My 16.5 month old is throwing things at me and laughs

Community - posted on 06/08/2010

Hello Ladies,

Thank you for contributing to this thread, but we are closing it so that it does not get out of hand. Please remember that Circle of Moms is a safe place where moms feel comfortable sharing personal information about their lives and families. And since you're an important part of our community, we ask that you contribute to this as well. This means refraining from personal attacks--even when provoked and checking your gut before posting to make sure what you're about to share adds real value rather than taking it away.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Circle of Moms Community Management Team

Elsie - posted on 06/07/2010

why can't we all just get along? isn't it enough our kids are abusing us? we're here for comfort not confrontation... My son doesn't throw stuff thank god, BUT he will touch anything he knows he shouldn't ie: stove, laptop while i'm usuing it, turn the tv off while i'm watching it, try and grab my utensils or cups when i'm eating, he's just everywhere jumping onto and off of everything. If he's sees I don't approve, whether it's a look or if I tell him don't touch (I never really say no, because it ends up becoming redundant and losing meaning to kids, I try to tell him exactly what i don't want him to do) he will look at me, laugh and continued the disapproved action. It seems spiteful but I think he really just thinks it's funny.. but then sometimes just a firm tone in anyone's voice around him, if it sounds repremanding in any way, he will put his head in his hands like he's sad... it's weird... anyone else's kid do that?

Amanda - posted on 06/04/2010

i'm totally sick of my son throwing food on the floor when he eats and when he's done with it, along with his cup and spoon and anything else he can grab while in his chair. that seems to bother me the most. telling him no does absolutely nothing, lol

Adriane - posted on 06/04/2010

My son throws everything! No joke. He throws things on the tile floor in the kitchen, he throws food when he's done, he throws his spoons and cups on the floor --- and yes, he throws things at me. I don't really know what to do either other than tell him NO and remove the object.

Amanda - posted on 06/02/2010

lol use the phrase "or beat" after the word spank just once and get accused of saying it over and over. that's silly.
the only reason this ever started was because you want to call mothers (and fathers) who choose NOT to *hit* (sugar coat it all you want, but it's still hitting when your hand comes in contact with their bodies) their less-than-two-year-old children "soft." we have found that we do not have to hit our children to get them to stop, and it works better than any physical punishment ever will because it doesn't leave a mark on their brains or their skin.
not to mention you've called me stupid.
this is obviously directed at chrissy, and for the record i have never once directed anything i've posted at jenna, until the beginning of this post.

JENNA - posted on 06/02/2010

she keeps using the word beat. a spank on the butt or hand is far from a beating. we should jus end this conversation and try not to comment on the same post to avoid conflict, redirection is a good word for that.... we obviously have different views and we can jus leave it at that. my first comment was never meant to start a war on how to discpline your kids. only having one makes it a whole lot easier as well :) my lil angel

Jakota - posted on 06/02/2010

My 18 month-old is throwing things at me and his siblings as well as hitting them on the back with hard objects and he thinks its HILARIOUS!!! :(

Amanda - posted on 06/02/2010

wow, you're just a bit overboard aren't you? i don't know of any parents that are being put int the hospital because of their 18 month old acting out because they can't express their feelings. and i rally won't get into your conspiracy theories about the Supernanny show. really i was using that as an example of how to teach your child that certain behaviors are not ok, and how those techniques DO work. obviously you can't use the same kinds of techniques on 18 month olds because they will not understand. they live absolutely in the moment. and yes, throwing biting kicking is just a phase that they WILL grow out of if you continue to let them know it is wrong. how do schools keep children under control? they aren't beating them or spanking them or whatever you want to call it. they set rules that are to be followed, and if they aren't followed, there's a consequence.
redirection works with EVERYONE and even animals. when you put your hand on a hot burner and get burned, you realize that maybe you shouldn't do that again. same as using a spray bottle on a cat to train them not to do something. if you do something, and the outcome is unpleasant, it's just instinct to NOT DO IT AGAIN. hello! duh. it works on rats, monkeys, dogs, you name it. you just have to stick with it very strictly for their whole childhood. the reason kids get out of hand is because parents start to slack on their follow through with consequences.
not to mention people want to take their exhausted child to the grocery store to late at night or during their nap time and then spank them or yell at them for throwing a fit, and how is that ok?
bottom line: i never once called anyone a child abuser. and regardless of what you use spanking for or how you use it, it is scary for the child, or there would be no use for it in the first place. and obviously your child is not going to suddenly hate you or never hug you again if you spank them, but they will be afraid of you. ask any two year old if they want to be spanked and they will run.
for the record, Supernanny's techniques are designed specifically for that family that she is working with, and i believe there is a disclaimer at the beginning of the show that says just that, and if someone is trying the techniques and it's not working, they are either doing it wrong or there's something else behind the issue. there's always something behind the issue on each show.

JENNA - posted on 06/02/2010

Thank You Chrissy!!! Couldnt have said it better myself

Chrissy - posted on 06/02/2010

Oh and Super Nanny is a load of Super Crap. Ive eaten harder marshmallows than her tactics. "THE NAUGHTY CHAIR/STEP" Like, they gotta put the kid back on it about 50 times, when the kid keeps getting up usually kicking and screaming, and refusing to stay put. Other mothers staying up in the middle of the night for HOURS and HOURS trying to make their kid listen, and stay in their cot, to try to enforce the Super Nannys method. And dont forget, the cameras are not always running. If they did actually make the kid stay on the chair/ step or stay in its cot when being told, they probably used some other method OFF-SCREEN to bribe them. Or heaven forbid, she may have had to instuct the parents to smack the kid (with the camera on standby) Kids as bad as what they gave examples to, do not just give in easily or at all. Not with her methods. Not without hours of screaming, headaches, and lost sleep. And you actually think that when they film the family AFTER Super Nanny has been there, that they are going to film all the bad parts (like when the kids are still mis-behaving) and let Super Nanny look bad. I dont think so. When they do a review on that family afterward, of course they're going to make it look like she performed a miracle, and it wouldnt be hard to get the family together, to make them look like a happy little unit. Especially when they show the parents running aound playing with the kids, doing stuff the kids are obviously going to enjoy and be looking happy doing them... and probably with the promise of something nice after the taping, to bribe them into co-operation if the kids decide to be difficult. You dont honestly think, that all of those families had such a sudden magical turnover, from Super Nanny's "life-changing" visits in that short amount of time, with those methods. How many parents have done the exact same thing as her over weeks months and even years, and actually gotten the peace and harmony that they guarantee. From what ive seen and, thats exactly how most parents "teach" their kids everyday anyway, and they're still waiting and "hoping" for their child to "grow out of it"...... and is Super Nanny even a mother herself???

Chrissy - posted on 06/01/2010

I never said anything about beating in my first comment neither but it doesnt surprise me one bit that the parents who dont agree with smacking children would put parents like me straight into the child abuser basket. As well as what Jenna said both my two kids have no fear of me either, and with my 17 month old daughter I am actually currently dealing with her CONSTANT need to be around me and NOT wanting to be seperated from me, whenever there has been a need for it. And where do these parents get the idea that all these other methods of teaching kids are actually working??? So far Ive read dozens of comments not only on this thread but others, about parents saying their kids BEAT THEM, KICK THEM, THROW THINGS AT THEM, PINCH THEM, SCRATCH THEM, YELL AND SCREAM AT THEM, BITE THEM and all the parents do is softly RE-DIRECT the kid or POLITELY
explain the situation to the kid, or give them time out usually for about 5 seconds or may as well be because when these parents give kids a time out it doesnt usually last long enough for the child to even think about what they did wrong, let alone feel sorry for it. And guess what. About 95-100 per cent of those parents said that their child was STILL doing the same things, and the only thing left to do was "HOPE THAT HE/SHE GROWS OUT OF IT" ha ha thats very funny. I think those parents will be waitin a long time for that, and in the meantime the kid will just get worse, not to mention, think its ok to behave that way, and continue to behave that way when their an adult (because they havent been MADE to stop), while the parents have to put up with their kids behaviour for however many days, weeks, months or years that the child decides to keep it up. Oh and did i mention the bruises and bitemarks, scratches, and what ever other damage the child decides to inflict upon their PARENT for God sake that the parent would have to endure also untill that child magically decides to stop, all of his own accord (sure) maybe if and when he gets bored of it, a good way to encourage the child to stop, by waiting for him to decide when HE is good and ready ( i think not). RE-DIRECTION and TIME OUT only takes the child away from the situation, it doesnt teach them how to behave and to avoid the situation from happening again, and doesnt teach them that negative behaviour is going to get them into trouble. Because by the sound of it, these kids just DONT get into trouble. Hello. No wonder they keep repeating the same behaviour. And by the way, I also DIDNT say there were not other ways to discipline kids without smacking, on occasion those other methods can work (like for the short term, or for that instance- sometimes, or if your lucky enough to have a child that actually listens and does what their told before needing to be smacked, and there arent too many of those) but most of those other ways, just from reading this thread, HAVE NOT WORKED in the short and long term. And im so sick and tired of people saying that people who were smacked as kids always turn out violent, abusive etc. You people need to get your facts straight. SO what do you blame then, when the kids grow up to be adults without being smacked as kids and they DO turn out violent, abusive, mentally or emotionally disturbed or the like?????????????

JENNA - posted on 06/01/2010

Amanda, maybe u should reread my comment it never said anything about beating my kids and my son is not affraid of me, he immediatly runs to me for a hug after being displined

JENNA - posted on 06/01/2010

i guess my spanking comment got taken out of context, i dont beat my kids or spank to hurt them, its more of a consequence for being bad. everyone is different, i was spanked and i dont resort to hitting and im not an angry person. spankin is a last resort if talkin and time out doesnt work. i do watch supernanny and take tips, some parents are jus too soft on their kids and wonder why they cant get them to behave.... generations before us were spanked and popped on hands and i dont think they turned out to be bad people or have issues with violence...

Leah - posted on 06/01/2010

yes my son threw a big thick heavy train at me the other day and i had a bruise on my nose 4 a week. he thinks its funny but now i take things off him when he does it. he has a teddy that comforts him and he loves his cars so every time he throws something now i grab whatever favourite thing, that is in veiw and tell him mum is having teddy now, and he cries, i give it 3mins and i make him say sorry, then he gets his teddy back

Amany - posted on 06/01/2010

I agree 100%..also trying distracting her in to another activity ..it works with me ALOT

Beccie - posted on 06/01/2010

I LOVE Supernanny lol !! I watched it as soon as I found out I was pregnant for tips ha ha. I try all her methods, especially time out, altho I do find myself resorting to a tap of the hand from time to time if he really isnt listening, but it takes a lot for me to get to that point. I certainly dont believe in beating children though, or using smacking as your only way to disapline

Amanda - posted on 06/01/2010

wow, really? i think that 17-18 months old is a bit young to be spanking, not to mention what it does to their heads. babies don't understand spanking, all they know is you've hurt them. also, they will continue to hit when they are angry because "that's what mommy does." i was "spanked" for many years when i was young and all it did was make me hurt and angry. i wanted to beat on my parents or anyone else who came along. it created rage in me. my parents lived in constant fear because their parents beat them at the drop of a hat. i won't put my children through that because there are easier ways of dealing with children that are proven to work much better and are much healthier for them and for parents than hitting. you can teach your children who is in charge without hitting. respect and boundaries, praise and encouragement, correction and guidance go a long way, have you ever watched Supernanny? she uses techniques that parents can use that work when spanking makes the situation worse, and she NEVER recommends spanking.

Chrissy - posted on 05/31/2010

@ Jenna

Thankyou Jenna, my thoughts exactly! Parents need to make their kids realise who is the boss, and until they do its their kids who rule the roost.When are all these parents going to get a grip, and teach these kids a proper lesson?????? The world HAS gone completely SOFT. Its pathetic. Give the child a good slap every time he/she does it and then see how long they want to continue that disgusting behaviour. SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD...come on parents wake up.

JENNA - posted on 05/31/2010

all kids need consistency, if they throw things and get away with it once they will do it again, u have to make it know and have consequences for the bad things they do from the very start. believe it or not at this age they understand what you are saying and can comprehend right from worng, you jus have to take the time to explain it and let them know there will be consequences. im a firm beleiver in spanking or a pop on the leg if explaining and time out does not work. thats whats wrong with kids today is that parents are so affraid to disipline them at an early age, it only get worse the older they get. if u can stay consistent right now u will have lesser problems later on. teach respect for others and property. talk to them like an adult. my 17 month olds tantrums last less than 30 seconds and i think its because i pick him up, get in his face and talk to him and then sit him in time out. MOMS you need to get tougher and use some tough love once while and things will get much easier. never give in no matter how much they scream, that only teaches them, if i scream long enough ill get what i want. putting a stop to that early fixes a lot of things......

Hilary - posted on 05/30/2010

My son is almost 18 months old and does the exact same thing! I took the big things that hurt when you are hit with them away from him. But that doesn't stop him. Because then he just finds something else to throw, or someone else to hit. It is very frustrating to make him stop, but when he knows you're serious and he gets the saddest cry, or rubs your arm, and then it is so hard to continue to be serious. I too, am hoping this will pass

Angi - posted on 05/30/2010

My daughter does the same thing and when I tell her ow, she laughs at me too.

Juli - posted on 05/30/2010

YES! You are NOT alone. I have a 18mo. old and she started throwing things at 16 mo. FIrst it was just to be funny now it's when she dosen't get her way. I have just simply stayed w/the basics. I look her in the eye tell her NO and then have her help me pick up the item she has thrown and put it where it belongs. So far it's going pretty well. She definatley knows when she does throw something it's wrong. She will say oh oh and shake her head no.

Jennifer - posted on 05/30/2010

Oh you better believe things are thrown at my house. From diapers (clean thank God) to toys to anything he can find that he can pick up. It the wonderful age of learning their stregnth. Big thing is....if you make a funny noise when it happens......do it again to hear the funny noise. I know it's hard cause you wanna say OW! or something but you do and she'll keep doing it. My son copies my daughter and tries to "brush" my hair. Well needless to say it turns into smack mommy's head instead. Slowly but surely it calms downs. Also, a little tapping of the hand lets them know it's not ok.

Beccie - posted on 05/30/2010

Yep, my LO has done the same for months ! Usually if he is being told of for being naughty, he finds the closest thing and throws it around the room. I immediately remove that item, so he will then move onto the next. Then he goes into time out for 1 min until he appologises and picks up what he was throwing. He drives me insane lol ! Also smacks and kicks a lot, but only really aimed at me, not his dad or anyone else. This has been for about 6 months now and I feel that I dont really know what else to try, I just hope he grows out of it soon

Nikki - posted on 05/28/2010

Oh hon, this is so normal that it isn't even funny. I went through this with my older one (he's almost 3 now) and I will tell you what I did. Every time he threw something at me, I would take it away and put it somewhere. If he did it again, he went to time out, and if he did it a 3rd time, he got his leg popped. After about a week of no toys and butt popping, he never threw again. Time out is the key. No toys no nothing. I put him in time out in his crib at the time. The first couple of times, he just sat there and played... but after that he'd get upset and realize it wasn't a good thing. Hope this helps

Amany - posted on 05/27/2010

my daughter does the same , she is either board or she is asking for my attention when am distracted or simply she is playing , i laugh a lot when she does that and when i turn that time in to fun time with her instead of loosing my temper LOL, she loves it now even more

Simona - posted on 05/27/2010

My son doesnt throw yet but does hit me and thinks its funny. The worst part is that when I say NO he thinks thats funny too and laughs its very difficult. Sometimes I can say NO harshly and he looks at me like he is checking me out to see if I am serious and then gives a very cute little smile its very difficult not to smile back. I too am hoping he will grow out of it.

Frances - posted on 05/27/2010

Hiya, my little angel (well most of the time anyway) is exactly the same....she even threw a pack of cheese at a guy in the supermarket and when I told her no and took it away from her reach she tried to find something else to throw. I personally think it's a phase that'll she'll eventually grow out of.....hopefully soon!!!

Amanda - posted on 05/25/2010

i don't think it's baseball haha! it's just something they have learned to do and now they want to do it. my son throws everything and laughs and laughs, occasionally he comes up to me and throws things at me over and over and laughs and laughs about that as well. nothing i have tried makes him stop, besides taking him somewhere and doing something else like "coloring," or going outside or something. sometimes i think he does it for attention, and also because dad and i will throw balls to each other or toss things around and stuff. but who really knows?

Crystal - posted on 05/25/2010

same thing hear. my son is throwing at everyone and anything he gets in his hand.

Laura - posted on 05/24/2010

My daughter, the same age as yours, does the same thing. She punches and slaps, too. All I do is get down to her level, gently grab her hand, and say, "We use our hands for helping others, not hurting others." She is a bit young to understand, but I am hoping she will come around.

P.S. I'm not anti-spanking... but I find it a bit hard, in this particular situation, to tell a kid not to hurt/hit me when I "hit" her.

Dawn - posted on 05/23/2010

Its interesting to read these comments as we are having the same issue with our 18 month old daughter, she throws anything she can get her hands on. I tell her it is naughty but She thinks its funny. I have started to tell her off and use a different tone to my voice which does seem to be working. She doesn't always throw things at us she just seems to randomly throw things about so I don't think she is trying to hurt anyone she just things its funny to throw but she is obsessed with Balls which makes the matter worse. I have started to play more outside with her where its OK for her to throw things as they are all toys that are designed to be outdoors. As I have a 4 year old son who went through a similar thing and grew out of it so I am very hopeful she will too.

Erryn - posted on 05/23/2010

my daughter does the same thing.. we give her time-outs when its something big or hurts us, but when its only something small, or is not throwing it AT someone, then we try to use good reinforcement, show her what can be thrown and where, eg: a ball outside.. its helped a little, but we're still having problems with it

Kia - posted on 05/23/2010

Yes my son is the same age and throws things at me like books, T.V controls etc. and when he does he says "Ouch!" because he knows that is what I will say and he thinks it is funny. I find it really hard to know how to discipline him. I just tell him that it hurts and take whatever he hit me with from him but he doesn't seem to care much. I just encourage him not to and hope he grows out of it soon.

Amber - posted on 05/20/2010

After a couple of time outs my daughter has stopped hitting and throwing stuff. She used to but there was no way I was going to put up with it. So we used those and it worked for us. Good luck!

Vicki - posted on 05/19/2010

I haven't had much of an issue with this! My boy has thrown or hit me with objects maybe two or three times. I told him he doesn't hit Mommy, removed the object, and explained it to him. The fun stops. He's allowed to throw things outside; just the other day he found a golf ball and was throwing it at the ground at the water park.

She probably finds your reaction funny. If she was trying to hurt you purposely, you'd know. At this point kids can't mask their emotions. She thinks it is a game, and doesn't realize that a soft toy doesn't hurt, but a book does. Explain this to her. Let her know it is unacceptable. Show her a game that she can play without causing hurt to anyone.

Angiee - posted on 05/19/2010

Yep it is that magical age..Not only r they gaining there independence, but they are also learning how far they can push you.

Adrianna - posted on 05/19/2010

My son throws thongs and thinks it's hilarious. I tell him no n he gets mad and throws more. I just relized the other day that we watch baseball which he watches intentively. And so he thinks it's ok to throw. Now I try to limit his baseball intake.