What are the correct etiquette when talking on social networks?

Desiree - posted on 02/14/2011 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I just got into an argument with my beloved sister over discussing money over a public forum instead of talking to the person in private. Personally I have no problem with her loaning money to people and proud that she is helping someone who need it. But do I or anyone else needs to know about it. Especially when there are other members in our family who need that money just as much, but she will never think of offering it to them. She go very defensive telling me how much this person helps her. I don't actually care its none of my business. As far as I am concerned discussing money in public is very rude and bad mannered.

But then it brings me to other topics spoken about on these networks, I don't have an issue with not felling great today, but how about discussing what is going on with your body.

What is the correct etiquette when discussing certain subjects in a very public forum. When is it best to shut up and open up.

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Becky - posted on 02/14/2011

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People post way too much personal information of social networks these days, I find. Do all 400 of your friends, some who you've never met in person, really need to know that your spouse is a jerk or that you hate your MIL? (especially since some of those are probably mutual friends!) NO! And no, we don't all need to know that you have wicked cramps today or that you pee when you cough or the details of your last sexual encounter. And I agree, money is something that should be discussed privately, not publicly.

Stifler's - posted on 02/15/2011

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I HATE when people write passive aggressive bullshit in their status. Then someone asks what's wrong and they're like "it's personal'... don't write it then! Attention seeker! I agree talking about money is stupid online and everyone on your list doesn't need to know, PM, FB chat, over the phone or in person is much more sensible. Probably for security reasons also even if your list is on "friends only". It's still on the internet. Same with stuff about how you're drunk, relationship drama when YOU LIVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND we don't need to know how lazy he is around the house and secretly want to ask why you don't just get divorced if shit is that bad.

Sal - posted on 02/14/2011

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my rule of thumb is that i don;t say or post anything on a facebook page (or any other site) that i wouldn't put on the notice board of the supermarket, and it is usually bad form to discuss money in public at all

Jenni - posted on 02/14/2011

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The one I can't stand is when they discuss their personal medical information.

"Got the boil removed from my anus today."

ok could have lived without knowing that.....

Isobel - posted on 02/14/2011

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I would never...ever...post about borrowing or lending money ON somebody's page. Sorry, I agree with her. That needs to be a private message or conversations.

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Stifler's - posted on 02/15/2011

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yeah agreed they know someone is going to comment on it or give them a sympathy vote lol.

Bonnie - posted on 02/15/2011

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Yeah they write that it is personal or they don't freakin' answer at all! I depise that. It extremely bugs me. Why the heck are you sharing such personal information that you don't want to discuss then? You know at least one person is going to question it.

April - posted on 02/15/2011

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You are in the right, she's in the wrong. It is not only bad manners, but it's dangerous. There are hackers out there that pretend they're the person needing a loan. One of my friends almost got caught in this scam. Someone hacked into her friend's FB account, pretending to be her friend. My friend was made to believe that her friend was held at gunpoint at an ATM and now needs money because her credit cards/debits and cash are all gone. She almost fell for it, but mutual friends all got the same message. They put 2 and 2 together.

Nikki - posted on 02/15/2011

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Money should not be discussed online. I love other people's inappropriate fb updates, I don't know why; they are just so darn entertaining. My favourites are the one's discussing intimate and personal medical details, the one's slagging out that hoe bitch that looked at her boyfriend, how many drugs they scored on the weekend, getting caught out for having a sicky then posting party photo's on fb. Some people have no dam idea!

I am usually very careful about what I write on fb, no really personal details, pretty much only things I would be comfortable telling a room full of strangers.

Iridescent - posted on 02/14/2011

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No, I don't think that was appropriate. Regardless of who posted it, it made one person "seem" generous, and one needy, and put them both into a position they likely shouldn't have been stuck in, even if they don't realize it themselves.

In regards to what I put on facebook - I know each of my friends on facebook pretty darn well. I have no doubt I can post what I wish about anything, and have no concerns because I'd probably tell them the same in public. We all get a laugh out of the stupid mistakes I make some days, like supergluing my fingers yesterday, or having to microwave grilled cheese last month. And occasionally, I get a day where I post every trip to the bathroom just to see who is totally bored out of their mind and stalking me! It never seems to fail, I get a phone call while in the bathroom... But...I'm not like most people. I add my friends with care, and they are my FRIENDS.

Jenn - posted on 02/14/2011

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Chillax Laura - she was just pointing out that you incorrectly stated that you agreed with her sister, when you meant to say that you agreed with her.

[deleted account]

I will tell you what I tell my little ones when they start my manners class. (I am a SAHM/homeschooler)

If you won't get up in the middle of a stadium filled with people and tell or talk to the whole world then maybe you shouldn't be talking about it in public. The same goes for online as well. You are, essentially, telling millions and millions of people your business. So it doesn't matter if it is about the weather, what you ate, who you slept with, your body functions, money problems, etc etc etc.

The 2nd rule is to think about all those people and if they really want to hear about your problems, body functions, etc etc etc. (online = same thing)

Isobel - posted on 02/14/2011

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Did my post say that YOU were wrong? nope, just the behaviour...doesn't matter who did it, it shouldn't be done.

Krissy - posted on 02/14/2011

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I think the rules of thumb apply online as well as off line. Kinda sounds to me like your sister was bragging. We kinda take the good out of what we do if we brag to others about it... in my humble opinion.

Also, what about the respect and privacy of the person she loaned it to. Isn't she concerned they will feel like she's rubbing their need in their face?

I dunno, I have been free-er with talking about things when I'm anonymous because then no one knows who I'm talking about or anything. Even then, I have limits, though, to gossip and such.

Sal - posted on 02/14/2011

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except the time i bitched about how much i hate where i live, probally wouldn;t of put that on public display in our town, (i had no friends here, which is partly why i hated it

Desiree - posted on 02/14/2011

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Thanks Laura but it was my sister who was discussing money on one of her posts, I told her it was bad manners, She informed me she had nothing to hide. but then again the person she was lending money too doesn't have any manners either she was the one that started it. I tried to explain it nicely and ask her not to discuss that in a public forum and she basically told me to go to hell. I did say that when she posts things on her page and someone whos not one of my friend comments on that post I see it and so does everyone else looking at my page. We don't need to know!!

Jenn - posted on 02/14/2011

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Yeah, that sort of thing should have been kept private IMO - use email or PM's to discuss it if it can't be done in person or on the phone.

Krista - posted on 02/14/2011

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I agree as well. If someone's facebook status talks about needing a getaway, it's one thing to say, "If I ever win the lottery, I'll spring for a spa getaway for us!" Or, if you're fundraising for a charity, it's totally acceptable to mention it in a public forum.

But to actually talk specifically about borrowing or lending money? That definitely needs to be private. Discussing it in a public forum is very tacky, in my opinion.

Jenni - posted on 02/14/2011

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I agree discussing money in any public manner (not just social networks) is kind of in bad taste. It's a private matter between the partys involved.

Many people might find it embarrassing that others know they have had to borrow money.

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