video on Dr Phil of mother forcing child to swallow hot sauce

Melissa - posted on 01/30/2011 ( 171 moms have responded )

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what do you guys think of this video do you think it is waranted as a punishment or that it is child abuse. A mother shows a video on DR Phil of making her child swallow hot sauce as punishment for a bad school report Ive never posted a link before so hoping it works

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8204131...

I think its pretty bad, and Im a tough parent. I think she should have her kids taken off her and definately jail time

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[deleted account]

uhh...shes abusing her kids, she admits its wrong, fine, but you cant abuse someone, steal something, assault a person, kill someone, then admit it and oh its ok now. I could care less what brought her to that point. She is still abusing her children. Whatever HER problem is, she still had no right to take it out on her kids.

Krista - posted on 02/03/2011

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Of course none of us are perfect, and we all find ourselves at the end of our rope at some point or another.

But there's a line. And force-feeding your child something that hurts them? That's the line. Forcing them into a cold shower and screaming at them while they shriek in agony? That's the line.

Not all abuse is broken bones and bruises. Sometimes abuse is degradation and terror.

My mom was very strict with me, and I had a pretty healthy fear of consequences, which (sometimes) kept me in line.

But she was never terrifying. She was never out of control. And she never did anything that physically hurt me.

Is this woman the worst child abuser to ever exist? No, she's not. Sadly, there are MUCH worse out there. But that still does not negate the fact that she was basically terrorizing that child.

Jodi - posted on 02/02/2011

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Okay! So this is debating Mom's correct!! Good!!
Because I'll call out right now Shauna Roberts and I Quote," And the hot sauce thing... eh .. my son loved it. And still asks for it on his food." Good for your son, have you ever made him hold pure hot sauce in his mouth for an extended period of time?? and Sherri Champagne I Quote,"I think the cold shower over the top and abusive, the hot sauce actually don't have a problem with, yelling at him well that is fine too." Yelling at him and putting hot sauce in his mouth because he lied because he was clearly TERRIFIED to have HotSauce in his MOUTH yet AGAIN!! I'm sorry, but are you two serious!! Go put hotsauce in your mouths please, Have your Husband or Mother scream at you and then come back and tell me that that is an ideal punishment for a small child who told a lie because he was afraid of his punishment!

Amie - posted on 01/30/2011

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If it's from the episode I watched a long time ago, it's a lot more than just hot sauce in the mouth.

She's an out of control mother and admits it herself on the show. She used cold showers as corrective behavior and a few other things I've since blocked out of my memory. =/

At least she had the guts to admit she needed help and went seeking it.

Shauna - posted on 02/04/2011

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I was one that never had a problem with people that chose to spank their kids, its how i was brought up and how my husband was brought up. *not beating, spanking*

And then, before i had kids i took parenting classes, and tons of seminars, and went through schooling for early childhood ed.

My philosphy changed greatly!!!! i would never spank my kids.

i tend to put myself in ppls shoes, and see how maybe their mind saw it at the time.

Life is a learning lesson, and not everyone does things for bad intentions or realizing they did something bad. The lady said herself she has a prob.

Find the lady some soloutions get her help and teach her their are other ways to disipline.

I dont think taking her children away is the right way to "teach her a lesson" I dont see a women that doesnt love her children at all. i see a frustrated women that went into parenthood without the right skills.

You all are smart women so its easy to say this is wrong no one should ever do this.... but your not that women.
You dont know a thing about her or what her upbrining was like. We only know what we are taught and maybe she wasnt taught correctly.

there is certainly things i did with my oldest that i dont do with my youngest b/c i learned trial by error.

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Anna - posted on 01/25/2012

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It was a heart breaking video. I believe no amount of parenting classes can teach you sensitivity to treat a child kind. It's there in you. These kind of people when caught, pretend that they took parenting classes and they learnt a lot just to save themselves from getting into troulbe with legal authorities but nothing changes behind the closed doors.

Kids should be taken away from anybody that treated a child cruel. If they could do it once they can do it over and over again just being more careful not to get caught ever again.

Melissa - posted on 02/05/2011

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Im so sorry to hear that Stephanie I cannot begin to imagine what you have been thru the trauma you have experienced you have come through it well done stay strong

[deleted account]

Its a good thing its a criminal case, then other moms who do the same thing can realize its wrong. Make an example out of one, and someone else may see the error in their ways. We as a whole society need to do everything we can to protect children in general, not just our own.

[deleted account]

Wow no wonder the woman was in such a bad mental state with this going on with her husband as well. No excuse of course but it does add alot to the big picture of how things end up the way they do. And I agree, it wouldn't have been a criminal case without all the politics involved.

[deleted account]

When I watched the show back in November, I remember the mother telling Dr. Phil that it was her HUSBAND that suggested those methods to her. Apparently he was in the army at some point and strongly believes in corporal punishment and torture.

Jenn - posted on 02/05/2011

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When did anyone say she should "go directly to jail and lose your kids forever"? She was charged - not tossed in jail. She's plead not guilty and chances are the charges will get dropped. I found this in another article: "The prosecution of Jessica Beagley is being driven by politics. If it wasn't for the national publicity from Dr. Phil, the Russian interest, and the desire of APD to detract from the embarrassing prosecution of one of their own, Anthony Rollins, it's unlikely that this would be a criminal case. It would be limited only to intervention by child protective services." Her husband is a police officer, and is "currently being tried for job-related sexual misconduct."

[deleted account]

@liz, i do believe i said its a good thing she got help, everyone changes, but she should still suffer the consequences of her actions.

[deleted account]

Liz- I do think this woman has alot of potential bc #1)She outted herself on national television in hopes of getting serious help for what was going on. Of course Ive seen so much more severe abuse but I still feel that this shouldn't be overlooked. I don't think she needs jail time, though. Like I said before, I think she has the potential to be a good mom. She was trying to get help and wants to do better. Most abusers dont think they're doing anything wrong or just dont care so there's no helping them. The initial shock of what she did infuriated me but after letting it sink in I dont feel that she needs jail time but that she does just need serious help. The whole family needs help. She must have really wanted to be a mom and have a family to love since she adopted 2 kids from Russia. That's not easy to do.



Shauna- Thanks for your kind words. Life is what we make it. When bad things happen you have to pick yourself up and forge ahead else you'll just be sucked further down.

[deleted account]

And Julianne- This mother thought she was disciplining and realized she was out of control. If we all went through life thinking people aren't capable of change then it would be a very sad world to live in.

[deleted account]

Stephanie- What you went through is horrible and children having to go through that with no redemption is exactly why our CPS system is seriously flawed. I also know a bit about this since my family was in the system, rightfully so, because of sexual abuse. My husbands oldest is a ward of the state right now because her mother was found with more then 3 dozen needles in her home within the reach of the kids. They were all severely neglected and we're fighting like hell to get her, but guess what, she wasn't charged with anything. She will most likely have her kids back in a few months.
What you endured was not hot sauce, yelling, and cold showers. What my dad did was not hot sauce, yelling, and cold showers. So if I am horrible for thinking what this woman did isn't at the top of the "go directly to jail and lose your kids forever list" I'm sorry but it is my opinion.

Shauna - posted on 02/04/2011

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Thats horrible stephanie, sorry you had to experience those awful things.

[deleted account]

And just to add, those scars don't fade away. I am 37 years old now and after typing about what happened to me 25+ years ago I was shaking and actually puked. Now tell me it's not abuse.

[deleted account]

Yep, i can honestly say that i have been physically and psychologically abused as a child. Hot sauce, excessive yelling and cold showers being amongst those things...My mom thought she was disciplining me though... So i know EXACTLY how this kid felt, i know what problems it causes, and i know its wrong.

[deleted account]

@LIz:

To you comment "Honestly I wonder if any of you have seen REAL physical abuse or REAL psychological torture."



Let's see where do I begin, so many lovely memories to choose from. Ok lets start with getting my head shaved bc my dads wife hated my curly hair bc I looked like my mother, or her accusing me of fucking my father and forcing me to strip naked and examine my genetalia and choking me with an electrical cord. Or that I was 20 lbs underweight for my age and forced to sleep outside when they'd had enough of me. Or that I was beat with the buckle end of a leather strap day in and day out, not to mention all the punches to the head and face or the 'you worthless piece of shit trashy whore' remarks on a daily basis. Oh yes and how about the time they held a gun on me and made me beg for my life and " 'click' not that one but maybe the next will have a bullet 'click' oh here it comes not many more empty chambers 'click' ".

So yeah Liz, I know a thing or two about it.

[deleted account]

That's so true, Jenn. So many times when allegations are made there's no proof, but in this instance there is and she needs to face and deal with the consequences of her actions.

Jenn - posted on 02/04/2011

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Also, it is true that there are "worse" cases out there who have CPS called on them, yet nothing is done. The difference is a matter of proof. I could call Children's Aid all day long on someone, but if there's no proof of anything, and the parent hides any wrong-doing, of course no real action will be taken. This lady had her abuse on video for the whole world to see - seems like a lot of proof to me.

[deleted account]

IF you watched the original show on Dr. Phil, you'd know that she agreed to allow a team of Dr. Phil's experts and a camera crew into her home following the show. Dr. Phil made it VERY clear that if he saw anything that caused him to be alarmed, or if she wasn't complying that HE personally would call CPS on her.

[deleted account]

I'm with Shannen and Julianne, yes she did do the right thing by going and getting help but and it's a big but what she did to that child was wrong, it was abusive and as has been pointed out, it raises questions as to how she treated her other children and how they were disciplined, I doubt that she only disciplined one child that harshly.

I also doubt the authorities would be taking things this far if what we have seen is the full extent of the abuse because she has shown she wants help to change her behaviour, so parenting classes and close contact with CPS should be sufficient. The fact she is being charged to me suggests there is a lot more to this story than we know, we only know of her abusing one child, what if she was abusing all of her children? What if she has had parenting classes and still disciplines in the same way because she is unable to change? What if the abuse was far worse than what we saw? Just because someone isn't hitting and leaving bruises doesn't mean they are not abusing their children, mental abuse is often far worse than physical abuse and actually has a much longer lasting effect on the individual.

[deleted account]

So Liz, If i went out and stole something but then went and sought help for this "problem" i am having i shouldn't get jail time or charged for it?

Even though i knew better just as this woman knows better otherwise she would never have sought the help in the first place.

[deleted account]

I may be playing devils advocate here but just because shes being charged 3 months later doesn't mean she is still doing something wrong it only means she did something wrong. Someone can be charged until the statute of limitations runs out which is a matter of years.
Many of you saw the show and many only saw the media coverage. Also in dealing with an international adoption all hell is breaking loose and it is possible thats why shes being charged. I have seen worse on shows like Dr. Phil and they get left alone. I have seen a lot worse many times in my home town. Usually CPS comes in, investigates, if they substantiate parent classes or some kind of protocol is required, they may or may not pull the kids, if the protocol is not met they push for termination of parental rights.

Pretty much everyone agrees that she was NOT handle things right but this is not how these things are usually handled.

Meghan - posted on 02/03/2011

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clearly she must still be doing something wrong if she is getting charged like 3 months after the show aired...

[deleted account]

Liz, I'm not assuming anything. I watched the full episode on Dr. Phil in November. A lot of the women here have seen more than just a few minutes of a video.

[deleted account]

Like I said before, the woman is asking for help and getting crucified for it. Some of you are assuming so much about a family you don't know anything about other then a video a few minutes long. Maybe that is how she was raised and thats all she knows, maybe she is overwhelmed because she has six kids, whatever it is isn't the point because she admitted she is doing things wrong.

Meghan - posted on 02/03/2011

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I totally agree, the reason he lies is because he knows what is going to happen...yes all kids tell fibs. Wouldn't it be better if we taught our kids that they don't need to tell them? If my son felt the need to lie to me because he was terrified of me I would feel like a piece of crap.I would rather him do it because he is testing his boundaries. Part of being a good parent is giving our children a safe place to learn right from wrong, not fly off the handle and act like a crazy bitch when then do step out of line.
And I know this is a late comment, but if he was expected to "swish" hot sauce in his mouth, or hold it there...to me that implies more than a little drop. You can't swish a little drop of anything in your mouth esp if you are having a screaming fit or crying...just saying.

Nikkole - posted on 02/03/2011

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I agree with Julianne he was terrified and he knew what his punishment was so tried to lie to make his mom go easer but it was worse but i think if he told the truth she would have punished him severely either way she has problems!

[deleted account]

liz, yes telling a lie is wrong. still he was so scared of his mom he felt the need to lie so he wouldn't get horribly punished. It was a self defense mechanism which he should never have learned. Kids lie, they tell stories, but this case is different, its out of fear.

Nikkole - posted on 02/03/2011

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my son is 3 and if does ANYTHING bad he blames it on his sister (who is 6 months) if he lies to the naughty chair he goes

[deleted account]

Julianne-Lying is the worst thing my kids can do and brings way more trouble then telling the truth but yet they still lie about the littlest things. You know why, because they are kids. When they don't lie they get sent to the corner for a few minutes or clean up what ever mess they made. When they do lie they lose tv, video games, and get extra chores for a week but they still lie about things like who got water on the bathroom floor.

Melissa - posted on 02/03/2011

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re: comments below my daughter doesnt even recognise when the water is too hot. We dont have a bath but when batehd at the inlaws hubby ran the bath and put her in she came out red I touched the water it was so hot :(

Stifler's - posted on 02/03/2011

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She just sounds like a psychopath, and still punishing him for a disciplinary action at school? He's already been punished by the school.

Charlie - posted on 02/03/2011

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Forcing anything in a persons mouth regardless of how hot it is is uncalled for and abusive IMO.

[deleted account]

If i were the go and put one of my kids in a straight cold shower right now, even though it's another hot summers day and to me th ecold would be nice, they would scream the house down. So to do it as a punishment would be horrible. I can't get passed how un loved that child would feel.

Marylea - posted on 02/03/2011

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I would just like to clarify that the little boy didn't get hotsauce and cold shower for a bad report card. He was in trouble for lying about getting disciplinary cards from school for fighting with another boy over pencils (as far as I understand) This woman has 6 children. I don't know how many of them are her bio children and how many are adpoted. What I find really sad about this is I was reading that when she first saw a photo of the twins before she adopted them she immediately felt a connection with one, Koyla, (who apparently reminded her of her bio son) but not with the other, Kristof. Kristof is the one she was abusing in the video. The woman says that Koyla is a good boy but Kristof isn't. It sounds like she had decided before she adopted the children which one she liked and which one she didn't.



A cold shower is definitely an uncalled for punishment that is totally not okay. Its demeaning and could cause injury if continued for too long.



As for the hotsauce its never shown as to what type of hot sauce she's using. I don't know if anyone here has ever heard of satan's blood but its a hotsauce so hot that it will cause you to throw up if you eat much more than a drop. Some people are fine with spicy food but other aren't. So this could just be some franks red hot or it could a much hotter sauce. Regardless I think its an abusive punishment.



Another question for me is why did her 10 yr old daughter feel the need to film this. Was this a cry for help for her adoptive brother or for herself as well? The woman asked dr phil “My only question is do I lower this arbitrary bar for all of my children or just for Kristoff?” This a big red flag for me that she's abusing her other children too.



Marylea~

Stifler's - posted on 02/03/2011

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My cold shower isn't really cold. But once it was a bit too cold for Logan even though I didn't think it would be and he screamed bloody murder

[deleted account]

The water is cool her but by no means cold. During winter it is freezing and hurts to wash my hands without adding any hot water.

[deleted account]

My water comes out icy cold. It makes sense because the water travels in pipes underground to get to your house, and its winter so my ground is not only frozen, but covered with 2 ft of snow since that storm.

Isobel - posted on 02/03/2011

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maybe our water gets colder in our pipes here cause we have basements or something...but straight cold water out of our taps is like ice.



in fact...I've had trouble washing my hands before cause it hurt too much when there isn't ANY warm water added

[deleted account]

Laura, I'd happily hop in a cold shower tonight! But then again it is summer here and stinkin hot.

[deleted account]

Next ppl may think putting dreads in your childs hair is abuse!!!!!!!!!!!



I doubt that...since they dont hurt and they are simple to put in and keep clean...that is just ridiculous.



edit to add



You keep saying this is not abuse, i was simply pointing out that it is infant classified as a form of psychological abuse. He is severely afraid of her, so bad that he LIED to her to avoid punishment, hes so scared he couldn't even show her his marks... If that's not mentally abusing someone then what is?

Isobel - posted on 02/03/2011

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has nobody here ever had a cold shower??? They hurt...I dare you to go stand in a cold shower for five minutes tonight...then imagine it on a small body with very little body fat.

Charlie - posted on 02/03/2011

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Mental / psychological abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse which torturous methods from hot sauce to hosing down with cold water to the more intense types are most definitely part of the physiological abuse spectrum .

Charlie - posted on 02/03/2011

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There is also the allergen and chemical aspect to soaping and hot sauce not to mention the demeaning nature of the act ......people really don't think before they act .

[deleted account]

I did say MAY not hurt them physically. What if it happened in the middle of winter where the water is freezing? How can it not be abuse?

[deleted account]

It could hurt you physically, if your in it long enough and the water gets cold enough, it might cause hypothermia.

[deleted account]

A cold showe rmay not hurt physically but think of the emotional aspect. He is already and adopted child who seems to be almost ahted by his new parent. That poor boy just needs some good old fashioned love and he wasn't getting it.

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