Would you hire a male babysitter?

Katherine - posted on 05/15/2011 ( 51 moms have responded )

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Just saw this on Cafemom. Thought it would spark a good debate. I personally would have a hard time hiring a male babysitter for obvious reasons. The question though is how fair is that?

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Cynthia - posted on 05/16/2011

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my question is what are your obvious reasons? it's not obvious to me. i would hire a male babysitter with no worries. men are as capable as woman at babysitting. i dont understand the difference at all.

Mary - posted on 05/15/2011

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For me, it depends more on the individual, and much less on the gender. I think it's silly to assume that a teenage boy is incapable ob babysitting your child without being sxually inappropriate, and then expect that within 5-10 years they are now miraculously good husband/father material.

A friend of mine is a recently divorced mother of 3 boys, ages 4, 6, and 9. She works 11am to 11pm three days a week, and needed someone to watch the boys from the time they get home from school until she gets home at MN. Her sister is able to pick the youngest up from day care at 4pm, and drop him off at the house. She found a 16 y/o boy who is a friend of the family to be at her house at 4pm, in time to get the other two off of the bus, and meet the sister with the youngest. He does homework with them, and feeds them whatever she has left for dinner, as well as getting them bathed and into bed. Her boys are overjoyed to have the cool, fun guy spending 3 evenings a week with them. He's taken a huge interest in working on teaching the boys a couple of different sports, which, for my friend, is a godsend, since her ex is and artist with a substance abuse issue, and can barely be bothered to interact with them.

I think, in a situation like hers, a male babysitter was the perfect match for her.

Serena - posted on 10/02/2012

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I have an 11 year old son that babysits and he is doing really well with it. He also has two younger brothers. He's pretty good he babysits babies to 10 year olds.

So as the bias mother, yes I would hire a male babysitter

Tina - posted on 05/16/2011

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I'd have a hard time trusting any baby sitter. You just don't know what anyone is really like they might seem trustworthy. Doesn't mean they are.

[deleted account]

My close friend's 14 year old son will be babysitting my 6 year old son over the summer for a few hours here & there. They are truly good buddies, so good with my son, and he wants to earn $$$ this summer. This is a mature, responsible kid that also helps take care of his 10 month old sister! So yeah, nothing wrong with a male babysitter.

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Denikka - posted on 10/06/2012

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My bf had a male nanny while he was growing up. And they're still close to this day.



I have a little boy and a little girl, aged 3.5 and 1.5, and we are just starting to look into getting a baby sitter every now and again. Previous to this, I had only ever left my kids with my grandparents, and my son occasionally went out with his uncle, but we moved out of the province, so my grandparents are no longer an option and my kids uncle is extremely busy (he runs his own construction company) and knows that he wouldn't be able to deal with both kids for more than a few minutes.

We haven't been out as a couple in well over a year, so we figure it's about time to get out every once in a while.

I wouldn't mind hiring a male babysitter. In some ways, I might actually prefer it. My son is super high energy and loves to rough house. His sister is still a bit too young, so even though she tries to keep up, she generally can't.

What I would REALLY love to do, is either hire a couple or a brother/sister team to babysit for my kids. Torin and the guy can go off a rough house, play sports, run around etc, and the girl can take a slower pace with my daughter. I know how difficult it can be to try to keep up with a fast paced, rough and tumble boy, and also try to go slow enough to stay with an easier, more relaxed little girl. It can be exhausting just doing THAT, let alone the actually playing with them part :P

[deleted account]

My son babysit four boys and two girls for years. They loved him, he played with them. Made forts, rode bikes, swam. He kept the kids outside doing sports and playing games. The kids loved him!!! I don't see a debate boys are just as good as girls.

♥TIA♥ - posted on 05/17/2011

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Yes, I have a few men that I trust completely and they are so much more responsible, caring, and patient then most dads I know. Great babysitters, they also have more energy to deal with the kids then most women babysitters I know, whom tend to complain more and most of all, tell you how to parent, when their children are not even close to being half behaved as yours...silly people. But yes, is my answer. And it is only because I know the man very well. Oh, and they know I'd beat the crap out of them, if they do anything wrong upon my parental approval. My kids are my world. I love them dearly!

Emma - posted on 05/16/2011

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If you did your background checks on any babysitter and they were ok, wouldn't matter what sex they were, it's if they can do the job. Ruling out males is almost like ruling out Fathers, Brothers and other male friends & family!

Becky - posted on 05/16/2011

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I wouldn't hire anyone I didn't already know anyway, so yeah, I guess I would hire a male babysitter if I knew him well and trusted him. I mean, I have no problem with the males in my family taking care of my kids, so why should I have a problem with another male? But male or female, I wouldn't hire a stranger anyway. Not now, at least, while my kids are still so young and not fully able to express what is going on.

Sharon - posted on 05/16/2011

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The best babysitter I ever had was a guy. hell yeah I would. With good references, not just from the parents though. But now i've got my own male babysitter, in the form of my oldest son.

Jane - posted on 05/16/2011

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Our favorite babysitter when I was a kid was male. His name was George and he was a high school student from down the block. Unfortunately he was later killed in Vietnam.

My son does a lot of babysitting. He is especially good with the little ones, up to about age 5. People have gotten to know him through his volunteer work in the church nursery, and he has had several jobs based on that.


So if I knew the boy and his family, sure I would hire a male babysitter.

BTW the worst sitter we ever had (don't tell my mom) was an adult woman from a professional service. She ended up getting us locked out of the house in the rain. My brother had to shimmy up the downspout to the second floor balcony to get us back in.

Stifler's - posted on 05/16/2011

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I don't hire random people to babysit my kid anyway. If I did I'd want references and stuff, male or female. I usually just ask friends who aren't working or aren't working that day to watch Logan while I go to the dentist or something he can't come to or while we go out for dinner.

Sylvia - posted on 05/16/2011

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It's not fair at all, of course. (I think you already know that.) There's absolutely no reason that boys, as a group, should be considered less trustworthy with little kids than girls.

Now, if a particular potential babysitter, of either sex, skeeves you out, then you should listen to that feeling. But a teenage boy who likes kids and wants to earn a bit of money babysitting should not automatically be treated like a perv, just because he's not a teenage girl.

Charlie - posted on 05/16/2011

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Yes I would given he had great refrences , experience and similar philosophy to child care .

Donna - posted on 05/16/2011

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Yes I would have when my kids were little if I didn't have parents to look after them. I babysat until I got married and then my brother took over my babysitting jobs.

April - posted on 05/16/2011

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i have only ever had female babysitters and all but one was abusive or neglectful. even my own grandmother locked me in her bedroom one night.

April - posted on 05/16/2011

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the only males i trust are my son's grandfathers and my husband. the only females i trust are my son's grandmothers, my sister and my sister in law.

Bonnie - posted on 05/16/2011

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You know it's funny now that it is mentioned and I think about it. I don't think I have ever seen or known of a male babysitter.

Merry - posted on 05/16/2011

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We don't plan on hiring babysitters, grandma is available if we need time away. But if I needed someone else I'd be looking for family members or close friends before interviewing. And among people I trust there's both males and females. So, no, I guess sex doesn't matter much to me. It's more about the relationship I have with the individual and wether or not I feel they can handle my kids.

Tara - posted on 05/16/2011

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I have had male caregivers for my kids and will again. But they were always close friends and never with just one of my kids. I have never actually had to leave my kids in daycare on a regular basis, but I do think that a male babysitter can be just as great as a female one, and I have a policy with anyone watching the kids and the kids know this policy:
Always together. Caregiver is never alone with any of the kids. There are enough of them that this is always an option. They also make it known to their babysitter, male of female that the rule is firm. (my words for things I won't negotiate on).
So I have no worries either way, male or female. And I think it's unfair to paint all males with the brush of the child molester. God to be a man and be automatically excluded from a job based on your gender is one thing, but to be excluded because you are considered a potential "sex offender" just because of your sex? I am so glad I'm not a man.
How awful to have that label and that assumption placed on you based solely on your anatomy.

Jakki - posted on 05/16/2011

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Yeah! We hired a 15 year old boy a couple of years ago. I knew his mum and his little sister who was good friends with my son.

I liked the idea of a boy babysitter because I think my kids need some male role models and he seemed pretty nice and experienced with kids via his little sister. He took the kids to the park down the road and they all raced around for hours and had a great time.

Eventually we stopped using him when my eldest daughter was about 7 - she said she didn't want him any more because he'd teased her and taken sides with her brother against her.

I think he was just a bit immature.

Now he comes back and does painting for us.

Nicole - posted on 05/15/2011

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I actually DID hire a male babysitter for a bit when my oldest was an infant. He was a stay-at-home dad and I thought he was wonderful! I received several references and I felt comfortable with him. He only stopped being my sitter when he was re-hired by the company he had previously worked for. I liked him better than any of the female in-home sitters I went through afterward. Luckily, my mother took over sitting duties shortly there after and was able to stop searching for the perfect sitter. I think that one should always be very particular and thorough when it comes to picking a sitter for their most precious cargo in the world. Male or female.

Toni - posted on 05/15/2011

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Well...I do understand what the "obvious reasons" are and as a mom of an 18mo old girl, I can tell you that I have a male babysitter right now. He watches her about for nights a week. We are not involved at all and he is not gay. But, he does have a daughter himself. She is 10yrs old. So he understands the whole little girl thing and he would protect my little girl as much as would his own. Also, as a single mom, I really like that my daughter has a positive male figure in her life.

Mel - posted on 05/15/2011

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yes but its majority males its so rare to happen with a female. I wouldnt leave my child with anyone I didnt know anyway male or female

Sherri - posted on 05/15/2011

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Why is it honestly any different just because they are male. I honestly just don't get why babysitting is strictly for females it seems so stereotypical. Honestly sexual abuse can happen with females too, it isn't only a male based offense. Seems to me our mindset is very behind the times.



*Wow was having a major typo issue. Edited to fix all those.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2011

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it really depends if i know the guy or not but i wouldnt hire a complete stranger to babaysit my kids

Christina - posted on 05/15/2011

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Yep, I did. I had just started dating my husband and my babysitter up and quit in the middle of the day while I was at work. My husband had just moved in (we only knew each other a week at that point) and he told me to chilll out, he had it under control. I let him watch my kids while I worked since he worked different shifts than me. A year and a half later, we are newly weds and happier than ever :)

Jenn - posted on 05/15/2011

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Gender wouldn't matter to me. I would just want someone who actually likes kids, and has experience and good references.

Amber - posted on 05/15/2011

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I just typed out a long response, hit post, and got the stupid white screen and COMs ate it! Arghh! I'll try again....

I would never hire a male. I personally had 3 male babysitters. Two of whom are now in jail as child molesters.

All three men were very close family friends. One was a very close friend of my dad. The second was the husband of my mother's best friend. A third was the teenage son of my father's best friend of 20 years. The son used to make lewd, inappropriate comments to me, but the other two never were inappropriate. I'm assuming that's due to the fact that they had access to others girls more easily (my brother was always with me).

The two men arrested were the older, family men. Both upstanding, active members of the community. One was a very, very active member of his church. These were men that nobody expected! It rocked the community when charges were brought.

These men have ruined males as babysitters for me. I can never, ever, hire one. I'm incredibly cautious about the people I do have watch my son. So far, it's only family and one very close friend as occasional babysitters.

The daycare we chose for more regular care while I'm at school is a large one. Children are never left alone with any adult. There must always be two adults with children and are never allowed to be behind closed doors with them at any point. It took me a year to settle on a daycare because I was so nervous about it.

Sherri - posted on 05/15/2011

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Yup certainly would could care less if they are male or female. If they are great with kids sex shouldn't matter.

Kimberly - posted on 05/15/2011

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yes i would, i have a lot of men that are awsome with my kid. i mean the guys that i know i have known them for years and i have seen them with kids. but if it was a guy i didnt know, i would have to be friends with them for a while and get to know them. but no i wouldnt have a problem there is more men in my life that are better with kids than the woman.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/15/2011

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I am super picky but gender is not an issue. I want to know the kid, know the kids family, know other people who have made use of the kid's services, know what training they have and blah blah blah. We had a male babysitter when I was a kid and he was fine. My brother also babysat for a summer.

Jen - posted on 05/15/2011

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Gender of the babysitter woudlnt' matter too much. I've heard of woman babysitters who were horrendous/abusive; ; which included sexual abuse too. So I have no problems viewing females as potential abusers. I dont' think just because a person is female; they'll be a great caregiver.
When i think about it; how many horror stories have I heard about male caregivers? Probably about an equal number as female caregivers.

I'd be just as careful hiring a male babysitter as I would a female one.

[deleted account]

It's not. My son would love to babysit. He loves hanging with little kids and he's really good with babies (has cousins galore). But we know he'd have a very hard time getting work simply because he's a boy which must mean that he automatically is in the category of molester.

No, I know no one said that but that is the reason bottom line. We're worried that a male sitter will do something inappropriate of a sexual nature which is just mean.

AT my son's last daycare (before he grew out of it), there was 1 guy working there. He was my son's absolute favorite because he liked having a guy around for a change. He told me so. He felt it was like a big brother.

JuLeah - posted on 05/15/2011

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By 'obvious reasons' I assume you mean men are far more likely to abuse? It is a valid thing to consider.



Kids need men in their lives. They need to know men as loving, sweet, playfull, care givers .... I'd not have a hard time with a man in this role, but like all sitters' he'd be triple checked out .... so, I'd call his references, and ask them for references, and ask that reference for anyone else who might know this guy. When I was a kid, my neighbors had a female babysitter who sexually abused them .... they were both messed up, but no one ever thought to suspect a woman of this crime.



@Shannin ... I assume you would like him to be gay cause gay men are less likely to abuse? The facts do back that up, but still, triple check all sitters.

Jenny - posted on 05/15/2011

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Sure I would. My daycare last summer was male. With a mohawk, piercings and tattoos too. He was great with the kids and would take them on lots of activities. They went to the beach lots, go kart riding, to the water slides. If he didn't go back to plumbing I would have gladly kept him.

La Sonya - posted on 05/15/2011

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I would have to know him very well, but that is even with a female. It would have to be a family member.

Elfrieda - posted on 05/15/2011

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No, in fact my husband just spoke to the youth leader at our church, asking if she knew any good babysitters. She gave us three names, two girls and a boy. I am so excited!

So far we've only left our 17month old with parents or our brothers and sisters for babysitting. And with that, you always have to consider their schedules and bring the baby to them, since they're doing you a favour. I hate waking the baby up to take him home with us. :( Of course, the downside is that you have to pay the teenagers!

If I had a baby girl, I might be more particular about who changes her diaper, but I have a boy, so that's not really an issue for me.

Alahnna - posted on 05/15/2011

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I have hired a male sitter and I probably will again if his sister can't watch my children. They used to live right across the street from us, they have moved a few houses down now, but they both still come watch the children from time to time and I trust them both.

Katherine - posted on 05/15/2011

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@ Rebecca yeah, I would think males would be sexual predators, that's why I said it wouldn't be fair. I'm not thinking younger males though. I have to get over it.

[deleted account]

Nope. I have some men in my life that I have known for years that I would (and do) trust completely w/ my kids, but I don't trust any new male... and I don't hire babysitters.

Mrs. - posted on 05/15/2011

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Yeah, I'm not sure what the obvious reasons are either. Is this like how some men don't like to have a male massage therapist? Is it because you think all male babysitters are obviously sexual predators?

Anyway, wouldn't matter to me as long as he was good and had excellent references....and I have a girl.

Johnny - posted on 05/15/2011

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Sure. Gender is not one of the qualifications I look for if I was to look for a babysitter. I'd want great references, good history, first aid & CPR courses, I'd like to know the family, and see that the person demonstrates many good qualities. I have never hired a babysitter and won't be doing it any time soon, it still makes me too nervous. I have left Michaela with a couple of her friends to be cared for by one of the dads while all us girls went to lunch once. That's the only time she's been "babysat" and it was a man.

Jaime - posted on 05/15/2011

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There's nothing wrong with using a babysitter once in a while...gives them a chance to earn some money and learn some work experience for the future :)

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/15/2011

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Unless I had to I would not hire ANY babysitter male or female…
But if I had to….I would treat him the same as far as seeing what his qualifications were, and if he was more qualified then the female…then I would hire him..but that is a BIG IF
I am the babysitter or its my mother and stepfather or mother in law

Jaime - posted on 05/15/2011

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I think finding the right babysitter (whether male or female) is something that takes a bit of time and research. I agree that you can't hire just anyone and it's always nice to have a good friend whose teenage son/daughter is close with your family and you already have trust established. But if that's not the case, then ask around or place an ad and make sure that you specify that you're looking for someone with experience (certification or previous experience) with reputable references. I had female babysitters too when I was young, but it really wasn't any different having a male babysitter. Hope that helps.

Katherine - posted on 05/15/2011

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Well I have two girls, I just don't know how comfortable I would feel. Then again if I knew the person it would be a completely different story. Call me paranoid. I wouldn't just take apps and hire though. It is about that time to get a babysitter. Maybe a male would be good, I don't know.

Jaime - posted on 05/15/2011

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I had a male babysitter when I was a kid. He was 17 I think and he was a good babysitter. I'm not sure what 'obvious reasons' are because today there are lots more boys taking the babysitting course than there were 10 years ago.

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