Need advise

Ashley - posted on 04/11/2010

Oh yes, my lil man is 16 months and this has just started out of nowhere too. Exactly what you have written except he pinches me. I was popping him on his leg a couple of times but i stopped doing that because it wasnt doing any good. He usually starts his when's he is sleepy or doesnt get his way. When he starts i usually say "Its the demon coming out" but I usually have to put him in his play pen(with nothing in it) for time out because of the way he throws himself to the floor I dont want him hurting himself. Glad I'm not the only one!!! Hope this passes soon!

Shanda - posted on 04/10/2010

Totally normal. One thing that really helped my ODS (who your DS's personality sounds similar to) was when I would reflect back his feelings to him and acknowledge why he was upset. i.e. "You're angry because Mommy took away the scissors. You wanted those scissors! You are angry! Mommy took the scissors to keep you safe." Sometimes it can really help for them to at least know that you understand what has them upset; and at the least, it's helping them learn to name their feelings later on.

Sabrina - posted on 04/08/2010

He's usually and angel when we are around other people, except when he's tired. I try not to spank him unless I've told him no multiple times and he ignores me. Even then its just a slight tap on the bottom. Also if he is trying to turn on the stove or do other things with his hands I give him a slight smack on the hand. Sometimes I feel really bad about it, but I don't know how else to teach him that when I say no I mean it.

I'm also worried about when my husband gets home. He is currently on deployment and wont be home until July, I just dont want him coming home and have everything I've been trying to do with him goes out the window because daddy is home. He's such a daddy's boy.

Thanks for all the help, its nice to know that other kids his age are going through the same thing. Its a little reassuring. Hopefully it wont last long.

Mabel - posted on 04/08/2010

Devin has been going thru the tantrums too.The slapping did not stop untill he found out he didn't like it either.Now the fits in the store is getting started and I will tell him loudly that he can pich his fit but he won't get his way and he stops.

Sherre - posted on 04/08/2010

Wow, sounds like my son, who was born on the exact day! He does the same thing to me. I don't know where he gets it from and how to stop him from doing it but I do give him light spankings or a time-out. I also make sure to tell him,"no hitting." If he's punished for hitting, I usually don't spank him because I don't want to confuse him. If he's just throwing a tantrum and not disturbing anything, I ignore him. All babies are different and punishment is entirely up to what the parents decide. They'll grow out of this stage eventually.

Vicki - posted on 04/07/2010

It's not that he is "testing you" precisely as I don't believe our kids have that ability yet at this age. But he IS using you as a sort of sounding board for his emotions. He is gauging your response. Toddlers are packed full of emotion without control. They need to be taught how to appropriately handle these feelings. This can be a tough call for moms when we don't know what the issue is in the first place. Being tired or hungry certainly exasperates any problem.

I just remembered something I read awhile back, perhaps in a parents' magazine. Toddlers are most frustrated with their own inability to communicate. While you are preparing lunch, he can't just say, "Mom, I sure would like orange juice today, in the blue cup please, because it looks funny otherwise," which is why when you offer apple juice in the red cup, all he does is scream!

Just recently, my son was playing on the balcony with his red and yellow car. It was a beautiful day, felt like Summer already, and we live across from a park. So we went over there. He played in his car, sharing with a girl he met, got stuck in the sand and was upset, got over it and played some more until it was time to head back. We left the playground area to cross the still dry water park. He was pushing the car from behind. I placed my hand on the roof to guide it in the right direction, and you would think I had beat the boy! He crumpled to the ground and let out a scream! I assured him that I was not pushing the car. He could push it by himself. A number of parents surrounding the hockey area watched. My boy got himself up and we went a little further, but oh, I did it again. I ruined my son's life by touching the car. HIS car that HE was pushing HIMSELF.

haha, it's kinda funny. But to him, it was the most important thing in the world at that very moment. I waited for him, and I spoke gently. He had my understanding. I could have walked away, or picked him up, screaming, and rushed home, but I'm not sure either way would have done any good. I feel that a lot of the time, he just needs my understanding and support. Even when I don't "understand." I'm not the parent who yells, as that is how I was raised. I choose the opposite method.

True you don't want to encourage fits by giving in. When my son is angry because he cannot have my hot cup of coffee, I explain to him why that is. I offer him a drink of his own, a reasonable substitution. Sometimes he won't accept the replacement for that which he wants. If so, I explain again what he cannot have and why, and that if he wants this instead, it is here waiting.

There are so many reasons for toddlers that have tantrums, and just any many methods you will hear for dealing with them. Use what best suits you.

Danielle - posted on 04/06/2010

it's normal. i think you ignoring it is the right thing to do. it takes them a while to get over this stage, but they will eventually. don't worry too much. i'm sure when it happens in public the other moms around you are only thinking "i'm glad that's not me this time..." :)