now...

Nikki - posted on 12/20/2010

5,263

41

554

Christina, I agree you shouldn't leave. You know you really love it here.

Loureen ((hugs)) hope you are ok.

Mary - posted on 12/20/2010

3,348

31

119

Christina, in light of all that transpired yesterday, I admire you for posting this publicly. It is a credit to your character. It is never easy to say you are sorry, or admit a wrong, especially when it was not your intent. Thank you for being so gracious.

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

351

don't leave prato...it will be less exciting without you here, of course less threads will have a huge lock on them before i can get there to back you up or disagree with you, but it won't be the same.

Loureen, i hope things get better for you, i am praying for whatever your situation is...

this was nice of you ladies...

Louise - posted on 12/20/2010

5,429

69

2296

What nice posts to read ladies, you are both genuinely nice women. Thats refreshing!

Charlie - posted on 12/20/2010

11,203

111

401

Christina ,

I can always find it in my heart to forgive a person with a sincere apology , Thank you .

To be honest my heart isn't in it to engage in debate , My life is overwhelmingly hard at the moment , I enjoy reading COM if not for the sheer sense of brain numbing entertainment so I can , if only for a brief moment forget about things .

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms