Why are we all so scared?

Aliska - posted on 05/11/2011 ( 101 moms have responded )

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Why as a society are we all so scared of things? I constantly hear the phrase ‘you can’t do that these days’ in regard to things like...

• Kids can’t go to the park alone, these days, not like when we were kids.

• You can’t travel on public transport, these days, it’s not safe.

• You can’t let kids go to the shopping centre/swimming pool etc, on their own, these days because you don’t know who might be there.

The list goes on and on. What is it about ‘these days’? What’s wrong with ‘these days’? I am by no means a crime stats junkie and I’m happy to be corrected but whenever I read an article in the media about crime rates the trends are either that they are staying the same or decreasing, not increasing.

Why then are we so afraid of letting our kids out of our sight and even doing things ourselves when often there’s no logical basis for our fear?

For example many people are too afraid to use or let their children use public transport, particularly at night, preferring the car instead. Yet when was the last time you heard of someone being killed or seriously injured on public transport as opposed to killed or seriously injured in a car accident?

I am really curious as to why we are so afraid, ‘these days’, what do you think?

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Sneaky - posted on 05/11/2011

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My question would be - if the rates of crime appear to be decreasing (I have not looked at the stats, this is a hypothetical question) couldn't that be a result of parents not letting their kids go places by themselves and avoiding potential dangerous situations?

Mrs. - posted on 05/12/2011

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"Interesting, did you ever consider that your parenting is why your child isnt responsible enough to drive a car at the age almost all states and provinces allow teenagers to start learning to drive?"

Hey, you didn't write that about me, but even I find that a little much.

Yes, there is a bigger culture of fear than before. Yes, some parents might have to work on letting go. I don't think this means their kids are automatically unmotivated losers. That's the same as saying that the liberal parents kids are going to end up raped and on meth because they are strict enough.

Come on.

Johnny - posted on 05/12/2011

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People in general suck at risk assessment. They are terrified of the astronomically low probability that their kid will get kidnapped at the playground but ignore the significantly higher likelihood that their toaster oven will burst into flames when they've left the kids home napping to run a 5 min errand.

Jenni - posted on 05/11/2011

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@Katherine doesn't the number of crimes reported relate to the growing population?
1960 pop 179 000 000
to a population in 2010 of 307 000 000

The trend I see... if anything... in the last 20 years there has been a decrease in crimes even with an increase in populaton.

My belief in answer to the OP is negative press. Reports on murders get viewers. Reports on saving kittens from trees doesn't. The news is saturated with crime stories because that's what sells and we're all left with the impression that things are so much worse nowadays than back in the 50's. Relatively speaking, they're not.

Isobel - posted on 05/14/2011

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how 'bout this...your kid is AT LEAST a thousand times more likely to die in a car crash than be kidnapped by a stranger.

HOW ON EARTH DO YOU LET THEM EVER SIT IN YOUR CAR?????

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Charlie - posted on 05/15/2011

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I don't live in fear but I am fullly aware of our surroundings , there is not more danger now then there was any other decade in fact with technology and information we are safer the illusion we are in more danger comes from the fear spread through being more aware of crimes ....people were far less aware decades ago because of the lack of information not to mention things were more likely to NOT get reported in the past .

The medi controls what we know but we now have more access to information , children like always need age appropriate freedoms to learn self awareness and awarness of enviroment all this over protection is turning people into victims and not the otherway round .

LadyJane - posted on 05/14/2011

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My kids both know very well how to handle themselves in unsafe situations. Both have classes outside of school they're allowed to attend, but I actually sit there and watch them. I like to see them practice. If I can't take them, their grandmother will. But if I can help it I don't let them out of my site even if I'm just watching them walk across the street.

[deleted account]

Were i live Jane, the amount of people who are verbally abused and threatened on public transport is terrible.Mostly evening/night time.I would never go on public transport at those times let alone with my kids.I am scared because i have seen it, not heard it.I have seen moms think there kids are safe and they were not.:-(

Jane - posted on 05/13/2011

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"Yet when was the last time you heard of someone being killed or seriously injured on public transport as opposed to killed or seriously injured in a car accident? "

Funny thing, in today's paper was an account of a pick up truck that hit a bus and it lost control, killing one passenger and injuring 21.

The biggest reason why we are afraid of everything these days is that we have way too many forms of media all competing for our attention. Since "blood leads" we hear far more about bad happenings than good ones. We are bombarded with accounts of terrible things happening so we feel as if the world is going to Hell in a handbasket.

In addition, we don't know our neighbors very well anymore. We stay inside with our AC and our electronics and only meet the neighbors when the power goes out.

We feel embattled and alone in a world where terrible things seem to happen constantly. But it is an illusion.

Grace - posted on 05/13/2011

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It's very simple really. Nothing to do with stats etc. If you have ever lost a child or know someone who has a lost a child, you have the fear of losing them. I can't let my kids out of my site and I'm very selective of who they can be with. If you had a very precious stone, you wouldn't leave it out in the yard alone or on public transport and expect to get it back. I know I'm over protective and over the top, but I have lost a child. Not trying to offend anyone at all.

Jenn - posted on 05/13/2011

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Laura you said "If you don't give them freedom in small increments you are going to end up with a kid that goes APESHIT the first time they are let out by themselves at 16. Just sayin' "

I couldn't agree more with you!! I find the kids that are overly sheltered are the ones that end up taking lots of risks as teens because they have never really had chance to get it out of their system so when they are on their own they tend to go to the other extreme. I know i was raised in a VERY strict and sheltered home, and once i hit my late teens and was finally allowed out with y friends i was just wild. I had been so sheltered my whole life i just wanted to know what i was missing. I agree with you 100% Laura. You're parenting style seems to mirror mine as well. My son is four and i allow him to pay outside in my unfenced in yard alone. I have the window open to se him and check up often but he is very street smart for his age. My friend tried to give him five dollars a few weeks ago while i ran in the store (he waited in the car with her) and when i got out she told me that he refused to accept it cuz he said "mommy told me never to take anything from strangers" lol. I had t tell him it was ok to take it. That just shows tat when you start young teaching these things that kids do pay attention and it does sink in. My son knows he cannot leave the yard, he knows that if a car is coming up the street to move off the driveway, if a stranger approaches him he comes to the door, if his ball goes on the road he will come tell me. I am very confident that as a teen and adult he will know how to trust his gut and make good decisions as a result.

Jenn - posted on 05/13/2011

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I would also like to add that i think it is a VERY good idea to take your child (even as young as four or five) up the street and have him try to find his way home alone (with you following closely behind him of course, but slightly out of sight) to see if he can..What if you child accidentally wanders away one day up the street, if he isn't at least slightly familiar with his neighborhood then he could end up getting seriously lost. Accidents happen kids wander off, kids sneak outside, kids follow other kids, better to prepare you child before this happens. My son is four years old and i could place him anywhere around the block and he could get home, and no i do not allow him to go around unsupervised (although i do allow him to play in the backyard alone with the window open so i can see him) but i am confident that if he ever did end up wandering away, he wouldn't panic and get himself more lost. I actually got this idea from Today's Parents" magazine and i think it is a very good one. The best time to prepare your children for dangerous situations is before they actually happen. If a child knows what to do in a given situation their chances of survival and avoiding those situations is better in the first place. If a child has never left moms side, what is to stop them from panicking when they get lost and possibly trying to get a way home fro a stranger, etc. Children aren't magically born with survival skills and street smarts, we as parents have to provide it for them. Whether you want to believe it or not your child will end up in a sketchy situation of some sort at some point i their life and you wont be there to walk them through it. I feel confident that my four year old son has pretty good street smarts for his age.

Jenn - posted on 05/13/2011

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Because we live in a society that is driven by fear. The media always has us in a constant state of panic and fear, because as a previous poster has pointed out FEAR=MONEY, and FEAR=CONTROL/POWER. Examples: H1N1 "Epidemic" which turned out to be no worse than the normal flu, The Y2K/Millennium crash that never happened, the Breast Cancer scare (when statistics show tht more woen than ever are actually beating it and surviving, online predators 9/11, school shootings, Global warming...The list goes on and on...Obviously it is important to do our best to keep our kids safe but i think today's children are definitively OVER sheltered..Back then you saw the occasional murder on the news, now its an everyday occurrence..People just weren't afraid then like they are now...Watch the documentary by Micheal Moore "Bowling for Columbine"...He discusses how the government and society keeps us scared and gives tons of great examples of how things have changes over the years...It will definitely get you thinking..Kidnappings, rapes, murders, etc are so overexposed that they have us convinced that it is very likely it can and will happen to our children, when in reality you probably have just as good a chance as getting struck by lightening. Over protecting children and not allowing them to experience the world and make their own decisions leads to children who are naive to the dangers and are more likely to end up i a bad situation. Informing your child of the dangers and allowing them to have their independence and put their decision making skills to good use creates independent kids that are aware of their self and their environment and who deal with negative situations much better. I am not saying to put you children in unnecessary danger but do not bubble wrap them and paint the world as all glitter and rainbows.

Johnny - posted on 05/13/2011

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When I was a kid, there was a serial murderer killing kids in my city. Nothing like that has happened since then. I definitely think my daughter is safer now than I was then. The crime rate is WAY lower, especially violent crime, and like someone else mentioned, that encompasses a greater reporting rate of domestic violence and rape than when I was young.

Obviously I don't let my 2 1/2 year old run wild, but just like the other kids in our complex, she'll be allowed to play in the playground alone (with the other kids) when she's about 6. Of course, it's fenced and I can see it from my kitchen window.

My parents allowed me to go downtown on the bus when I was 13. It depends on how responsible she is, but it will probably be about the same for her. Now we have the advantage of cell phones, which is great.

[deleted account]

You can allow your children to be kids, you can allow them there space.That does not say you have to be on top of them 24/7.I give my children space from a distance.I think personally thats a wise choice.A safe choice and for me IMHO, responsible parenting.



In my town no children have gone missing(as in taken etc) ..the amount of children who wondered off and out of there estates were the live is high.Many feel there children are safe playing outside, many check now and again to make sure there kids are fine.You can't take your eyes off them at all i feel, those parents had to learn the hard way.One child was gone for an hour, she went out of the estate and was heading into town, she was ready to go into traffic when she was found.Scary.

Lesa - posted on 05/13/2011

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I remember when I was a kid I roamed all day by myself around my parents house in the country. Seriously, we came home when our bellies told us to. Now we go to my mom's house and my son is 7 and I get concerned when he is gone for more than 15 minutes out of my sight. She lives in the same place with the same people on her road. I don't necessarily worry about him getting abducted but I do worry about him tripping and falling into the many ponds and streams. This frightens me more than anything. We are giving him more freedom to wander and explore but it doesn't mean that I don't worry about it.

Nikkole - posted on 05/13/2011

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My mom wouldn't let me go over to any of my friends house's (she was terrified of me getting lice) i couldn't walk or ride my bike alone till i was 16 or older! But when i turned 18 i wasn't wild i actually got married and a year later i was pregnant with my son! I really didn't have much of a childhood and i do not want my kids to go through that i will let them play outside when they are old enough to understand the rules and i will def let them go to there friends house's BUT i must meet there parents first and have a phone number so i can reach them! As for walking to the park thats not gonna happen because we live 7miles away from a park lol thats a little far to walk!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/13/2011

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There of course is a happy medium, but everyone needs to remember, we all live in such different areas. Some safer than others....and some unsafe completely, where letting a kid outside by themselves would be reckless endangerment.

Laura - posted on 05/13/2011

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I'm kind of the way Laura and Jennifer are. I'm protective but I'm not a helicopter parent. My 4 almost 5 year old plays alone in our non fenced in backyard but I check on him frequently. He knows the rules and has to stay in the area that I can see him. He has crossed the street over to our neighbors by himself (with me watching and yelling to look both ways)

But there are a lot of things that I did as a kid living in a town with a pop of 300 people that my kids in our current location wouldn't be able to do. A lot of this depends on where you live.

I also have found in my experience that the kids who have been sheltered all their lives tend to be the ones that get into more trouble when they are finally on their own. They are the ones that don't know how to handle situations that could potentially get them into trouble. (not all but most)

And one more thing, I think another reason people are so scared is because they are afraid that others will report them for being neglectful if they let their kids run around the neighborhood. In this sue happy, CPS calling culture people are afraid of being labeled the "bad parent"

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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Yeah... like I said the road scares me more than anything. I am constantly preaching road safety to my LOs and teaching them age appropriate road safety. ie: we never go on the road without mommy or daddy. I'm always pointing out the cars on the road so my children are aware of them. Telling them how they drive really fast and could hit them. My son always tells me how they could run over his toe :/ When coming up to a road I always tell them, ok we're coming up to a busy road. We have to hold hands. Now look to both ways to see if any cars are coming. See there's one, we have to wait.



So I'm encouraging early education and prevention. I'm sure when they are ready I will feel confident in their safety knowledge to allow them their freedom.

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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That's what I try to do Jennifer, my kids are 8 and 10, they are allowed to play on our street together, or to go to the park IF they are with the ten and twelve year old next door...I understand the fear, I just won't allow my kids to be a victim of it.

Bonnie - posted on 05/13/2011

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I would rather be more cautious than sorry in the end. If I can prevent something in some way, I will. That's just me though.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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I wouldn't consider myself outrageously over protective but I do lean a little towards the more cautious side. It's not as though I have a set age, when my child is 6 he will be allowed to go to the park with friends. I would base his freedoms entirely on my child's maturity level. When I feel they understand road safety or stranger safety. It's hard to really say right now because my kids are so young.

When I was a kid I was free-roaming from an early age. My mom always allowed me a lot of freedom. So I can't really see myself being overly strict either but I do understand other parents fears. I don't agree with sheltering your kids but I believe in a compromise, a medium. Both oversheltering and undersheltering can be potentionally dangerous. I'm trying to find a middle ground.

Tara - posted on 05/13/2011

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Don't I know it Laura it was my own step father who sexually abused me. So I know better than most how dangerous your own circle of friends and family can be. But I also have taught my kids things I was never taught, like even if someone touches you and you like the touch or it feels good etc. it is wrong when that touch is in certain places. So although I know the risks in having kids in general, teachers, coaches, friends parents, your own parents etc. I also know how to best prevent such predators from getting my kids.
And we homeschool as you know, but my kids spend as much time in the community mon-fri during the day as they do at home during the day, a lot of their "schooling" takes place at the library.
All homeschooled kids that I know are all very free range and independent, more comfortable being on their own than their school going peers. But that's probably just cause I hang out with similarly like minded peoples. :)

[deleted account]

I would rather be safe than sorry.
My uncle let his 13 year old daughter&friend go to town and many can cross through the park, as a short cut.
While they were in the park, it was about 4 in the evening.A man exposed himself to them and he said sick things to them.The girls ran and told .This man was caught due to the park guard taking car numbers of cars parked in the park.
He was just out of jail for assaulting children before.His own wife and kids were in hiding from him.:-(
You have to be careful, the world is getting worse not better.
My main priority is my childrens safety.I don't care if others think i am wrapping them up in cotton wool.There still children and do all the children stuff, just with me or an other adult present to care for them.It will remain that way until there at an age were they can handle themselves.

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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no cub scouts, no girl guides, no hockey, no being involved in the church, need I go on?

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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The fact is...you are FAR more likely to be molested by somebody you know...If I were that terrified of somebody hurting my kid, I wouldn't let them go on ANY playdates, no sleepovers, no private music lessons, no being dropped off at a party...no being left alone with a parent of one of their friends. period.

Tara - posted on 05/13/2011

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I think it's hard for some people to put themselves in another living environment. I let my 6 yr old cross the street in front of our house, I let her ride her bike to the park with her older sisters, I let her go to the library while I work out in the gym that is attached to the library (in the community center, it's all one big building).
And yes my neighbours all know my kids, we say hi to everyone and I know them all by name. I have no fears about letting my kids play in their community unsupervised. There are boundaries of course, they mostly have to do with the highway which they are not allowed to cross even though it slows to 50 km/h in the village, the river and lake which make up 1/2 of their boundary line, the highway makes up the other 1/2. and the cemetery is also a large part of their "territory" but they generally stay on the street side of the fence out of respect for the dead.
I wouldn't allow them to do this in a city with more people and more cars, and in the summer on weekends they are not allowed on certain streets because they become much busier with people who generally aren't paying a lot of attention to their driving.
It's about knowing your surroundings, having confidence in your kids and teaching them to be street smart and stranger smart.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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I wouldn't say so Laura. I mentioned earlier some strange man tried to lead my cousin away from her mom in the grocery store when she was 3 or 4. Her mom had just turned to look at the shelf for a minute and when she looked back some strange man was leading her daughter away by the hand.

It can happen while being supervised. Maybe that was just fluke but it sure makes me never want to let my eyes off my kids for more than a second. Mind you, my kids are 3 and 4 years old.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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The house I lived before this one was only a few blocks away but it was a boulevard with no street lights at the main intersection (so hardly any traffic) and a much closer community. I felt way more secure there than I do where I'm at now.

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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But Bonnie, those things are SO rare...it's as likely as being struck by lightening...they are never more than a block from home and they are with a group of kids aged 8-12. I truly think it's important for them to learn to function without me.



Somebody on here said once before that keeping a child under lock and key until they are adults is the same as saying...



My baby can't walk until she's one...so I'll hold her until then. Then a year later you put them down and, not only can they not walk, they can't even sit up by themselves or crawl. If you don't give them freedom in small increments you are going to end up with a kid that goes APESHIT the first time they are let out by themselves at 16. Just sayin'

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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Oh yeah, I remember those days... we always travelled in large 'packs'. I can see what your saying, there are smaller communities within big cities. I just don't care for where I am currently living because it's on a busy street. Near one of the main roads that run through my city. I do know of smaller subdivision communities nearby that I'd feel much safer in. I still prefer small towns so does my husband... probably just because that's how we grew up and what we're familar with.

Bonnie - posted on 05/13/2011

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Something can still happen with hundreds of people around. In fact, things do happen with hundreds of people around.

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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Right, but cities are made up of smaller communities. I live on a tree-lined street where all the houses are 6 feet apart...when the kids go out to play, it's in a pack of a minimum of 4 up to a max of about 10 depending on the day.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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I also want to add that living in a small town does have the benefits of everyone knowing everyone. You can't sneeze without someone reporting it back to your parents. ;) Everyone knows everyone so it's like a big family watching over all the kids. You always have nosey elderly couples watching your kids every move. Neighbourhood watch so to speak. I don't know... at least for me, I've always felt safer in small communities.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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This was when I lived in a twin city. Pop 200 000 (the same size as the city I currently live in).

Isobel - posted on 05/13/2011

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I agree Jennifer. OH...and I live midtown in a 5 million person city.

It's funny cause I get scared to let my kids out when we're in a small town or in the country...cause here there are always hundreds of people milling about to see everything, in a small town I feel like nobody would notice anything going on

Sherri - posted on 05/13/2011

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My 5 yr old has not. Have my older two yup but in eye shot of an adult.

Jenni - posted on 05/13/2011

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You know, that is my biggest fear for my children. Not being kidnapped or murdered. It's the road.

When I was 5 we were visiting a friend my kindergarten class. My mom was friends with her mom and she was my BFF. We were playing in the yard and we heard an ambulance coming down the road. We all went to see what was going on. Another kid from our class lived across the road from her and there he was laying in the middle of the road... hit by a car. He had been riding his bike up and down his driveway and had drove into oncoming traffic. It was not a busy street. A subdivision road. I remember we all went over to see if he was alright.

He returned to class half way through the year and was in a wheel chair. He had suffered brain damage and was never the same after.

Just telling that story again gives me chills, I was so sad for him and his family. It still makes me cry.

Sherri - posted on 05/13/2011

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@Gorgonzola - Have they crossed the street on my actual st. where I live on there own. NO!!! Have the crossed many other streets in there life time. Yes!!!! Does this answer your question.

Erin - posted on 05/12/2011

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** Mod Warning **

I have had to delete a post for personal attack. Keep it civil please.

Erin - DM Mod

Lacye - posted on 05/12/2011

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Like I have said in another post, it's not that things are safer these days than when we were all younger, people are just more aware then what they used to be. When we were younger, people really didn't say much when a child was molested because it just wasn't talked about. People were so scared to talk about things like that. Nobody really thought about their kids being kidnapped because they never thought it would happen in their town. But lately you hear about sex offenders and kids being snatched up off the street. I would rather be safe than sorry. I wouldn't mind my daughter when she gets older and has friends, inviting them over to play in our yard or her going to their place to play in the yard as long as somebody is out there to supervise them.

Jayce - posted on 05/12/2011

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I'm looking forward to the time when my son is old enough to play in the park with his buddies or drive his bike over to a friends house or just bum around the neighbourhood with nothing to do. Some of my favourite childhood/teen year memories are from senerios just like that. Of course by the time my 3 yr old is old enough to do those things he'll have to do them alone because all the other kids his age will be holed up in their bedrooms with the curtains drawn hiding under the sheets, playing nintendo too terrified to go out on their own.

I hate that the fear mongering that is so previlent in our society these days.

Lacye - posted on 05/12/2011

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My daughter is only 2 years old but when she gets older, she's not going anywhere without me until I feel she is responsible enough for me to trust. You just hear about things going on and it does scare the living crap out of you. Now I do give my daughter some freedom when we are outside but I'm outside with her and she is within my eye sight at all times. I let her play and run around all she wants to but she stays within my sight. She probably won't be allowed to go anywhere alone until she is about 15 or 16, depending on her maturity level.

Nikkole - posted on 05/12/2011

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In my opinion its not safer than i was a kid if anything i feel its worse (around where i live)

Firebird - posted on 05/12/2011

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Just curious... do you ever wonder how it got to BE safer than when you were a kid Laura? That didn't happen all by itself, I'm sure.

Jenni - posted on 05/12/2011

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I'm curious to know if one of the factors affecting those who are more protective to those who allow more freedoms entirely depends on where we live.

I lived in extremely small towns in Canada where crime rates were basically nil. We were allowed to roam free around the age of 6 and in some cases 3 if accompied by older kids. I walked a mile and a half to school alone or with friends since I was 6. I could ride my bike anywhere in town from the age of 8 as long as I told my mom where I was going.
I live in a small city now and although my kids are still very young... I couldn't imagine allowing them to roam free at the age I was allowed to. I feel very overprotective of them because I live in a larger urban setting. If I lived in a small town I wouldn't have the same fears as I do here. My whole opinion on it would probably change.

Isobel - posted on 05/12/2011

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I would rather risk the one in a million chance that my kid could get kidnapped then guarantee that they grow up afraid of a world that is WAY safer than it was when I was a kid.

Sharon - posted on 05/12/2011

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You know? Those parents who "refuse to live in fear" are the same ones whose kids are MIA. Gee, you say you let your 7 yr old walk home alone the 2 blocks from her girlfriends house in the dark and now her body has turned up in a suitcase in a ditch...." How's that "No Fear" thing working for you now?

There is no fear until it happens to you. Maybe the stats will be on your side. But gee what a gamble to take. With your kids life? REALLY?

Out of my friends only a handful have been in BAD accidents. Two have been in fatal accidents. The stats of that says that I don't need to buckle my kids in. The chances of a bad accident or fatal accident happening to us are slim to none. But I personally choose to NOT gamble with my kids lives. But hey, the earth is over crowded already. You wanna gamble, go for it. ME? I go to the casinos.

Bonnie - posted on 05/12/2011

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Well, lets face it. Times are different than what they use to be like. Although, then or now, I would still be protective of my children. That's just the way I am. And overall, I think it more so depends on the parents, not the times. I still see a number of 7 year old walking down the street by themselves and crossing it by themselves. I would never let a 7 year old do that.

Nikkole - posted on 05/12/2011

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My kids are a little young to be doing much on there own my son is 3 and my daughter is 10months lol but we do live in a small town but we live VERY close to two truck stops and we get a lot of crazy people around here so i won't let my kids run the neighborhood alone we also can look at the sexual offenders and we have 5 on our road that recently moved here! The scariest thing that happened was monday.....On our road its 20mph well a red F250 was coming down our road id say at about 60mph he swerved ran through two yards back on the road went air born an landed in our ditch in our yard, well come to find out he was drunk, but people speed like that 24/7 and if one of my kids were in the yard he could have killed them!! I may be over protective but id rather be that than see my kids face on the news because they are missing! And when they are older i will have to know there friends parents and where they are and a phone number before they can go to anyones house!

Kimberly - posted on 05/12/2011

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because its the unknown factor. the what if factor. the society these days people have felt you cant talk to strangers. and pretty soon those strangers become scary to us, because we stopped interacting so much. its a very slow process but its been increasing problem for many years. remember those country days where every body knew every one said hi to each other. you have to be on a back country road to find people who still say hi. other wise we dont interact. i know this is my opinion but hey it makes sence to me lol.

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