SCREAMER

Natasha - posted on 07/19/2010

Totally agree with Michele Hawkins ....my son is screaming and I beleive he will stop once he gets better at communicating.

I say tell mummy whats wrong but no screaming is allowed. Mummy cant help if you scream. I repeat it and use different tones depending on the situation.

I am guessing like everything in this journey its all about routine and patience. Callum has seemed to of got must things this way and fought it each time but in the end he realises mummy is not giving up.

Good Luck :-)

Laura - posted on 07/14/2010

My Marissa was born on the same day Kaylee was....and her sister was about 2 1/2 when she was born. She didnt start screaming really until fairly recently, and Ive been telling her "inside voice" like I tell her big sister. As someone else has mentioned, I also get the screaming (and shes a wiggle worm...twists around and sits up) in the middle of diaper changes. She also is having a hard time sharing me, but usually I try to get her interested in some toy as an alternate. Sometimes when she wants to play with something her sister is playing with, or her sister takes something she was playing with, we go into talking about sharing and taking turns. (That and distraction work well together.)

Shandy - posted on 07/13/2010

Thanks Ladies for all you help and hugs! I needed them lol!! Shes getting better... some! :) Now shes doing it all the time even playing too! That I love I know shes happy and I just want her to be! My girls mean the world to me and I don't want to be one of those moms who dread doing anything with them. Now if I could just figure out what the problem is in the car all of the sudden, we might be ok! But thanks again! Love and prayers to all of you going through the same thing or have been through it!

Bethany - posted on 07/13/2010

My 19-month-old LOVES to scream as well! It's definitely part of the age! They've learned that they want something specific but they don't have the words to explain it yet. Sign language is a big help...if you teach them just a few words, it can really help. You'd be surprised how fast they pick up on signs! Also, I've started putting my little one in his room when he starts screaming like a banchee...I tell him he can come out of his room when he stops screaming...it sometimes takes putting him back in his room 3-4 times, but he'll eventually come out & stop crying or he'll find something to do in his room & get distracted. Lastly, I agree with several other posters...take a time out for yourself when you need it! It's important even if it's only for a few minutes! And reach out to friends & just talk about your frustrations...it helps keep a good perspective! Be blessed!

Tasha - posted on 07/13/2010

I really want to send you a mental hug and tell you how brave you are for sharing your PPD feelings.
I dont have anything extra to add really that the other moms havent already said. But just wanted to agree that my little 12-22-08 baby boy is really pushing the scream meter. But I take it as him expressing fristration and energy. Stay strong anf thank you other moms for taking your time to check in with us other moms.

Kristen - posted on 07/13/2010

It sounds like you could really use a break for yourself. I recently joined a gym with child care and I try and go 3-4 times a week for an hour or so. It makes me feel good and I enjoy the time to myself and working out some of the daily frustrations that you can encounter on a daily basis. My son was having a lot of tantrums and I would totally ignore them and they stopped on their own.....Hang in there :)

Carla - posted on 07/13/2010

When my son screams I just look at him and say "that is not acceptable." and now he just looks at me and screams for a minute and then stops. I think he is starting to learn that its not ok to scream to get what he wants or when hes mad. he cant express his anger or frusteration so we are trying to teach him sign language to express himself. i think its easier for him than using words. if all else fails dont give in and pick them up. walk away and when she sees that shes not getting the attention from screaming she will stop. i hope you get through it and good luck!

Angie - posted on 07/13/2010

Try having 2 19 month olds! Sometimes the screaming I think will take me over the edge! The little girl screams all the time. Happy, sad,mad it doesnt seem to matter I think she just feels like hearing her voice! So I just let her scream. I am on meds too. I was before my 2 came along. Some days are really hard and as far as sibling rivlary....I also have a 14 yr old. Go from one child that gets all the attention to having twins....She gives me the guilty mom routine. Some days I could run away. But I love them all just the same! Though some days are trying. Just hang in there. It will get better!

Kalila - posted on 07/13/2010

I agree with Chana - it makes a huge difference if you can keep yourself calm...having said that...I have closed the door and gone outside to take a breather once or twice in the past to keep myself together...because when you loose it and its getting too much...they feed on it (i know it sounds horrible - it's not meant to - i just cant think of a better way of describing it)
Does she go to child care/kindy? maybe signing up for one day to start with may help with the seperation...it would give you a break...even for a few hours to start with...and it will teach her that she can do things with out you...she can be her own person...she doesnt need to be attached to you...she will quickly learn that mummy always comes back. And it will be hard to start with...you'll feel guilty etc...but at the end of the day...you are paying someone to deal with it and you can always call the centre to check on her and come and get her if its too much. i did that with my daughter and it seemed like in no time at all, she was starting to complain that i picked her up too early! It gave her the space and opportunity to learn to be independent and have fun with kids her own age and it gave me time to catch my breath!

Chana - posted on 07/11/2010

The only way I know is to stay calm yourself. Try your best not to allow aggitated vibes out. I have done it a few times with Balian and he gets worse. If I stay calm he shreiks a few times a day, some days are just wake up to lay down bad but we have to remain caml caus ethey are hitting the terrible 2 stage and from what I understand they are feeling so much they don't know how to deal with it so it's up to us to show them we have to stay calm in certain if not most situations. I just tell myself it won't last forever I got a 7 year old and I thought with him it would never end but it did and quickly. Just try to stay calm and kinda ignore some of it unless it's an alarming yell or a temper yell I wouldn't worry about it it fades. If it's a temper yell you have to calmly show her how to be about it and just kinda sooth her. The holding all the time does fade rather quickly so if you know you will miss it then eat it up cause I found with my first there is no such thing as too much loves. Poor guy got neglected cause I was afraid of spoiling him as the old folks say. This one my last one I"m just smothering and he only comes to me when he really needs it. She knows you don't want that's why she begs

Amy - posted on 07/03/2010

I'm not much help her but my Dec 2 08 son is the exact same way I can hardly move with out him being hung to me and screaming when he's not. He screams if his sister touches him or if the dog touches his blanket, you name it he screams about it. As for the siblng rivalry my 2 are 18 months apart and i try to make sure they each have one of the same thing, If he has a toy, she has one. it sorta works atleast to slow the screaming enough s I don't go completely CRAZY! Good luck!

Lyndsey - posted on 07/01/2010

My 18, almost 19 month old is a screamer too...
He does scream when he's upset, but it's more when he's excited or just wants to communicate something but is having a hard time. Our biggest problem is out in public he just screams the high pitched scream that has cleared restaurants and made others very upset... It's hard to deal with.
I think it's just something they do at this stage and honestly I just try to laugh about it sometimes... so I don't cry.
That and trying to teach them words or actions that can take the place of the screams is really all you can do. I don't know about you, but if my little one gets in trouble for it he just screams more... frustration is not the word and I feel your pain.

Michele - posted on 07/01/2010

So let me first say that as I write this as my 18 month old bundle of joy is screaming (for two minutes already) because mean old mommy changed him out of gross stinky poopy diaper - can you believe how awful I am? ;)
I may be wrong (other moms please chime in) but I believe screaming at this age is common. They have discovered their vocal abilities (in a form beyond crying) and are working hard to develop speech but they get frustrated with their inability to communicate - so they scream. I know it doesn't totally help to have some reasoning behind it but sometimes it can give you what you need to make it through without loosing your mind. :) I had PPD w my first so I totally understand how that is.

We are using the opportunity to try to teach our little one a one or two word phrase he can use instead of screaming - like "help please" - I tell him Jake you don't need to scream just tell Mommy - help please and Mommy can help you put your blocks back up. In this mornings case I just told him as calmly as possible - I'm sorry you don't like your diaper changed Jake but screaming isn't going to help - this is just something that needs to be done so you don't get an ouchy rash. I'm not sure how much he understands but it helps hearing me say it out loud so that I stay calm. He has started saying help please when he gets frustrated with his toys instead of screaming so at least that is helping. Really when I can help the situation by picking him up and playing or distracting I do but if I am busy w dinner or his sister then I just stay calm talking him (and myself) through it until I can deal with him.
He and his sister both have to learn that sometimes the other one has to take priority - it's part of life - and doesn't mean mommy doesn't love you both. I also try to spend time one on one w each and then some focused time with them together each day - it helps them to learn to play together. During the "rest" time each day I make sure to give myself at least 30 minutes of relaxing time to recoup and regroup.
If it's been a tough day - I agree w Joy - as long as the kids are safe - 5 minutes in your room or bathroom or wherever to collect yourself is really a lifesaver. Kids totally feed off of Mommy's energy and attitude - if you are really frustrated they will be to - if you can stay calm they will get there faster as well.
Hope that helps! It can be tough at this age but as you know it's totally worth it!

Joy - posted on 06/29/2010

Well, it's more than four months since the grommets were put in, so it sounds like SR to me. So if the little "dear" is still in a cot, sometimes after making certain she is safe, it might be a case of in the cot and shut that door. If you can be sure your older one is safe too (playdate, nap, kindy). Specially if she's got the constant *squeelies*, you'll soon discover that cleaning a closet/ wardrobe by climbing in and getting a feel for the space, lol. (just 5 mins of quiet, can be a real boost).