temper tantrum

Kimberly - posted on 07/10/2012

My 16 mo old has just started throwing tantrums especially when he wakes up from his nap. He cries (screams really) wether I hold him standing sitting or if I just put him down. I try feeding him, giving him a drink, playing with him, even ignoring him. He just screams and cries for up to a half hour. The best thing so far has been just letting him get it out. It sounds like he's being tortured so it's good to know other kids are doing the same thing and that he's basically fine. Is it just a phase??

Kerrie - posted on 06/14/2010

I just found this post, and THANK GOD! Like Natasha, I thought there was something wrong with Liam, or that I was a bad mom or something, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone! He just started throwing tantrums in the past week or so, but they're so random! One time it was because I forgot to let him turn the light off in his room while we were coming out (he has a thing with switches now, my fault for showing him what it does I guess) and another night was because I took him out of the tub and he saw his tub toys sitting on the floor and wanted to go over and play with them but I was trying to bring him into his room to get his pj's on so I said no. I can't remember what the other one was, but every time he just screams and tries to throw himself outta my arms if I'm holding him, or will roll around on the floor while I'm trying to pick him up so that I can't pick him up. Eventually he gets so mad that he holds his breath until I have to blow into his mouth to get him to breathe again (he's been holding his breath when he cries too hard since he was about 4 months, and his pediatrician told us to do that) and then he starts crying because he just scared himself and forgets about why he was having the tantrum in the first place and just wants to snuggle with me. Sorry for such a long post, I just thought I would put in my two cents. :) Hope I helped!

Barbara - posted on 05/18/2010

mine has too, i have had to start giving him a little slap on the bk of his hand ,the high pitched screaming is driving me crazy ,,lol u wud think he was being murdered the way he screams wen he cant have his own way its horrific, the neighbours must think we r mad in this house,lol he bangs his head off his high chair wen i put him in it ,so i take him out ,nope still not happy, sometimes i feel like just throwing myself on the floor n see if he wud like it,,lol

Natasha - posted on 05/14/2010

I am so glad I am not alone......I thought my 17 month old son had a serious issue or I was doing something very wrong.

My boy is obviously frustrated but I just couldn't get him to stop reacting in the same head banging manner. I normally tell him no in a firm voice and turn away.....it lasts for hardly anytime at all but at first it did go on for a good few minutes.

Ignore his bad behaviour and praise good behaviour.....in my experience this has worked but we still have the old tantrums but I think this is more to do with his head strong personality.

Good luck :-)

Tina - posted on 05/13/2010

Hi Audra..as a mom of 3 boys I can say this is something you have to of play by ear. What I mean is that every child is different and you have to try different things and see which one works for you and your little one. Right now my 16 month old has started doing the same exact thing and I usually tell him no no and say to him you'll hurt yourself. After a few times of him bumping his head he gets the point and stops. I also have a couple of other things happening here..a 13 and 8 year old BIG BROS that think everything this little one is doing is FUNNY..so sometimes he'll do it just for attention. You could try ignoring it but I wouldn't ignore too much because I find at this age it only takes a split second for them to do something to themselves or get into something they are not supposed to. Hope this helps a bit...good luck.

Crystal - posted on 05/10/2010

mine does the samething right now.. i noticed its more when he starts to get an ear infection..so i check taht first... he has tubes and you can tell the dripping he has an infection... i dont still know what to do about throwing himself out the chair or on the floor or the ramming of the head... i just put him down to the lowest level of the floor and let him get it out of his system... if it lasts too long i just place him in his crib and walk away... it takes about 30 minutes sometimes but he calms down and you can tell he feels sorry...

Alex - posted on 05/09/2010

Oh I forgot to mention, with Thomas, there is usually a reason for a tantrum. We figured out the reason/pattern and now are available to avoid it. Usually he's just too tired or too hungry so we make sure we don't get to the tired/hungry stage. Since then he hasn't had many, but then there are moments he just needs to rage for a little while, it's their way of expressing frustration and trying to comfort him just makes it worse so I let him get it out of his system.

Alex - posted on 05/09/2010

We usually ignore it, without an audience there's no point. Once or twice we threw ourselves on the floor screaming just like him... that got a giggle out of him. Made him realize how silly it looked. Good luck ;-)

Nyoka - posted on 05/08/2010

I am so glad to see others having this same issue. My 16 month old has been doing this for about a month now. I thought that something must be wrong with him but now that I see others are having the same issue I fill a lot better.

The only thing that bothers me is he does not care where he is he falls straight back or straight forward does not matter if on the hardwood or on the cement he will bang his head no matter where he is.

Jennifer - posted on 05/08/2010

my 16-mo old does the same tantrum, except she stands there and screams to the top of her lungs. I have this unflinchingly bad urge to bust her butt. So I walk sit there and pretend that what she'sw doing doesn't phase me one bit and just ignore her let her cry it out. After she done I say "Crying is not the way to get what you want in this house." She looks at me and smiles and I redirect her attention to something more constructive like a toy or some coloring books. And she's fine!

Katy - posted on 05/08/2010

My son does this. He also hits his head on stuff (or hits his head with something) then laughs about it, because he thinks it's funny... Still not sure how to handle it, other than a regular temper tantrum. I ignore it, unless he's hitting his head on something that would hurt him.

Last week he wanted to be in the bathroom, & shut the door with me on the other side, so i said no. Stopped the door from shutting, & the tantrum started. He almost hit his head on the hard tile floor, so he went straight to the play pen for time out.

Valerie - posted on 05/07/2010

One thing I just learned about recently is a condition called Sensory Integration Dysfunction and some kids are overly sensitive while others are undersensitive. So some children will bang their heads on the floor for the feeling of it because they don't process those senses in the same way others do. I learned about it from a friend who's daughter was recently diagnosed with it when I was talking to her about some quirky behavior my daughter exhibits. There is a book out too called the "out of sync child" I believe it is. This could totally be normal tantrum behavior but just something you may want to read up on so you know more if it is just a normal behavior or if there is a problem there. Best wishes.

Jennifer - posted on 05/07/2010

my daughter does the same thing, we tell her no and then she starts to cry. But,my husband and I pick her up and tell her that she is hurting herself and she gives us a funny look. I think she understands because she has kind of stopped hitting her head on the floor and now goes over to the couch and hits her head on the couch. It is kind of funny.

Lydia - posted on 05/07/2010

My daughter does it for attention - the whole tantrum head-banging and all. So I ignore it. Or if Im watching when she does it I just let her go on. She has now learnt that she gets no sympathy for the tantrum induced accidents.
Dunno if that is the same thing as your son is doing but hopefully you will discover what the problemis and find a solution!

Alice - posted on 05/07/2010

Same here my 16mth old daughter has started screaming,slapping and scratching her 6yr. old brother and dad and mom when she dons't get her own way. I try to ignore her but she will come a throw something at me and then throw herself on the floor. I can ignore her but the rest of my family says a good smack on the butt will stop her from that. Any adivce will help. Also she takes her brothers glasses off his face not mine just his. I tried telling her no very strongly and she just takes them off him and hands them to me. I even tried tapping her little fingers and that dosn't work out of ideas.

Elisa - posted on 05/05/2010

my son started this too around 16 months, only within the last month. If I wasn't right there when it started I do a quick visual to make sure he's alright. But he's been getting upset because he can't get his toy car over the flooring transitions (like from the kitchen linoleum to the carpet). So it's got to be more than just not being able to communicate.
If it's obvious we are having a communication problem I tell him that I need his help he needs to show me what he wants. I don't think he understands everything I'm saying but when I'm down at his level I think he's at least getting that I'm listening and I want to understand.
Then there are just the plain not getting his way or can't make something do what he wants I don't give him the attention for it. I try to enforce that I am refusing attention by making eye contact before walking away. But most of the time I try not to look.

Corinne - posted on 05/05/2010

Hi there, my sixteen month old is throwing temper tantrums but he always makes sure his head is well cushioned before he chucks a wobbly on the floor.
if its a case hes looking for a reaction from you, the best thing you can do is NOT react. take him up. place him on his bum and hand him a toy, or maybe something to snack on. the worst thing you can do for a child throwing a tantrum is to react badly. my little brother has hit his head off things since he was very small in tantrums and he still continues to this day because everyone over reacts to it.

Believe me your child will never hit himself on his head enough to actually hurt himself. Hes either frustrated and looking for your attention, or hes just trying to get you to react.

Good luck with your bubby i hope he stops it soon

Kelly - posted on 05/04/2010

I wish I could help, my daughter has started to claw or slap her baby sister (10wks old) and just recently taken to doing to me as well. Generally removing her from the situation helps, sometimes she just goes right back to the situation. Time Out has started working, she knows her spot and to sit there until we let her up (took awhile to get there though). We only use Time Out for the most serious issues (hurting someone else, loss of any control). I think it is just a horrible part of this age since they can only use a few words and can't really communicate.

Tina-maria - posted on 05/04/2010

i have the same problem with my 16 month old daughter i just ignor her she stops it then has she is not gettin attention any more and i try to take her mind off why she was havin the tantrum in the first place within 5 mins its all forgotten wiv. It upset me to see my daughter like that i do my best to control the situation at i also have a 10 wk old as well

Jessica - posted on 05/04/2010

My 16 month old son has been doing this for a month or so. I usually just walk away. I also tell him we don't act like that and when he's done, where I'll be so he can find me. I just keep talking to him, ignoring the fit, and it seems to work pretty well when he realizes he isn't getting any attention. However, when it's around bedtime we deal with things a little differently because he's tired and more sensitive and it only makes things worse for my husband and I. However, we are having a problem of our own. He doesn't hurt himself when he is throwing a tantrum but he'll come running to me (usually), the dog, my husband, a wall etc. and slap it. We tell him why he can't do something or take the item from him and that usually starts the hitting. My husband and I have been cupping his arms or restraining him a bit and tell him "we do not hit (mommy/daddy)," it hurts, that isn't nice, etc. It sometimes gets him to stop but he hasn't stopped that naughty behavior yet.

Jessica - posted on 05/04/2010

Hey Audra. My 16 month old is doing the same thing. I've started to ignore him and it seems to be working, when he does it, I don't pay any attention to him. If he hits his head really hard I do of course, but majority of the time I completely just turn my head and ignore the situation.

Rhianna - posted on 05/02/2010

all i suggest is try diversion/ distraction. when danni has a tantrum, i'm lucky really, she just stomps her feet at me, but when she does it i say uh-oh and turn her attention to a toy. when my 11 year old was a bub, she's have those tantrums that she's hurt herself, headbutt the cot and whatnot, and make herself bleed by hitting her face on it. distraction worked for her. my middle child who is now 10 used to have almost like a seizure when she had tantrums. she'd go limp and start foaming at the mouth. i even took her to hospital to find out what was wrong thinking she may have epilepsy. After a series of tests including those ones to monitor brain waves, the doc said, sorry mrs reynolds, you just have a very bad tempered baby.

Audra - posted on 05/02/2010

ok i will try that i usualy do pick him up when he starts doing it i think it must be frustration like you said thanks so much

Vicki - posted on 05/01/2010

Whether you think so or not, there is a reason for a tantrum. Likely frustration, but it's hard to say without knowing the situation.



My son tries hitting his head sometimes. He knocks it once by accident, then again and again, because it's an interesting feeling or he thinks it's funny. I simply don't encourage it, or tell him, "Oh your poor head, ouch!" If you do believe your son is hurting himself, remove him from the situation immediately. Talk to him about what he is doing. He understands, and he wants you to understand him too.