any sleep seperation ideas

Erica - posted on 01/31/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Does anyone have any tips, ideas, or advice on how I can stop my 17m old from co-sleeping with me. I just can't let her "cry it out".. i tried briefly twice but it was so hard, plus after crying for so long and working herself up, she ends up vomiting.

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Micki - posted on 02/13/2012

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very informative, HOPE AUGUSTINE. thx! how old was she when she was going through this? my daughter is 1 1/2 years old, but not sure if she'll understand the build-a-bear project yet.

Erica - posted on 02/12/2012

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wow these are all incredible suggestions and i definitely am going to see what works for my daughter and myself. The good thing is i'm on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so I can be much more patient with her taking her time to fall asleep ya know. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you all so much! it''s very hard being a single mother. I have supportive parents & my dad watches my daughter while i work but night time is all me, ya know. Im just really appreciative there is a website like this to help moms like me, especially seeing beside my sister in law, i dont know anyone else with children. so this def. helps

Hope - posted on 02/10/2012

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My older daughter went through the same thing. She was exactly the same way, she could never cry it out, and would vomit all over. I feel for you, really I do. I started with the every few minutes going back in and trying to calm her down, without picking her up-a hug, a kiss, etc. Then I would tell her to lay down, I'd be right back. (Also I'm not sure if she already does, but my daughter did better with a brighter night-light, the original one was frosted, the new one was clear glass) I would give her a few minutes and go back in again a few minutes later. that took a little bit, but she got used to it, it didn't cure her, but it made her a little calmer. we went to the build a bear and got her a special animal that she picked out. this was (and still is) her "bed only" stuffy. this bear stayed in the crib only, so it was something she associated with sleeping/bedtime. we would start a routine of kissing, singing (like rock a bye baby) to it, tucking it in, etc, to show her what to do at night.



Then I would drag the ottoman from her glider rocker over to her crib and sit right next to her. if she got up, started crying, or started reaching for me, i would tell her to lay back down, or Mommy would have to leave. if she didn't lay down on her own, I would calmly tell her to as I laid her down. i would stay there for a bit until she settled or fell asleep. after a week or so, I would slowly decrease the distance i sat next to her. eventually it was in the rocker across the room. and then i would sit in the rocker for a minute or two, then just get up and leave. sometimes she would fuss, so I would say, mommy will be right back. eventually we started doing the night time routine with the bear and i could leave, then she started doing it all on her own.



It takes time, and patience, but the only thing I can promise you is that it doesn't last forever! good luck, and keep us posted.



(PS there's a great stuffed animal/light light thing called "Light in the Night" - Hallmark stores sell them. Both my daughters love them, it's a monkey looking animal that has a soft, glowing belly. it's great-wish this was around when she was little!)

Michelle - posted on 02/05/2012

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Have you tried the "gradual" approach? First night, by her crib, 2nd, a few feet away, third, outside the door etc .... i don't mean sleeping in those spots (for you) but just staying there till she does fall asleep?

Erica - posted on 02/01/2012

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Jade.. thank you so much for your advice. I never put her playpen in my room but for a while I slept on a blow up mattress in hers just so she would sleep in her crib. Maybe thats where i screwed up, i'm going to take your suggestion & put her pack n play in my room and take it from there. I wish there was a manual for children lol -

Jade - posted on 01/31/2012

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Have you tried letting her sleep in a playpen next to your bed? If you're not ready to let her cry it out, then that would probably be your best bet so it's not such a shock for your baby to be away from mommy. That's what I did for a while, then when I moved my daughter into her crib, I would rock her in a rocking chair in her nursery until she fell asleep in my arms then put her in her crib...that's the only way I could get her to sleep in her crib without letting her cry it out. Hope you figure something out, cause I know letting them cry it out is heartbreaking...but on the other hand I'm sure you want your bed back! lol good luck!

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