Working away

Corinne - posted on 07/25/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hmmmm... not a debate, more of a question/putting out the feelers kinda thing.
How many of you have husbands who work away from home or have a dangerous job? How does it make you feel, and how do you cope day to day?
I'm asking because my husband is a chef and is sick of working 10-12hr days 6 days a week, for relatively low pay, plus he never gets to see the kids as we leave the house at 8:30am most days and when we return, he's gone. A couple of guys he knows are going off to work on the oil rigs as chefs and now he wants to follow suit. He needs to do an offshore survival course (£750) and then he's pretty much set. Most of the contracts here are 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off which means he'd see so much more of us, and also the average pay is about 3.5 times what he's on now. Part of me is really excited about this, but there's a tiny bit that's worried about being lonely and bored (esp evenings). I guess I just want to know if it's worth it? I know on paper it looks awesome, but.......

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Merry - posted on 07/27/2011

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Oh I meant better then what her husband does.
Matts job is pretty good, I guess, he works as a chef at a noodles and co. He's home alot in comparison to other men but he also makes considerably less then most. He's in college to be a parole officer and then to hopefully be a lawyer. But he's only 24 so I'm glad we are as stable as we are. He works about 30hrs a week.

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Sounds like it could be a good opportunity for you family. If it doesn't work out, he could always go back to doing what he's doing.

My husband works nights in a prison, which I don't particularly like. I just keep my mind occupied when I'm home alone with the kids at night. I'm not overly concerned with the prison part of it...usually...sometimes it gets to me. On the plus side, he get 3-4 days at home each week, and we get a lot of family time. I REALLY like that. I'm hoping his current schedule is temporary. There's a promotion coming up with better hours and better pay, so I hope he gets it. But if he doesn't then we'll continue on like we're doing now.

Laura, just curious, what does your husband do?

Merry - posted on 07/27/2011

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Personally I wouldn't like it. But it might be better then what hes doing now....

Corinne - posted on 07/27/2011

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Thanks guys. Our main problems at the minute are money and the kids' attitude to their Dad. We live in a seaside town so a lot of the work here revolves around leisure and entertainment. Of course, this means Daddy's busiest times are weekends and school holidays, so he's really missing out. The kids have also started saying mean things to him like ' I love Mummy, not you ' and ' I don't want you here ' He really takes it to heart no matter what I say, it's like they're punishing him for his abscence. I'm hoping that having him around and being part of the day-to-day stuff will help. I think he's only after doing it for the chopper ride to work!

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

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My husband drives heavy machinery/trains people in the mines (open cut). It freaks me out especially when I hear stories.. "oh hey babe a high-wall nearly fell on me today rocks were coming at me and I had to crawl out of this ditch in the digger..."... NICE. He used to work away 6 on 4 off and do night shift and it was way better than Monday to Friday day shift then weekends off and home every night. Weekends aren't long enough.

Lady Heather - posted on 07/25/2011

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My husband is usually away 1-2 nights a week and that is enough for me. i know a lot of people who do the two week on/off thing and it works for them, but I know it would make us miserable. I'm also a worrier so I don't think I could personally deal with the stress of oil rigs. I have a hard enough time worrying about him driving the roads in the middle of nowhere with all the crazy drivers. yeah...I think though for most people you aren't really going to know if it works until you've tried it.

I imagine the kids would LOVE their dad's two whole weeks at home though. I know mine would love to have daddy home all day like that!

Amie - posted on 07/25/2011

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My husband works in a mine. 12 hour day/nights. 5 days on/5 days off.

The hardest part is his on set. I deal with the very real dangers of him working underground by not thinking about it. He's taken me on tours, I've seen bad ground, crushed cribs from back falls, etc. It terrifies me, so for my own sanity - it's pushed out of my mind.

It also sucks on his 24 off in the middle of a set. He comes home that night, has to stay up as late as possible to try and turn his clock around quick. Then goes back the next night to start working 12 hours again. That's harder on him than it is on us though.

I cope just fine. The kids don't mind and know no different. They love having dad home for days at a time. A lot of their friends don't have that.

With my husband's better pay comes better benefits (pension, stock in the company, dental/eye, etc.), better vacation pay, etc. As he moves up and gains seniority, he also qualifies for longer vacations. There's also bonuses he gets.

It's not just the bigger paycheck that benefits our family, it is all of it.

However, with my husband's knowledge and experience he could get an even better paying job with another company. The reason he doesn't is because of the schedule he would then work. It would be 6-8 wks gone and 2 wks home. That, for us, is too much.

September - posted on 07/25/2011

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My husband works out of town quite often. I miss him and it's hard but I know he's doing it to take care and provide for him family. He is also passionate about what he does so I support him to the fullest. He works late a lot trying to constantly meet deadlines and he's salary so no overtime pay or anything so that can be rough sometimes. However in my opinion it's worth it. He's fulfilling a passion and our family is very well taken care of. We also get to travel with him from time to time, that's always fun!

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