Terrible 2s Early

Florence - posted on 05/18/2010

my 17 months boy is an expert, anytime he is upset he shakes his head and turns around like a mad boy. i did not experience this with my firstborn(girl) and u can imagine what i thought when i first saw this. I have become immune and i just let him do whatever and after sometime its over.

Juliette - posted on 05/17/2010

My 16 month old likes to throw tantrums as well and has been doing this for a few months now. As others have said, they do this because they cannot communicate with words yet. Lately, I'm finding that my son is usually hungry or tired but there is usually a reason for the outburst so I try to figure it out and comfort him as best possible. He's also teething so part of it may also be discomfort. I find that sticking to a schedule helps as well. His nap time is from 12-1 so I try not to plan things at this time and schedule things for after he wakes up and is in a good mood.

Yelena - posted on 05/16/2010

All i can Say is me 2 my daughter is in terrible 2s at 17 months

Geneviève - posted on 05/16/2010

Personally, I don't put up with tantrums. Call me strict but that's how I was raised. My son just turned 17 months and he started with his tantrums about 3 months ago. He no longer has tantrums because I corrected him right away. You must not ignore it and think it's going to go away. It will just get worse. I calmly explain to my son that he's allowed to his emotions just like anyone else but there are ways to deal with them. I ask him once to stop screaming, kicking and throwing stuff around. But if he doesn't, I put him in TIME-OUT. Time-out is great for the kid and the parent to keep their sanity. Here's the method : Give your child a warning. If they still continue, calmly bring your child to a chosen spot where they will serve their time-out. Explain to your child why you are putting them in time-out. Walk away without looking back. Of course you're child is going to get up and follow. Be sure to put them right back in the time-out spot without eye contact nor communication. Do this as many times as it takes. Set the timer for 2 min. 2 min may seem like a lifetime to your child. The only time you must go back to your child is when they get up from their spot. REMEMBER - no eye contact nor communication. I cannot stress how important this is. Most parents (like my husband) have made the mistake of talking to their child while bringing them back to the time-out spot. After the timer rings, go back to your child and explain why you put them there. Hugs and kisses and say 'you may come out now'. The first time I did it with my Gabriel, I was ready for a war. I underestimated my son. He understood very well what was happening when I put him in time-out. He only got up 5 times the first time, 3 times the second time and twice the 3rd time. Now he fully understands what time out means and the temper tantrums are no more. GOOD LUCK!

Amanda - posted on 05/14/2010

This is normal. My 16 month old daughter like jumps up, lands on her bottom and then throws her body back on the floor, when she dosn't get her way. I too walk away, when I notice that she is calming down, I ask her "are you done now?" If you give them too much attention, they will see their tantrum is working and will continue to do it.

Tina - posted on 05/13/2010

hi all...I must say that this is NOT the terrible 2s early..actually I found that the 2's are still sweet it's the 3's that get ya! Jayden is starting to show his temper and anger however you just work through it the best that you can. Try differents things and figure out which one he responds to the best. I'm not one for "time-outs", none of my boys have responded well to them. I said in another thread that each child is different and responds differently to how they are treated. I recently read an article saying that this is completely normal at this age for them to have temper tantrums. It reinforced what Faye was saying how they are trying to express themselves but they are not able to really talk and tell you what they want and they get frustrated. Anyone would get frustrated if they were trying to communicate and no one around them understood anything they were saying. The good news...it does get better. And this is my last child so I'm actually trying to enjoy every moment of him...good and bad.

Jenn - posted on 05/13/2010

i've always figured that if they're old enough to throw a fit like that, then they're old enough for timeout. it's always worked. i have three kids, 5, 3 1/2 & 1 1/2 and the oldest one was no more than 15 months when he got timeout the first time lol it's kinda funny actually, because the other two watch him in timeout, and they listen to me and calm down when i tell them to lol

what is fueling the tantrums though? is there a pattern? is it always around dinner time, or only when you go out in public, or when certain friends are there, or over a certain toy, time of day...? figuring out the cause, there usually is one, is a good way to learning to diffuse them before they happen ;) it's a bit of an avoidance technique, but so young, it's hard to get them to understand that their behaviour has reprecussions. besides, if it turns out to be an attention thing, then simply ignoring the situation might be your best bet :) as long as you follow through that is lol they have to learn that acting like that will NOT get them picked up, will NOT get them the cookie, will NOT get them the toy in the grocery store it'll wane. As long as it really truly doesn't... ever lol

Barb - posted on 05/13/2010

I had this problem with my daughter last month. She'd throw a tantrum every time she didn't get what she wanted. I tried several things, the only thing that worked was completely ignoring her. I wouldnt' even look at her and if we were in a room with a tv on, i'd turn the tv up so I could hear it over her. The tantrums got shorter and shorter and less and less and now are very few and far between. So my best advice is to completely ignore him. It is important to not even look at him because to kids this age that is still giving attention to their tantrum. Hope this helps!

Jessica - posted on 05/12/2010

Im there too! My daughter is 16 months. When she does not get her way she will scream.. I just let her scream it out and usually within a couple seconds it will pass.. she will just find something else to play with to entertaine her. Although when she wont calm down.. its time for a time out! She will sit in a time out chair.. for 3 minutes then come off... and when she comes off remember to show her love. :) Hugz and kisses so they understand their not introuble and your not mad.:) Hope that helpz out..

Faye - posted on 05/12/2010

Kids often get very frustrated when they feel they can not express themselves often right before a new development (their understanding / desire develops before speech). It has eased our tantrums by helping your child find ways to express himself baby sign language can help, for my 3rd we are working on him either saying no or roaring at his brother when mad vs biting or hitting.

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2010

if my son has a meltdown and is crying because he's tired or whatever, i let him cry for a few minutes just to see if he will stop on his own, which he mostly does. if not, i pick him up and he lays his head on my shoulder and we go to a quiet, mostly dark room and i just slowly "dance" with him while humming. totally works.

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2010

my son doesn't throw tantrums. he might get mad if i take something he's not supposed to have, but i redirect, give him something else to do. most of the time if he's busy exploring or figuring out how something works, he's happy. when we go to the store, i usually let him hold onto something to mess with, and when he's tired of that, i give him something else. he is really quiet most of the time unless he's tired or hungry, so i make sure he's fed and had enough sleep. we take him everywhere with us, and never once has he thrown a fit. i hope you guys can figure out ways to stop the insanity! haha

Jenna - posted on 05/10/2010

Time-outs! No, seriously, time-outs seem to work the best at this age. Calmly, sternyl telling the child nor or bad when they are acting out of order. I also count to 3. If it seems like a losing battle I do "alone time". My son will go in his room and I will put some toys in his crib and put a movie on his tv. He may fall asleep if he's tired but most times he just plays by himself and "talks" his attitude out. When he is ready to be back with Mommy .. he yells for "Mommy" and I know it is time to get him. This normally takes between 30 min to 2 hours depending if he takes a nap.

Sharyn - posted on 05/10/2010

when my daughter does her tantrum dance, i ignore her completely, she soon gives up.

and when she hits her head on the floor purposely, i say to her "did that hurt?" and she stops or continues throwing hte tantrum without head banging.



if she fights me on sleep and i know shes tired but shes too stubborn to give in, i let her cry herself to sleep...... i dont have a choice, she's been up for 6+ hours and needs it.

Keisha - posted on 05/10/2010

my 17mth old does the vcery same thing. She throws herself on the ground screams for about a minute. I just ignore her and then she stops. Whats hard is when its bedtime and she is fighting the sleep. i am told that i should let her cry herself to sleep, but havent been able to do that yet :S

Katy - posted on 05/08/2010

Well Aiden's tantrums are mostly at home, for now. But I'm worried about him hurting himself. His tantrums usually go, he flops down on his butt, & throws himself backwards to cry. Last week he did this in the bathroom, and barely missed the tile floor! I can't imagine what that would do, but I'm sure throwing his head on that hard of a floor would hurt!

Ashley - posted on 05/08/2010

I'm right there with you! Shawn is 16 months. Been doing this for a few months now. I have started a "timeout area" to put Shawn in when he starts up and just ignore him if I'm busy doing things and he will eventually stop. Even threw himself down in the middle of a store the other day but I just kept walking and he realized he wasn't getting what he wanted and picked himself up and followed me.

Rhianna - posted on 05/06/2010

yeah i'm there too. my 16 month old mainly has her tantrums at night at around midnight which makes it hard when hubby has to get up for work at 4am. last night was only 1 hr of sleep. mum came over today and told me to ignore her and she slowly started to slow down, back up and amuse herself. mum says it'll take about 3 days of ignoring this behaviour and only giving her attention when she's not throwing tantrums for her to get the picture. fingers crossed ladies!

Rachel - posted on 05/06/2010

My son tantrums like he is screaming bloody murder...it doesn't help that his 3 year old sister tantrums once in a while either. So if she has a meltdown...he follows suit..grr!! ;)

Lucy - posted on 05/06/2010

All i can Say is me 2 my son is in terrible 2s at 16 months

Ashley - posted on 05/06/2010

My daughter is right there too. Most the time we are at home and somethings she doesn't like sets her off and most the time I ignore her. It doesn't seem to help though she just screams even louder. I can't seem to make it any better so I have given up, when she starts her tantrum I pick her up and put her in her room to cry and leave her in there till she stops screaming. Then I go in and comfort her but it doesn't make it any easier listening to her scream.

Teddi - posted on 05/06/2010

My son does the same thing and he is 16 months. If he doesn't get his way he starts throwing a tantrum. I just started putting him in timeouts too. One of my clients suggested that instead of the cribs or playpen get a little rug and make him stay in that spot each time. As he/she gets older up the time a little bit...So far its helped some though he is still young to completely comprehend why he's in trouble. Good luck to everyone!

Kiersten - posted on 05/05/2010

I think this is normal, since all of the mom's responding seem to have gone through this or are. My son, who is 16 months, started this at 15 months. It did not last very long. I did some reading and read that because they don't know how to speak words yet, this is a way of letting off frustration when they cannot figure something out, or when us as parents cannot figure out what they want. My son throws himself on the floor, but it is funny to watch only because he is so careful about it. In the beginning, he cried and cried and it made us nervous, then we started watching him to see what exactly he was doing and we knew. I read to ignore it, they will burn off steam and pent up energy and move on to something else. It is difficult being a new parent, and ignoring things like this, but if you show attention and go after your child to comfort, your child will know how to trigger a response to his/her wants. My son has had one tantrum recently, and my husband and I could not figure it out, so we let him throw it. It can be grinding, especially when he wants to be clingy then wants to go, then continues, but thankfully they are short tantrums and don't amount to much but everyone feeling tired later. :) Ignoring it is your best option, what I have done is go as far as saying, "ok then throw your tantrum" and I have walked into an adjoining room so I can keep an eye on him. This will make it a little worse because he thinks I am leaving but when I don't react he quickly quiets down. The major tantrums lasted about a week, and now they are few. But we know there is more to come. I don't know if this was helpful or not, but this is what works for us. Good luck it will get better.

Melinda - posted on 05/05/2010

Tricia, instead of putting him in a crib for time out you could try having a portable playpen available at all times to put him in when he is acting up.

Tricia - posted on 05/05/2010

We believe Liam is going through this as well. It's not very pleasant when they are so young! My daughter was well into her 2nd year before we had to deal with that! Being so young there isn't much we can do to ease it. I ignore him, walk away, say NO NO and try to divert his attention else where besides what he is flipping out over! I have started to put him in his crib when he has a tantrum, for the one minute. But I don't want him getting turned off from his bed either knowing it's where he goes when he is naughty. It is so hard not knowing what to do!!

Nikki - posted on 05/05/2010

My little girl is 16 months and doing the same thing. Mood swings galore! ONe minute she s Monny's little helper, the next it is like a complette180. I am just trying to stay calm with her and take it in stride. I think that is really all we can do.

Zara - posted on 05/04/2010

My daughters aren't too bad yet. She keeps herself pretty quite when she is mad. She will just give you the shoulder and turn and put on a sad face. Some times she will just scream and run off. She hits her brother some times but not that often. All I know to do is a firm no every time she starts to have a tantrum maybe eventually she will stop. Good Luck

Zara Nichols
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4AHappyLife.com

Kim - posted on 05/03/2010

oh gosh im right there with you. my son is 16 months and the temper tantrums are awful he hits anyhting in sight and kicks everything. he started to become really difficult wen i go shopping now. in the last month ive started to completely ignore him wen hes starts playing up. wen he screams to get out of his pram i just dont pay him any attention... which means i end up walking around town with everyone looking at me because of the noise hes making..its very embarrasing ha. but hes started getting better now the tantrums are limited. Good luck we need it ha