video on Dr Phil of mother forcing child to swallow hot sauce

Julianne - posted on 02/03/2011

It could hurt you physically, if your in it long enough and the water gets cold enough, it might cause hypothermia.

Shannen - posted on 02/03/2011

A cold showe rmay not hurt physically but think of the emotional aspect. He is already and adopted child who seems to be almost ahted by his new parent. That poor boy just needs some good old fashioned love and he wasn't getting it.

Julianne - posted on 02/03/2011

@ shauna, it is illegal to beat punish and torture inmates now. Yet some parents think its ok to do to children....if a prison guard took a man, stripped him down and threw him in a cold shower, the guard would lose his job and be charged because it is ILLEGAL. So yes i can compare it to prison, i was not referring to corrupt guards, i was referring to the law.

Nikkole - posted on 02/03/2011

I seriously almost cried while watching that clip that Jodi posted! I had my 6month old on my lap and i couldn't help but hug her and tell my 3yr old i loved him! i know this isn't the worse thing to happen to kids but its pretty close to make that child scream and cry like that i know the cold shower didn't hurt but it was the fact she was yelling at him OVER and OVER and made him put all that hot sauce in his mouth and swoosh it around in his mouth! I comend her for getting help but i also think they did right by putting her in jail she should get punished for her actions she probably damaged this boy so much by doing these things to him hopefully he can get help and talk with someone to make him understand he did nothing wrong and i mean for god sake's kids lie about grades and stuff i mean i know i tried (im a CRAPPY liar lol) but i would NEVER spank,make my kids put hot sauce in there mouth or take a cold shower! They would have video games and whatever elses they liked taken away and i would go to the teacher or call them and see what we could do to help the child! I can't believe anyone would do this to little kid! You couldn't see this kids face but you could tell he was scared shitless!

Shannen - posted on 02/03/2011

Shauna, My husband wasn't yelled at by his step father but he was treated like shit. Examples are below. I want to know why it is that screaming ta them and throwing them would be abuse but not a simple little thing like the hot sauce? Or standing on a green ant nest both are as equally horrible. That child was clearly distraught by it which makes it abuse IMO.

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2011

@Liz - as I already stated, if you are having a hard time controlling your temper, and you yell, or are ready to throw in the towel - then bravo to you for seeking help and help you shall receive. Clearly, what she was doing was considered abuse enough for her to be charged. Here's the thing - if this is what she was willing to show on TV, then what the fuck is she doing behind closed doors? And who's to say she wasn't supposed to follow through with some parenting classes or counselling and failed to do so, or perhaps CPS decided to pop in for a visit and found something more disturbing. We don't have all of the information, but I can not, and will not condone her behaviour in any way. I understand that there are different degrees of abuse - some more violent than others, some more shocking, some more psychological, but that doesn't lessen the fact that abuse is abuse in ANY form. If a husband was treating his wife this way, would we all look away and say he's a great husband for seeking help? Or would many of you tell that poor woman to run for the hills? Why on earth do we place such little value on our children? :(

Shauna - posted on 02/03/2011

Julianne- You cant compare that to prison. B/C if you think prison guards dont turn their backs to abuse victimes your wrong. Or allow to be paid off to keep their mouths shut about things.... your wrong. So comparing it to the prison system is irrelevant.

This lady did not look like a maniac. She was not running around the house screaming at the top of her lungs.
Everyone agrees she needs a different parenting approach, and she seeked help. So help the women!!!!

Next ppl may think putting dreads in your childs hair is abuse!!!!!!!!!!!

You are very very extreme --- no one said psychological abuse doesnt happen. So i dont know why you keep bringing that up?

I would NOT call this TORTURE.

screaming at your child telling them they are dumb, stupid, and a peice of shit , then throwing them in the basement .... that would be torture.

Liz - posted on 02/03/2011

I don't even know what to say about this anymore because everything is abuse. This woman reached out for help and instead of getting that help shes getting charged with child abuse. Its basically telling any parent that if they do anything questionable not to ask for help but try something else that could be just as questionable or even worse. Honestly I wonder if any of you have seen REAL physical abuse or REAL psychological torture. She was doing wrong and she knew it and owned up to it, in my book that makes her a great parent because she needed to find a better way for her childrens sake and actually went for help.

Julianne - posted on 02/03/2011

I can't believe with all the information out there, people still think physical and psychological torture is not abuse....we don't allow that done to prison inmates but its ok to do it to children?

Shannen - posted on 02/03/2011

Hot sauce isn't abuse? Shit hey then i guess standing ona green ant nest in the middle of winter isn't either?? I can tell you know my husband would tell you other wise. He was also made to sleep without a pillow and to stay in his room all day long every day but none of that is abuse now is it??

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2011

Laura - the difference is this: if you yell a bit too much and don't know how to deal with you child so you reach out for help - great. When you are abusing your child and you reach out for help - great that you recognize you have issues and need help, but the fact of the matter is , you are abusing your child. It is Dr. Phil's job or anyone else for that matter to report that abuse to the proper authorities. I wonder if some of you would feel differently if we had seen her beat him - would you still think it's sad that she was charged? I see no difference. :'(

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2011

Yeah - I tried to watch that full video again and just like when it was on TV the first time I had to shut it off - it makes me sick! To ANYONE who thinks this is in any way OK is SICK!

Laura - posted on 02/03/2011

My whole issue with this is she contacted Dr. Phil because she knew what she was doing was wrong. She wanted to honestly change. Now because she reached out for help she is getting charged and thrown in jail. That's going to tell people NOT to ask for help when they know they need it. She could have kept going on like she was and never brought it to anyone's attention and the boy could have kept getting abused. How many other parents are now just going to keep their mouths shut and not get the help they need because they see that this is what asking gets you?

Jodi - posted on 02/03/2011

You know with all this debate about what the mother did I just had to go and look this episode up on line, The link provided by Mandy is not the full video! The one I found is much more detailed about what happened. I hated every second I watched this and even as I type this I feel so sick and sad to think that anyone condones this!! So for Shauna and Sheri, the only two that seem to feel that this was an okay form of punishment and she should not have her children taken away, I just want to confirm that you stand firm in your belief after watching the link I'm providing!

And tell me Sheri, that she only put a drop of hotsauce in his mouth!!!!! UGGG!!!

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/30...



I just wanted to also add that she plead Not Guilty to child abuse and the next hearing will not be until March 21st!

I really hope all those children are being closely monitored and being kept safe!

Chatty - posted on 02/03/2011

I'm not disagreeing that jail time might have been excessive, but for some of you ladies to say that the EXCESSIVE yelling, hot saucing and cold showers wouldn't register on your radar -- that's disturbing.

Shauna, HOPEFULLY them putting her in jail (by the way, she pled guilty and abuse is punishable by law) does make people afraid to discipline their children in that manner. It's disgusting and deplorable.

Shauna - posted on 02/03/2011

The lady needs some parenting classes. Thats it. Not jail time. If you start throwing women in jail for these types of reasons, no one is going to discipline their children. Because everyone will be too afraid of getting thrown into jail!!!!

Stephanie - posted on 02/03/2011

Amanda, those things are absolutely deplorable but just bc things could always be worse doesn't mean we should overlook lesser offenses. I could chop off my child's arm, but I didn't kill her so should it be overlooked bc "at least i didn't do something worse". I was abused to an unimaginable level as a child- far beyond a old shower and hot sauce- but do I think her tactics center on willfull abuse? Absolutely and no child should have to go through this at any level. Do I think she could learn to do better and potentially become a good mother? Yes. Do I think a person who starves babies in the basement like you stated could be counceled and brought up to an acceptable standard of parenting? Never, someone like that is absolutely and irretrievably insane.

Amanda - posted on 02/03/2011

I saw this Dr phil, I was upset but like a few other mothers said, this one didnt even flash on my radar. This woman was only doing what she knew! Im sorry but a cold shower and hot sauce is abuse, but going to jail for it?? How about a parenting class??

Last year a whole family was arrested, grandma, parents, because they had their two youngest children living in the basement, in their own SHIT, PUKE, and cat SHIT, the children where only feed, if the 9 year old thought to go feed them. They werent bathed, their diapers where ONLY changed if the 9 year old thought to do it. Btw the 9 year old and 12 year old lived upstairs, in a clean bedroom, where bathed, clothed and feed (maybe cause they were school age). Most people in the neighbourhood didnt even know there were young children in the home! Now thats something to be outraged about!

Isobel - posted on 02/03/2011

for cripes sake I've done it in all caps already once...relaying inaccurate information is a pet peeve of mine

THE HOT SAUCE IN THE MOUTH WAS FOR LYING...NOT GETTING BAD GRADES

anyhoo, Krista said it perfectly. It was abuse, without question in my mind. Have you ever been in a cold shower for more than thirty seconds? It would be agony, as would hot sauce in my mouth...she made him hold it in his mouth and swish it around for a certain amount of time.

Hitting isn't the only form of abuse.

Do I think she's evil? no. Do I think she needs some serious help to find an appropriate way to effectively discipline a child with a very unusual and frustrating disorder? yup.

Julianne - posted on 02/03/2011

laws are cracking down on abusive parents, and yes excessive yelling is physiological abuse, scaring someones brain is worse than any smack could be.

Tia Melissa - posted on 02/03/2011

It's funny but I used to know the best way to raise kids. And then I had them! ;)

I find drinking hot sauce for poor grades to be a punishment that does not fit the action of the child. I've had my mouth washed out with soap for cursing at an adult. That's an appropriate punishment for my actions. Having your child (age appropriately) study extra for their lessons is appropriate. Limiting TV, video games and extra activities so they can concentrate on school is appropriate. (all of this providing there is no barrier to achievement like disability, intelligence, talent, etc.) Hitting another child with a toy means the toy is taken away. Do I think she warrants having her kids taken away? No. And not jail time either. Could she do things better? Probably and so could I. Will sending her to jail accomplish that. Doubtfully. Will assisting her to be a better parent help her child? Absolutely! Of course, I have no clue how to help her be a better parent...

Krista - posted on 02/03/2011

Of course none of us are perfect, and we all find ourselves at the end of our rope at some point or another.

But there's a line. And force-feeding your child something that hurts them? That's the line. Forcing them into a cold shower and screaming at them while they shriek in agony? That's the line.

Not all abuse is broken bones and bruises. Sometimes abuse is degradation and terror.

My mom was very strict with me, and I had a pretty healthy fear of consequences, which (sometimes) kept me in line.

But she was never terrifying. She was never out of control. And she never did anything that physically hurt me.

Is this woman the worst child abuser to ever exist? No, she's not. Sadly, there are MUCH worse out there. But that still does not negate the fact that she was basically terrorizing that child.

Shauna - posted on 02/03/2011

Dr. Phill, a man who has said he doesnt even like his job, and doesnt give a crap about ppls feelings. Yeah. Dont really care what his opinion on anything is.
and this women never beat her child.
that women would have never been arrested around here, and the internet and ppl running there mouth putting their 2 cents in is what got her in jail.
And really? whoever said you think ppl adopt kids so they can abuse them. REALLY!"??
im sure all or most women that have children plan on being a certain kind of parent and find them selves not knowing what to do at some point or other.
Man all you women just must be perfect.
I did get beat when i was a child, my sister reported it, we both had bruises and nothing go done about it. It takes ALOT to get kids taken away from their parents, and this by far does not scream child abuser to me!!!! IMO

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

Julianne- Well said. I totally agree with you.

Stifler's - posted on 02/02/2011

yelling like a fucking maniac, cold shower, hot sauce. sick. wow your kid is bart simpson, get over it and discipline them properly.

Julianne - posted on 02/02/2011

some people are ok with the idea that children are our property and we can "do what we want" with them. They are not property, regardless if they were created of your own flesh and blood. They are people who have feelings and deserve the most respect. They are pure innocent little people who can do no wrong because they do not yet know the difference, and to hurt and injure them in that way is corrupting them. It will turn them into emotional train wrecks. Physical and psychological abuse comes out in plenty of different ways. It WILL effect them when they are older. They WILL develop some sort of complex. I hope this woman learns from what she done. So she can become a better person for it.

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

@ You People Suck Ass:

Nice name! ; )

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

I prefer to educate my children and work with them, not beat them into submission.

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

It makes me wonder about the people who think this is no big deal and thinks these things are even remotely acceptable. It makes me wonder (more like worry) about how they treat their children and what goes on behind closed doors. No child deserves physical OR emotional pain as a punishment. The only thing this teaches them is to live in fear and intimidation. It doesn't teach them to respect you, it teaches them to fear you and there is a big difference.

Sherri - posted on 02/02/2011

She is only getting arrested because it ended up on the internet and got huge press. Guaranteed if this had remained off the internet she never would have even been given a second glance. Well maybe a scolding for the cold water thing, but the hot saucing actually isn't against any laws and falls into the catagory of spankings.

Chatty - posted on 02/02/2011

It doesn't even register on your radar, Sherri? Shauna? Really? And she's being charged.....Dr. Phil tore her a new asshole, and it doesn't even register for you? Ummmm....

Johnny - posted on 02/02/2011

All she accomplished using the hot sauce was to exacerbate his fears. Which means it was just a complete fail. Discipline should result in the child learning how to improve, at least over time. All this showed him was that people are cruel. I am very glad that she reached out for help, even though it's sadly late. Hopefully she can get some help to learn how to manage is issues. It doesn't sound like the school is managing it all that well either, if the best they can do is a disciplinary card. Children with issues like his need an action plan, proactive approaches, and extra assistance.

Isobel - posted on 02/02/2011

it was NOT ABOUT GRADES! it was about hiding the fact that he received a disciplinary card at school (which means he was disciplined more than three times)...not that it matters...as a person who doesn't love hot sauce, I can tell you there is no difference to me whether you use one drop or gobs and gobs of it. I would be in tears with one drop.

Jodi - posted on 02/02/2011

I guess the one thing that really gets me is that the child was given this punishment for lying about something to do with a school report. Did he not do well? How old is this child? He looks to me to be at MOST Grade 1. Why is the first thing she does is discipline the child? At his age, it's all about the parenting and teaching, the child is the one that's supposed to be learning not being punished for not learning or understanding? I could probably understand disciplining a child a lot older this way but not the age of the child in the video.
And to Shauna, I'm not sure if your comment about not all children are angels was directed at me because I may have never had to discipline. I will have you know though that I have a 6 year old with a Global Developmental Delay , Speech and Language Impaired and ADD! Soo... I don't have an "angel" for a child and I've had to discipline but I still just plain don't agree with this type of discipline at this age!! You wanna hot sauce a teenager! Go to it!! But certainly not a young child and certainly not for the reasons in the video.

Concerned(AK) - posted on 02/02/2011

Why do people foster kids or adopt them if they r not capable of looking after them with love and tenderness ? It almost seems like they do it on purpose to abuse somebody...I have no respect for them whatsoever...

Liz - posted on 02/02/2011

I don't think by any means she should lose her kids over this or go to jail. She needs help and direction more then anything. It gets to me how ready so many people are to say someone shouldn't have their children when they have no idea how devastating it is to rip apart a family. Maybe something to think about.

All parents make mistakes and yes I have done the hot sauce thing, its a waste of energy with my kids. When I was a kid we got soap and I don't run around feeling "abused". Cold showers are harsh and I have resorted to that too but I don't have the heart to do it so I haven't again.

Sherri - posted on 02/02/2011

I agree Shauna, on my scale of the most horrible things that I have ever seen this just doesn't even register on my radar.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

I dont think the video is that horrible either. But i didnt see the whole thing, maybe there is more to the story. I think the women justs needs some re-direction. Some helpful feedback on what may work better than what her current approach is. I dont see a women who seems like she wants to abuse her kids, just a mother at wits end.

Jaime - posted on 02/02/2011

hot sauce forced into a kid's mouth as punishment and letting a kid eat spicy food is NOT THE SAME. that lawyer is an idiot. i REALLY hope he's only defending her with that bull shit because he's getting paid a hell of a lot.

hope she gets jail time and never sees her kids again. why on earth would you do that to a child? over a silly lie about their grades? why would you do that if they had bad grades?? what would ever constitute "hot-saucing" your child??

Sherri - posted on 02/02/2011

Just so you know if you know a tabasco/hot sauce bottle when you dump it upside down it only comes out a drop at a time. Sorry but yelling because the boy lied. Lying in this house is the ultimate of all offenses and most serious of them all. I did not hear her saying anything horrible to the boy other than wanting to know the reason why he lied and that there are consequences for lying. I just went and listened it again so no I don't have a problem with the yelling.

P.S. I just went and watched it again I do think that bottle of hot sauce was more than a drop or two and only because I think it was too much do I have a big problem with it. A drop or two fine more than that NOT okay.

Chatty - posted on 02/02/2011

Well, glad things have improved. If he's school aged then one could assume that he learned/heard those words or saw that type of behaviour from friends or television. HOPEFULLY, not from his mother or the company she's keeping.



Again, glad to hear things have improved.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

Dana-My oldest is my stepson. At the time when he was doing this, he was with us *my husband and me* for a week then with his mother for a week. on and off. When he was with his mother she pawned him off to friends, boyfriends, whoever would take him. I know this behavior was his acting out b/c of the instability. And when he came back to our house that had rules he would test us, b/c there was no rules at moms house.
I guess were the language came from is still a mystery b/c of course mom says it wasnt from her, and it wasnt from us. Besides the occasional "shit" or "damn" slipping out.
She since handed him over and we have him 75% of the time and hes great now. He knows there are rules at our house and most of all that we will follow through not just yell threats like his mom.

Chatty - posted on 02/02/2011

WOW, Shauna -- how old is your son and where did he hear that language/learn that behaviour in the first place? YIKES!

Sharon - posted on 02/02/2011

I'm not "ok" with it. It makes me uncomfortable.

I'm just saying I don't think its legally actionable. Do I think she needs help? yes. i think thats why she made this video. She doesn't like it either and is reaching out.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

Jodie: i did state i would never put globs of hot sauce like she did in a childs mouth.

And that i would never put a child in a cold shower.

The differance is as someone stated the women said she cant control her self. I can.

I dont start screaming and running after my kids saying oh here comes the hot sauce and pry there mouths open and pour it in.

They know the rules and i follow through with what i say would be the punishment calmy.

Jodi - posted on 02/02/2011

Shauna: I think it's pretty clear that the lady in the video didn't use a drop of hot sauce! I'm not saying that your a bad parent, but I'm am questioning that you think it is okay with some of what she did.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

And also, my son is soooo stubborn as well. You could ask him if he was chewing bubble gum and he would lie about it. Untill you have ran a mile in anothers shoes, dont be so judgemental. Not every child is an angel. And not every mother comes equiped with all the answers on how to handle situations. If somone was going to tell me they are going to take my son away b/c i put a drop of hot sauce on his mouth for telling me fuck off, your not the boss of me mommy, and telling my husband hes a motherfucker and doesnt have to listen to what he says. Thn god help this world. B/C if children like mine went undesciplined i bet the world would be wishing i did something about it when they were young.

Shauna - posted on 02/02/2011

Jodi- yeah i did state we used a drop of hotsauce as a punishment for swearing nonstop. Dont see it as a big deal, when time outs were not working, i dont do soap b/c its not meant to be edible, and i dont belive in spanking. Im not talking about the lady in question. ... im talking about my own experience,, and as i stated it dindt work... turns out my son loves hot sauce. No i dont see it as torture. and he knew if he cussed he was going to get hot sauce.
I think considering how my son spoke to us, we handled the situation pretty calmy, and i never yelled at my son.

What next time outs going to be considered torture too? Give me a break.

Sharon - posted on 02/02/2011

My oldest was SUPER stubborn. Nothing got through to him. His room was utterly devoid of toys, barring some sporting stuff. I had to make him study in the bathroom - after I took every single thing out of it, because he could NOT concentrate on his homework if there was one single thing to fuck with. I didn't lock him in there but it was the only room that is basically sound proof and I could clean out to the dregs that way. He liked spicy, liked sour, yelling had no effect and yes I yelled occasionally. that boy could push buttons with very little effort on his part.

We both went to doctors trying to figure out which one of us was wrong. We both were. He has adhd and I didn't know how to cope with it. I studied coping mechanisms and alternative punishments and adhd solutions without drugs. he's awesome now.

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

Jodi, me too. It's extremely painful to have the slightst amount of chile in my mouth and it makes my tongue raw, just from one bite of something I didn't know was hot. Yeah, total torture and there's no way to stop the pain quickly- it has to wear off. Horrible.