16 month old boy pinching and biting to get his way

Katherine - posted on 04/29/2010

Iv recently been on behaviour management training through work and they recommend there that you use distraction and reward charts to encourage the behaviour you wish him to show you! If he is being nice and kind then give him praise if he isnt then ignore as much as you can and try not to let him actually hurt you so yoiu can just walk away and give him any attention for hurting you!

Rosa - posted on 04/27/2010

I am going through the same thing except it's only directed towards me. I try telling my son, ow it hurts a booboo. He understands what a boobo is and I tell him to kiss mommy instead. It happens when he gets really tired and wants attention?

Good luck with him swiping at other kids...

Jo - posted on 04/24/2010

Wow what a list of responses!

I'm in the genre of parenting that tries to reduce the instances of saying simply "no" to DS; saving it for critical occassions of danger.

Now that does not mean I pander to DS, whjo is now 16 months, not at all. Where ever possible, it means I use two word discipline and/or give alternatives.

Sure I say no, but its "no climbing, no standing on couch, no etc..." so it's a clear instruction. That way they don't get confused. They are trying to tell you something - Just saying "no" says "I'm mad/don't love you" or "I don't hear you". That's the key - figuring out what they are trying to say! More often that not, at 16 months, its the biggies - bored, hungry, tired or in need of a new nappy!

For example, DS sometimes try to bite/nip me its "No Biting, Kissing" - that way he is getting told an alternative. And usually when he's having his just before bed cuddle - then it's straight into bed. I've worked out its actually his way of telling me he's tried and its time for bed!

Agree the article listed above is great. And am a HUGE believer that the "three strikes" rule is in general, utter bollocks. All it teaches kids is that they can get away with it twice!! That's twice more than I am interested in. My parents raised me to know, or be able to judge upfront, what was right or wrong. Mum also believed in not having to shout, so an instruction could be just as meaningful in a whisper. I'm already doing that with DS - you just alternate how you talk - sometimes you ask them to do things in a normal voicel, sometimes in a quiet one. Sets you up later in life for all the instances when you need them to take you seriously no matter what the volume or tone is.

Crystal - posted on 04/24/2010

Excuse me, but spanking is NOT illegal, well in GA anyways. We had the cops called on my mom and the cops told us as long as we were spanked/hit between the butt and knee it was legal.
I was spanked and hit most of my life, but that doesnt mean im going to abuse my kids. the spankings worked when i was younger, when i hit middle school, they didnt work anymore, i would rather have a spanking than my phone taken away.
But as for your question, yes I did try "non-spanking" methods first. They didnt work. I was never "scared" of my parents for hitting me, i simply learned to stand up for myself even more, especially to them. I stopped taking crap from people.
Though i have been "hit" most of my life i will never ever in a million years beat my son. but he will have spanking if they continue to work, for now they are. when he gets older and understands even more i will try to reason with him more. but for now the only thing he understands is spankings and telling him why its wrong

Courtnay - posted on 04/24/2010

i say do it back to them, but gently of course, some babies/kids learn by doing only and saying no thats not nice etc dosnt always work, my daughter was biting and smacking us for awhile, nothing work to stop it, one day she did it so hard, i GENTLY bit her back on the arm ( i mean you could even say it wasnt a bite) but it worked she has never done it to me again.

Decolua - posted on 04/23/2010

 Your baby has a fragile system and the kidneys are one of the most fragile. Baby's kidneys are unable to process a high amount of added salt. Too much salt from sources other than natural foods like veggies and fruits, breast milk and/or formula may damage baby's kidneys and possibly even cause brain damage.

Decolua - posted on 04/23/2010

Good lord! I dot think this is a good debate lol. I personally don't smack my children. I used to get spanked as a child and I can tell you first hand I remember being scared. Some parents do it once and the more they do it sometimes they go a little to far. As I got older the smacking just didn't cut it. And sometimes I got smacked when I told the truth. So I figure I will do something bad since I might get smacked anyway lol. It took me a long time to put myself out there and not be scared of the world. Being smacked and picked on by my father only made me scared to live. I don't have that now, but it was hard. All because of being smacked around. I think some things work for some kids and others don't. Becareful though spanking is illegal is many states! And spanking is not discipline. It is punishment no matter how you slice it. I do have to say I dont spank my children at all. And they are perfect and well behaved. I don't think any child should

get spankings. Personally it is degrading. Especially if they only get worse. And for those who do choose punishment over discipline. Did you try non whacking methods first or go straight to spanking?

Natasha - posted on 04/23/2010

@ Vikki

Smacking a child's hand when they are doing something that puts them in danger or is hurting other people is all that is required.

NOT a beating for doing something as little as leaving a toy outside!!!!! Please try and understand some lessons need immediate consequences. Children will always put up a fight to get their own way and these can be dealt with calmly but again you say your peace once, you give a warning and then what.....in my opinion a smack on the hand believe me they soon learn to listen.

I was treated this way and so was my sister and my cousins. We are all highly educated women with great jobs and a bright future. I nore them are harmed, mentally marked or aggressive.

As the child gets older you need to make sure the consequence changes accordingly.

Mary - posted on 04/23/2010

It depends on the child. My friends children respond to spankings - they don't want them, so the behavior doesn't need to be "discussed" and they don't need to be reminded that it's wrong. My friend doesn't abuse her children in anyway, and they're happy kids. My child doesn't respond to spankings. She responds to a lack of attention. My oldest is now 4, so it's a bit different than a 16 month old, but that's how she's always been - and I have tried spankings. I do have a 16 month old, she wants to do everything her sister does, so stopping her from participating in the fun and redirecting her for right now works. When she doesn't get her way, she gouges and hits - and then she gets her hand slapped. She stops because she is completely offended that I would even consider doing that.

As for biting - my 16 mo has biten twice and both were "love" bites, although neither felt like it. She was/is also teething. The first time, she came to hug me and bit my inner thigh - any parent on here who is against spanking, when that happens to you, let me know if you can count the seconds before you pop their mouth! I doubt it. The second time, she and another little girl (her age) were hugging during gymnastics class and she kissed, kissed again, and then bit down on the little girls cheek. Again, she didn't mean anything by it, but that doesn't make it okay. She had her mouth slapped and sat out of the rest of class. We made sure the other girl was okay and she understood she hurt the little girl because she started crying after seeing the little girl cry. From that, I've learned these tips for biting: 1) pop their mouth and say NO BITING- don't injure them, just scare them. 2) push their lip into their teeth to show them that their teeth can hurt and say NO BITING. 3) (from my mom, who says it worked on me) bite the skin on the back of their hand - not hard, just enough to leave teeth marks - more appropriate for a little older child (closer to two?) - they will think it's funny until they see the marks, once they realize it, tell them NO BITING. And with all of them, remove them from the situation. They don't want to miss out on anything, so that will be punishment to them.

Crystal - posted on 04/23/2010

Well i know LOTS of people who are now parents that were abused as kids, in some way or another, and because of that, they are GREAT parents, and have never "HIT" their child or anyone else's. I guess it depends on the person and whether they WANT to be better than that or not. As for the biting, and slapping/smacking thing, its not gonna work for every kid, but some kids DO understand that its wrong. When my fiance and i play wressle and my sons see's us smacking each other he tells us "no no" then he says "stop" and hes only 16 months old. Then again different children develop at different ages and some are bound to be smarter than others. So i guess it depends on your child. But i can honestly say, my son does not hit or bite anyone anymore.

Christine - posted on 04/23/2010

Welcome to my world! My son LOVES to pinch his way to sleep! Our daughter used to tug on my hubbys earlobe and still does sometimes when she is tired. the boy loves to pinch, smack and bite...but he is selective. My mom and pediatrician both told me this...babies at this age really don't know they are causing harm. they told me he does this cuz he loves me! HA HA! i have scratches and bruises on my arms from him doing this to me. Been telling him NO! when he does this and u know what he does? He points to my nose...like i am asking him where my nose is! TOO FUNNY. Not to concerned as I am sure this will pass, just like all the other ups and downs of raising kiddos!

Jennifer - posted on 04/22/2010

My toddler was doing that for awhile. Especially with me. We started saying "hug" when he would do it and he would stop and hug the person (or our dog) he was hitting. I think by saying "no hitting" or "no pinching" he wasn't understanding the no part because he would do it again and again. It worked like a charm! He actually hugs all his friends at day care now. :)

Sarah - posted on 04/22/2010

But biting your child to teach him not to bite is completely illogical. And so is smacking to teach not to smack. As for whether it works or not, it may stop the smacking, but it doesn't teach that it's wrong. Certainly there's a difference between spanking and beating, but I think it's spanking we're talking about. As for abused kids becoming abusive to their kids? The rate is pretty high. I believe it's nearly all, except for the few who get good therapy for it.

Crystal - posted on 04/21/2010

You wouldnt be biting your child as
punishment" you would be doin it as teaching a lesson, and no one said to BEAT their kid, smacking and hitting are two different things, i smack my sons hand when he smacks me. im not abusing him, im showing him that it hurts and he shouldnt do it.
and the spray bottle is just what someone told me, i have never tried it.
and i did say that i wasnt 100% sure if it was "salt water" that that person saiduse, but it was something that would NOT hurt the child. and i doubt salt would seriously hurt him! lol
but abused kids do not always become abusive towards others.

Emily - posted on 04/21/2010

The first question to ask is in what situation is he biting, pinching, etc? Is it during times when he wants your attention or when you say no, etc? The second question is: what is your reaction? You may be inadvertently reinforcing the behavior by creating a big reaction. It may seem reasonable to pick your child up, put your face close to his face and saying 'No' firmly and talking with him about how that hurts mommy. That is actually teaching your child that they can get your attention by biting you. My daughter bit me one time and I firmly and calmly said 'No' turned my back to her and did not give her any attention for about 20 seconds. That did the trick, she cried and never did it again. Denying your child attention is the most effective and humane way to discourage negative behavior. Vicki is right that consistency is key as well, if you make a big reaction one time your child bites you then they will be persistent in trying to get your attention that way. In your son's case, his behavior will probably get more intense at first (called an extinction burst) before he stops biting and pinching just continue to say 'No' firmly and calmly and deny attention. Walk out of the room if you have to in order to keep him from being able to hit you when you are ignoring him.

As for the corporal punishment discussion, I strongly disagree. First it is not legal to bite your child as punishment! Second, your child may have difficulty distinguishing whether it is a game or not and the behavior may accidentally be encouraged. Of course trying to rationalize gently with a toddler will not be effective either but it is not as though those are the only options for disciplining your child and discouraging inappropriate behavior.

Vicki - posted on 04/21/2010

Is it a fear of consequences, really, or a fear of getting caught?

A natural consequence of leaving an indoor toy outside in the rain is that it might become ruined. This is what the child should learn, not that he will get beat if he doesn't pick up.

You're right, Chrissy, that if there is no punishment, consequences, or discipline, then the child won't care about his actions. What mom and dad don't know can't hurt the kid, right? Physical punishment teaches the child to conceal his misdeeds, and probably to lie about it too. Having natural consequences (a toy ruined in the rain, or perhaps less time for a story before bed due to a tantrum?) teaches the child to have a conscience. It teaches him to THINK about what will happen. Not who will find out, and consequently, dole out a whooping.

Aggression and anger, as you say Chrissy, are normal human emotions. A parent must teach her child an appropriate manner of dealing with these emotions, by way of discipline and also displaying it herself.

Imagine you are cursing and swearing up a storm in the mall parking lot because someone just took the one parking spot you had seen. You probably think this doesn't affect the kid in the backseat. That is, until he repeats your choice words when another child takes the toy he spotted... In this situation, you can explain to your child that you were wrong. It's okay for you to be wrong! It's okay for you to get angry! You only need to display that you have proper control of that anger.

Smacking your child out of anger is not being in control. Your kid knows it. And you can tell him that hitting other children on the playground is wrong. But what about when he's playing alongside this other little boy, who throws sand in his face, which he knows is wrong, and he knows if he did it he'd get a smack. So in that case, clearly, he is allowed to hit the other child. Right?

The original question here was how to deal with a child using aggression to get his own way. Chrissy you seem to suggest that a parent who does not hit her child will only be able to plead weakly and cry for the child to stop. That's very interesting. A mother who does not employ corporal punishment is not a weakling. She does not allow the child to be in charge, or "walk all over her" as you also suggest. An aggressive attack on another child by your own needs to be stopped immediately. Remove your child from the situation. Show sympathy to the child attacked, as someone previously suggested, rather than giving your child negative attention (instead, you should praise the opposite behaviour, acknowledging when the two are playing together peacefully). Explain to your child that such behaviour is inappropriate. He DOES understand at this age. He understands a lot more than you think. He CAN behave. You can even employ a one minute "time out" here. Don't make it rewarding. He is missing out on playing with the other kids. (That's a natural consequence.) Soon, you can send him back to play, explaining what is expected of him. You can also have him say sorry to the other child.

Always, always, be consistent in your discipline. What is not allowed one day should not be okay another day. When you warn the child that you will be going home if he continues to misbehave, and he does not stop, DO take him home. Always follow through, and the child will listen.

Chrissy - posted on 04/21/2010

i reckon im done anyways, just about typed my fingers raw!!!!!!!!

Chrissy - posted on 04/21/2010

he he thats funny cathy!!!! :)

Cathy - posted on 04/21/2010

How you going there Melanie? Are you learning? Lol

Chrissy - posted on 04/21/2010

Its a fear of consequences Vicki, how does any parent expect their child to listen or respect the rules if they dont fear the consequences. If the punishment is not harsh enough, the child isnt going to care about his/her actions at all. As for belittling the child, if they dont want to be treated like that (and at an age as young as 16 months they wouldnt even know the feeling, let alone what it even means), then they need to learn how to behave properly and then it wouldnt happen. The child is supposed to NOT like the consequences afterall, right? Anyway belittling only occurs in the company of others, and i think if i were in the situation where i was in public or around others when my child played up, id rather belittle my child, than have them do it to me through disrespect and embarrasment... and any parent who lets their child do that to them must be totally brainless. As well as that the "fear of consequences" goes on into their adulthood to make them fear breaking the law, and fear doing the wrong thing. So, since when is fear neccesarily a bad thing. As adults, when we fear something, it makes us more aware and careful of our actions and how to prevent bad things from happening, like.... "consequences!!!". Well disciplined people respect the law and respect others. Its exactly the same with kids just change the word "law" to the word "rules".

Aggression. When a parent says "NO" to their child in a very stern tone, that IS believe it or not, actually an aggressive approach. It is not passive nor sweet, why? Because they need to make their child listen. Promptly. For whatever reason.
And Vicki, you are implying that aggression is wrong. So that would mean any parent who speaks to their child like that is wrong. Not only that, you're also implying that a parent is not allowed to display feelings of aggression, anger etc.
A child needs to learn about, not only the whole spectrum of emotions that all NORMAL human beings display, but also that "Mummy" gets angry, annoyed and upset to, and she is allowed to feel that way if she wants. Mums are not just faceless, emotionless, laundry folding house cleaning dishwashers that should let their kids walk all over them. They have feelings to, just like those little brats who get angry and have temper tantrums for no good reason at all. The child will not break in two, crumble or become a mental retard or emotional bundle of nerves or a hopeless case or grow into a violent psychotic maniac, just because his mother gets angry with him for being naughty and gives him a slap for it.

Mum: (in a sickly sweet tone) Sweety, please dont stick your fingers in that power point, you might electricute your self, (meanwhile kid still has finger in powerpoint) and mummy might need to take you to hospital, and then mummy would be very upset.
Mum: Honey, please dont kick that child, it will hurt him very much... (meanwhile kid is still kicking the other child)...and that is very mean.....darling please dont do that... sweety...you shouldnt do that darling....honey, please stop....
Is this how you suggest talking to your child when they are doing something wrong? At what point does the child actually start listening (without using ANY physical force as you seem to condemn), or is he still kicking the stuffings out of the other child?
Please enlighten me.......

Cathy - posted on 04/20/2010

We use the gentle enforcement. So... for instance..OoWW That hurt..please be gentle baby. take the childs hand and gently show the baby a stroking motion of gentle.If the child continues time out in a naughty spot. Good luck!

Vicki - posted on 04/20/2010

Okay, true, not ALL the abused become abusers. That is overgeneralizing. I grew up in a frighteningly angry environment, so maybe that is exactly why I am looking towards methods of discipline that exclude smacking, hitting, belittling, and so on.

Chrissy I am glad that your son loves you and you never had to read a book.

Using fear, the fear of being hit, as a parenting technique just simply seems inferior. I mean, cool, if it works, great. But how about once that kid becomes a young adult and no longer fears parental intervention? Hey, nothing can stop me now. You can go into any high school and see it in work. The time to teach your adolescent is when he's a toddler. Toddlers are much more receptive, and the skills they learn NOW, manners, anger managment, problem solving, all of that effects them for life. There can be some recovery from a bad start but... Well, look at the stories of some children who lived in isolation, never learning to speak or interact. They can be rehabilitated, if only slightly. The brain is making so many connections during these first few years. Every single attitude you display is so important.

I think overall, treating agressive behaviour with MORE agression, is setting the kid up to fail.

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2010

One thing I found that helped with my son when he scratched or bit another child was to immediately shower the other child with sympathy and say Oh, poor (whoever)! This way the reaction centers on the other child and he can see that the hurt child is the one who gets attention. This isn't to say you shouldn't address your child at all. I would reserve the sternest possible tone of voice and possibly taking something away from him or removing him from play so that he gets an immediate consequence.

Chrissy - posted on 04/20/2010

By the way, that last post I did was directed at you, Vicki. And it is very frustrating to know that nearly everyone has these anti-smacking policies and narrow-mindedness, and wonder why they cant control their kids, and they wont even try to implement this method of parenting, to see if it does work for them. But yet they complain that they have tried everything else (besides smacking) dont know what else to do. Well if you havent even tried it, dont judge it or dismiss it.

To Melanie, try this method if only for a week, and see how it goes for you...just a suggestion.

Karen - posted on 04/20/2010

Sorry Vicki I disagree about abused children becoming abusers-that is a major generalisation. It's like saying kids of alcoholic parents become alcoholics.
My dad was beaten and abused as a child, as were his brothers and sisters, and he swore he would never do that to his kids. To this day I think my dad has smacked me once in my life and my cousins say the same.
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, as unfortunately it does, but it is not always the case.

Chrissy - posted on 04/20/2010

It has worked out very well in fact. I have a 12 year old son who does what he is told when he is told, has displayed constant manners toward everyone, never gets into any trouble, is always co-operative and willing to help by offering help, has never back- answered, nor had temper tantrums, never displayed any violent tendancies, never hurt anyone else, never screamed or yelled at me or any other adult or child for that matter. He also displays verbally how much it annoys him to see plenty of other kids who mis-behave, and how he thinks those parents should treat those kids. (In case you were wondering, the same way I think) Not to mention, he helps me look after my 16 month old daughter by helping making her bottles, helping feed her, helping to dress her, playing with her all the time... and will not go to bed without saying good night to her and giving her a hug and kiss, and does the same EVERY morning before he goes to school, without any prompt from me whatsoever. He also does the same with me every day and night, and always tells me he loves me before he goes to school or bed. I have had endless streams of people, friends family and strangers who have seen him, and spent time with him and have given him and I many compliments on his behaviour and my parenting. I did all this as a single mother from the age of 17, including giving him plenty of love and everything he needs and I could not be any more proud of my son and his personality and behaviour. And I didnt need to read some "know it all" book- probably written by someone who's never had the actual experience of raising their own child- to know how to control and raise him. And if you dont think such a child really exists, then get your head out of all those self important garbage parenting books (which you obviously read because you DONT know how to control your kids, or dont have any old enough to prove that your theory works) and take a good look around at all the parents who have been there and have the perfect product of their parental methods, such as myself.....

So, in answer to your statement about how well hitting works for me and my kids, my method has well and truly proven to work.

Christy - posted on 04/20/2010

For the biting issue here is a suggestion that a worker at a daycare told me. Whenever a kid bit another in her class she would put vinegar on the end of their tongue. She said they hated the taste and it sure stopped them from biting.

Vicki - posted on 04/19/2010

Kids that age understand a LOT. Just because they cannot communicate it, does not mean they do not understand. Children who are abused become abusers. Your child will model himself after you, for good or bad. Have you heard of a book called, "How to Behave, So Your Preschooler Does Too,"? Here is a brief exerpt.

You argue, yell, or call people names. Your child learns, "I can be rude." You get angry with your children. Your child learns, "I can get angry with my parents, siblings and friends." You have an emotional outburst. Your child learns, "I can have temper tantrums." And so on. Then, it continues. You speak in a calm voice instead of an angry one. Your child learns, "I can use a calm voice." You take responsibility for your anger. Your child learns, "I can take responsibility for my anger." You show self control in challenging situations. Your child learns, "I can stay calm when provoked."

Anyways. I guess you'll see how well hitting works out for you and your kids.

Chrissy - posted on 04/19/2010

To Vicki, yes i am suggesting that is what you do. It teaches the child that if he doesnt like what he gets, he is going to be very reluctant to want to do it again, especially if he knows it will happen every time he does it. There is nothing hypocrytical about that. As for smacking, how many parents have tried other alternatives of punishment that never work, and the child feels as though they have gotten away with it, because the punishment was no where near severe enough. Make the punishment fit the crime, and make it forceful. Hitting your child does not reinforce them hitting others, it reinforces that you will not tolerate their behaviour, in a quick and simple way. How does anyone expect to talk sense into a child that young, or expect them to understand if you turn your back on them, or take away their priveledges? Kids at that age only understand "NO" and the same actions that they inflict on others. If alternative methods ACTUALLY work, use them. But good luck with that. And Karen you are right, there is nothing mean about teaching your child how to behave properly, even if it means giving them the same treatment that they give to others. If a parent loves their child, they will want to reinforce a proper disciplinary measure, to ensure that their child not only knows the boundaries, but respects them enough not to cross them. Especially if that means giving them a smack. "IF YOU SPARE THE ROD, YOU SPOIL THE CHILD" ... and for any other do gooder parents out there, no one suggests you should beat your kids either, because that IS abuse.

Karen - posted on 04/19/2010

I understand what you are saying Vicki, but when they bite or hit they do not always understand the pain they cause. My mum always did back to us what we did to her, like biting or pinching (obv not as hard as we did though LOL!) My daughter started hitting and pulling hair a couple of months ago and I did it back to her and every time when she cried I used to tell her it hurt mummy too and not to do it. She stopped very quickly as she did not like it. Not saying it is foolproof as my cousin tried to teach another child when he bit him by biting him back and he got told off. It is difficult at 16 months old as they don't fully understand when you try and explain so it is a case of being firm and consistent, don't let them get away with it once or twice and then tell them No, you have to tell them every time. Everyone's parenting style is very different, no one is 100% right or wrong. You have to choose what works for you and stick to it. Some parents ignore bad behaviour and see if it stops, some put them in their cot and walk away till they calm down, some use water sprays (never heard of that one before but as I said, everyone is different.)
Whatever you do choose to do just keep in mind that you are helping them and not just being a mean mummy by not letting them bite you!

Vicki - posted on 04/19/2010

Chrissy Kovic, are you suggesting biting the child everytime he bites? That's being a little bit hypocritical. By smacking the kid when you get mad, you are only teaching that he can get mad and hit, too. As a parent, you should be teaching alternatives to hitting, not reinforcing the idea.

Chrissy - posted on 04/19/2010

yeah i have an idea....give him a taste of his own medicine. And be consistent with it, whenever he does it. As well as that a smack is a great alternative, and being told "NO" very harshly should do the trick too. Thats all pretty simple. Why does just about every parent persist in pussy footing around, and being a goody two shoes doing the "i would never smack my child" routine? Give me a break. You want the child to learn a lesson, teach it properly. Make them aware you mean business, and that you wont any take crap from them. You're the parent, show them who is the boss. Simple

Pinkky - posted on 04/18/2010

I don't believe the spray bottle is a good idea. Again, every child is different, what may work for one may not work for another. I like Baby Center, the article posted in one of the response threads is great.

Jessica - posted on 04/17/2010

hmm. well my 16 month old daughter has been biting, but is very playful when she is doing it. I rub her teeth and tell her NO BITE, or NO TEETH exactly what the lactation consultants said when my girls were about 5 months old and teething and nursing. Seemed to work then, but doesnt seem to work now. my 16 month old just laughs more when i tell her no and that it hurts. i feel bad b/c she is really only doing it in play, when she gets confused with raspberries. I cant say that i am the smartest person in the world, but i do have a doctoral degree and have never heard of salt being deadly to a 16 month old. I would like to know the source of that one. (meaning in writing where someone found it to be deadly). seriously, i really want to know!

Melanie - posted on 04/17/2010

thanks everyone. For the most part his aggression seems directed at myself or my husband so I guess we will continue with our redirecting tactics. I will save the water spray bottle for my cat too! Lol

Thanks again! Melanie

Tia - posted on 04/17/2010

Im not sure about a spray bottle, but each to their own i guess lol. My little girl has just started doing it too, Everytime she does it I tap her on the hand, Not too hard, but hard enough that she knows hitting and scratching is wrong. Good luck x

Vicki - posted on 04/15/2010

I just came upon this relevant article on Baby Centre...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_aggression-h...

Vicki - posted on 04/15/2010

LOL, a spray bottle is what I used to keep my cat off the counters.

Yes, do quickly intervene, removing the child from the situation, tell him "no" and explain to him why he cannot do this. Don't use a spanking to discipline aggression, as this is extremely confusing to a kid. I'd advise against ever spanking, but that's up to you. To make the experience into a positive one, suggest what the child might do instead, opposite to the aggression- playing gently, sharing, saying hello to a new friend. Whatever the situation. At this stage aggression is most likely an inability to communicate needs and desires, so however you can help to facilitate a more appropriate manner to do so will help to decrease outbursts immediately!

Ursula - posted on 04/15/2010

My little girl started this and I won't say that she isn't prone to losing patience with me now and again but I reduced her out bursts by as soon as she did anything like this I put her straight down on the floor and turned my back on her for 30 sec or so then got down to her eye level and told her she has to be nice. It improved her somewhat.

Michelle - posted on 04/15/2010

A lot of times this behaviour comes from the child not having the language or means to express the feelings they're having. A firm no thank you and re-directing from the situation may help. My daughter has only bit once and was not actually attempting to bite me- she was teething and wanted to chew something, saw the seam of my jeans and bit my leg instead! It is most likely a stage that will pass once he gets the hang of expressing himself in other ways. I hope it passes soon for you! Good luck!

Tenille - posted on 04/15/2010

I always try to quickly pick my son up, tell him no and remove him from the situation. For example, if he bites his sister while they are playing, I quickly pick him up and put him in another room. Or if he approaches me and hits, I put him a few metres away, facing away from me. I figure if he learns that he misses out on attention or whatever is happening if he does that, he will eventually learn. When you pick him up and put him somewhere else, it is not done aggresively, just firmly and have him facing away from you (not like a cuddle!) Im sure I didnt just make that up, I have read it somewhere - just dont remember where!

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

I think salt water is a bit harsh, for one salt can be deadly to a young baby!!!!!

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

My son is the same age and has just started to pinch and scratch, he also came up to me the other day in the kitchen and bit my leg!!!! I just say to him "no" really stearnly, dont really know what else to do, i couldnt in a million years smack him altho on the odd occasion i have smacked his hand.

Crystal - posted on 04/14/2010

My mom told me to use Salt and Water in a spray bottle, i think that was it. and Every time he bites, or pinches, spray his mouth with it and maybe he will learn that its not nice that way. IDK lol thats just what my mother came up with for my nephew