Still NOT sleeping through the night!

Melissa - posted on 01/21/2010

I agree with everyone here. Its hard to deal with lots or little sleep that you are getting. My son is 13months old and is not sleeping through the night. I have tryed everything, but nothing works. But, everyone baby or toddler is different, and do things differently, you such have to have patiences, eventually they will sleep through. But its good to ask for help or advice, and see if it works or not. And the converstion between Nataile Trott and Rana Hajji, (sorry if i spelt names wrong) Nataile i agree with you totally, and you shouldn't apologise, you were voiced you opionions, at the end of the day, if none likes it they shouldn't read it, tough cookies. Children should always have naps, morning naps or afternoon naps, the toddlers or preschool age will let you know that they dont want naps, because they have a voice and can say what they want. If youi have big outing with your children, then yes i will be SHATTERED because they were tired and there routine was out of wack of the day, so of course they will sleep, Im concerend what you do with your child/children? Rana? And what works for you Rana, may or may not work for other mothers/families.

Yvonne - posted on 01/20/2010

Ok well thanks for the help....I have cut out his late afternoon nap altogether now and although he does be so tired by about 6, i dont let him sleep, he's terrible for fighting sleep anyway so i wouldn't say he would sleep! But when it comes to 7 or 7.30 he goes to the cot, and although we stay in his room, we let him see us and then, gradually head for the door!! he would get up and cry if he noticed we're gone....but he does be alseep for the whole night now within 15 mins!! Idont think the cry it out works for him at all..............

Tiffany - posted on 01/17/2010

Yes letting them cry is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it does work. My son was 11 months and still waking up to nurse which was leading to co sleeping. I started letting him cry and after a few nights he slept through the night. Good luck.. and just know he isn't waking up because he is hungry it is because it is a habit.

Jessica - posted on 01/17/2010

Our son wakes up once during the night, if its before 3, I just offer him some water and put him back to bed. If its closer to 4, i figure its been 8 or 9 hours since he had his last bottle and he's probably hungry. He always goes right back to sleep. I dont believe in crying it out.... maybe I just dont have the stomach for it. They wont always wake up in the night... eventually all babies sleep straight through. Our little guy isnt snuggly at all, except in the middle of the night, so I've come to enjoy his middle of the night wakings as the only time I can just hold him without him squirming all over!! Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but just know that you are not alone.... many babies start waking at this age because of all the new stimulus during the day. Reaching milestones often disrupts their sleep.

Natalie - posted on 01/17/2010

actually sorry Rana, thats was a bit harsh - in a bit of a bad mood today ! i only wanted to say that you post i read didn't really explain what you then explained in your latter post, and that it wasn't clear you were talking about naps.

didn't mean to snap ! sorry

Natalie - posted on 01/17/2010

Rana - this is what you said

They need to sleep through the night in order to grow healthy. It's not fair that they're not. Sleeping at day time is unhealthy for your baby. If you care about your baby, let him or her sleep through the night for their own sake,

I just copied that word for word, nowhere in that post did you mention a day time NAP is fine - maybe try and articulate properly if you don't want to be misunderstood.

Lisa - posted on 01/17/2010

I just took my son for his check up and asked my dr about the fact tht my son is nt sleeping thru the nite. He brought up s reslly good point, they are getting some teeth around this time . I give him a couple teething tablets and it usually works. However he is nt a good sleeper and never has been. He hasnt slept thru the nite since he was tiny.

Rana - posted on 01/17/2010

Natalie,
Babies DO NEED to nap. My baby has 2 hours nap everyday. This is NOT what I said.
It's unhealthy when babies sleep through out the day, that's what I said if you read it the right way. Night time sleeping is the natural and best time to sleep, whereas, day time sleeping INSTEAD is wrong. letting them cry it out is not always the solution. Use it ONLY when you know that your baby is looking for attention and not for food. every mother knows what her child wants. And yes, I agree with you that the mom who said that is a bit tough on her baby. There are actually techniques in the cry it out method. It's not haphazard. Don't speak to people disrespectfully without understanding them.

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2010

seriously i keep reading over post gone by and am shocked, yes a DR may tell you there is no medical reason that your baby needs a bottle, but does that dr know what oyur baby has eaten in a day then ? do yu really think your baby is waking up and crying at you cause they are just trying to bug you or something ? do you not think if they weren't hungry they just wouldn't wake up !!! if you leave them crying then yes they will learn to sleep through, but mainly cause they learn that crying is useless, no-one is coming for them. There was a lady a few posts back who said about letting them cry it out and said its tough for a while, but the sleep you get is definitely worth it !!!!!!!!!!!!! really ? are you sure you wanted to be a mum with comments like that, I couldn't give a toss how much sleep i get, my daughter is my main concern and all her needs being met, letting her cry it out cause i'm a bit sleepy is not an option for me and am stunned by that comment,

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2010

Rana - sorry but what the hell are you on about, sleeping through the day is not unhealthy for a child at all ? what a ridiculous thing to say ? are you serious really ?

naps/ or a nap though the day is perfectly healthy for this age, and is healthy if they need it, never stop your child at this age napping if they need it, every child is different, but if they burn the energy where they need it then do not refuse them a sleep ...am shocked at your comments .....yeah if you physically stop them napping in the day when THEY ARE TIERD then they prob will sleep through the night, because they are SHATTERED......well done you

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2010

i would like to add that my daughter up until 7 months was a crazy nightmare sleeper, she was exc breastfed, and woke every 2-3 hours for a feed, and wouldn't sleep unless we rocked her, but i don't believe in this hard way of teaching them to get through the night (babies in your womb are more awake at night, so naturally it will take them awhile to adjust) so gradually with love and patience we would put her down in her cot a little bit more awake each time, and at 8 months our daughter would be put to bed wide awake and go to sleep on her own.

I don't understand this tough love method, sorry i really don't, but fair enough its up to you, but please dont make comments about how people who are tending to their babies crying are making it tough on themselves in the long run, its rubbish, babies get older and more confident and will learnt settle themselves with your help, but they have to be taught it, i never wanted to rush my daughter at sleeping through, and i'm glad i didn't, my daughter is brilliant at bedtime and is cool with going to bed wide awake now, and i wouldn't have rushed her for the world, she wakes up early some mornings and i hear her playing in her cot and i will leave her for a while, and i am sure she does this because she is a happy confident baby and knows if she was to cry, we would come for her in a heartbeat.

also your babies are not your babies for long, so tending to my daughter every 2 hours for 7 months was was not the end of the world, it was a magical time that i will never get back again, so if i live till i'm 50 even, it was 7 months out of my life, i'd gladly do it again

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2010

hi, well my daughter is 13 months today, but she still doesn;t sleep through, but some nights she does, and i really believe that for us now its about how much she eats in the day, when she has eaten all her meals and has had snacks too she sleeps through, if she missed anything, then she wakes up at least once and needs milk.

i really suggest upping food intake, i am still getting to grips with it all myself but thats what i have noticed, i missed her extra dinner tonight and she woke once already, but she is hit or miss at the moments, she slept through for three nights before that,and ate like a horse in the day!

i personally don't like the cry it out thing, but thats cause my daughter never really cry's unless she wants something and i don't want her to be crying cause she's hungry...it's work its self out is the way i see it.

Janine - posted on 01/16/2010

My son is 13 months old too and has slept through the night since he was about 7 months old. We never used the cry it out method, we just kept to a good night time routine. We have recently weaned him off his bottles and he has a beaker of whole milk before bed. On the rare occasion that he has woken in the night, I pick him up and rock him and shush him until he is settled again then put him down again and I get back into bed (he still sleeps in our room). I don't talk to him other than shushing and I don't make eye contact either. I hope this helps.

Jessica - posted on 01/16/2010

I WISH my son only woke once thru the night. My husband and I joke that he's allergic to sleep. He's 13mo old and gets up 3-4 times a night. Which is far better than his 6-7 times just a few months ago. We have tried it all. Bought every sleep training program, listened to dr's, "experts", friends, etc. My eldest (now 7 & 1/2yrs) was also not big on sleep, but was nowhere near this bad. I am NOT ok with the cry it out method. In my opinion(and from studies I've read over the yrs) it creates the attitude that no matter how bad baby needs you, mommy or daddy aren't going to respond, unless it suits them. Which in turn teaches the child to treat others this way as well. So, as I tell others who are appalled at the fact that I respond to my child getting up so often throughout the night, he'll grow out of it one day. It's not going to be like this forever and if it's only once, and he goes right back to sleep. how awful can it really be? Think of the bond and trust you're creating with your son;)

Rana - posted on 01/16/2010

I respect everyone's opinions. And clearly you do too. But I just wanted to say that the method you're using is not going to help in the future when she turns into a toddler with a regular bed instead of a crib and wont listen to you when you ask her to go to sleep. That's why some of us are doing it the hard way from the beginning to make babies used to sleeping healthy. It probably is gonna be harder on you later.

Francine - posted on 01/16/2010

My daughter still wakes through the night as well...but I also still nurse her. She is my second baby. With my first I stressed out over things like things...sleeping through the night, schedules, etc. To solve my sleepless night problems, I brought her into our bed so that I could feed her while still maintaining a reasonable sleep schedule. On the nights she wants to get up to play (which is rare), I don't get up with her. I allow her to roll around and coo, until she plays herself out. I started doing this with her after I read Dr. Sears book on attachment parenting. I know she will outgrow the phase...and so will your son. Just love him and try to sooth as best as possible, and if you need to, sleep with him so that you both can get sleep.

Crystal - posted on 01/15/2010

Unfortunately you have to let them cry it out. It is so heart wrenching and sometimes you feel like you are going to be ill. The first night is the hardest but after a few days it gets easier. Took about a week. Everyone once in awhile they may go back if they are teething or they are sick but the sleep you gain is definitely worth it. Good Luck!

Alexzandra - posted on 01/15/2010

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 10 and a half months old. Before that he was still sleeping in our room so he could see us whenever he would wake up and want to play or it would make him think of feeding so he would cry till he got his bottle. We finally moved him into his own room and when he woke up (if he cried more than 20 minutes) we would go in and only give him water to drink. After a month he finally started sleeping through the night. Until we moved him out of our room, nothing helped getting him to sleep-we tried EVERYTHING and he would still wake up 3-4 times a night. I don't know if this helps at all but I hope you get sleep soon! I know how hard it is!

Rana - posted on 01/15/2010

They need to sleep through the night in order to grow healthy. It's not fair that they're not. Sleeping at day time is unhealthy for your baby. If you care about your baby, let him or her sleep through the night for their own sake,

Nitya - posted on 01/15/2010

I think it's very sad that Mums are made to feel guilty about following their gut instinct and picking up their little 1 year old baby and cuddling him in bed. Not one reply in this conversation suggests gentle sleep techniques! After all, who is it (baby sleeping through the night) really most convenient for? Us as parents, or our little babies who really only want to be with the two ppl they love most in the world - Mum and Dad.

Babies cry & don't sleep like adults do - it's a fact of life. And when new developmental stages come up, they are more unsettled than usual. Every baby is different also, follow your gut instinct with your son, you know him best.

Please DO NOT let him cry it out - you could be causing him permanent neurological damage and undoing all the good trust you have built up with him the past year.
I would highly recommend a book called "Sleeping Like a Baby" by Pinky McKay, an Australian author. www.pinkymckay.com.au
If there is one book new Mums read, that should be it!! It offers gentle sleep solutions that support both Mum and Baby.

Follow your mothering instinct with your son, don't feel pressured into making him conform to sleeping through the night if that is not right for him at this stage.
And yes, my 1 year old daughter doesn't sleep through the night either :-)

Rana - posted on 01/14/2010

Don't pick him up. Check up on him, kiss him, remind him it's sleepy time, and leave. Don't look back. Ans occasionally do the same thing again by checking up on him. He will eventually sleep and will stop waking up after 3 or 4 days.

Rebecca - posted on 01/14/2010

I have the same problem with my daughter...she turned one on Dec 23rd! She is my 3rd child & my other two were not like that, they slept through the night by 6 months! She up once sometimes twice a nightand won't stop crying till she is given a bottle, the lack of sleep is getting me too! Her dr. told me to #1 take her out of our room #2 Let her keep crying until she cries herself back to sleep that there is no medical reason for her to be needing a bottle and not sleeping through the night! Neither one of those has worked for me... Good luck!

Tania - posted on 01/13/2010

I disagree! My son is also a year and is thirsty at night, so he get a bottle when he goes down at night and 2 more in his cot when I go to bed and they are finished in the morning. He only drinks a small bottle of tea and 1 other bottle during the day. So it is not necessarily excessive thirst caused by diabetes but probably just wanting comfort and he gets it from his bottle in the cot. Nothing wrong with that. He is happy, I am happy and we've all slept. He'll grow out of it eventually and life will go on. You as a mom need to do what it take to make your life easier and sane and it would normally be different what alot of other moms do. try the advice you are given through trial and error and then stick with the one that works! Good luck!

Geneviève - posted on 01/13/2010

Here's my advice. Many have called me cruel but I just laugh it off because I've been sleeping through the night since my son was 2 months old. That's right. 2 months. They need a routine. A routine helps them sleep through the night because they feel safe. I was getting only 3 hours of sleep per 24 hours! If I was lucky, I had 15 min of sleep between my 3 hours. I was EXHAUSTED. I didn't even recognize myself anymore.
If you want to sleep through the night and wake up rested and happy to see your little one, this is what you have to do (it took 2 EVENINGS with my Gabriel) : Let-him-cry!
Gabriel cried for 2 hours straight the first night. Of course I went to check on him and soothe him every 5 min then every 10 min then ever 30 min and so on. He eventually fell asleep. The second night was the same. Whatever you do, DON'T pick him up. The third night, put him to bed and what do ya know, not one peep. His schedule was already made. Now, my son is 13 months and he's always anxious to go to sleep. He doesn't wake up once during the night and when he does, I don't go see him because he will think it's time to get up. Sometimes he wakes at 5 am. I still don't go because it's too early. He falls back asleep. I'm the one who has to wake him up in the morning!

Shiralee - posted on 01/13/2010

Hi Vanessa, When i was getting my daughter to sleep through the night again i was told to slowly water down her night feed (if you are breastfeeding this may be harder). It took me a week to get her off the milk then if she woke i just gave her a drink of water. You have to try get him out of the habit of waking up for that feed. Good luck I hope all goes well for you!!!

Yvonne - posted on 01/13/2010

My son is just gone 1, some nights he wakes in the middle of the night, if we're working he gets brought into our bed....which i know is wrong and i know its not a bottle he's after cos he goes straight back to sleep once in with us...getting him down in the first place, we tried for over 3 weeks leaving him 2 cry in his cot only going into him 10 minutes each time and rubbing his head for a minute or two then leaving him. We all got out of the routine so trying it again is awful it could an hour and we prob end up staying in his room til he nods off...

Katie - posted on 01/10/2010

let me just say i'm so sorry you have to deal with not sleeping through the night. are you nursing or does he take a milk bottle? my doctor had recommended giving milk right before bed, then giving him water if he woke up in the middle of the night. it is a little less alluring than milk, so it kind of eases him out of taking a mid-night snack. don't know if it will work, but good luck!

Walaa - posted on 01/10/2010

I have the same problem. my son is now 1 year and he has been like this now for almost four months. He wakes up during the night many times. He keeps on crying till I got to him and give the pacifier and put him back to sleep. it is really terrible and getting on my nerves bec. I have to wake up several times during the night and to wake up at 6:00 to go to work. Even the doctor said that he has no problem and I have to bear it till he finishes teething. Good luck and try to put him like the teeth gel before he goes to bed. this will calm him a bit. best wishes

Shanna - posted on 01/09/2010

We let my son cry. We feed him a full meal (bottle or cereal) and then put him in his crib. We don't go back in there to check on him, we just listen for anything unusual. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, if we ignore him for about 10 minutes (usually less) he snuggles himself back in and goes back to sleep. If he continues for more than 10 minutes, we get up and give him some milk and he'll go back to sleep. I find that he's only waking up at night when he is having a growth spurt.

At first, when he was about 4-6 months old, we were basically letting him set his own schedule... but when the pediatrician basically said if we didn't get his sleep schedule under control and get him more sleep per day she was going to recommend medication. It scared us into taking a more stern approach to his bedtime and nap schedule.

Stacey Marie - posted on 01/09/2010

I have been pretty lucky as my daughter slept throught the night at about 7 or 8 weeks old. Even before that she would sleep for 5 or 6 hours sometimes. She now sleeps from 8 until 8 usually. She is currently getting her back teeth in and still sleeps perfect! For now!!I would just suggest the same as other people. Try reducing the amount in the bottle and gradually try none. Maybe its not hunger, maybe its a security thing for him!

Elizabeth - posted on 01/09/2010

3 bottles a night is incredibly excessive..you should talk to your pediatrician. Diseases like diabetes have symptoms of constant thirst, even in children. If I were you, I would start downsizing those bottles ounce by ounce until he is weened off them.
He is clearly taking in too many calories if he is drinking 3 a night and normal meals during the day.
Once you ween him off the bottles he will learn to soothe himself back to sleep when he wakes up.

Good Luck Santana

Santana - posted on 01/08/2010

Hey there! I am new to Circle of Moms.

My boy is has just recently turned 1 as well, and wakes up plenty still durning the night. Sometimes I have to give him 3 bottles... YES he still takes a bottle at night, I just can't NOT give him it :)

I have heard Boys are worse sleepers than girls, but I have not had that experence. Some times we let Nohl just cry himself to sleep, we check on him every 10 -20 minutes, just to make sure everything is alright.

If there is no bother to you or people in your house, I'd let him cry until you aren't comfortable anymore, can't handle it. then take him out, and give him some cheerios, and snuggles, watching his favorite movie, and fingers crossed he'll go to sleep. :)

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2010

Katy ..you have a smart little guy there. He knows that if he cries you will come pick him up and bring him to your bed. It's a trap! lol



Trust that if you let him cry a couple nights it will break this ugly cycle. He will not cry to be brought to your bed and learn to soothe himself back to sleep.



Now...I have a question for you. When he cries for hours and doesnt go back to sleep...are you going to his room...are you talking loud enough for him to hear?



both of these things will give him false hope and he will cry longer

Katy - posted on 01/08/2010

I am going through the same thing with my son. He has slept maybe 7 nights all the way through in this entire year. He hasn't been getting anything to drink in the middle of the night for several months. I am so tired of him ending up in bed with us. Neither my husband or I sleep hardly at all when he is in bed with us. About a week ago he started not even staying asleep when we laid him down in his bed. He has had a cough now for about a month and a half so when I try and let him cry himself back so sleep he ends up making himself sick. I have tried going in and reassuring him before letting him continue to cry but that doesn't work at all. He cries for hours and never goes back to sleep. Then he is coughing his head off when I get him and it takes maybe a half an hour to get him back to sleep even though he is in bed with us. I have no idea what to do. My oldest son I used the cry yourself back to sleep and he started sleeping through the night after only 3 nights.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2010

Both our children have always been good sleepers..they started sleeping through the night at 3 wks old. However, when teething began it was another story. They would wake to be fed ..and so began the cycle of bottles during the night. To ween them off of these bottles we woudl start cutting down the oz over a 1 week period.

If the baby is taking 6 oz bottles..then the next night cut it back to 5 oz ...and then 4 oz..and so on. You will find in a weeks time that she/he no longer needs that bottle and you will be sleeping through the night.

Anissa - posted on 01/07/2010

I feel your pain. my daughter does the same thing. She's one and has never slept through the night. she wakes up multiple times a night because of her acid reflux. :-(

Melinda - posted on 01/07/2010

I have twin boys who are 13months old, I attended a sleep talk when they were 7months old as I was trying to wean them off night feeds.
At the sleep talk they encourage control crying & separating their rooms which I did.
It took 3 nights and they both started sleeping through most nights, waking for a bottle at 5am and going back to sleep till 6am.
However in the past 6 weeks one of my boys ( who from birth was always the better sleeper) is waking between 3-4am, Ive tried control crying, resettling, drink of water...the only thing that resettles him is a bottle!
I thought I was over night feeds, but all of sudden he will not resettle unless he has a bottle. I am truely hoping this is a phase and he will grow out of it.... soon!!!!

Shauna - posted on 01/07/2010

My daughter is doing the same thing she was breastfeed up until about one month ago when she started refusing the breast and is now taking a bottle she does not have any bottles during the day and has one bottle of 200ml at bedtime and then I give her another bottle of 150ml - 200ml before I go to bed between 9:30 -10:30 but she wakes everynight between 1-4 without fail I have tried everything from letting her cry, resettling etc etc I have even tried some sleep school techniques which worked wonderfully with my son by she just will not go back to sleep without a bottle I have even tried giving her water but she just spits it out she cries so much sometimes that she makes herself sick (which I hate) so I just give her a bottle to prevent this from happening I am finding I am becoming more and more sleep deprived and somedays I just think it won't last forever just keep going it's not as though she is awake for hours it is literally two minutes to heat up a bottle and I'm back in bed and other days I just think why can't you sleep through. Has anyone tried the week stay at the Queen Elizabeth Centre in Melbourne? I would be interested in peoples thoughts as I am seriously considering doing something to help my baby girl sleep through the night.

Leylah - posted on 01/07/2010

Ur not alone!! Mine is as well :( I feel sleep deprived

Shannon - posted on 01/07/2010

Ok this was exactly my problem. I started giving my son water when he would wake up to feed. Then I just started letting him cry it out and believe it or not it works. Its hard to do but after a couple of nights he cried so much less. That was 2mths ago and now he wakes up and cries about one to two minutes and puts himself back to sleep. It sounds harsh and I had tons of people telling me to do it but I wouldnt listen and finally was so exhausted I had to try. And it worked.Good Luck

Natasha - posted on 01/07/2010

The only way we stopped night feeding was to be consistent when we stopped. We gradually dropped the feed volume until it was non-existent, then went cold turkey. There was fuss, but it was all over and done with by a week. Once you make the decision not to do any feeds, don't give in. They will learn the routine.
We are at the stage now, if our son wakes up, we don't talk to him and tuck him back in. He hasn't woken for a month now, and it was only every now and again from when he turned 8.5months.

Sara - posted on 01/07/2010

Hi my one year old sometime wakes too. But is usually just thirsty. He sucks on his straw bottle then lays down and goes back to sleep. I first thought of it as I sometimes have a drink in the night. It is a pain but eventually he will be able to do it himself if I leave some water with him. So glad i didn't let him scream 'cause then the poor thing would only be more thirsty ! ;-) Good luck

Heather - posted on 01/06/2010

my son doesnt want food he jsut wants OUT of his crib and attention!! and to play! last night he cried for 2 1/2 hours with us checking on him every 10 minutes!

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2010

I am dealing with the same thing with my daughter! I have 3 other children and she is the first baby that is doing this. I am still nursing her so I don't know if that is why she is still waking in the middle of the night. I know with my other children I just let them cry for a couple of nights straight, and then they were sleeping through the night. It is hard to do, but it works. Good luck with your son!



Jennifer

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