He wants to be held ALL the time!

Brittany - posted on 03/05/2010

He has two naps a day, usually 2 hours both times. Once at 10:30am and another at 3:30pm. He gets plenty of sleep but does sometimes act as if he hasn't. Right now he has two ear infections so I can understand why he's clingy and fussy but I'm still at a loss for every other time that he isn't sick. I tried by picking him up and talking to him while I'm cooking dinner and whatnot but as soon as I put him down he screams. He has plenty of toys out of his playbox to play with but he doesn't seem to want anything but the stuff he can't play with. Which makes matters worse because he screams when I take it away from him or stop him from getting into things. As a younger baby he rarely EVER cried, I'm just trying to figure out where it all came from.

Susan - posted on 03/02/2010

What about naps?? Young toddlers generally need 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. That's only 9 hours of night time sleep. Is he napping at least 3 hours a day?

Nicholas goes to bed between 7 and 8 and wakes around 6---so 10-11 hours a night. Then he usually takes 2 naps of an hour each. On average he gets approx 13 hours of sleep a day.

If he's not getting enough sleep, that's going to contribute to him being whiney and fussy all day.

Susan

Brittany - posted on 03/02/2010

He used to go to sleep at 9 every night but lately he wont go to sleep untl 11ish, no matter what I try. He sleeps through the night and wakes up at 8am.

Susan - posted on 03/01/2010

It sounds like he needs your attention. If it doesn't get it, he acts out---so he gets it. If you give him the positive attention when he needs it, the poor behaviour should reduce...but remember he's still a young toddler and he learns by doing the same things over and over and over and over again.

On a side note.....how's his sleep?

Susan

Brittany - posted on 03/01/2010

Lol he just gets so cranky. And if he doesn't get his way he freaks out and is bad all day. Touching things that he knows he shouldn't and doing things in spite of me saying no. I'm a new mom so I guess I just have to learn my ways and figure out what's best for him as far as my parenting.

Diane - posted on 03/01/2010

i have twin girls and they both have their moments of wanting attention, one more than the other, one wants cuddles as security as she is quieter and shyer where as the other is boystrous and wants cuddles to get attention...i obviously ensure trhey are ok but then leave them to it if they cry, for instance if i am in the kitchen and they are in the next room with only a gate separating us i talk to them saying what i am doing and this seems to settle them, if it doesnt and they still cry i close my ears !!!!

Tiffani - posted on 02/28/2010

When I need to get chores done I give my girl stuff to do to help. If I'm in the kitchen I open the cupboard so she can play with all the tupper ware or the boxed food. If I'm folding laundry I ask her to hand me a piece from the basket so I can fold it. Give her dust rags ect.. If she has "new" stuff to do she isn't as interested in being held all the time. But some times I do just get to stop and cuddle.

Jessica - posted on 02/27/2010

my 1 year old does this also but only if he's very tired...I usually pick him up and we give huga a kisses and play for little bit and I put him back down...i learned with my 4 year old that it's ok for babies to cry and sometimes thats all you can let them do!!! i would try to find out if he needs anything like a diaper change, a cup, or a snack..maybe even a nap and if that wasn't what he wanted give him some toys and place him in a safe area and let him play and satisfy himself..all moms need a break

Ashley - posted on 02/27/2010

I agree with Susan whole heartedly. Some ppl think that I 'spoil' my child by always 'giving' my baby her way. by giving i mean, when she cries I always stop what I'm doing to pick her up or 'fix' the reason she is crying. They say that I'm just giving her way or that I am just doing it to make her stop crying and by doing that i am 'spoiling' her. Really I just love my duagerter, know that she wont be like this for long, know that she is a person to and her needs are important. This I think makes them Indipendant and confidant because they are tought that they are important and they matter..

Brittany - posted on 02/26/2010

Thank you, that helps a lot =).

Susan - posted on 02/25/2010

Holding babies doesn't spoil them...it teaches them that they are loved, to feel secure and to trust you as their caregiver. To Spoil---means to go bad...food spoils, babies don't.

I've held and worn my son PLENTY(and still do!)...and he is is very independant and by no means shy! We went to a restuarant with a play area today. He wandered and played very independantly the entire time we were there---about an hour for play. In fact, when I picked him up, he wanted to be put back down. He'll even go to his great aunts whom he sees rarely(less than 1x/month) because he knows that if I'm letting them hold him, then it's safe. In psychology, we'd say he has a secure attachment to his parents. I do lean more to "attachment parenting." According to The Baby Book, by Dr Sears, "Attachment parenting fosters independence. Attachment parenting implies respoinding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggest responding inappropriately. The spoiling theory began in the 1920s when experts invaded the realm of child rearing. They scoffed at parental intution and advocated restraint and detachment. They felt that holding a baby a lot, feeding on cue, and responding to cries would create a clingy, dependant child. There was no scientific basis for this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions......Studies have proved it wrong....Group A was securely attached, the product of responsive parenting." (page 12)

I suggest you look for some books by Dr. Sears. Him, his sons and wife have all contributed to the Parenting Library. He and his sons are pedi's and his wife is a nurse. He and his wife have 8 children---one with special needs, and I think 1 was adopted too. Their website is www.drsears.com It's WONDERFUL!

Also since he's teething---he likely doesn't feel the best. When you're sick that's when you want someone the most. Sit and cuddle with him...he needs you to hold and love on him. They grow up so fast, and you NEVER get this time back. Nicholas is my 2nd child, my oldest never came home from the hospital. Again--i'm telling you that babies don't wait.

I've got a BS in both psychology and early childhood education. When I did my psych degree, I focused my course work in child development and education.

Susan

Brittany - posted on 02/25/2010

Yes he's teething but I was told by my doctor that if I continue to hold him then he will get spoiled and will always want to be held. I want him to grow up to be independant and not shy so I'm trying my best to help him along that path.

Susan - posted on 02/24/2010

Hold him....He obviously needs the cuddles then for whatever reason. Dust bunnies can wait, babies don't wait.



Do you have something like an Ergo that you could wear him while you get things done?



Susan

Natasha - posted on 02/24/2010

Is he teething?
My son has always been clingy, however when he learnt to walk he got a lot better...until recently. He has all his eye teeth coming in at the moment and it's at the stage where I have to give him a cuddle or pick him up every 10 mins. I am hoping it is a stage and once his teeth are through he will change again.

Naomi - posted on 02/24/2010

My little man also does this. I try to play peek a boo by crouching where I am (usually the kitchen), or "Where's Van?" which he thinks is hilarious. I can still get what I'm trying to do done when I distract him this way, but sometimes that just doesn't work. I then pick him up for a quick hug and kiss, say I love you but Mummy is busy and put him down. Which again only works sometimes, then you just have to ignore the tantrum. The good thing is that its just a phase - promise!! Soon enough we will have to beg for cuddles... Hope this helps, it works for me but may not for everyone.