Were you told you couldn't get pregnant?

Merry - posted on 03/07/2011 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I'm seeing a bunch of ladies over in 'mens rights' thread who were told by drs that they couldn't conceive naturally. And then they did!
Are doctors really that informed or incompetent as to womens reproduction that they can't tell a woman who can't concive from a woman who just isn't going to conceive easily?
Do you think doctors should be more cautious with telling a woman she can't conceive?
I bet most babies conceived after a diagnosis like this are considered miracles, but do you think some women would be majorly pissed off to find out they are pregnant, maybe by a one night stand because they thought they couldn't conceive....
Anyone want to share their story?

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Rachel - posted on 03/08/2011

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i have PCOS and was told i'd be lucky to get pregnant and almost definatly not carry to term since i miscarried at 17 and the doctors thought i had endometriosis at 15. i have been through a ton of tests, been diagnosed with countless things and i as still always so sick and in so much pain. Doctors solution- go on disability and dont expect to have kids! I couldnt believe it and after being depressed by the news (or false diagnosis as i now call it!) I decided one day to stop filling my 8 prescriptions an just seewhat happens...
I was shocked to actually feel better!! i got a period again and although they were far from regular and i wasnt 100% better, i was the best i had been in years! Doctors really should bemore careful when telling woman their right as a human (to mother a child!) isnt possible!! It hurt me more than anything i could've imagined and i still struggle with infertility today.
After meeting my now fiance (the next partner i had aftr the onw whom i iscarried with) i told him everything and ask him to be prepared not to have children, as i knew this was his right to know and only fair. He never believed i couldnt have kids. he always said that the doctors dont know what they are talking about! :P Well we decided not to use protection while i was in college ad i assumed nothing would happen and thought nothing of it when i didnt get a perid during the summer or 2008. after 5 weeks of no period, h said he thought i was pregnant and i just told him it was normal for me not to get one and not to get his hopes up :S I waited a week and was at a hospital for another reason when they told us we were 6 weeks along!! i was in shock- over joyed and hopefuly but i had to stay realistic. We hadnt layed out a plan since i truly didnt think it could happen for us! but he was convinced and said i would be an amazing mother (which always made me kidna sad since i didnt think i would ever be lucky enough to be one!)
So we made it through a rough pregnancy and now have an almost 2 yr old beautiful girl :) We tried since she was 9 months to conceive and got pregnant when she was 11 months but lost the baby. I assumed my *miracle baby* was going to be my only one, but for all of you hopefuls out there--we tried again and again and after 2 miscarriages (one very early 5 weeks and the other at 7.5 weeks) we are happily 37 weeks along today with a halthy baby boy! we defied the odds the doctors gave us and the same day i found out i was having a boy, they told me my dermoid cysts (the on they believed to be maligmant) was getting larger, they told me they may do a hysterectomy after i give birth!!! i say NO WAY at this point sicne when have they been right about anything?! (and im talking about 3 hospitals, specialty clinics, ob-gyns, etc etc) So ive got my boy and my girl, im not planning on another baby since it was hard to handle miscarriages etc but if we had another one we'd be over joyed!!
remember ladies- doctors guess but they never truly seem to know anything! take my story for example- anything is possible so dont give up hope but be prepared for a long hard road :)

Jamaica - posted on 02/15/2012

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I was told from an early adolescence, from several doctors, that I couldn't get pregnant because I didn't have periods on my own due to an eating disorder.I met someone and we didn't take precautions. One day I saw some spotting, but didn't think anything of it. Next thing I know, I was pregnant. In 4 years I have been pregnant three times. The second time, we had an accident one time, and that was it. The third, I was breastfeeding and had no period, plus he didn't ejaculate inside of me, still got pregnant. I think that all my kids are gifts and love them all. However, I wish doctors would be more careful about what they say to young women. After a four year marriage and three pregnancies, I left the father of my children because he always put himself first. I wish i would of had children with someone else. I would of never got pregnant if I knew that I could so easily.

Becky - posted on 03/08/2011

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I wasn't told I couldn't have kids, but I was told it could be very difficult or impossible for me to conceive because I have PCOS. So, my husband and I started trying - or at least stopped preventing - as soon as we got married, because we thought it would take a couple years, if it happened at all. Imagine our surprise when I got a positive test 5 weeks into our marriage! I got pregnant very easily the second time around as well. This time it's taking a little longer, so we'll see.
I wouldn't trade Cole for the world, but if I'd known I'd be fertile Myrtle, I think we would've waited at least a few months to start trying. Adjusting to marriage (because we didn't live together prior) while being miserably sick and hormonal is not an easy combination!

Johnny - posted on 03/08/2011

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I was told that it was highly unlikely that I would be able to conceive with my endometriosis and because of my "advanced years" (that would be 31 at the time, lol). That was Aug 28 and we believe I conceived on Oct 31 of the same year. We'd only started trying in mid-October because we'd given my body time to cleanse out the birth control I'd been using and any alcohol or pot in my system or my hubby's. They're still telling me it's unlikely I'll ever have another, but I figure I'll just dress up like a geisha for Halloween again and that should do the trick. If not, at least I was blessed with one.

Two of my girlfriends are struggling with unexplained secondary infertility right now. They both easily conceived their first, they and their partners have no diagnosable issues and they've both been on clomid for a while. One of them is on her first round of IVF now. I don't think that the medical community knows as much about conception and physiology as they like to tell us that they do. Doctors are told to project confidence, so some take that to mean that you need to have a firm answer for everything. I'm always wary of doctors who seem to be able to answer every question with a total confidence. I prefer my physician who will tell me if he's not sure about something or if there is no way to know at this time.

Mrs. - posted on 03/07/2011

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I was told that. They told me I could never do it naturally. They said (several docs) that I might have a chance doing fertility treatments and the like. I had unprotected sex for years with my ex...nothing. The first time I had sex with my fiance - I got pregnant. And yeah, at first I was a bit pissed off...but then I was grateful.

My issues were the endo, one of my ovaries not functioning anymore and all the surgeries.

All I can say is, no matter what a doc might suggest, it's like Jurassic Park when some people get together - life finds a way.

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Jennifer - posted on 02/16/2012

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I was told I would not be able to carry another baby to term. I was mad because I could get pregnant, but they didn't want to tie my tubes! I'm glad they didn't now(at least most days!) and my youngest is very healthy!





My Grandmothers neighbor was told she would never have kids, so they spent 5 years waiting to adopt a newborn. They finally got a call, and got the little girl of their dreams. A week later, another little boy came, and they jumped at the chance to complete their family. Of course, struggling with two babies made her tired, and she felt sick, but didn't really worry at first. It was four months later she found out she was nearly 6 months along! There was talk it may be twins! Lol, it wasn't, but her face would turn so white if it was mentioned. She ended up with 3 babies, less than 8 months apart...........The youngest was one year behind the other two, and will graduate HS in May.

Jenni - posted on 02/16/2012

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I think doctors should inform patients that there is of course, always a small chance. Nothing is 100% in the medical world, with the exception I imagine for a few conditions. I'm not implying doctors don't, I have no clue. It's also possible that once you hear such devastating news (for some women) you may be in a state of shock and unable to absorb the rest of the information the doctor is telling you.



And yes, I imagine some women would be pissed. It goes both ways too. I've heard about plenty of men who were told they couldn't have children and then their partner/one night stand/what have you becomes pregnant by them. I've heard stories of relationships ending over this, to later discover the child is in fact theirs. For some people this would be a godsend. For others, depending on their situation... not so much.

Stifler's - posted on 02/16/2012

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Men's rights? What rights do they not have???



I don't have any problems like that but my friend had a few miscarriages (ectopic pregnancies), was told she couldn't have kids, and then got pregnant and carried to term! she has had 2 miscarriages since. So I think they really did get a miracle baby.

Becky - posted on 03/08/2011

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Rachel, my story is kind of similar to yours. I told my husband the first night that we started dating that I might not be able to have kids. I wanted to give him an out, because I knew he wanted them. His response was, "Well, we'll have fun trying, and if we can't, we'll adopt." I think I knew then that he was the one. The crazy thing was, when we started dating, it had been a year and a half since I'd had a period at all. A month after we started dating, my period came back all on its own, without me doing anything about it. I thought I was going to die that first month, the cramps were sooooo bad! Anyways, it took a few months to get back on track, but by the time we got married, I was regular. So I guess I shouldn't have been that shocked to get pregnant, but I'd been steeling myself for years to accept the fact that I might not be able to have kids, so it took a while for it to really hit me that I was actually going to get to be a mom.

Johnny - posted on 03/08/2011

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My elementary school crush was like that. He was born in February and adopted at birth. His parents were already pregnant with his sister who was born in August but followed through with the adoption anyway. They'd waited a couple years to adopt before that.

[deleted account]

Kind of a cool story about my parents' friends...

They were having trouble getting pregnant. I mean, they tried for years. Spent tens of thousands on fertility treatments. They finally decided to adopt. Three months after adopted, she discovered she was pregnant! They weren't even "trying". They now have two pre-teen sons born almost exactly a year apart...the older adopted, the younger biological.

April - posted on 03/08/2011

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true story!! i should have left right then. i've mentioned on other threads that she basically laughed at me when I told her I wanted to write a birth plan. She said it was gross and disgusting when I asked about having a water birth in the hospital. She also said she never lets Moms go past their due date because then the babies get too big. She induced me a week before my due date. I ended up with a c-section basically for convenience, DOB Dec. 22. Looking back, not figuring out I was pregnant was the FIRST red flag. Again, I should have left right then! I trusted a doctor that didn't even suspect pregnancy, didn't even ask me if that was a possibility. Why couldn't she have looked, just in case??? HE (my son, actually my little egg sac thingy) was right there! :(

Merry - posted on 03/08/2011

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I bet your ob sure felt stupid! Man, you think we can trust their word as law but........

April - posted on 03/08/2011

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LOL. Boy you are going to laugh when you hear my story. I went to the OB because I was having some unbearable pain in the area of my ovaries. They did a scan and said my ovaries were covered in cysts. Of course, I asked about TTC and the FNP said I'd need help (fertility treatments). She scheduled me a follow up appointment to check things out and to do some X rays. A couple days later, I decided to take a home pregnancy test. I wasn't concerned because I am usually a week late every month, but my husband was nervous so I took it for him. It was a positive test!! I called the OB office and said I can't have the Xrays done because I'm pregnant! I kept my original appointment and had an ultrasound done instead. The ultrasound showed I was 6 weeks along!! This means that when I had the first OB appointment to check out my ovaries I WAS ALREADY 5 WEEKS PREGNANT!!

Merry - posted on 03/08/2011

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Maybe the doctors say you can't get pregnant naturally so you will go spend your money on fertility treatments!
It's all about the money right?!

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2011

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I was told as a teenager I couldnt have children due to an accident that left me pretty scared up, that being said I still used condoms! To protect from STDS, what the hell is wrong with men and woman having unprotected sex with one night stands??

My hubby and I are starting to have sex talks with our older children last night (as the 13 year old went on birth control yesterday due to heavy periods and symptoms of endor). I asked him what he will tell our son about condoms, he said bluntly, never believe a woman when she says shes on Birth Control, or that a doctor said she couldnt convice, to ALWAYS use a condom, and then he stopped and says you best make sure you tell Joyce, that even if shes starting possible Endro like the rest of the females in her family, that she is just like her mother and even endro, or accidents cant stop you from getting preggos, so she can get pregnant if a guy sneezes near her LOL.

Mel - posted on 03/08/2011

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They should be more careful what they say I know many people in the same sitaution. Got told they couldnt have kids then had a baby by 19 or 20. She was less then impressed about the pregnancy but lucky she had her car house and was engaged. I know someone else who was told she couldnt have anymore after the first and 7 yrs later went on to have another 5 children. They do throw it out there alot. I got told my muscles were "tight" apparently making it hard to conceive and another doctor said they were but this would changed after I had a baby which it didnt I got told by anotehr my cervix is high up, then y a gyno that it wasnt and they didnt know why the doctor had said that and that I should have no problems conceiving :S I still dont know who's right the doctor or the gyno but it took me 2 years for first baby and 13 months for the seconde. We never used contraceptives as we didnt think it was likely to happen

Mrs. - posted on 03/07/2011

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I wonder sometimes if they say it just to cover their asses? I don't know. Either that or they just don't know and always say the worst case scenario.

Sharon - posted on 03/07/2011

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heehee Thanks Teresa - it was an interesting time. turkish hospitals are interesting too. they don't usually spend that kind of money or effort on a girl so I was um quite the specimen on the wards. Not to mention that I was a quite a bit taller than most turks so I didn't fit on the beds (I'm only 5'7" and was probably 5'6" back then.

Sharon - posted on 03/07/2011

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Yeah I was told I couldn't have kids.

I was showing a horse for sale and putting him over some jumps. Things went wrong, I flipped over his head, he flipped over the jump and landed on me. The same type of accident killed a texas senator/governor a month before.

It broke both of my legs, crushed my pelvis, dislocated my hip, shoulder etc. I was in the hospital for over a year.

I was in a turkish hospital for 3 weeks and 1. they used morphine, ALOT, they gave me a shot rather frequently and ALWAYS in the same spot. 2. they never changed or cleaned my catheter - I wound up with a couple of raging infections

At the end of it all - after ultrasounds, x-rays and internal exams they said I would need surgical help and maybe more in order to conceive and carry a baby. It wasn't just one doctor - it was 5 different doctors.

Medic - posted on 03/07/2011

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The funny thing about both of my kids(the ones I apparently should never have had) both of them I concieved while on BC one of which I was on antibiotics (opps...no one told me when I was 20!!) and the second one was just a BC failure. I am in love with both of them and they just happened to be perfectly spaced.

[deleted account]

I've heard plenty of men use that excuse and a few women "doc said I can't have kids" and they all have kids what do ya know. I think for any woman who was told she couldn't conceive she would view it as a miracle if she did I mean maybe I'm just stubborn but if someone told me I couldn't do something my first reaction would be to want to lol. As for doctors and their opinions I mean that is what they have, they have been trained to speculate and form opinions just because my doctor said something couldn't happen I wouldn't take that as a without a doubt impossability. No matter what if you don't want kids then take preventative measures, thats my opinion anyway.

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Without ever doing any tests, my first gyno told me I would *probably* have issues conceiving simply because my mom has problems (irregular cycles) and my sister had two miscarriages before she had her daughter. I thought that was a bit ridiculous of him to say, especially since my grandma (maternal) was very fertile - she even got pregnant after having her tubes tied!

I think these days doctors are way too quick with the "you will probably not have kids based on _______" card and it really bugs me. If I had listened to my doc I would probably have WAY more kids today (I got pregnant 3 times - all while taking bc correctly 100% of the time - dumb doc... lol).

I actually know women who have used various excuses for not taking bc (including "my doc said I couldn't get pregnant, so I don't need to take precaustions" or - my personal fav because I feel this is what's wrong with society today - "I've had 3 abortions and I heard the chance of getting pregnant after 3 or more abortions os nil to none" ummm... does the phrase "3 OR MORE" say anything to these women? dumbasses...). None of these women are my friends (I just know them through other people) and all of them have used these excuses to trap men into relationships with them by getting pregnant and then telling the men it's a miracle and God must want them to be together (::sigh:: again, dumbasses).

I also know a few people who really truly do have conditions that mkae it near impossible to get pregnant. I think the women who use the "the doc said I couldn't so unprotected sex is okay" card are actually doing a disservice to women who really are struggling with contraception...

Medic - posted on 03/07/2011

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I was told that I would most likely never have my own kids, and I was told that as a teen due to the severity of my endometriosis and my unwillingness to have a laproscomy(sp). Two kids later I think the dr was a moron.

Lady Heather - posted on 03/07/2011

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My sister wasn't told she couldn't, but she was told her endometriosis would make it "difficult". So they decided to start trying right away before they were married because they didn't want to waste any time. She got pregnant immediately. Ha.

Rosie - posted on 03/07/2011

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i know of 3 women who were told they couldn't get pregnant and now they have kids. i almost wonder if these women don't listen to the doctor, or if in fact they really were told they couldn't conceive. it seems almost unethical to tell a woman that she would be unable to conceive, when the only way for sure anybody would know that is if she's had a hysterectomy. hell even tube tying isn't 100%.

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I was never told that, but due to all the other health/fertility issues of people who lived where I was born (illegal toxic waste dump area) AND due to an accident my ex had as a kid.... we thought it might be a bit difficult. Nope. First month trying and I got pregnant w/ identical twins. ;)

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If i was told that i could never get pregnant,i would still parctise safe sex.Nothing is ever set in stone.Its how i feel anyway.I am so bad i still make my partner wear protection even when i am on birth control lmao..super safe i am.maybe if my tubes were tied then i would ease up..lol

My first child was a shocker, second planned to a T and i am not ready for a third as of yet.

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My sister was told from a teenager she will NEVER conceive due to a lot of problems with her ovarys etc.She has two children and after the birth of her second, well a few mths later.She had a scan due to problems with her ovaries.The doctor said "you dont have kids" until she was stopped in her tracks when my sis said "oh i do, two kids"..the doc was so shocked as she said no woman with ovaries so bad as hers with cysts would even release eggs.

I think sometimes there right in there thinking but there are times were life suprises us.What a wonderful suprise of two amazing children.She was also told to not continue with the first pregancy but my sister wanted to give her son a chance of life no matter the outcome.He was born with a hole in his heart and it was a tough road but hes a super healthy boy now.Her second child there were no health worries.



Many woman with my sisters condition do not get pregant.Many need a lot of help to get pregnant.

Katherine - posted on 03/07/2011

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YES!!! Due to endometriosis, just like you said, Kelly. And I had cysts. But then I had a lap done and shazam, pregnant almost immediately.
I think doctors are too quick to voice their "opinion" rather than state the facts or chances of getting pregnant.

[deleted account]

I know several women in real life who were told that conception and pregnancy would be very difficult due to Endometriosis (sp?) and they took that to mean that they could not have kids, which is NOT what the doctor said. You CAN still easily conceive with Endometriosis. Ovarian cancer/cysts and cervical cancer have also been named as medical issues preventing pregnancy, but you can still get pregnant with those too. In my experience, a doctor will almost NEVER tell a woman she absolutely cannot get pregnant, unless she's had a full historectomy, even then most are cautious. They usually say that the chances are very narrow for a woman to conceive, and leave it at that, so if the woman has unprotected sex and gets pregnant, she can't say "My doctor said I couldn't get pregnant" (because then she could sue him/her) she can only say, "My doctor said my chances of conceiving were close to nill"

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