When are you too old to have a baby? Or too young to be sexually active?

Charlie - posted on 09/10/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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These are from a Dr phil show : what are your opinions ??

"I started having sex when I was 12," reveals Danielle. "I think I'm old enough and mature enough to make my own decisions about sex."

Her mother, Elaine, disagrees. "Danielle is doing things promiscuously with boys that I don't think she should," she says. "Recently, Danielle asked me if I would buy condoms for her. I just said to her, 'If you think I'm going to condone a 13-year-old having sex and buy you condoms, I'm not!'"

Elaine has also found notes from Danielle's friends that asked "Did you get any last night? I'm jealous. I didn't."

"I think my mom should help me get birth control because I won't stop having sex," says Danielle. "A lot of girls my age have sex because the boys like you a lot better and you're a lot more popular. If I were to get pregnant right now, I feel that I could take care of the child. I would get a job at the zoo, working at the concession stand or something."

Carolyn recently made headlines when she gave birth to a little boy at 55 years old. She also has a 3-year-old daughter. "I've had a lot of people ask me why I waited so long to have my children," she says. "My focus from high school on was college and career."

Carolyn and her husband tried to have a baby when they were married 15 years ago, but she never got pregnant. "When I was 42, we made the decision to freeze our embryos for later use," she explains.

After graduating from law school and separating from her husband, Carolyn decided she was ready to use their embryos. "My first couple of attempts did not work. Then, lo and behold, the pregnancy took! I was 52 when I had my daughter." Although Carolyn was concerned about her age, her pregnancy went very well. "When I was 54, I asked my obstetrician, 'Am I healthy enough to do this again?' And he says, 'You know Carolyn, you are.' And so I did it again."

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Jodi - posted on 09/10/2009

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I often wonder how these 12 year olds get the opportunity to have sex, up against a wall in the toilets or the bus shelter? No WAY are they old enough. I personally think 16 is the absolute minimum. However, with regard to having babies, I think at least 18, but later would be ideal.



Oldest? I think the natural age of menopause. For instance, I know I am already experiencing some effects of my body changing now and I am only 40 (my mother started menopause at 42, so this would be normal). So basically, around 45-50 at the oldest to have children. There is a reason we finish having babies at this age. I hear about people in their 50s and 60s having babies and wonder how they will feel about running around after their toddlers at that age!! It's draining enough at 40. Having experienced a pregnancy at 27 and one at 35, I can honestly say it is much easier (the pregnancy, the birth, the running around) when you are younger!!

Kylie - posted on 09/10/2009

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children under 16 should not be having sex. Danielle's mother is a moron.. where is her daughter having all this sex?..at school in the toilets? the quote about getting pregnant is exactly why children should not have sex..they are not mentally mature enough to understand the permanency of their decisions, they have no idea bout true responsibility and they shouldn't have to because they are CHILDREN. sex = popularity? That makes me scared.

I think if a women is fit and healthy and her body can support a healthy pregnancy she has every right to be a mother. I think after menopause, womens bodies are generally not designed to bear children....also I think it would be extremely difficult to be a good mother to a teenager at 70 + years. Definitely depends on the induvudial. I wouldnt want kids in my 50's thats also a scary thought.

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Amie - posted on 09/10/2009

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Well I'd say the teen's mom is a douche. The only reason a child gets that out of hand is because of lack of discipline. Why is she even allowed to be friends with idiots like that? How did she become such a self destructive teen? What is going on at home for things to deteriorate so badly? Ugh...

Carolyn, well so long as she's not messing with nature (aka menopause) then whatever. I wouldn't do it, I'll feel for the kids when they get poked fun at but other than that I don't overly care.

If we're talking about me. Well 30 is my cap. Wanted all my babies before I turned 30 and I have them. I first had sex at 16 and that's all I'll say about that since it wasn't my choice.

Lindsay - posted on 09/10/2009

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I'm pretty sure that at age 12 my children won't have the opportunity to be sexually active as they probably won't be without adult supervision. I do think that since this woman is aware of her child's sexually active lifestyle and not willing to keep closer tabs on her child, she should be keeping her on birth control.

As far as being too old to have a child, I know this is a little different but really quite the same....my aunt and uncle have recently adopted a girl from China and they are 50...Gracie is 2. They are great parents to her and I'm sure have taken great consideration of what to do if something were to happen to them, just as any parent should of any age. They have 3 biological children that are grown or nearly grown(24, 20, and 16). I'd say one of them would assume responsibility for her.

Brenda - posted on 09/10/2009

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I think Danielle's situation is more common than we want to believe. My best friend is a cheer coach at the high school and some of the stories I hear are very disturbing. It really is shocking how many girls are not only sexually active, but are contracting STDs. One of her cheerleaders who is 17 years old has contracted 2 STDs from her 21 year old boyfriend and he has even made her have sex with his brother by telling her he would break up with her if she didn't. It's disgusting. Obviously the girls mother is a complete idiot and has no business being a parent.

I personally see no reason why a woman of any age can't have children. I personally don't think I would choose to have children later than 40 though.

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I was 14 when I started having sex (freshman in HS), I was also a year younger then the rest of my class so I think that I was probably more mentally mature then others might be @ 14. 12 is WAY too young, although I do understand the mentality of sex=popularity because is sure does! Unfortunately the boys only WANT you because you'll put out not because they are ACTUALLY interested in you. I married my HS sweetheart and we have ea. only had each other as sex partners so NO i did not turn into a slut after having sex so young, again not very common... 15 wouldn't surprise me, wouldn't we all wish that kids would wait past 16 for everything?



As far as too old to have kids... I know that todays higher aged folks are staying alive longer unfortunately it is believed that this generation will not outlive it's parents. So if today a 50 yr old had a kid I suppose she has a reasonable opprotunity to live relatively well fit into her 70's+ On the other hand as the generations progress and the myriad of diseases that we are being faced with at horrific proportions consumes us as a nation I do not think it would be too wise to have kids late in the 40's.

Sharon - posted on 09/10/2009

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At 12 she's a skank and just brain dead.



You're to old to have a baby when you cannot physically keep up. Some people are quite spry at 73. But at 50 years of age and she's sound of sound mind and her body did it, who am I say she can't have a baby. I'm sure she can provide for her kids if something horrible happens.



Danielle needs a chastity belt and a slap across the face to wake her ass up.

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I can't help but wonder where Danielle is going to have all this sex. My parents were of the very strict variety, and there was little chance for me to have gone and had sex until I was 16 or 17 and would have been able to lie about where I was going in my car when I left to go to the movies or somewhere. But if her mother is unwilling or unable to keep tabs on her, then I think providing her with birth control is the responsible thing to do. Maybe that will put me in the minority. But I think that prevention is better than having to make a decision about abortion, adoption, or losing the rest of childhood raising a baby, and her daughter is right-if her mother doesn't always make sure she knows right where she is and that she can't be in a situation where sex is possible, then she's going to keep having sex.



As for being too old-I don't know that there is such a thing. Although I would certainly love a baby I had at any age, and protect and care for it, I don't see myself being the sort of woman who has fertility treatments to have another that late in life. There's just a lot that would get complicated in that situation. But as long as the woman is healthy and not endangering her child, I have no problems with a 50-something woman having one.

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