Baby shower for the second baby?

Samantha - posted on 04/22/2010 ( 91 moms have responded )

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Hello,
I was always under the impression that the baby shower is to either welcome the baby or celebrate the expected arrival of the baby. I'm now pregnant with my second child and my first will be around 20 months when baby is born. My mother and sister in-law said that you only have the shower for the first baby. When I questioned why my sister in-law had one for her last child they said because the age gap was almost 9 years so it was different. I don't mean to sound greedy but I feel like second child is getting ripped off. I'm thinking of waiting until baby is born so we know the sex and then inviting people over to welcome the baby. This way there is still a celebration for baby without having someone throw a shower for me. I'm wondering what everyone thinks about this subject. Would you want a second baby shower? Or do you think the first one covers the second baby? Just curious from other people's experiences. Thanks!

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Rachael - posted on 02/21/2012

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When I was pregnant with my son, my mother told me that it wasn't ok for her to host a baby shower for me back in my hometown. Therefore I ended up not getting a shower because everyone assumed my mom would host it. My husband is a mason, and his lodge threw me a shower, which was super sweet, but not the same as having all of my family and friends celebrate. I have already told my mom that the next time around I expect her to throw me a shower (we have had a few friends whos moms did their showers so he realizes it is acceptable now) So I am definitely having a shower when I have baby # 2. A way around the second baby shower dilema is to have a "sprinkle" which is a celebration of the pregnancy and new birth. You still register for what you need/want because SO many things change. good luck, enjoy and celebrate that baby!

Also, Darlene and anyone else saying showers are for the 1st baby only, Emily Post says otherwise:

http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/cel...

Megan - posted on 11/27/2011

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I think that waiting for the baby is a nice idea, that way you know the baby is a boy or girl, people can see the baby and well a party is always fun. Just call it Welcoming Baby ( insert last name) and those who want to will always bring something but it isn't mandatory. I would only have had a second baby shower if my baby was a girl since my first born was a boy. Of course I had all three boys so that never happened but I hope the party poopers stay away and let you enjoy welcoming the baby happily. Many blessings to you!!!

Amber - posted on 05/05/2010

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I don't see a reason for showers for 2nd+ children. I know a girl that had one other day for her 4th girl (all children under 5 and the same sex). You should have most everything you need from the first one. Your friends and family can and will buy gifts for the arrival of a 2nd but I don't see the reasoning behind a shower or expecting gifts.

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2010

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I always looked at showers at something not to be expected...like a surprise party

Jenny - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have alway thought that a baby shower was really for the mother not the baby??? The purpose of the shower was for the new mums friends and family to help her get ready for the arrival of her first baby.A time for sharing knowledge from those who have been there done that and some token gifts. As she is a new mum she may not know all the things she may need for her new bub, this is what the gifts should be . By the time you have another baby you should know what you need for a new born so there should be no need for a second shower regardless of the sex of your child???

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Amanda - posted on 09/12/2012

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I just had my baby shower on Sunday, for my second child. :) and my first daughter is still young, I say it is up to you if you want to have one or not. I don't see any harm in welcoming and spoiling this baby just as much as you did your first.i believe your second child should be treated just like your first, why should the second be treated less special then the first? Have a shower I say....they're fun and opening all the newborn gifts gets you extra pumped for the big day :)

Bethany - posted on 09/06/2012

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I know this is an old thread, but saves me starting a new one.



It's a bit like the second wedding really. Personal choice. I'll be throwing my own baby shower for my second in the next few months. I love throwing parties so it''s no effort at all. I'm making it a 'second hand' theme, and inviting all guests, if they would like to bring a gift, to make it a hand-me-down, or if they don't have an appropriate item, to hit the charity shops and support them by buying something they think I'll like. We have a lot of great charity shops around here and they're treated like any other store.



It'll be nice nibblies and drinks probably in my garden, where any kids that come can play. No games, I don't really like party games. Maybe a little book or big card for handy hints and advice for us.



I just need to decide if it will be girls only, or all the families. My other shower I organised, and it was come one come all

Caitlyn - posted on 09/03/2012

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I personally have had 2 baby showers, only because my first baby shower was a complete disaster and know one could come so when I got pregnant again a good friend organised another one for me. In saying that, I don't really think having 2 showers is necessary if the first one went well. It is always up to the mum what they want. I think having a get together with people AFTER baby is born is a much better idea second time round. just make sure you have a bit of time to rest and heal before inviting heaps of people around though!

Amber - posted on 08/31/2012

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I don't think it's proper etiquette to have 2 showers. A diaper party/arrival of 2nd child is more realistic. If you've ever planned a shower, you know it's a lot of work. I say if you have a second one, it's kinda rude to burden those who are close to you and burn them out. I'd say go for it, but try to plan it yourself... Unless someone's insistent on throwing the party for you.

Mommyof2 - posted on 03/09/2012

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If they're the same sex, I kind of think you don't need a second shower, but if you want one-go for it! It's your choice and whatever makes you happy you should do. I also think the having a celebration is a good idea as well. But i would make it for both of the kids, a celebration for the becoming an the big brother/sister and the new baby. That way the first child won't feel left out? =)

I only had a baby shower for my first. i didn't want one for my daughter. People just sent clothes anyways. I still had all the baby toys and just about everything I needed excluding clothes.

Belinda - posted on 03/05/2012

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You've got the right idea. Have a party for every to celebrate and meet the baby after he/she is born. There's no expectation of gifts and you get to celebrate your new little one. Everyone's happy!

Tammy - posted on 03/01/2012

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I believe the proper etiquette is first child only, I thought it was to welcome you into motherhood, and provide you with all that you need to do the job right. Regardless of gender, you usually receive the basics the first time around, and when you have baby number 2, 3 and so on, friends WILL come to see the baby and no one ever comes empty handed. I’m quite happy with this, between weddings, bridal showers, birthdays and baby showers; I would never have time for my family if there was one for every baby!

Maureen - posted on 03/01/2012

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I think a second baby shower is just fine. It's not only a way of celebrating, but a way to get some of those things you just can't afford. People have 1st, 2nd and even third weddings so why not for babies? I am going to have one for my daughter in law as she didn't have one for her other two children. My friend had one via telecast for her daughter in law and it was her third child. She was in AZ and we were in MI. If people are against it than don't go. But for those that do, have a GREAT time.

Tara - posted on 02/29/2012

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I totally think it is okay to have at least a welcoming party for any child beyond the first. We had a small party for our second, but none of those people were at the first one. I got mostly clothes as the children were different genders. Even if they had not been, I would hope for a celebration. When I was pregnant with my second, a hurricane came through the state and I gave ALL my girl things away as I was having a boy. Wouldn't you know, I got pregnant with a girl 2 years later!

Tracy - posted on 02/29/2012

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if it a different sex then the first its usally ok its truly up to friends if they want tothrow you one.. or iif is been like a 10 year gap then its ok too (Mom of 5 G got a shower 2 b got a shower due only had girl items 3 g no shower 4 g 13 yrs different in age 5 g no shower yet friend still gave gifts but not party.. working on #6 and younger is turning 7 so if a boy yes but if g np) .. hope that helps

Angel - posted on 02/28/2012

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Ive never heard of that (re: only having a shower for the first). What do I know? LOL. Well, in our family and all of my friends that I know, all babies are preceded with a shower. That being said, it's a time to celebrate and if you already have all of the items you need, that will be evident in your registry listing. Otherwise, you can mention to people that you just want them to come and celebrate this special time with you (I'm sure many will still provide a gift).... But if the 2nd child is a different gender, definitely -- you'll want to have a full-fledged shower.

Rowena - posted on 02/27/2012

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Why not its a excuse to catch up with famil and girlfriends just call it a welcome baby party they mite bring presents or wait till the birth personally I would do both to my friends good luck with your new baby and toddler xx

Kelsey - posted on 02/27/2012

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We did a kinda 2nd shower for a mommy in my family they called it a sprinkle. It was a request to come celebrate with mommy to be but Not big gifts since mommy had tons baby stuff from first shower. We did gift but diaper, wipes, baby bath items. The little things that add up. It was a nice day. In my family we are close we hear your with something extra high chair cause both kids will need it we try to pull a couple people together to help with a expenise and make sure you have what you need. Or your last baby was a spring baby and now you having a winter baby. After sprinkle we made sure she had what we needed if not new/on sale but collect our hand me down so they did not do with out. As for the sprinkle it was a very nice day for the mom and I believe helped the parents lots.

DeeDee - posted on 02/26/2012

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My first shower covered the second but friends threw me a shower for the 3rd because I had nothing for a girl. If it's another gender I wouldn't mind attending a shower for someone who'd already had one. But I love the idea of a "welcoming party" for the 2nd. I don't think people should feel obligated to bring gifts but may if they want to.

Paulette - posted on 02/26/2012

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Of course there isn't anything wrong with a second shower, but I've always heard that there is a shower for the first baby, and then again if there is a five year or more gap OR if the baby is of a different sex. Of course, this is just a "Miss Manners" suggestion, not a rule :) Congrats on your pregnancy!

ANTANEQUA - posted on 02/25/2012

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I truely think having a shower for your baby is fine. No matter how much u have left over from the last baby. Im pregnant with baby boy #4 and i had showers for all my kids and baby #4 is gonna get the same. And yes they are ALL the same gender all sex are BOYS. I have most of my things left from my last child cause he is only 11 months but im taking everything i get for my baby a blessing, cause everything will come into handed. So its ok to do a shower or just a dinner n tell ppl what u want them to bring. Thats how im doing baby shower #4 its a dinner with mostly family from both sides and im tellin them what i need for the baby, and that he shower

Mommy2G1B - posted on 02/23/2012

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i think that if the kids are close in age there should not be a second baby shower unless the baby is the opposite gender but not in all cases. you should have a welcome baby shower instead and most people bring gifts and they get to meet the baby and that seems like more fun then the shower itself. Hows that sound?

Jessy - posted on 02/22/2012

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have a friend throw you a baby shower. if you have all the big stuff, then let that be known in the invites. each baby deserves some new outfits and each baby is thier own person. a baby shower is meant to celebrate a new baby, and hang out with friends. people can choose to attend or not due to thier feelings on the matter.

Shae - posted on 02/21/2012

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I think every family does things differently. But with my family, we have a shower for every new baby. That way it makes you feel extra loved and you also recieve gifts to help you with the things you need. I have pictures and special things from both baby showers that I can pass down to my children when they are older. I don't believe in short changing yourself the memories. I think that you Welcome baby shower would be nice. With my second child, that's what I did, because he was born early and I was soo buisy with my first son's birthday and everything. The Welcome party was great!

Darlene - posted on 02/20/2012

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Etiquette states that a shower is only for a first baby just as it is only for a first wedding no matter what the age difference. People who are important in your life and in the baby's life will come to see you and the baby after he or she is born and they will bring a gift with or without a welcome baby party. Are you getting the baby christened? A christening or baby dedication party is always proper no matter how many children you have.

Beth - posted on 02/20/2012

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Try doing a diaper party. I know of quit a few people that have had those with there 2nd or 3rd child. Because you have all the basics it is just the necessity that you need now. That way people don't feel obligated to by expensive presents if that is all they are thinking about.

Celebrate the new little life that is being brought into this world!!! Congrats!!

Kara - posted on 02/19/2012

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I had a shower for both of my kids (they are 2 yrs apart, one girl and one boy) I don't see a problem with it. We also had a "meet the baby day" after we got back from the hospital.

Heaven - posted on 02/17/2012

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I've always thought of baby showers as kind of a first birthday party for the kid, whether they have older siblings or not.



I'm going to be having one in a couple of days for my second boy. His brother is 3 years old so a lot of the old stuff I have for him is out-dated(according to federal regulations and recalls) or just worn out/broken. His old baby monitors for example, he destroyed them as soon as he could walk and reach them and his old diaper genie is worn out and doesn't do it's job anymore. Aside from that, you're always going to need diapers, wipes, and other similar "we ran out of this a loooong time ago" items that can be a real financial help if given as gifts and stocked up.



From the financial perspective, having a kid around already can make it more of a strain on your wallet to suddenly have to start all those repetitive new baby item purchases.



As Sarah mentioned though, gifts don't have to be a requirement to celebrate the new baby. =D

Danielle - posted on 12/20/2011

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I think of the shower as the way to celebrate a 1st time mom & help you get all of the big, expensive stuff you need for a baby. If the 2nd is fairly close to the 1st, you already have all of the gear & therefore there's no reason for a shower. Exceptions would be multiples after 1 or a large gap where you got rid of your gear. But then you need the gear again.
However, I see no problem having a party to welcome the new baby. I'm Catholic & we had Christening parties for our older 3 children. My youngest got gyped because we just couldn't fit the party in around everyone's schedules. At the Christening parties, we got some religious gifts, gender specific clothes, & bonds/money.
My 1st 2 are 21.5 mos apart, the 2nd 2 are 16.5 mos apart & the last 2 are 4.8 mos apart. They are now almost 11 (3 weeks), 9, 7, & almost 3 (next week).

Jaclyn - posted on 11/29/2011

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Your mother and sister in law are correct. If you really just want to celebrate the baby, then why call it a baby shower- a baby is to shower a new mother with gifts. I like how you state that because #2 does not get a shower they get ripped off. You really think your child will remember lol it sounds like you are bothered because you want the gifts. If you really only want to have a celebration for the baby, then don't call it a baby shower and state please no gifts.

Jaimie - posted on 11/09/2011

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I had a second shower for my second child however it wasn't about gifts it was about celebrating him. My kids are 2 years apart and I have 2 boys so I really didn't need anything. However, I did believe my second one deserved to be celebrated so my best friend threw me a shower but it was a come celebrate this second pregnancy and no gifts. It was so much fun.

Beth - posted on 07/28/2011

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My girls were 13 months apart. I had a big shower for my first and a little get together for my youngest. My grandma had a big fit about my wanting another baby shower but I needed diapers, wipes and bottles for the new baby so I just threw my own shower. We are hoping to try for baby #3 next June so we'll be having another shower since our daughters are almost 3 and 4 now, we won't have anything for the new baby lol

Carla - posted on 07/11/2011

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I responded to this post when I was pregnant with my 2nd but I am responding again being pregnant with my 3rd! :) Well, I think every baby should be celebrated and welcomed and I know I certainly need things for this new one (another crib, mattress, etc...) but I want to have more of a "Girl's Night Out" this time! Gifts optional ;)

Karenda - posted on 07/11/2011

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We had a baby shower for our second baby - we let our three year old throw it and make decorations so she would be involved feel the new baby. I also wanted my second daughter to have pictures of a baby shower in her baby book just like her sister and too have some special items just for her. It was a smaller party, but I'm glad we had one for her as well. I've heard of a lot of people having a welcome party for second babies after they are born.

Kristy - posted on 07/08/2011

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i say go for it every baby deserves the same treatment and i my self have a 2.5 yr old who will be 3 when the neww one arrives but im asking for nappies wipes and lotions etc or a small cash donation in a wishing well so if there is anything i really need that i dont have i can get it ie gender specific clothing as we did not find out the sex i love the surprise lol but do it really just do it i weas thrown one for my first and am throwing my own this time

Mary - posted on 07/06/2011

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I def. think the point of a baby shower is to welcome the baby no matter what number it is. And if you need some things for the baby, your friends and family should be willing to help you out. Ya, I don't think it's fair that only the 1st baby gets a shower, weird...

Mary - posted on 07/06/2011

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I def. think the point of a baby shower is to welcome the baby no matter what number it is. And if you need some things for the baby, your friends and family should be willing to help you out. Ya, I don't think it's fair that only the 1st baby gets a shower, weird...

Rebecca - posted on 07/04/2011

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Samantha i don't see anything with having shower for each child. A shower is to celebration the life of the child to come. You will always need something.Every baby needs wipe and pampers. I had a friend who had a sprinkle instead of a shower because she did not need a whole lots. Have fun. I know when we plan to have a second child if no one has a shower my husband would be honored to doone.

Rebecca - posted on 07/04/2011

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Samantha i don't see anything with having shower for each child. A shower is to celebration the life of the child to come. You will always need something.Every baby needs wipe and pampers. I had a friend who had a sprinkle instead of a shower because she did not need a whole lots. Have fun. I know when we plan to have a second child if no one has a shower my husband would be honored to doone.

Jeannie - posted on 05/07/2010

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I had a tecnically 4th baby shower, I have a 20 yr old, 18 yr old, 5 yr old and now 17 month old, I had a baby shower with the 1st, 3rd and 4th ones. with the second one we had just moved so we were away from family and friends. You can send out invitations and specify that it is just to celebrate the pending arrival and gifts are not neccesary. That you just want to celebrate with family and friends. You can choose to wait until the baby is born but then the baby will most likely get over stimulated with to many people at one time. Every child deserves to have a celebration and if the mother and sister in-law give you a hard time about it they don't have to be a part of it. I know it sounds harsh but it's just my opinion. Oh and anyone that thinks that the baby will not know about it is right until they get old enough and look back in the photos of mom and dad's life and sees the first party celebrating the pending arrival of the older child and wonders why they didn't get one, and yes it does happen. My second asked me why there wasn't a party for him, I couldn't say that people only think the 1st child is special enough to have one, thankfully it was only because we moved out of state. So that he could accept. Good Luck and congrats with your new baby. :)

Darcy - posted on 05/06/2010

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I think every child deserves a wonderful welcome no matter what birth order. I was blessed to have two for my first (one local, one where my family lives) and one for my second. Both girls, over two years difference. It's recorded in their baby photo/scrap book. : )

Janna - posted on 05/06/2010

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You should celebrate however you feel appropriate and let your friends and family do the same. Any baby is a precious gift and should be celebrated. I had 2 baby showers (1 at work, 1 from close friends) for my second child- and it was the same sex- so I really didn't need much as I kept everything. They are 2 years apart. It is nice to get some new clothes just like I had for my first son and the double stroller has really come in handy! Congratultions and good luck!!

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2010

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in my family everyone of the new babys gets a shower cause each one is differrent....each one is special and they need to know they were special from the beginning...

Judith - posted on 05/05/2010

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Consider calling the second shower "a blessingway." This honors the new baby's imminent arrival and the mother's special connection with the new baby without the focus on gifts. I have attended several baby blessings (which, btw, need not be in any way religious) and organized a few that focus on pampering the mother, offering special thoughts and wishes for the new babe and reminding the mom-to-be that she has a loving and supportive community.

Aimee - posted on 05/05/2010

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My baby boys will be 19 months apart and my mom and sister are throwing us a small shower to welcome our latest addition. This time around it will be much smaller and with a different group of people (friends from our new city vs. friends and family from where we used to live) than the first time so I don't feel too bad. As I see it, it's only right to have something for this baby--whether it's a shower or what have you--as the point of it is to gather and fellowship with loved ones to welcome the baby and show him/her how much he's already loved, not so much rack up on loot.



If you or your family don't feel comfortable with a full blown shower you could always do a diaper/wipes party or a casserole party since diapers and food for post-delivery is something all babies/families need, regardless of what number it is. So bottom line, I see nothing wrong with a second shower or baby party! Each baby deserves to "feel the love"!! :-)

Maggie - posted on 05/04/2010

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I also feel like you do, but you know "tradition" is sometimes a terrible thing! A welcome party sounds like a wonderful idea!

Melynda - posted on 05/04/2010

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I am having my second in a month and a half and am being pressured by friends to have a shower. I really don't want one but think it is sweet of them to think of us. Another option to show off a baby is a sip and see. When you show off your baby to a group over lunch or whatever. Congrats to all who are expecting!

Lindsey - posted on 05/04/2010

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I had a big shower for my first then i had a little tiny one for my second bc my first was a girl and second a boy it was a baby sprinkle is what i called it and it was put on the invite gifts on expected but people did bring stuff but it wasn't really a BIG baby shower..like i had for my first

Seren - posted on 05/03/2010

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Traditionally a baby shower was thrown for the first baby and the intention was that all the women shared their knowledge, wisdom and the art of becoming a mother! But these days everyone does what they like, have a party - call it something else if people get offended and celebrate the birth of your new arrival! I didnt get to have a shower with my daughter as she was born at 32 weeks, but ill have a celebration when i have another baby!!!

Heather - posted on 05/03/2010

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I like the baby party idea. I had a shower for my 2 my and and not my first. I was new to the area when I was due for the older had more friends in the area when we had the baby

Melinda - posted on 05/03/2010

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I say you just do whatever you want to do, and forget what everyone says you are "suppose" to do. There is no rule set in stone on how you are suppose to do it.

Anissa - posted on 05/01/2010

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I agree it's def ok to have another shower. Especially if it's a def sex. but either way a baby shower is a party celebrating the baby before it comes for mom and baby. just because you have another shower doesn't mean you have to have tons of gifts or even big gifts. plus a lot of things for babies have an experation date, like carseats.
I def would have another shower even if people didnt bring gifts, just to have the party for the baby's baby book. i would just put on the invite that gifts are optional.

Laura - posted on 05/01/2010

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I think that "proper etiquette" is a shower for the first baby and that's it. I think because the idea was to set up the new mom with all the things she needed and "shower' the baby with gifts. That said, I think our society is a lot different now than it was when those rules were written. Mothers face a lot of different circumstances such as a large age gap between their children, knowing the children will be a different gender, or simply economic needs. Also, I think as a whole our society is more materialistic now than before - we love spending and a baby is a great excuse. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and I did have a 2nd shower. Most people accepted it because my son was preemie and I missed my first shower, but even with that there were a couple of people who were actually offended by that and didn't come. I say do it, just be prepared for some possible backlash and chalk it up to old style values and don't be offended by those who criticize. BTW, I think there would be nothing better to wait til the baby is here unless the shower is need based. Simply because everyone would love to actually meet the baby! Good Luck!

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2010

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I am pregnant with my 2nd child and my daughter will be about 23 months when it is born. I'm not planning on having a 2nd shower but I LOVE your idea of a welcome baby party! That is an excellent idea! I was also thinking of having a get together to reveal the sex when we find out this summer. Just a little cook out with the cake colored on the inside for whatever the sex is. I got all gender neutral large items with the exception of bedding and clothes. My sister is also pregnant with her 2nd (first one is 12) and her new mother in law is having a shower for her b/c this is the first grandbaby in that family. My family will all be invited but we aren't having a separate shower for her. I just personally HATE showers of any kind. I intentionally did not have a wedding shower b/c I hate showers so much! Anyways - an idea if you do have one is to have a diaper/wipes shower. We did this for a girl at work who had gotten everything else on her registry from her overzealous family. It turned out really nice. And that is typically what I buy as a gift for someone having another child. Good luck to you and Congratulations on your 2nd baby!

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