Closing door at night

Marlana - posted on 09/14/2010 ( 42 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 21 months old and if we don't close her door at night she will not go to sleep. Both my husband and I can still hear her when she gets up (she hollors mommy and daddy). Our home is very child proof and she has been walking over a year now and she can open her door as well. Well after all of this is said and done, some of my husbands family think that simply closing her door at night is child abuse? What do you all think?

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Jennifer - posted on 09/21/2010

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Ask a local fire department what they have to say about this and then report back to family. FDs say that it is fire safety to keep the door shut. I didn't know this until recently... If there's a fire in the rest of the house, it keeps the fire from the children. Try that approach with it and maybe they will be ok with your decision.

Jenn - posted on 09/30/2010

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Why would that be child abuse? That's almost funny! I close my girls door at night and they're just fine. LOL

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Kimberlyschuler91 - posted on 08/26/2013

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I have a 6 year old lil girl and after my divorce from her father when she was 18 months old she started sleeping with me even though she has always had her own bed. I am happy to say that she is now in her own bed but I have a boyfriend who is trying to encourage me to shut her door at night because she has a tendancy to get out of her bed at night especially when my guy is over visiting. I understand some of his logic behind it but I am still having real issues shutting her door at night. I have tryed a few times and she panics and has this look on her face that I can't stand. Any outside thoughts would really help. Thanks

User - posted on 05/08/2012

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I don`t think it is child abuse at all. Do what you feel comfortable with .
I had a huge bed , I was a single Mother for both my kids a daughter 17 now and a boy 9 now.
I always had my kids sleep with me , even though they had their own room. I loved knowing they were safe and warm . I also loved that they felt better knowing I was right there if they had a nightmare.
Alot of people looked down upon that, and said it wasn`t right to have the kids sleep in my room .
I just stopped mentioning it to people , and kept on doing what I thought was ok .
Alot of people close the doors to their childs room , it`s ok , just keep a little light on. take care

Jade - posted on 09/29/2010

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this is defo not child abuse ur child is not bein harmed by doing this my son is the same will not sleep with door open he cant quite get his door open but i have stair gates in place for when he does as for ur husbands family they need to understand every parent and child are different and they should let you get on and be a parent in the way you want to be if you need help you wil ask for it if not they shouldnt get involved in the parenting side of things trust your instincts shes your daughter you know whats best

Jayme - posted on 09/28/2010

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I have 3 kids and the 4th on the way. ALL of my kids and my husband and I sleep with our doors closed. Tell your family that it is recommended by fire and rescue that all doors be shut. It is for their saftey :0) It is true too. But we do it for quite. All the kids go to bed at different times and it helps to have the doors shut.

Lisa - posted on 09/28/2010

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Don't listen to them....she is fine. I close my daughters door as well. She is a light sleeper and would wake up from dogs walking around or us coming up to bed. We think it is fine.

Rana - posted on 09/27/2010

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Abuse! Ofcourse not..She is a human being. If this is what she prefers to sleep with the door closed then its up to her. For me, i always choose what makes my baby comfortable so that she sleeps and behaves better. Closing the door keeps night time more serious.

Addie - posted on 09/27/2010

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I don't think it'd child abuse at all!! We close my little girls door, but we took out the thing that makes it latch and that way it can be closed, but she's not locked in...

Darcy - posted on 09/26/2010

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I haven't had time to read all the answers, but closing doors is a safety issue! In case of a house fire, it's important to have the doors closed! My girls sleep with the door closed. And I wish we could close our door, too, but we have cats and they want access to our bed and our bathroom where their litter box is. We did fix the garage/house door because the previous owners put a kitty door in it, making it no longer fire resistant. I guess what I'm trying to say is with this fact, there is NO WAY you can consider closing the door child abuse!

Rosemary - posted on 09/25/2010

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From DAY 1, our sone has slept in his crib, in his own room, with the door closed. Even today, he will go to sleep, fully awake, in a darkened room. But he does have a fan going and a noise machine on.

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Close the door!! This is ridiculous that someone claimed child abuse. My daughter is 21 months old and we have had her door closed since day one. We also have an older house that creaks and it helps her sleep better, hence mom and dad sleep better -- happier family!

Heather - posted on 09/25/2010

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Closing the door is not child abuse. My son will not go to sleep unless it's shut and dark in his room. Don't worry about what they say; she is your child and only you and your husband knows what is best for your child.

Rebecca - posted on 09/25/2010

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I close my sons door at night and my sister does the same with her son. It's safer if they wake up before you wake up and they cant get into anything other than whats in their room. Also, if there was to be a fire in your house it is sooooooo much safer to keep all bedroom doors closed, it slows the fire from entering the room.

Brandi - posted on 09/25/2010

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it is not abuse.. bryson sleeps with me and we keep my door close.. and sometimes when he goes in his room to play he will close his door. it all depends on the child on what they like! as long as she sleep through the night with her door close and yall can still hear her i think it is fine!

Louise - posted on 09/25/2010

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HI UM FIRST OF ALL CHILD ABUSE IS WHEN U BEAT A CHILD UP NOT SHUTING THERE DOOR AT NIGHT,NO AFENCE BUT YOU HUSBANDS FAMILY SOUND A BIT WERID....I SHUT MY SONS DOOR EVERYNIGHT HE DOESNT MIND AT ALL HE HAS A NIGHTLIGHT AND HIS MUSIC AND CUDDLES SO HES VERY SAFE MY SON IS VERY GOOD IN THE MORNING HE JUST PLAYS INTILL I GET UP AT 8.30 BUT I THINK WHAT YOUR HUSBANDS FAMILY HAS TOLD YOU IS STUPID AND DUMB...DONT TAKE THERE ADVICE...

Gyllian - posted on 09/24/2010

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If the only thing they can knock you on is closing a door at night then you must be doing something right!!!
I could understand them feeling that way if she was freaking out about it being closed and you were forcing it on her.. but my son sleeps with his door closed too... why do i want to disterb him ? Its hard for a littleone to shut there brain off and go to sleep if they can hear everything thats going on in the house around them.

Shawnali - posted on 09/24/2010

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i was always taught when I was young that shutting the door was the right thing to do anyway. god help us if it were to happen , but if a fire breaks out in your home the door being closed keeps the smoke out longer and feeling the door if its hot hot lets you know not to open it..... Shame on your inlaws for ever saying shutting the door is child abuse.

Littlelevy24 - posted on 09/24/2010

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my daughter is exactly the same way. if i dont close her door she will get up and come out of her room to play. i always had to have the door closed from the time she was born if not she would cry untill i closed it and now she just comes out if the door is not closed. that is the only way i can get her to sleep she will not sleep any where else except in her room lights off curtains closed and door closed if not then she will not sleep it is not child abuse.

Fiona - posted on 09/24/2010

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it is certainly not child abuse! im amazed your inlaws would say something so terrible to you,my daughter has always had her door close at night and she likes it that way,dont let anybody ever tell you what your doing is wrong or make you feel that your abusing you child

Lia - posted on 09/23/2010

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My daughter is 21 months old and we always keep her down half way closed, but closed or not closed it doesnt bother her..its in no way, shape or form child abuse though, c'mon!!!!

Desiree - posted on 09/23/2010

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Mommy and daddy know best. I keep my foster girls door closed or she won't sleep, I also have a child proof knob thing on the inside, if I don't she will roam the house at night. She is just over two.

Stefanie - posted on 09/23/2010

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An additional thought, I don't know if your daughter is still in a crib or toddler bed, but if she wakes in the night and wanders out of her room, she could accidentally fall and hurt herself. Particularly if it is dark in the hallway, she's sleepy and her room is near stairs (like in my home). Again, do what you believe is best for your child and hopefully your husband is supportive of you and strong enough to encourage his family to keep their opinions to themselves.

Vicki - posted on 09/23/2010

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Sounds pretty ridiculous.
I've never really closed doors completely at night, but recently my son has been wanting it so! Before bed, he will make sure all the lights are off and his door is closed. He can't turn the knob so he does get stuck if he closes the door on himself, lol... but he lets me know. It is just fun for him right now to make sure the door is closed before bed!

Stefanie - posted on 09/23/2010

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First of all, your husbands family is ridiculous for even suggesting this is abuse - considering the horrific abuse some children have experienced. That being said, I close my daughters door (not latch) but somewhat closed. I never liked my door shut as a child and don't shut it as an adult. However, I was always brought up a closed door is safer in case of a fire in the home. Regardless, take what other ppl say into consideration if you want, but you are your child's mother, you have to raise her the way you think is best - if you second guess yourself you are in for a very long hard journey.

Alison - posted on 09/23/2010

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I'm 31 and up to a few years ago I couldn't sleep if the door was open even if it was only a crack. It never done me any harm. Both my childern have had their doors shut from the start and both have no trouble sleeping and will play by themselves when they wake up.

Davina - posted on 09/22/2010

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I don't think it is child abuse I think that it is good parenting because closing the door at night and at nap time lets other people who come over know that you have a sleeping child I close the door when i put mine to bed it not only because it is bedtime but it helps keep the noise down a little bit and keeps animals and other people out of his room

Christina - posted on 09/22/2010

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My son hurls himself against the stair gate. There's no way in the world I would leave his door open!

If she can open the door herself, where is the problem? Tell your husband's familly to take a stroll my friend!

Christina - posted on 09/21/2010

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That is definitly NOT child abuse. We have shut the door to my daughters room ever since she started sleeping in her crib. If her door is not shut, she does not sleep. Its the same routine they get use to just like if you read and bathe them before bedtime. Its part of the steps they know to go go to sleep. Every child and family are different. Your not hurting your daughter in any way, thats ridiculous.

Kelly - posted on 09/21/2010

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We close our daughter's door, she's still in her crib so walking out isn't an issue...but we're in an apt with her room near the main living room so noise is. I don't think it's child abuse, and if it works it works!

Angela - posted on 09/21/2010

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well if your daughter has the ability to let herself in and out of her room and yours it isn't abuse, plus it is recommended to shut ALL doors in a home at night, in case of (god forbid) fires!! you all do what you need to to keep your little guys safe and settled.

Heather - posted on 09/21/2010

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I close my son's door for his own safety. He just moved to a toddler bed, and sometimes when he wakes up he tries to get up and walk somewhere right away. He's still pretty out of it and will walk into things or fall down when he does this. There's nothing he can hurt himself on in his room, but once he comes out there's a bathroom, stairs, etc - lots of things that are hazardous. It's definitely not child abuse.

Jo - posted on 09/21/2010

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who ever told you that clearly needs their head read - that comment is all about them, not you. Sadly, something yukky may have happened to them behind a closed door - or that's my first reaction to an otherwise ludicrous response.

We've always closed his door - he doesn't go to sleep otherwise as if he sees the lights on , he wants to be part of the action. between thin walls between the bedrooms and a monitor in the lounge room we hear EVERYTHING in his room...

Melanie - posted on 09/20/2010

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My son is the same...he wants in is bed with his pacy and the door closed!!! It is not abuse!!!

Chelsea - posted on 09/20/2010

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My son is 22 months and I have closed his door since day one, I usually dont close it until it clicks but I close it and shut off the hall lights so its dark and quiet for him... If not he wont sleep at all! He's gotten used to it and thinks that when the door is open that its not time for bed. I dont think you should feel guilty at all about this, its allowing your child time for silence. Darkness is a great thing for sleep too because it allows the brain to shut down into a deeper sleep and so your child will wake up feeling more energetic and well rested.

Danielle - posted on 09/18/2010

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we close our daughter's door at night with a show on, but when we go to bed and all is quiet we open it. I don't think you're abusing your child if you close her door. Kids want to know what's going on and sometimes leaving the door open is just inviting them to find ways to keep themselves awake. You could even compromise if you feel like you're being pressured by the in laws and try just leaving the door open a crack and turning on a tv. It drowns out a lot of the noise. We put cinderella on or something, and before the movie is halfway over our daughter is out like a light.

Ella - posted on 09/17/2010

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No that is not child abuse and its silly of them to think so. I close both my babies doors when they sleep and always have. I leave our door open and can see both their doors from my bed but it helps them sleep better because they wont be looking out the door trying to see daddy and me walking by.

Amanda - posted on 09/17/2010

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My 21 month old is the same way. If the door isn't closed then he just comes wondering out of his bedroom. I don't think it's child abuse ... that's silly. I don't know very many people who DON'T close their childens' doors. Don't listen to them. You raise her how you know :)

Brandi - posted on 09/16/2010

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My son has always had his bedroom door shut at nap and bed time!! I just keep his baby monitor on so I can hear him if he wakes up!! My husband works nights and him up and roaming around at midnight would be sure to wake my child up! I don't think it's abuse to shut their door at night!

Judy - posted on 09/14/2010

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Both our children have had their bedroom doors closed from day 1. We can hear them perfectly well when they wake and don't come out when they are put to bed. They love the dark, it helps them sleep well. Stick to it, closing the door is not child abuse.

User - posted on 09/14/2010

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Um noooo! Our son is the exact same way. He wont go to sleep unless it is completely dark and silent. He loves the door shut! We keep his monitor on so we can still hear him at night, and when he wakes up he will just go over to his toys until we go in and get him. He is very independent and loves it. Dont worry about what his family thinks, you are the one raising your child. Not them.

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