Am I the only one that gets dirty looks because I'm a young mum??

Tia - posted on 04/21/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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Sometimes I get really bad looks because I am a young mother, I love my daughter just as much as any other mother, She means so much to me, More then life I would say... Any ideas on how to get rid of other peoples negativity?

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Lauren - posted on 11/01/2012

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stand up for yourself hun. you see them looking at you. ask them what their problem is??



you DONT have to explain yourself to anyone who doesnt matter!!

Iheoma - posted on 10/27/2012

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the 1st time i got the dirty look was at my 1st antenantal classs,i was completely ignored till i spoke up and everybody avoided eye contact,am 23 and to me i feel that anybody giving you the dirty look is just shallow

Iheoma - posted on 10/27/2012

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the 1st time i got the dirty look was at my 1st antenantal classs,i was completely ignored till i spoke up and everybody avoided eye contact,am 23 and to me i feel that anybody giving you the dirty look is just shallow

Lana - posted on 10/27/2012

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I got married when I was 21 and 5 months in I got pregnant. To be totally honest we barely pass for 17!! We will officially be parents at 22 and I RARELY have anybody stupid enough to make a comment!! They do tend to treat me like a little girl and I often put them in their place, but then again I can be VERY intimidating at times. I don't tolerate much disrespect. Giving people who are looking at you crazy a "fuck you" glance back seems to help. lol!!

Liana Joyce - posted on 10/23/2012

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I am 20 yrs old and I have 4 kids. 3 girls and 1 boy.

You can Imagine the looks i receive.

I love being a mother my kids are my world.

I will be 21 next year in march. I have my Equivalency year 11/12 which i completed whilst pregnant. Graduating my Diploma in Legal Advocacy next year, and going onto further studies of a double degree b/a arts/Law.

I have no friends as all my age are not mums and have very different priorities.

My partner does shift work and is home every few weeks for 4 days. We are a young family but we do the best we can and strive for excellence in all aspects of our lives.



Judgemental people are always going to Judge your lifestyle decision of becoming a young Mother. We live in a stereo typical world where appearances are Everything.

As young mothers we are stereotyped with assumptions of How we live our life and how we raise our child/ren and how we came about to be having kids so young.

The best advice I ever received was; be the best of your ability no matter the circumstances.

And honestly thats all you can do. And this is what I live by.

Those people staring at you, judging you are the only ones with the problem. Relax and be sure of yourself that there will always be someone judging you whether your a young mum or just a stranger walking past in the wrong clothes.

Brittany - posted on 06/21/2011

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I am 22 and have a 3 and a half year old.. i get dirty looks all the time or shocked looks when people learn that I have a child that is in pre-school. I ignore all negativity from them. I know I am a good mother (probably a better mother than a large group of moms older than me) and thats all that matters. They can judge all they want, in the end, knowing that I am bringing my child up in a safe, healthy environment means more to me than what they think. Don't let other people bring you down bcuz of your age, do your best at being a good parent/role model for your child and ignore them completely.

Heather - posted on 06/21/2011

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Just encouragement!!, I wasn't married when I got pregnant with my first and everything turned out fine. I'm now old and no one cares anymore. Old bitties just want everyone to be bitter.
I was a semi young mother, I was pregnant with my second and taught at the high school, and the parents were so rude! They were so quick to judge, until we met at parent teacher conferences.

Elina - posted on 05/18/2010

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judgemental people will find any excuse to judge you.
example: i'm an unmarried mom in a mennonite town.

just remember that those who are so quick to judge strangers live their lives in fear of *being judged. we should pity them their inability to enjoy life to the fullest; they don't have you or your daughter in their lives and it's THEIR loss, not the other way around.

Liz - posted on 05/17/2010

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Having had my first at 38, I envy you your youth :) There are often days that I think motherhood is for the young, when you have the energy and resilience to keep going and going and going.........

As others have said, you can't change what anyone else says or thinks, or the judgemental expressions on their faces. You can only change the way you respond to it and that means taking pride in the job you are doing, raising your child, and being confident in yourself and your abilities. What age you've had a child at has nothing to do with anybody but yourself, your child and the people you love and care about. Forget the rest :)

I find it interesting that most of the time, it's the older women that make comments or throw dirty looks.........those who come from an era when getting married and pregnant at 17,18,19 was the norm. It's odd!

Ashlei - posted on 05/17/2010

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I am 22 and get it all the time. People automatically think I am a teen mom, or that I am not married or that I am baby sitting. Who cares. At least when our grandkids are born we'll be young and get to enjoy them.

Debbi - posted on 05/17/2010

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I would not worry one bit about them!! I was 17 when I had my daughter so I know about those looks and stuff. I got them for many years too. I was 39 when I had my son. I still look young, so I don't get the "You're too old" looks this time, LOL, but once they learn my age, they might think it. But I don't care what they think or say. There is always more to a story than what is seen and age has nothing to do with how good of a parent you are!

Kaye - posted on 05/17/2010

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All of you young moms on this thread sound pretty mature to me! I had my kids in my 30's and sometimes I am still one of the younger moms in some groups... women are having babies into their 40's more often these days. But, 20, 30 or 40 years ago, the trend was different and MOST moms were in their early 20's! Hold your head up, you all sound like great mommies and sound like you love your little ones to peices and that's what is important!

Crystal - posted on 05/15/2010

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you are not alone. I had my son at 17, im now 19 and im still gettin dirty looks from people that know nothing about me, The people that do know me, and what all ive been through, see how much having my son has made me grow up and repect people more. i woulnt worry about it. Most of the people giving me those dirty looks, have no idea what all i have changed for my son and how much i love him! they are just jealous, and the others, are just the old fashion ones that think you have to be married first, i wish i had of been, but i wasnt, i cant change it now! lol. But i wouldnt worry about it.

Kirby - posted on 05/15/2010

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I was 16 when i had my first son and 18 when i had my second and honestly my kids are treated just the same as any other child is. But sorry to say those looks dont go away. Im now almost 21 and my oldest starts school next year and im not looking forward to the looks im going to get. Also doesnt help that i have guardianship of my 15 yr old sister and the looks i get when i enrolled her at highschool and other things like i cant be responsible for all 3 of them. Just dont take the looks to heart just do ya best and thats all that counts

Kimeri - posted on 05/13/2010

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I wish I was a younger mom sometimes I am 35 and have a 17 month old don't worry about the looks people are not very smart they are just jealous.

Mandi - posted on 05/09/2010

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I don't get dirty looks but at work one day a customer made me feel like I was a teen mom or something. And also at walmart a guy asked me if my daughter was my sister. wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. I am 23 and me having a kid isn't an issue. My friends from high school find it some big issue like I am to young to have kids.

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thats like having a lip piercing or something and getting looks. there's nothing you can do really. people are always going to judge. not everyone does, but it sounds like maybe you're a little self-conscious about being a young mother? have more confidence in yourself and you won't notice the looks from people

Nikki - posted on 05/05/2010

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I am 25 and have a 16 month old and a 3 1/2 month old. I get the "what was she thinking?" look all the time. I think people are just ignorant or jealous. My kid are my life and i try to focus on that. What other people think doesn't effect the way I feel about my family or the way I raise my kids.

Jessica - posted on 04/30/2010

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I am 23 with 2 kids.. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is 1 1/2. I got a dirty look one day from an older lady and I just smiled. Just because I am a young mother doesn't mean that I am a bad mother. It just means that I have more time to spend with my loved little munchkins. Another thing that made me laugh is after the lady gave me a dirty look my son says 'Silly lady!' :)

Ashley - posted on 04/30/2010

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Ignore it! I was 20 and had already been married over a year when my little guy came but I've always looked young for my age and a lady in a store once said that it disgusted her to see "you and all the other 14/15 year old girls getting pregnant". I just looked at her and told her that my husband and I thought it was just fine to start our family in our 20's and walked away. It sucks getting the nasty glares and comments now but when we're older and people still think we look young we'll love it! =]

Maci - posted on 04/26/2010

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Not at all. I haven't stopped getting dirty looks since I got pregnant. Just think about it this way, we can still run around and catch up with our little ones, and when my son turns 19 I'll only be 35 and I'll still be able to travel around without fear of breaking a hip. ;] Don't let them bother you, you know you're a good mommy, and so does your child and that's all that matters.:]

Rachel - posted on 04/25/2010

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i know the feeling, im a 20 yr old with my 16 mos old daughter. so many people give me nasty looks if im out without my husband, and even then i still get some looks. i will tell you what my grandma told me, when they glare at you smile and blow them a kiss

Natalie - posted on 04/25/2010

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I am 22 now, but I was 20 when I had my daughter. I don't really notice any dirty looks while I am out and about with her though. I would just ignore it, as long as you love your child and they are happy and healthy, I wouldn't let other people make you feel bad.

Lydia - posted on 04/24/2010

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You cant stop others from judging you just as they couldnt stop you from judging them (if you were). As Mums we will all get judged at one time or another - young, old, bottle, breast, smack, shout, accident whatever. If you dont have a problem with being a young mum then why does it matter what others who dont even know you think? Just smile at or ignore them and enjoy life :)

Nora - posted on 04/24/2010

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I think you can get it at any age. I sometimes feel the same way at 30!! But i am very small and petite and i look younger for my age. You just got to learn to ignore it and keep smiling. People will always judge and stare..

Holly - posted on 04/24/2010

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I know how you feel. I am actually 29 but look no older than 18. I once had some random person asked me if it was hard being a mom while still in school. I looked at her and laughed telling her that I graduated from college almost 8 years ago! Just be strong, and ignore people around you. Be proud that you have a baby, and just let them be jealous!

Gloria - posted on 04/21/2010

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i know how you feel im 22 with a 1 year old i don't think i'm too young to be a mom but apparently to alot of people i am. I take great care of my daughter. To me it's not the age that matters but the maturity of the person. Hopes this makes you feel better!!!

Tiffany - posted on 04/21/2010

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jjust ignore them they r just jealous we have pretty babies and they dont i get bad look all the time

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