my daughter is so gelous of her new baby brother

Andrea - posted on 10/09/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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she is 21 months and i have just had another baby he's 5 weeks old, she hates him constantly try's to hurt him i cant leave him anywhere that she can get to, she hits, kicks, lays all over him try's to pick him up arrrrr its driving me mad.
Before he came along she did get a lot of attention but was always a good kid now she has tantrum after tantrum gets into everything she knows she's not aloud to do, just naughty.
I've tried distracting her while i'm breast feeding but she sees him and pounces all over me and him, i end up getting really mad with her and i no that is just making it worse but i dont no what else to do help pls

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Naomi - posted on 10/13/2010

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I don't have another baby but can say this about my daughter. She is the reflection of MY behaviour towards her and MY opinion of her. As soon as I change my attitude so does she. So I guess reward her when she acutally does something good. I have friends who breastfeed during meal/snack time for their toddler and strap them in the high chair and put the TV on..... least she will be contained.....

Anmarie - posted on 10/12/2010

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I have a 4 and a half yr old girl and when her brother was born My life was a NIGHTMARE! She would basically do the same apart from the feeding thing. I ended up telling her every single thing i was going to do "Mummy is going to feed Jacob" please can you help me by getting a flannel and a bib" When Jacob was on the floor I would lie down on the floor to ( to get a break for 5 mins) and Sarah-lee would come bowling on through like a cyclone! So I changed to when i lay on the floor she would get a book and look at the pics with mummy. But I was never prepared for the whole picking up thing!!!! MAN that drove me beyond boiling point day after day. In the end I had to go out and buy a dolly,pushchair,highchair,portacot,capsuel (sarah-lee came to buy them too) and we made a name (Sally) for her "baby" and everything i did with her brother she could do with Sally. It has taken nearly 2 years and she is Over her brother and isnt intereasted in him most of the time but every now and again I find myself saying "leave your brother alone, and Put him down he has feet" All i can say is she is used to being by herself and will realise sooner or later that her brother isnt going away. Try and get her to help. Good luck because its not easy.

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Erika - posted on 11/14/2010

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that is a fear i have. my daughter will be 26 months old when my son is due to arrive. she had been the only grandchild, until she was 14 months old. and she showed jealousy towards her cousin at first. but she got used to her... my daughter is really loving to her dolls and stuffies. and she is understanding that there is a baby on the way and she even kisses my belly. i think she will be ok, but you never know... do you give them equal attention? i know its hard with a newborn and feedings. maybe give her alone time with just you. go for a walk, out for something to eat, etc. i hope things work out and she becomes a better big sister. good luck!

Sonja - posted on 11/08/2010

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I suppose what you can do is to try to include her, make her feel helpful and tell her that her baby brother 'likes her the best'. I'm worried about this happening to me, considering I'm about to have baby #2.

Missie - posted on 11/03/2010

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I have a similar issue, I now have a 22 month old and a 3 month old. My 22 month old was so happy with his baby brother, when he first came home. He was always kissing him and hugging on him. He still hugs and kisses him a lot but he can't stand when one of us is giving the baby attention. He tries to steal it. He climbs up and walks around the baby, he steals his bottle and runs off with it, he takes things like blankets from him, he moves his seat.. you name it. However i was told that if i allowed him to help and let him be "big" i could minimize the jealousy and problem. I have since asked him to "help" with diaper changes and other things. Don't get me wrong, i still would not allow them to be alone for fear of the baby getting hurt. He still walks around the baby anytime the baby is one the bed, or where he can walk around him, he still runs off with some of the baby's things but it is slowing down. I let him "hold" the baby and am teaching him how to play with him so that he doesn't hurt him and he seems to be catching on. Getting angry with them only makes it harder for them to understand. But involving them allows them to see how careful you are and teaches them to be more gentle. Just remember to be patient and be firm, but mostly involve the older one and be sure to praise and tell her what a wonderful big sister she is being when she helps out! Good luck

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