Wearing a White Wedding Dress.

Mrs. - posted on 01/07/2011 ( 61 moms have responded )

1,767

6

30

Some of you might have gathered I'm getting married this year. Now, I've already had a kid and this will be my fiance's second marriage.

I was watching some cheesy entertainment show and they were showing pics of Valerie Bertanelli's wedding dress. It was a sort of periwinkle blue colour. They had a poll of some sort and a ton of people were saying that, no matter what, a woman should always wear a traditional wedding gown that is some shade of white.

Now, I never planned to get married so just getting me in a dress period for this thing is a stretch (not that I don't own dresses, I'm just uber anti-bride). I'm in the process of finding my wedding dress which will most likely be, a vintage cocktail dress and not white (I don't look good in white, I look fat and frankly, I'm no virgin).

Do any of you agree with the entertainment poll, do you think a woman should always wear white on her wedding day? What about those who insist on wearing white but have popped out kids, is that tacky? What up ladies?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Meghan - posted on 01/07/2011

3,169

33

202

White actually hasn't always been the color of purity and all that stuff. Blue is the color of the Virgin Mary, and is associated with girls who have similar pure qualities. In addition, it is the color of water and the sea, with all the symbolic references already discussed for that element - that is, blue usually indicates femininity, life, purity, etc., just as water does.
It 1840 Queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress...but not to symbolize purity. Her intentions were to show her people that she could run the country in an economical way-white is cheaper than blue die.
So there you go :)

[deleted account]

I think a woman should wear whatever color and style of dress she likes on her wedding day...first marriage or not....virgin or not. It's about the bride and groom and if they want to wear pink and blue bunny costumes down the aisle..hey, more power to them :)



Edited to add: My marriage to my husband was my second. I never had a wedding with my first husband, just a justice of the peace "ceremony". When I married my current husband, I wanted a wedding, but I wanted it to be "me" and I am not very traditional at all. My dress was cream colored (because my skin is so pale that WHITE white makes me look ill) and it was trimmed with claret (a shade of red). And they're lucky I wore shoes lol

[deleted account]

Bah, I prefer ivory as opposed to white. White is so stark and cold to me unless it's got another color to go with it. Had I had my dream wedding, I would have gone with either an ivory lace dress or a white dress with baby blue detailing to match my hubby's eyes. But instead I had a very small wedding, with a white shirt and skirt that cost $20 altogether.

I could care less about the tackiness of a mother getting married in white. I see nothing wrong with it if she wants to do that. If she wants a white dress, so be it, no one else should have any say in it. Besides, the only reason bridal dresses are white is because some queen way back when (too lazy to actually look it up) wanted to represent the people and used white fabric, the cheap stuff, for her wedding gown. Before that, wedding gowns were all different colors. It was just the best dress you had or could afford.

[deleted account]

Congratulations.

It's your wedding wear what you want, regardless of what anybody else thinks because when you look back you want to think wow I loved my wedding dress not I wish I'd worn...dress instead!

I am the only person I know who hasn't worn white for their wedding - although to be fair I only know 4 people (including me) who have gotten married in the last 5 years (I was advanced for my mates). My dress was a champagne colour because it drew out my natural colouring better than the white dress I tried (although the white did look good) - my dress was the first one I tried on and I fell in love (once I was told they could alter it to add straps, I don't do strapless :-) ).

The only thing I will say to watch out for is do NOT have a dress with beading on the body that goes round under the arms (near your armpits) because I did and although it looked beautiful I had cut arms for weeks - they were really sore at the end of the night :-)

Laura - posted on 01/08/2011

698

59

56

You should wear whatever style and color you like. It is your wedding after all.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

61 Comments

View replies by

Sara - posted on 09/06/2012

21

0

1

From my understanding the white wedding dress originated not as a reflection of your virginity, but a symbol of social and economic status. Queen Victoria made it popular, prior to Vicky the preferred gown color was black. Blue was actually the color which symbolized purity (I am guessing this has something to do with the Virgin Mary).



Anyhow, any color will do as far as I am concerned! Go for it. White may be the long standing western tradition, but I say disturb the status quo!



FYI, if you are looking for a traditional connection I know that black wedding gowns were popular in Scandinavia, Red (as many know) in eastern traditions, plus there are various other cultures and traditions having to do with how the garment was made (by whom) and color and accessory symbolism that is really interesting.

Erica - posted on 01/11/2011

48

7

0

I guess that would totally be up to the people getting married, for example, I got married in a white dress...I didn't have kids at the time, but I wasn't a virgin either and my cousins wedding, they married on Halloween night, she wore a beautiful red dress and I think he wore a black suit with red liner, but I'm not sure- the pictures were great though :)

Vegemite - posted on 01/11/2011

916

0

15

meh it's your wedding wear a tracksuite if it'll make you and your husband happy. I wore a white dress with crystal beading and had 7, yes 7, layers including a hoop taken out of it before it was to my taste and it still had 2 layers of that tule stuff underneath it.

C. - posted on 01/10/2011

4,125

35

238

I was about 8 months pregnant or so when I got married. I wore a white dress with silver accents. We had searched for a few days (couldn't start much earlier than that since I was working long hours and overly exhausted, so my mom and I waited to start looking). I didn't want white b/c I was pregnant and felt weird, but that's all we could find with the stomach big enough to fit my 8m preggo belly (it was a maternity dress).

What should you wear? Whatever makes you feel comfortable and YOU. Don't wear something that doesn't represent who you are, otherwise it probably won't feel like it's your wedding. Congratulations, BTW.

Johnny - posted on 01/10/2011

8,686

26

318

I wore pink knee high lace up boots with 10 inch clear lucite platforms. I needed to make up for the height difference between my hubby and I so that we'd show up in the same picture for the close-ups. My grandmother told me they looked like prostitute shoes...."how do you know Grans?"

Sherri - posted on 01/10/2011

9,593

15

387

Gosh I never would have gotten married if I couldn't wear heals. However, I wear heals just because even now that I am a SAHM at least 3 days a week.

Nikkole - posted on 01/10/2011

1,505

31

49

lol wearing a corset sucks period mine was so tight i could barely sit down i just wore flip flops because im clumsy and fall when i wear heals and i had to go up stairs to my husband during the wedding lol

Bonnie - posted on 01/10/2011

4,813

22

257

Gosh I should have worn flip flops or slippers for that matter and a looser fitting dress. Wearing a corset sucks when you are pregnant! I feel like getting married again, just so I can do it right this time hahaha j/k

Stifler's - posted on 01/10/2011

15,141

154

597

i wore random shoes that didn't match. i wanted purple shoes. i didn't wear shoes at the reception bahaha

Natasha - posted on 01/10/2011

153

35

9

When I was shopping for my wedding dress I tried on white, ivory, pink, gold, silver and even a purple dress. I totally thought that I wa going to get a white dress, maybe a sash in pink or something like that, but totally thought that it would be white. Then I found "my dress", it was so beautiful and champagne colored. I even asked my husband if he would be mad if my dress wasn't white. He didn't care.

As for your question about women wearing white after having kids, I don't think it's tacky. Some women really like the idea of a white dress, and that's great for them. I don't think that the white dress is all about being a virgin or pure. I think that it is a tradition that some people like to carry on. I say to eah thier own.

Jane - posted on 01/10/2011

1,041

5

69

I think there is nothing wrong with wearing white if you've been married a million times, have 100 kids and have slept with 1000 men. I also think that wearing an off white or some sort of color, long or short, traditional or not, vintage or completely out there is awesome too.

I could give a rats ass what the entertainment poll states and I think a woman should wear whatever the hell she wants to wear considering it's HER wedding day :)

I love the idea of a vintage cocktail dress that's not white. I've always loved that type of dress. This one is sold but it's on the lines of something that I think it's just beautiful. This site has all KINDS of beautiful vintage clothing. Check it out....http://www.vintageous.com/v6094.htm

Dani - posted on 01/09/2011

21

48

1

For me I've always wanted to have a coloured dress white just isn't my thing! I'd love a bright red wedding dress, I say wear what you like and what suits you :)

Sherri - posted on 01/09/2011

9,593

15

387

Yes I am old fashioned I do think white for a bride. I don't care I wore white and I already had a child?? To me white doesn't mean virgin.

Stifler's - posted on 01/09/2011

15,141

154

597

i wore a veil, it was fun and looked awesome in pictures! it was only $150 from the designer that did my dress.

Lady Heather - posted on 01/09/2011

2,448

17

91

A woman should wear whatever the hell she pleases on her wedding day, regardless of children or virginity or what marriage you're on or whatever. Wear what makes you feel beautiful and you can't go wrong!

Kimberly - posted on 01/09/2011

705

59

32

It's your wedding and your day. Do whatever makes you feel beautiful. Best Wishes!

[deleted account]

There are plenty of ways to wear a white wedding dress if you aren't a virgin and still go by old fashioned traditions for instance when I get married I won't be wearing a veil and my hair will be down as opposed to the atypical up-do. The husband lifting his wifes veil to kiss her is symbolic of the whole bye bye virginity thing so I think people get a little too hung up on the white dress thing. Plenty of people don't wear white dresses by choice and though I don't think it looks quite right it doesn't matter, it's the bride and grooms wedding day they can do what they want. When it comes to me I'll be wearing white but I will also have my son walk me down the isle and give me away, lol why because its my wedding and thats the way I want it!

Rosie - posted on 01/09/2011

8,657

30

315

i think alot of you may not know how AWESOME a white wedding dress looks on you, lol! i look horrid and fat in white everything else, but by god i was a fucking princess rockstar, model all rolled into one when i wore my white wedding dress!! LMAO!

Krista - posted on 01/09/2011

12,562

16

842

I believe that if you aren't a virgin on your wedding day then don't wear white and don't wear a veil

Good thing most people don't feel that way, or the veil manufacturing industry would go bankrupt. :P

Emma - posted on 01/09/2011

1,590

15

111

I got married in jeans and a t shirt, in home affairs, with borrowed witnesses.
So as you might gather not a traditionalist.
Where what you want to, its your day end of story.

Bonnie - posted on 01/09/2011

4,813

22

257

I have been to a wedding where the bride didn't wear white. I wasn't a virgin and I really don't care. I loved my dress and looked great in it and that was all that mattered to me. I didn't wear a veil though. Those things are too darn expensive and didn't care for it anyway.



I meant I haven't been to a wedding where the bride didn't wear white.

Nelly - posted on 01/09/2011

274

2

17

I believe that if you aren't a virgin on your wedding day then don't wear white and don't wear a veil, orange blossoms symbolizes purity

Stifler's - posted on 01/08/2011

15,141

154

597

NO! I don't know anyone who has except back in teh day. Not wearing white is a trend now, I think because it's been established that white doesn't suit very many people. A lot of girls wear ivory now. I wore pearl and I wish I'd worn oyster or champagne because those colours are beautiful!!

Bonnie - posted on 01/08/2011

4,813

22

257

You have to wear what makes you feel beautiful, not just on the outside, but on the inside. It is your special day. I wore white and I was 4.5 months pregnant at the time. I didn't care. I loved my dress. I ended up getting the first one I tried on, it felt like it was meant to be. Congratulations!

Tina - posted on 01/08/2011

7

25

0

I would say wear whatever color you want this is your big day! People use to only wear white because it was a sign of purity but the customs have changed quite a bit now. Congratulations!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/08/2011

18,914

9

3002

Are you looking for a close alternative to white? Like champagen or off white? Or do you want to go completely different? It is your wedding, and I don;t think you need to be a virgin to wear white.I think you should atleast try on some white ones to completely rule it out....then go from there. I didnt think I wanted a white one until I tried one on...them I loved it!

Becky - posted on 01/08/2011

2,892

44

92

I wore white - well, it may not have been pure, bright white -with gold beading on it. I loved my dress. But I'm fairly traditional in that way and I wanted the princess dress. :) But I think you should wear whatever type of dress in whatever color you want. I have seen some red ones that are really gorgeous.
I'll tell you though, when I was wedding dress shopping with my sister, years ago, there was this girl trying on this poofy, sparkly cotton-candy pink wedding dress. The thing was hideous! She looked like she was trying to be the sugar plum fairy or something. So don't wear cotton-candy pink, lol!

Rosie - posted on 01/08/2011

8,657

30

315

i personally would always wear some type of white dress, it could have color of some sort on it, but always having the white.
i think it looks somewhat tacky to get married in black or really any other color-if it's your first marriage. but it's a good thing it's not MY wedding and you can do what ever YOUR little heart desires!!! :)

Shauna - posted on 01/08/2011

1,015

19

33

I think its up to you. My wedding dress was White and Black. and i made the guys wear hot pink :) and girls Black. ............... ITS YOUR WEDDING. Ivory is becomming really popular and doesnt have anything to do if your a virgin or not.

LaCi - posted on 01/08/2011

3,361

3

171

You know what, if anyone tells you you need to wear a "traditional" wedding dress and means white, smack them upside their head.

White wedding dresses are a relatively new phenomenon, before the victorian era COLOR was key, color showed status.

Jenn - posted on 01/08/2011

2,683

36

93

My Mum wore a blue wedding dress the first time around, and a white one with fuchsia accents the second time around. I think it's entirely up to the bride to wear what she wants - it's her wedding after all.

Krista - posted on 01/08/2011

12,562

16

842

I think a bride should wear whatever colour makes her feel most beautiful. So if that's white, blue, red, orange, or what-have-you, then so be it. Here's a blog post I found showing brides wearing all sorts of coloured wedding dresses, and I think they look stunning (I drooled over that orange dress, actually.) http://manolobrides.com/2010/02/27/the-b...

Jodi - posted on 01/08/2011

2,694

52

168

I wore a traditional white dress, because it was important to my husband. We forked over a grand for that thing and I ruined (and I mean RUINED it playing volleyball, horseshoes and other games! So worth it, although my daughter will never be able to wear it. If I could go back I would get the dress I liked, it was this absolutely gorgeous chocolate brown satin dress (wasn't wedding, wasn't cocktail, maybe prom-ish?) with beautiful aqua blue trim and accents also in satin. I look so beautiful in natural earthy tones like browns and blues, thinking about it makes me want to go out and find that dress and buy it just to have it and wear grocery shopping! ;)

Wear what you want and what makes YOU feel good!

Desiree - posted on 01/08/2011

910

17

12

White wedding dresses were made fashionable by Queen Victoria, before that the ladies married in their best dressed there is even a little Rhyme to go with it.



"Married in White you have Chosen alright,

Married in blue he'll always be true,

Married in Black you'll wish yourself back.

Married in Pink your heart will sink,

Married in red wish yourself dead,

Married in yellow ashamed of your fellow

Married in green ashamed to be seen

Married in Brown you'll always be down."



This rhyme was written a number of centuries ago and doesn't pertain to today. I just thought I would share something fun with you.



I personally married in Ivory, If you don't want to wear white don't.

The ancient Roman wore yellow as a sign of purity and the Chineese wear red. And if you think having a baby before marriage is not the "right" thing, guess what in the middle ages men got their fiances pregnant before marriage so that they were assured that she could conceive and have an heir.



Good luck to you in what ever you want to wear make sure its comfortable even if you wear a really good pant suit. As long as you are happy who cares what the rest of the world thinks. Here is wishing you all the best for your future.

Kylie - posted on 01/08/2011

2,391

81

190

I was 5 months preggas on my wedding day and I wore ivory and a veil just because white didn't feel right to me.

Jennifer - posted on 01/07/2011

1,501

37

229

i've always thought that a white wedding dress signified virginity and i didn't feel like being a liar on my wedding day so my wedding dress was a black lacy number :-P



wear what you like and makes you feel gorgeous.

Nicole - posted on 01/07/2011

736

6

68

On a woman's wedding day she is queen of the whole universe and can wear what she pleases!

[deleted account]

That's true, about red. I was referencing symbols from my culture; She didn't say where she was from. I would not think ill of someone wearing red or black to a wedding at all. It's just that in my culture we pay so much attention to color symbols that it is so deeply ingrained in me that I notice the symbolic meaning of a color at the same moment I notice the color someone's shirt :P I sometimes forget that most people do not see symbols in colors the way we do.



Thus the colors I liked...Sage (growth and wisdom--two things I wanted in my marriage) and Lavender (Cherished). Ivory (Peace, as in "no conflict") Still say, any color is good, I just liked having some symbolism in my dress :)

Jocelyn - posted on 01/07/2011

5,165

42

274

Pfft, my dress was ivory and black. Pure white looks hideous on me. I think you should wear whatever colour you want!

Kate CP - posted on 01/07/2011

8,942

36

754

Mine was deep ivory and cost $250 and was hand made. I love my dress and it would warm my heart if my daughter wore it some day. But...color doesn't really matter. Some women just look awful in white (I'm one of them) and some just don't like stark white. If you want a purple dress wear purple! The tradition of white wedding dresses started with, you guessed it, Queen Victoria. Her style of dress has also continued to be reflected in modern wedding gown styles throughout the past century (big, poofy, and a long train). If you like the Victorian look, go for it. Otherwise do what you want! It is, after all, YOUR wedding. ;)

Jenny - posted on 01/07/2011

4,426

16

126

I went wedding dress shopping with a friend over the holidays. The red dresses were beautiful.

Joanna - posted on 01/07/2011

2,096

19

134

The dress I wanted was white with a black corset, but it was $5,000. I ended up wearing a $60 white cocktail dress (it was a Vegas wedding). But I think you should get the dress you feel most gorgeous in, regardless of color.

Erin - posted on 01/07/2011

6,569

25

232

I would not wear a white dress. I would not wear a tradition wedding dress. But it's all personal preference. If someone with 5 kids wants to wear white, that's her perogative. I don't think it's tacky. I just don't like white! lol

Sal - posted on 01/07/2011

1,816

16

33

colour isn;t important, get a dress you love, wear it and love it, i did wear white, but came close to wearing dark purple, i tried the same dress in red, emerald green, back and the purple and if the shop hadn't had the exact dress in white i would of, my dress was the last one bought 3 days before the wedding so going purple instead of white, silver or sage green that i had been hoping for would of been a bit of a colour clash but it was hubby's have colour so that would of been the next choice..

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms