Waiting Periods for Remarriage after divorce?

Sara - posted on 03/02/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I just found out today that in Wisconsin, you have to wait 6 months after your divorce is finalized to remarry. Most states have no mandatory waiting period, but some do. What do you all think of this? Is it a good idea to impose a waiting period or not?

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Jodi - posted on 03/02/2010

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Here in Australia, you have to wait 12 months after formally separating before you can even file for a divorce :) We have a system where you can file orders about finances and the children once you separate, but you cannot file for divorce for a minimum of a year. So basically, it really is an imposed waiting period before being able to remarry.



Personally, even though it was a HUGE relief for me when I divorced, I actually waited almost 12 months before even dating again, let alone anything more serious than that!!! I didn't marry for 5 1/2 years after my separation.



After being with the same person for 12 years (7 of them married), I needed some time and space to get to know "ME" again. I needed to learn to be independent again, I needed to learn to be a single mum (although given my marriage, it wasn't that hard to lean that bit), and I really just wanted time to find the woman I had become. And I also wanted to focus on coming to an understanding of where *I* may have gone wrong in my marriage to make sure I didn't make the same mistakes again.



I think that rushing into another marriage is madness for ANYONE. But that is just my opinion.

Krista - posted on 03/02/2010

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I definitely think it's a good idea to wait a decent interval. I know some couples who got engaged before the guy's (or the girl's) divorce went through, and I find that kind of tacky -- especially if kids are involved. But should it be legislated? That's a tougher call. I'm not a fan of legislating morality.

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i think once its finalized then its fine to do what you want. when its not then i think you should wait to have it finalized, but once its done i cant see making someone wait. when we got married we got asked if we had been married or divorced as there was a wait, luckily neither one of us was divorced or married previously.

i can see where others are comming from as well when they say its good to wait. its better to get to know someone before jumping right into another marriage that may end in divorce, but again its a choice. it shouldnt be a law as you're an adult when you get married im sure we can all make the decision on when to remarry.

Jenny - posted on 04/03/2010

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If an adult wants to get married 100 times, or not at all, it is none of the government's business.

Jeannette - posted on 04/03/2010

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I don't think it should be a law. I don't think the govt is our best "moral" compass thank you very much...most of those guys have girlfriends and mistresses and can afford to keep both (thanks to us taxpayers) so why bother with the divorce?
I think it should be up to the individuals. I would hope that women would be strong/smart enough to want to wait, but the govt should not step in and be anyone's daddy.

Patricia - posted on 04/02/2010

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Whether it's a law or not, I believe all the way around it's a good idea to wait....why would anybody want to get a divorce, and than jump right into another relationship so fast? By waiting, it gives one time to get all their ducks in a row...I know so many people, who after the 6 months period got remarried and shortly after the newness wore off, had regrets. Too often I think people should take time for themselves before they enter into another marriage...it's okay to date, but at your own pace.

Jessica - posted on 04/01/2010

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I am currently awaiting divorce and have been for nearly a year. My marriage was a joke, my soon-to-be ex left our 12 month old son and I after only 2 months of marriage. Soon after our split, I met a wonderful man. We have been parteners now for 9 months and he raises my son as though he was his own (as my ex does not have a part in is life). I know that others would disagree, but I believe that my legal "marriage" to that man is only that. A piece of paper. He never fulfilled any of his vows and most definetly has not been one ounce of a husband. Looking back, Im grateful that things ended as early as they did. Had he never left, I would have never met the man that is truly meant to be my husband and the father of my children.

My current date for divorce is June 25,2010. And Im not lying when I say we are counting down the seconds :). We plan to marry this fall, but are not "engaged" and have not made ANY wedding plans. As we both agree with Krista, despite my joke of a marriage, it would still be very tacky. I have, in my lifetime, seen many friends and family jump from one marriage to another, some succeed and others end in divorce. The fact of the matter is, whether there is legislation or not, some people will continue to make horrible choices. And some (like myself) will actually, really meet the right one. And why should the state of Ohio get to decide when we can walk down the aisle, have more children, and enjoy the rest of our lives together? I understand that some people would critisize me for my choices and thats okay with me. Because at the end of the day, when I lay my head down, I am at peace with where I am in life. :)

Esther - posted on 03/03/2010

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I think it's a good idea not to marry someone right after you get a divorce but I'm not sure I find that it's something that should be legislated. There are a lot of dumb things people do that they are legally free to do. Running of to Vegas with someone you met in a bar the week before for example. But we don't stop people from doing that either.

La - posted on 03/03/2010

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I agree with Sharon...if you are in a good relationship that you intend to stick with, then 6 months of waiting won't matter in the long run.

Mary - posted on 03/03/2010

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I think it really depends on the situation, and the length of time it actually takes to get divorced. In Maryland, you must be living apart for a full year before you can actually file for divorce, and then, it is roughly one to three months before all of the necessary court filings and paperwork are completed before you are LEGALLY divorced.



My ex and I made the decision to split in early February of 2006 (we were fairly amicable, and had no children). He moved March 1st, 2006. We didn't really initiate a whole lot of legal; stuff until probably June of that year, and our house went on the market in October of 2006. Perhaps we were lazy, but it seemed like such a hassle to completely divide up all of our finances and items until the house was sold. As I said, we were pretty amicable...I lived in the house, but he continued to maintain the yard while the house was on the market, and alot of his stuff remained in the house. He was renting a studio apartment, and waiting until after the house sold to buy something else.



We were not finally and legally divorced until September of 2007...this was 19 months after we first separated. Not sure if a 6 month waiting period would have been necessary or beneficial.

Sharon - posted on 03/02/2010

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I think its sad the government has to step in.

But if you're really in love - 6 months won't matter.

If the relationship doesn't last 6 months, lol it doesn't matter.

[deleted account]

I think they should, but if the marriage was a sham of one anyways and they weren't really together and they have proof (seperate addresses etc) then they should b the exception. I think we should all give ourselves time to get over the trauma of a breakup...soo many thing one should learn from such an experience that bed hopping would hinder

JL - posted on 03/02/2010

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I think it's a good idea to wait and have some grace period before someone can remarry. I wonder if statistically the states that have those waiting periods have less cases of multiple divorces.

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