Too early for time outs??

Jessi - posted on 05/24/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I have a 17 month old that has quite an attitude at times and throws tantrums at home and in public. She used to be so easy going and we could take her anywhere, but lately it is a chore to take her anywhere. She screams in the car when she is in her car seat for more then a few minutes and when shopping she is fussy and throws things. Help! How do we stop this? I know it's just a phase, but I want to teach her that it is wrong to throw tantrums when you want something or are tired/bored. Is she too young for a time out? I know she can't sit in a time out for long periods, but will it do any good to even try it at her age? Thanks for any suggestions!

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Karina - posted on 06/20/2010

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Since we do not use the pack-n-play for naptime or for anything else, we decided that it would become the time-out place for our 18 month old daughter for right now. she would not stay on a chair for more than 10 seconds and she does not really understand what went wrong, but being "caged" for no more than 5 minutes has helped her to calm down and associate that she did something unacceptable. this was suggested by both the pediatrician, my mother, and my older sister.
as far as when out shopping - i have been that mother that apologetically leaves her shopping cart with a clerk because we are leaving a store due to bad behavior. we have gone to sit in the car or return home. this has only happened once.
just be consistent. my diaper bag is filled with toys and snacks which help deter tantrums. and i always carry a drink for her too. think of yourself as a boy-scout - always be prepared - when leaving the house.

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Sharyn - posted on 07/03/2010

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My daughter is now 19 months old and since she was 17 months i've been sending her to her room for time outs ... she hates it but it gets the point across, i leave her in her room for about 15 mins and then go to see her and ask her if shes done with her tantrum. she talks to me in her baby language and walks out of her room and behaves .... but everytime she misbehaves even if it is 5 mins later after a time out, she goes back in .... it works ....

Jennifer - posted on 06/11/2010

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I know exactly how you are feeling, I have a 18 month old daughter and having these same problems, i have been using time out since she was 17 months and it does work, i put her in the "naughty" chair for 3 minutes and if she tries to get up without permission then i will make it 5 min. Time outs really do help, she is starting to understand things that she can do and can not do. Hope this helps. Time out works for us!

Tasia - posted on 06/09/2010

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My daughter is also 17 months and she is as I like to put it, a DIVA. When she is throwing a fit or just having attitude that day, we say it's a "diva day" and she is having "diva-tude". Recently we started putting her in time out, and it works! If she is doing something wrong, we tell her to stop, and then give her one more warning, and if she doesn't stop, we simply sit her in the corner for about a minute or two. If you just stick to it and not back down, you will see results!!

Tina - posted on 06/09/2010

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My son is 18 months, & doesn't throw tantrums, but when he has hit someone, we tell him to go to time-out, & he goes & sits on a step, & then we ask him if he is going to do it again, & to tell whoever he hit that he is sorry, & then he goes & gives them a hug or kiss to say he is sorry. It seems to work well. I would try it & see what happens, just don't put her there for a longtime. Usually a minute for how old they are. I usually don't put mine there for that long, although sometimes he suts there, 7 someone has to tell him he can get up now. Hope this helps.

Rachel - posted on 06/09/2010

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colleen keep on at it as it took us a while 2 get our son 2understand he knows now he has 2 give me a cuddle and then we play. im glad 2 c so many doing this as i was gettin funny looks from ppl sayin he was 2 young x

Colleen - posted on 06/08/2010

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Glad to hear that time outs are working for lots of people, I started using this technique with my 17 mth old, with no luck so far. Its terrible, he screams and holds his breath until he turns blue. I am almost ready to throw in the towel, but after reading your blog, I'll keep trying!

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2010

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Lo,I have a seventeen month old boy and we use time outs for him. He gets one warning then if he disobeys he gets put into a blue chair for 1 & half minutes. He is then told to say sorry (or the nearest thing to!) alot of the time he bites or pinches us & so goes back in. He definitely understands as sometimes when he gets out of the chair he goes back to doing what he was told not to but he says " Chair, chair" at the same time

Jenn - posted on 06/04/2010

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all three of my children have been 'time-out' kids since they were old enough to really cause trouble lol i think my oldest had his first time out when he was about 15 months old, my daughter at a year (argh girls!) my youngest is 18 months now and he hasn't needed one... he's seen the other two, knows what it means, and all i have to do is threaten lol if you're going to go the time out route, i only have piece of advice, and that is be persistant! if you falter even once and don't follow through or you give in... she won't you seriously, and it will be very hard to make it work! if you can stick to your guns, it only takes a few rounds before they get it, and the warning is enough :) good luck!

Louise - posted on 06/04/2010

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hi my son is 18 month he has time out because since he was 15 months hes had bad tantriums and goes mential and head bangs so i just put him in his bed its safer then him hiting his head on tge floor and the table,im not shore if its a boy thing with the head banging,but time out is not about how old they are they need to learn not to play up and get away with it so i say go for it.....

Rachel - posted on 06/04/2010

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i am so glad im not the only one doing this. we have been doin it 4 a few months now and i always make sure i tell him why he is there and wen he has done his minute we have cuddles and kisses and i give him a toy 4 him 2 play with. some1 told me 2 give him a toy 2 distract away from the previous behaviour and this all seems 2 b workin :-)

Nicole - posted on 06/03/2010

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i also am experiencing the 17 month tantrums with my little miss, i thought it was due to her now being a big sister to a 2 month old and the jealousy. we have her in routines, she is usually a happy, fun loving little girl, but as soon as i step out of her sight, it's on. she lasts 2 aisles in the shopping centre before the tantrum starts and the car, well we try not to drive anywhere is we can help it. she get's so excited to go to the "shops" and "car" and once we are in either it turns terrible. and time out's well they anger her even more, she has a very strong personality so i guess i will have to just be persistant. i feel your pain!

Becky - posted on 06/03/2010

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Yes I do the same, in the corner for 1 1/2 minutes since she is 17 mo. She sees big sister do her time outs at 3 so she knows the routine! I only had to spend about 1/2 hour with her the first time we did time out before she got the hang of it and realized it wasn't a game. Good Luck!

Amber - posted on 06/02/2010

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I use time outs as well. After about a month of them, same as a previous poster if anyone asks her if she wants a time out she will say no and stop screaming/throwing or etc. Also off of super nanny, she said one minute for each year of age. I do 1 1/2 minutes. I explain to her she is going to time out for doing so and so. Then after she is done I ask her if she is sorry and she says yes and I tell her I love her so much and give her a hug and kiss. Its working for us.(I'm a fan because what she says really does work!)

Tia - posted on 06/02/2010

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When my 16month old daughter refuses to behave we put her in her time out chair for about a minute, If she still refuses we put her on for another minute, By then she realises if im naughty im going straight back on the chair lol... F=Good luck with it xx

Angie - posted on 06/02/2010

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I have a stool that i put my 17 1/2 month daughter on. I follow the rule of one minute for every year she is. So for now she only sits for 1 minute. The other day she hit me so i set her in time out and sternly told her that we do not hit. When her minute was up, i told her she could get up. She hit me again so i put her back in time out and explained again that we do not hit. When she got up after her minute she wen and played nicely. There have been a few times where i struggle to get her to sit so i just keep putting her back and her minute starts over.

Nicolle - posted on 06/01/2010

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My son is 17 months old and he has been throwing tantrums since he turned 1 yr. What we do is we give our son three chances to change things around and if he still doesn't listen to us, we put him in a timeout spot (a special spot just for timeouts) and we sit there with him until he calms down (one minute for each yr old), then we explain to him what he did and why we had a timeout and then give him a hug and move on like nothing happened. This was what our pediatrician said to try and it has been working well.

I also had trouble getting our son to be quiet in the car as well and I found that it was out of boredom so I found him some toys to play with and now we don't have any issues in the car.

Angela - posted on 06/01/2010

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i am in the same boat and was wondering the same thing, my daughter is 17 months and i was thinking of starting time outs too. i love super nanny so i am going to try what she says, one minute per year of age. i am just not sure how to get her to stay somewhere for a minute or if she will understand. anyways good luck to all moms, lol!!

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2010

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Nope! My son has needed anger managment since he was born.......lol. I started putting him in time out when he was 10 months old. He is a lot better now and I hope it gave me an early stop to nipping the torrible twos in the bud early!

Gwen - posted on 05/31/2010

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I also like to ignore the tantrums - she gets it that it doesn't get our attention.

Gwen - posted on 05/31/2010

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How I can relate! My little one started tantruming around one; and she lets out these brain numbing screams sometimes - boredom or frustration, I suppose. For the car - the last time she screamed like that, I pulled off of the road and stopped the car, turned around and firmly told her that screaming is not okay...and she looked at me like "who, me?"....but she didn't do it again. And I've since put a little bag of small busy toys that make noises, can be manipulated, and light up in the car - it helps. I've done a time out where I've held her still in a chair for a minute and sometimes I can just redirect her with words and an alternative activity. Still dealing with swatting behavior when she's very tired - that soooo needs to stop! Sorry for going on - it's nice to talk about this with other moms in the same place.

Kristine - posted on 05/30/2010

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have you tried letting her walk around with you or maybe push a cart just a couple of suggestions to try to keep her busy wile in the store my 18 month old son likes to push the big carts wile i steer.

Beth - posted on 05/28/2010

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Time out is great for both my 2 1/2 year old and 17 month old daughters. At home I stick them on the couch, one minute per year, or until they stop crying. If they get up while in time out, they get sat back down and time starts all over. They learn real quick that time out is no fun and they know to stop crying and sit there once they're in time out.

Jessi - posted on 05/28/2010

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Thanks so much everyone for your advice! I really appreciate it!! We are just taking it one day at a time and have started to really stick to a schedule, it seems to be helping! :)

Lauren - posted on 05/28/2010

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We have time out for my 17 month old. He sits there for a minute or so, and i know it's working. He cries and says "mummy, cuddle".. so when i get him off he has cuddles and kisses and we get on with the day.

Natalie - posted on 05/26/2010

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We put our daughter in time outs. I put her in her crib for about two minutes, and when I come back, she is calm and much better once we get her out of her crib. It has really helped. I have also found that when we are at home if she starts getting snotty, I just ignore her and she quiets down really quick.

Heather - posted on 05/25/2010

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We use the Time Out Pad for our girls when they need a time out. It's great and portable too - easy to use as well. The recommended time for a time out is one minute for how old the child is. You start up the pad, (the red light comes on) place your child on it and if they get off early, a negative noise is made and halfway though the yellow light comes on and when your child is finished the green light comes on and a positive noise is made which signals that your child is finished. It's a great product and I'm so glad I bought it.

http://www.keendistribution.com/timeOutP...

Nicole - posted on 05/25/2010

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My daughter gets around 30 seconds and I am with her the entire time explaining to her why she is in time out. She also gets worse when tired. My biggest suggestion is get her on a schedule and stick to it like crazy. My daughter has specific nap and bedtimes and we stick with it. Also specific feeding times as well. Since starting this a couple of months ago the tantrums have gone way down. She easily flows throughout the day.

User - posted on 05/24/2010

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WE put our son in time out. Every room has its own spot. When he is time out there is not noise, or other background noise except what I was doing before hand. We usually do it for two minutes. He understands very well what it means, and calms down right away. We tell him "Ok you can get out of time out now!" and he gets out and comes over and hugs us. His understanding of what time out is for is remarkable.

Ella - posted on 05/24/2010

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Well we put my son in time out. Sometimes we put him in his crib and tell him time out and then once he calms down we get him. Now we just say 'do u want a time out and he says 'Noooo. So its kinda working but it is very difficult. Good luck

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