I need some advice about bedtime PLEASE

Kim - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is having trouble going to sleep at night he screams not matter what. We have a pretty good schedule that we follow but bed time is dreaded. I am still breastfeeding but he dose not want to nurse before bed anymore. If you try to rock him to sleep he fights and screams. So we have just been putting him in his bed, telling him we love him, wined up his mobile and leave him. He will scream for over an hour. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to make bedtime less dreaded?

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Cassi - posted on 08/07/2009

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I think I am a little different in opinion than some of these others. I do not like letting my baby cry. I have read and been told over and over that by trying to tend to their needs instead of just letting them lay there and cry shows them that no matter what you are there and that you are trying. I am not saying the anyone who lets their baby cry is a bad parent, this is just how I am as a mother. And yes, I am sometimes overprotective and overbearing with my boys, but I am okay with that.

My 7 month old used to sleep so well in his bed, we would just put him in there at night and down he would go. Here in the last month or so though it has been rough. I usually give a bottle right before bed(this is posing a problem too because we just switched from strictly breast to bottle) and then give him his pacifier and stand and rock him witha blanket against his cheek. This gets him to settle down. Usually at this point I can't put him in his bed yet so I lay next to him on my bed and rub his eyebrows, this pretty well just forces the lids to shut. As he is dozing and not yet asleep I gently pick him up and put him in his bed. This usually works. Sometimes if he's still wide awake after his bottle I let him play in his bed for a while and put in a baby einstein movies, my son loves these!

All babies are different. We also have a 4 year old, who does sleep in our bed. This wasn't because he wouldn't sleep in his, but more because he was very ill as a baby and we felt more comfortable with him next to us. You don't want to get that started though. You should always put your baby in bed not quite asleep.

Instead of nursing maybe try putting some breast milk in a bottle with some rice cereal to fill that belly up. Full bellies make tired babies!

Good luck!

Kesha - posted on 08/07/2009

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every baby is different. my son was very difficult to get to sleep, so we gave up and let him sleep with us. that worked, but now he is almost four and we are having a hard time getting him to sleep in his bed!!! my daughter, on the other hand, will nurse and fall alseep as long as i am standing up (she gets very heavy!), then i lay her on her tummy and pat her to sleep. it works great and she sleeps throught the night. a routine helps a lot. she knows that after her bath, it's time to sleep. sometimes, though, she will fight it and not want to go to sleep. those are the nights that i have to let her cry it out. that certainly isn't easy, but it works (for the most part). I honestly hope you figure something out. I know it's hard.

Lydia - posted on 08/06/2009

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Playing in the cot is good to help them associate it with good feelings. We do the same as you but if she doesnt settle in about 5 minutes then we retuck her in and put a hand on her back until she settles (if she spends a long time on the verge of sleep then I sometimes put a soft toy or book on her back to replace my hand and just remove it later once she is sound asleep). Good luck though - nothing more stressful than listening to bub scream themselves to sleep ;(

Bronwyn - posted on 08/06/2009

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Not sure how helpful this will be but i have a few toys in my daughter's cot. When i see the signs of her getting tired I read her a few books so that she gets into a calm state and can antisipate that bedtime is coming. I then give her her blanky (she wont sleep without it) and put her in her cot to play. She will play for around 5-10minutes then just drift off to sleep. This routine took a few days as I had 2 teach her 2 be comfortable in her cot and stayed and played with her dropping back a little each time until she was independant. My daughter now knows her cot is a happy and safe place where she can deal with the feelings of being tired. Its lovely because now when she wakes I hear her playing happily and babbling to her toys instead of crying at being alone. Im sure this wont work for all babies but it could be something to try. good luck and would love to know how you go with whatever you decide to try!!

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my son did that to it was really hard everybody tells you they will calm down and eventually learn to sleep but noah never did he just got worse. I ended up getting in the crib with him or laying in my bed with him till he calmed down and was almost asleep then would slowly move away little by little. Then after a few days of that I would lay him down and just keep my hands on him but if he starts to get upset move back and just slowly but surely move father away till hes falling asleep by himself. Its the long way but its far less crying and stress. The is a book called "No Cry Sleep Solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley that was very helpful for me. Good luck.

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