What are your thoughts on abortion?

Sal - posted on 09/27/2011

i like many ladies here am pro choice but don't think i could have an abortion except in life threatening situations, as a mum to 3 potentially letting myself die for a baby who is not born is something i can't justify. i am lucky to live in a country where i am free to make a decision in peace without public judgment.
making it illegal doesn't make it stop it just makes it dangerous..

i am going back a few pages here, someone one mentioned the strict rules or guidelines they would feel approriate, that is just too controled and over control is a bad thing, taking the choice out of the inviduals hands isnt a good idea ever.......what if the authorites decided that if it was ok to abortion for some disorders, maybe it is a good idea for all pregnancies with that disorder to be terminated as it would save millions in health care... there would be outrage by taking the choice off the mums...and rightly so,

the other thing i would like to mention was about how someone said that why is it assumed all extreamist are prolife (or sonething in that vouge) well of course they are not, but i have never seen pro choicers at a maternity hospital yelling at mums in labour saying they should be ashamed having a baby, or following mums with disabled children and screaming they should of been aborted.

Brittany - posted on 09/27/2011

Gina,

Good point on the "Who is going to raise my children when I die?" I have not thought about that question before. Many times Dad is working and if something should happen to Mom well, what about the other children they may have? What if they have no other family to help them?

Very good point there.

Gina - posted on 09/27/2011

I'm fully pro-choice,though personally I couldn't have an abortion. Women have fought for their rights for so many years,and I think my biggest right is what I do with MY body.
It doesn't mean I could myself have one, only that I want my right to choose.

Abortion hasn't always been legal,I think people should remember what it was like for women back then.so many women died when abortions were illegal. Do we want to go back to that, really?
That's what I don't understand, Why have people forgotten how it was when abortion was illegal?
Like I said I could never have a abortion, but I want my right to choose.No one has the right to tell me not to have one,they don't know me or know why I would ever consider having one.
For the women who think a woman should have the baby even if her life is at risk,'Will you raise my other kids when I die'? Or is that not your problem?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura, that is amazing. All morning I have been trying to find information on a Vet I used to work for....but I don't know what her married name was...she is divorced and her story is from when she was married.....

She and her husband adopted 12...yes 12 children from other countries. IThey did not intend to...it just happened. I don't know how it all really started, I do know they went to the country with the first couple of adoptions...and took the kids home from there. The agencies would call them, say hey we have this kid who desperately needs a home...they would approve it...and instead of one child, they would sometimes get 2 at a time. Unbelievable but true. She had 1 bio child, so all together she had 13 kids. Most of them with some sort of problem, from FAS, to autism, Adhd...the list goes on. I believe at least 1 was wheelchair bound. Some of her employees have been there so long, they saw the children grow up. I am still trying to find it on line, but it was so long ago, and under a different last name.

Julianne - posted on 09/27/2011

yea.....i find that EXTREMELY hard to believe...because its against hospital protocol.

Brittany - posted on 09/27/2011

Juilanne,

My situation was not as detailed as I should have put it I suppose. I was trying to keep it was vague as possible. These kinds of things do happen. I have seen it happen when I was a volunteer at a hospital while I was in high school.

The circumstances of the situation are makes the decisions on things of this nature.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Marina I'm in Wisconsin. My mom had a scholarship set up in her name for birth moms in her name when she died. She really was a wonderful influence on these birth moms. I remember her one time setting up bi weekly meetings with a birth mom cuz the lady loved her son and wanted him but simply couldn't provide for him, my mom suggested the mom take home a used blanket every visit and apparently she slept with it as comfort for missing her baby.

Julianne - posted on 09/27/2011

Brittney, your hypothetical situation would NEVER HAPPEN in real life. That is not how it works.

Sapphire - posted on 09/27/2011

One comment from many pages ago said something to the effect of "Don't want kids, keep your legs closed".

Yeah...that works well in ALL circumstances. How about a childless by CHOICE couple? I know several couples who are strong in their marriages, and childless by CHOICE. They don't WANT kids. And the older women get, forms of traditional birth control do not always work. Accidents happen and unexpected pregnancies do result. All of these women are very set in their careers, lives, older ranging from 38-50ish, and small kids definately do not fit in their lifestyle. I could imagine these 4 women that I know weighing the pros and cons, but I don't think any of those women would go through a pregnancy. Seeking an abortion is most likely the best situation for all of them. I'm glad to know that we live in a country where these women have that choice to do with their body as they wish. Not ALL women who terminate a pregnancy are poor helpless teens. I'd love to know how many older women also seek to terminate a pregnancy.

Brittany - posted on 09/27/2011

Wow.....I go to sleep and BAM an explosion over night. I am glad to see opinions are still coming and some good suggestions are out there.

I did read all of the updates. Here are my thoughts.

@ Julianne,

The situation I gave was completely hypothetical. There are different circumstances in which the doctor can ask the mother is the doctor feel she is of right sound and mind to this kind of decision. Late term abortions are not illegal everywhere. They may not be performed often but, you can have them done legally.
_________________________________________________

Adoptions in America are hard. There is a lot of red tape involved. Security checks, blah, blah, blah but, some of this has to do with making sure a child is not placed in a "bad" home. I AM NOT IN ANYWAY SAYING, that anyone who has tried or knows someone who has tried to adopt here in the USA has a bad home. How many stories have we all read where Mom and Dad adopt from Russia and then the child ends up abused and killed. Look at the mother in Alaska who is married to a Cop. They adopted two twin boys from Russia and disciplines them but pouring hot sauce in their mouths and giving them cold showers. My child could punch me in the face and I would never do that. This lady was on Dr. Phil sometime last year and has since been charged with child abuse and the boys have been removed from their home (or at least that was the last update I know of.) Once I am out of school and have a home I plan on opening my home for foster care. Should I have a child placed in home at the age of 16 then I plan on helping them get into college and providing the same help I will provide my own children. I do also understand that finical I can not do that all the time but, I also do not think it is ok to have these children in my home and then just boot them out at age 18. I do also recognize that right now, I am in no position to take in a child. I am doing good to keep my GPA at 3.8, raise three kids and keep my home up.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

That is pretty impressive Laura. Surprising also. What state are you in?

Krista - posted on 09/27/2011

The sad thing is, there ARE no perfect answers.

Some of the women who are most unfit to have children are the ones who would never spend the money on an abortion, nor would they consider giving the baby up for adoption.

I read a photo essay recently. This photographer followed a woman named Julie. Julie had AIDS, and was a drug addict. At the beginning of the story, she's holding her own, and has her child, and is managing to keep it together. But it gets worse and worse. She keeps having kids, and keeps having them taken away, pretty much at birth. One photo that haunts me is of Julie comforting a wailing toddler. The boys parents left him with Julie for an afternoon, but went on a drug bender and hadn't been back for two weeks. My heart absolutely broke for him, and for the fact that there are thousands more children just like him, unseen and uncared-for, all across America. Do I think that poor little boy should have never been born? I can't think of it that way -- he was born, and he's precious, and I could not wish him away. But do I think that it would be better for women like that to not have children? Of course. No child should be brought into that kind of a situation.

And the tragic thing is that those women would never spend the money on birth control or abortions. And they'd never just voluntarily give their children up for adoption -- they're fiercely possessive of their kids, and genuinely think they're good mothers.

So I really don't know what the answer is. All I know is that anybody who thinks that the answers are simple, is an idiot. It's so complicated, it's not even funny.

Mariah - posted on 09/27/2011

Women are not incubators. Abortion should not be legislated, it should fall under Women's Healthcare and left up to the individual and their doctor to decide if that option is right for them.

I am Pro-Choice and my choice is life.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Fostered 30, adopted 1. But all the other 29 were adopted.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Ok, you said your MIL had 30 foster children, or did she adopt 30 kids?

Jaime - posted on 09/27/2011

No Laura, the tragedy would be that fetus being born to a crack-addicted, single mother with no money, no education and no real understanding of how to raise a child. Then that child grows up beaten and abused and winds up in foster care where she sits until she is 18 and is then tossed to the world to fend for herself. Aborting a fetus before it is viable is merely preventing a possible tragedy. Finding a way to reduce the amount of abortions sought yearly is a great ambition, but unless you can fully eliminate all means of a woman becoming unwantedly pregnant, abortion will always be necessary for someone.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Jodi, black market adoptions (totally illegal) pay the mom directly AND usually pay for hospital bills.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

It may be tragic, but it is not the same as killing a child that has been born.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

I don't think the adoptive family pays directly to the birth mom, the agency pays for the birth moms med bills and the adoptive couples pay the agency, but it's not directly one to another.. That too risky.
Idk the laws but I do know they differ state to state.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura, is it expensive to adopt because often a birth mother finds adoptive parents while she is pregnant and then they have to pay for all the bills? Is that why there may be the incentive to go full term in many cases? What is the law there in relations to paying for medical expenses of a birth mother?

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

I agree its way too hard to adopt in America. If it were cheaper I might be adopting in the near future. As is it's waaaaaaayyyyyy cheaper for me to birth my own babies then it is to adopt but in my heart I'd love to adopt if I had that kind of money

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Sorry, but WHAT? Abortion is preventing an unwanted child from being born.....it is not killing a child at term and delivery.





In my mind aborting at birth or at 20 weeks etc is just as tragic.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

I am still having a very hard time believing your story about adoptions in your church. I hope it is true, but cannot imagine in your corner of the world it is easier to adopt.....and so many people are doing it....yet all the people that I have known have no success. I have known people to foster older kids, and STILL not be able to adopt.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Ok, let me think,
One family adopted three siblings from Milwaukee
Another one adopted two separate children from Milwaukee
And then that family also adopted three more from Somalia
My step sister is adopted from locally in Wisconsin.
My brother has a friend who was adopted from Indiana
My step mom had 30 foster babies in privat adoptions as well and all were adopted as infants.
My old boss adopted a little girl from Minnesota
I can keep thinking but yeah I know many many adopted kids.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Nope, I do not believe in mass euthanasia of abandoned animals, much like I would not believe in mass euthanasia of children in foster care. Also, mass euthanasia on animals at shelters are done more regularly than you imagine. That is why "no kill' shelters exist. Many places euthanize after 7-14.

Iris - posted on 09/27/2011

Ok, just saw your answer.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura "Abortion isn't preventing unwanted unborn babies. It's preventing unwanted born babies"

Sorry, but WHAT? Abortion is preventing an unwanted child from being born.....it is not killing a child at term and delivery.

Iris - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura, I'm wondering the same thing as Marina. These adopted children, are they all from the States?

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

I posted in detail below about them, but we worked with a private adoption agency, we picked the infants up from the hospital and kept them while the mothers rights were terminated, 6 weeks usually, 9 months was the longest.
All adoptive families were picked by the birth mother.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Abortion isn't preventing unwanted unborn babies. It's preventing unwanted born babies. But IMO that's just not a good solution to be shooting for.
Do you think we should euthanize all animals in shelters? Or do they have a right to life above that of unborn humans.
Mass euthenasia of humane society animals would help the animal overpopulation, but no one wants to kill dogs and cats.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

If you feel this passionately against abortion, maybe you can direct your emotions to educating young adults on preventative measures. That way you can spread your beliefs, and hopefully encourage young adults to use protection.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

27 foster babies? All raised from birth to adulthood? Or were they all adopted out successfully? I am just curious.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Well good. I am sure they are very happy and fulfilled. Still having a hard time believing they all adopted from the US.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

We had 27 foster babies, and then there's lots of adopted kids at my church too.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Well, you can not see it this way, but abortion is prevention.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Unfortunately this earth as it is right now needs abortion. But i think the goal should be to work towards reducing and eliminating it

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

Pie in the sky kind of stuff....

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura, I have a really difficult time believing you know 40 people that want to adopt., let alone them being victorious in the states. One couple that I know tried for 5 years, then decided to go to Mexico...had the baby 6 months later. Another couple waited 2 years and gave up. I don't know how long the others waited, but they successful in other countries. I guess I should have worded my previous statement " I know 5 couples who have tried". I am not sure that they have completely given up...some of them want more than one child.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

And maybe fixing it so it doesn't cost $10,000 plus to have a baby that you are just going to give to someone else anyway, but is cheaper by far to have an abortion.......

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Adoption, AND prevention is the solution to huge amounts of abortions.
If women reproduced like bunnies no amount of adoption would fix it. But with both adoption and prevention I think abortion could be reduced

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

Ok, thanks....

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Jodi what i want in my image of a perfect world isn't the same as what I think is best for earth as is.

Jaime - posted on 09/27/2011

But Laura, that's the fucking point. Adoption should be the option for every unwanted baby if we want to wipe out the alternative or at least significantly (and I mean almost to none) decrease it. But that's NOT reality. Not all babies are adopted, and as Marina pointed out in North America adoption process and procedures are long and expensive. It's no secret that the thousands of unadopted children in foster care at this moment, will undoubtedly remain there until they are 18 and out on their own. And then what? That 18-year-old is replaced with another foster kid and on and on and on the cycle goes.

Starfish - posted on 09/27/2011

I'm absolutely, 100% pro-choice. Always have been, always will be. I've never needed an abortion, and I hope I never do, but if that day ever comes, I'll be glad it's there.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

"but I'm not saying ban abortions. Again Ive never said I am trying to make abortion illegal"

Sorry Laura, I have to do it:

Quoting Laura "Personally in my own mind and heart i believe yes it should be illegal."

This might be why people are thinking you said it SHOULD be illegal and banned......

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Well I know 40+ families who adopted here and while its not easy or cheap it is doable.
I'm not saying that adoption is the solution for EVERY unwanted baby. But it darn well could be a better solution for SOME unwanted but loved babies.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

I have known at least 5 people trying to adopt in the states...,it is so fucking hard. That is why people go to foreign countries to do it. There is so much damned red tape involved. It is sad that the goveernment prefers to have an over abundance of abandoned children in the system rather than finding them good homes and making it easier to adopt. It is stomach turning.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

Laura "mom thinks her choices are between her baby being aborted or sitting in foster care for it's life that's just not the truth. " BUT, many of the DO! And, adoption is not 1,2,3 easy peasy...it is a really difficult process. Also, some women DON'T want a child growing inside of them. Some women DON'T want to give birth...possibly hold the child, have milk fill in, go through all the pain of labor and pregnancy to give an unwanted child up...also a very painful thing. No one is saying you cannot have your beliefs, just trying to show you a different perspective, which you can still disagree with.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/27/2011

Well yes kids do sit in foster care but if a family wants a baby and can't het one they wait, they don't usually go for a child anyways so there's no point in having less babies available to give the kids a chance since some couples wait years to get a baby.
Yes disabled babies and kids have bad lives in the system, sometimes, but I'm not saying ban abortions. Again Ive never said I am trying to make abortion illegal I'm just saying if a mom thinks her choices are between her baby being aborted or sitting in foster care for it's life that's just not the truth.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

And Laura....who takes those severely deformed babies, or the Downs babies no-one can abort if they choose they don't want them (because it is illegal)? Or do we not only force people to have these babies, but we either force them to raise them or to dump them in the foster care system too?