Baby shower for the second baby?

Anissa - posted on 05/01/2010

I agree it's def ok to have another shower. Especially if it's a def sex. but either way a baby shower is a party celebrating the baby before it comes for mom and baby. just because you have another shower doesn't mean you have to have tons of gifts or even big gifts. plus a lot of things for babies have an experation date, like carseats.
I def would have another shower even if people didnt bring gifts, just to have the party for the baby's baby book. i would just put on the invite that gifts are optional.

Laura - posted on 05/01/2010

I think that "proper etiquette" is a shower for the first baby and that's it. I think because the idea was to set up the new mom with all the things she needed and "shower' the baby with gifts. That said, I think our society is a lot different now than it was when those rules were written. Mothers face a lot of different circumstances such as a large age gap between their children, knowing the children will be a different gender, or simply economic needs. Also, I think as a whole our society is more materialistic now than before - we love spending and a baby is a great excuse. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and I did have a 2nd shower. Most people accepted it because my son was preemie and I missed my first shower, but even with that there were a couple of people who were actually offended by that and didn't come. I say do it, just be prepared for some possible backlash and chalk it up to old style values and don't be offended by those who criticize. BTW, I think there would be nothing better to wait til the baby is here unless the shower is need based. Simply because everyone would love to actually meet the baby! Good Luck!

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2010

I am pregnant with my 2nd child and my daughter will be about 23 months when it is born. I'm not planning on having a 2nd shower but I LOVE your idea of a welcome baby party! That is an excellent idea! I was also thinking of having a get together to reveal the sex when we find out this summer. Just a little cook out with the cake colored on the inside for whatever the sex is. I got all gender neutral large items with the exception of bedding and clothes. My sister is also pregnant with her 2nd (first one is 12) and her new mother in law is having a shower for her b/c this is the first grandbaby in that family. My family will all be invited but we aren't having a separate shower for her. I just personally HATE showers of any kind. I intentionally did not have a wedding shower b/c I hate showers so much! Anyways - an idea if you do have one is to have a diaper/wipes shower. We did this for a girl at work who had gotten everything else on her registry from her overzealous family. It turned out really nice. And that is typically what I buy as a gift for someone having another child. Good luck to you and Congratulations on your 2nd baby!

Nicolle - posted on 05/01/2010

I dont see the problem with it at all. You are paying money for the venue, the food ect, people have a good time, why not.

Bettina - posted on 05/01/2010

Sorry but that is the BIGGEST line of BS I have ever heard. I think you should have a shower to celebrate the arrival of your "new" little one no matter what the birth order is. Its beyond me, how people would revolve a birth celebration around "A Gift".

Katy - posted on 05/01/2010

Oh, I was gonna add... A friend of mine is preg with her 6th, and there will be a shower. I do think that is a little excessive, since the other 5 are all under 6. The new baby will have pleanty of stuff, possibly even some from each child that was unused!

Katy - posted on 05/01/2010

As tradition goes, i think the rule is that there is a shower for the 1st baby. The second baby can have a shower too, if the sex is different (1st=boy, 2nd=girl). OR if the 2nd was born a considerable length of time afterwards, & parents had to sell or give away baby things.
....but that's the traditional way to do things. Many people are straying from old fashioned ideas, especially one like this. If you would like to have a party, maybe call it a "baby welcoming party" or something like that, and put on the invitations that gifts are optional. It's YOUR baby, and YOU'RE the one doing all the work to have it. So if you want a party, go ahead! You will/have earned it!

Rachel - posted on 05/01/2010

i had a shower 4 my 1st baby and loved it we had games and eats it was really nice 2 c my friends b4 baby came along have a great nite b4 the sleepness nites started. i'd def like 2 do it again wen we plan 2nd baby, even go along the route of a girls nite in b4 baby arrives that way if ppl would like 2 bring gifts its up 2 them but at least u have a gd nite wid the girls xx

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2010

I always looked at showers at something not to be expected...like a surprise party

Margo - posted on 04/30/2010

Personally its a new baby so you should get a new shower right?
Course most people luck out with a shower for the first, noone bothered to throw me one for either baby, so have fun with it, call it a welcoming to the world party, gifts optional! that way they wont feel obligated to give a gift and more than likely will bring one :)

Deadra - posted on 04/30/2010

I don't really see why the second child shouldn't get a shower too. They are just as special as the first child and deserve stuff of their own too not just using the first borns stuff. I agree that it is a celebration of the new coming....you could always put on the invites that it is a celebration not a shower and only bring a gift if they really want too.

Jenny - posted on 04/29/2010

I have alway thought that a baby shower was really for the mother not the baby??? The purpose of the shower was for the new mums friends and family to help her get ready for the arrival of her first baby.A time for sharing knowledge from those who have been there done that and some token gifts. As she is a new mum she may not know all the things she may need for her new bub, this is what the gifts should be . By the time you have another baby you should know what you need for a new born so there should be no need for a second shower regardless of the sex of your child???

Janice - posted on 04/29/2010

HI! I agree with you. I am pregnant with my second baby (32 weeks pregnant) and my first born is 17 months :-). I am having a second baby shower. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Second babies deserve a baby shower or baby welcoming too! :-)

Carla - posted on 04/29/2010

My daughter will be 19mo when my son is born and we're having a shower, but it's gonna be more low key. We're having a co-ed BBQ and it'll be more of a baby celebration although we do need some things (another mattress, double stroller, and some other little things). I know people who have showers for every child and I like going to them and I see it as a small way to help someone with their new baby and to be a part of the experience! Every Mom needs a little help ;)

Mindy - posted on 04/29/2010

i never had a second baby shower. my son is 5 and my daughter will be 17th months on the 9th of May.

Carrie - posted on 04/29/2010

In my family we do one baby shower and then after that you call it a diaper shower and tell everyone to bring diapers or wipes. Wich definitely makes things easier

Mindy - posted on 04/29/2010

I'm in the same boat- my son will be 20 months when the new baby arrives, and we're having another boy. The difference is my first baby was premature, so he arrived before I ever had a baby shower! My Mom thinks it's distasteful to expect a shower for the second baby. Granted, we really do have everything we need, but I want at least one shower! People have suggested an idea mentioned earlier, a "Diaper Shower."

Zara - posted on 04/28/2010

I had two kids and I had a shower for both kids. My family has always been that way! I have 5 nephews and one niece and we had a baby shower for everyone of them!! One of my friends didn't get a shower for her second and I thought that was crazy but now that she is having a girl she is getting another shower!!

Zara Nichols
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4AHappyLife.com

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2010

yeah, that's a good idea. every baby can use diapers, and the parents can relax a bit knowing they have lots of diapers to get through for a while

Grace - posted on 04/28/2010

When my sis had her second child (about 22 months after first baby), we gave her a diapers and wipes shower with just a small group of close friends.

Naomi - posted on 04/28/2010

I have six children. Friends have given me a shower each time. The first three were all in the same place and we lived in different places for the last three. If someone wants to give you one- by all means have a party! If not, have your own after the baby is born. Each one always needs diapers and wipes and other items that get used up. If you don't feel right about getting gifts, just specify no gifts.

Jessica - posted on 04/28/2010

The 2nd baby deserves a shower just as much as baby #1. I do agree with you on waiting until after the baby is born, to make it more of a celebration.

Kathryn - posted on 04/28/2010

I totally agree. My sister's have had a baby shower for each of their children, one has 2 and the other has 4.
If you wait until after the baby, I think its called a sip and see shower....I beleive it comes from England. We did that for my sister's last baby and we still played games, the only difference was that the baby was there for everyone to see.
If the sex of the 2 babies is different, they you might not be able to reuse some items.
I am pregnant with my second child at this time, and I expect to get a shower. I am not asking for 2 or 3 like most people get for their firt children, I am just asking for 1.

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2010

have one. there is nothing wrong with it. people don't have to buy expensive gifts, and it's not about the gifts anyway. people always get hung-up about money they have to spend, it's ridiculous.

Laura - posted on 04/28/2010

Honestly I've never heard of that. I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my third child and my family has already planned a shower for this baby. My daughter will be 23 months old when this baby is born and both my other two babies had baby showers. Not to sound mean or anything but maybe they're just being cheap lol. Or maybe that's just the way the family tradition is. But the way I was raised is that EVERY baby regardless is welcomed into the world with a shower.

Virginia - posted on 04/27/2010

Let me point something out- do you celebrate your birthday every year? Would you not have a birthday party for your second child? A baby shower is to celebrate your child's real 1st birthday! You are NOT being greedy! If you don't need anything for the second baby, and let's face it you will still need stuff, then put that in the invite like "No gifts necessary, just friends and love!". Tell your sister-in-law to shut her trap and party on for your awesome miracle!! I hope you have a blast!! :-)

Tarina - posted on 04/27/2010

If it is a circumstance of need, like your oldest is say, 8, and you just dont have anything anymore like your sister in law... or if you just had a baby then get surprised with twins the following year... you are going to need a few things sure.. but If its just to get more stuff so the baby doesnt feel left out, then honestly in my opinion it is as you said, kind of greedy. The baby doesnt know if people came to a party, and doesnt care if the toys are new or recycled from big brother. People assume you have things from your recent baby that will fit, toys they can play with, etc... that your older baby is now grown out of, and there is no reason for that to go to waste. Dont misunderstand my point though. There is nothing wrong with wanting some new, special things for your new baby that the other doesnt/didnt have! Remember this: People will bring gifts for the new baby whether you have a party or not, its in our nature. But giving people more intimate time with you and the baby once he/she arrives may prove to be more meaningful than another shower where you wont really have time to speak to half your guests and too busy once the baby is born to remember to send thankyou cards. Have a small welcome home party a few weeks after the birth once you have stock of what you may need a few extras of and you are feeling up to entertaining guests. That way people can bring something they think the baby will love, they will know boy/girl, and neither they nor you will feel like you are simply begging for more stuff that you already have. It sounds like your heart is in the right place :) I think an after birth party sounds like just the right thing in your situation!

Jodene - posted on 04/27/2010

Hi there - I'm pg with #2 as well, and my first born (a boy) will be 21 months when this girl makes her appearance. We had a "welcome to the world" part for my son when he was about a month old, and we'll probably have the same for this child. I had originally thought with it not being a "shower", people wouldn't bring gifts. Boy, was I wrong. This time, only difference being, we'll probably say "no gifts, please" or something similar, since we have all the toys we could ever want for #2 and just need some new clothes. I'm all about the celebration of welcoming a new baby into the world, not about the party/gifts aspect of it. I know some people will ignore our "no gifts" request anyway. I would.. lol

Kealy - posted on 04/27/2010

I agree that a 2nd shower is fine, espeically if the gender is different or like me, I had 2 girls 22 months apart, but my first was a premie so they fell at different seasons for sizes, so a lot of what I had for my older one was the wrong season for my younger one, and like some one else mentioned diapers, wipies, soaps, ect are always nice, and every child deserves a welcome party.
We have had the same conflict in our family where people think that you should only do one, and if someone gets more than one than others get their feelings hurt if they didn't get more than one, so that is the hard part.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/27/2010

I've always been under the impression that the baby shower is more like a celebration into motherhood. Thus, the reason they typically only happen for the first born.
However, I recently have had three friends who had boys first and are now expecting girls. We threw them baby showers which helps them out financially as they welcome girls into their families as they don't have anything feminine to clothe the babies with. =)
I'd definitely go with the welcoming party, but I'd also be wary of allowing people to hold the new comer at the event...more of a "see, don't touch" policy (I could tell you the horror story here, but I'll save that).
Bottom line, do whatever YOU are comfortable with and that will make you happy and allow you to celebrate the wonderful gift about to come to the world.

Kim - posted on 04/27/2010

I am also expecting again on June 1st with my second son. My mom told me the same think. You only have a baby shower for the first one. Well, I disagreed and threw my own baby shower. I just had it Sunday. It was a big hit. I actually had more people show up to this one than my first one. I ask for diapers and wipes since I am having another boy I have everything else. So now I am set for a while with diapers that will save alot in cost being that my other son is 16 months old and still in diapers.

Melissa - posted on 04/27/2010

i am 32wks pregnant w/ my second baby. my son will be 18months and my sister is throwing a baby shower for me. mainly because im having a girl this time around and i dont have anything for a girl but if i was having another boy i would still have a shower. its a celebration of another life. when it comes to gifts, you may want something that you didnt get with your first child. i think it would be a good idea to have one even if its not about gifts. good luck with everything and congrats!

Stacey - posted on 04/27/2010

my sister in law is having a second baby shower. I think it has more to do with the fact that our MIL loves to spend money on us and threw the shower for her. Plus she's had the first grandchild and now she's having the first grand daughter on both sides of the family. I think it has more to do with that than anything else! LOL

Shelly - posted on 04/27/2010

I had a 2nd baby shower. I see nothing wrong with it. Why should your first baby have a celebration with friends and family and not your other children. Thats really not fair. Fine dont bring gifts just have a get together to celebrate the new baby. What I don't understand is people are so dead against 2nd showers but everyone that comes to see your new one brings a gift anyways, so what's the difference. I never go to meet a new baby without a gift. Everyone that was against my 2nd shower brought a gift anyway when they came and seen my 2nd child. Do wahtever you want. Invite who you want and I tell ya right now the people that don't show, will come after the babe is born and they WILL bring something. So like I said what is the friggin difference.

Jodie - posted on 04/27/2010

I would want to have another baby shower. I liked your idea though of having a get-together after the birth (A lot of baby showers used to be and still are after the birth anyway cuz people didnt always know the gender) If you dont feel comfortable asking someone to throw you a shower or want to throw one for yourself then I would def go with the "Yea! The Baby is Here!" party. I'm sure people will WANT to bring gifts. Do it!

Samantha - posted on 04/26/2010

I personally think that every baby deserves a shower, but second babies that are really close to their older siblings don't need as much, so perhaps you could 'advertise' it as a welcome party.. and not as a means for you to collect the needed things...
Also, any new baby needs diapers, and clothes (specifically if they are of a different gender than their elder siblings), wipes, bathing supplies, and several other small items that is always helpful to a parent who now has to support two children on the same budget that provided for only one child.
I like your idea of having a welcome party for your new baby.... I'm not sure what I will do since I am living so far from family and friends and expecting around christmas time again.. perhaps by then I will have some more friends.

Jenna - posted on 04/26/2010

if you want skip the shower and call it a welcome baby party. it takes the pressure off gits and what you can do is put it out there to anyone who asks if you need anything a small list a few ittems you may need. people will buy stuff for the second little one no matter what. my boys will be 20 months aparts and I am debating on having a baby shower in my hometown this time. before I had it up here with mostly some friends and my husband's family and a few members of mine that could travel. this time around I may get away with another shower because I think I 'm planning on going to my my hometown and seeing all my old friends and all of my other family. good luck to you!!!

Celeste - posted on 04/26/2010

my son will also be 20 months when my second is born. I dont feel right having a shower because I just got so many gifts two years ago and really I dont need anything for the new baby. Everything I got for the first baby was gender neutral though except for clothes.

I do think it is okay to do a birthday party after the baby is born so you are still celebrating the new baby and gifts are optional. People associate baby showers with big gifts but at a meet the baby birthday party people might feel more comfortable buying something little or just showing up to see the baby.

Katy - posted on 04/25/2010

I don't see a problem with having a baby shower for whatever number child your on. However, what I have been told is that you can be thrown a shower for the first and second baby but that after that you are not "supposed" to receive any more showers. I say if someone is willing to throw you one don't worry about it. If someone doesn't throw you one

Nora - posted on 04/24/2010

I just dont see what is wrong with having a second one. I see it more as celebration rather than receiving a lot of stuff.

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2010

I agree with you... sorta. Most people think of babyshower as having to give a gift. I think most people think its not neccesary to have a 2nd baby-shower because you already have all the stuff you need. (unless there is a large time lapse)

Now if the 2nd baby is a different gender, then yes I could see a 2nd baby-shower.

HOWEVER, I do agree that a shower is meant to be a celebration of a new baby. People are just stuck on the whole gift thing. You can try having a baby party after you have a baby as like a welcoming party.

I don't know what it is, but people seem to only like the first born. PS. I love showers, I will/do always go. Doesn't matter if its the first or the 19th, I like the celebration and family time.