How to deal with baby daddy's..

Nataly - posted on 03/27/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am not with my son's father and I have a hard time communicating with him when he has my son on Sunday's. I feel the need to call him whenever he doesnt respond when I ask about my son. I hate that I have to do that, what shoud I do?

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Annette - posted on 04/24/2012

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Idk what to tell you I'm in the same mess I can't get my sons father to answer me when his gfs around either .. but in reality it her insecurity thts why he doesn't answer she. prob thinks your tryina talk to him when in reality you just want to know about your son ..

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Tamela - posted on 01/11/2014

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My baby daddy left 2days before I finding out about me being pregnant with my twins. Time will heal all wombs. Since I been 5months and I didn't try to call him and wasn't paying him no attention. He is running after me and blowing my phone up. So give them some time. Even through we are not together we have a good communication system.

Nataly - posted on 03/27/2012

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Tori, everything you have described is what's happening with me now. His girlfriend tried to be friends with me when I was pregnant, but I pushed her away because I did not feel comfortable with anything that was going. So when I tried making peace with her she chose to ignore me I guess. I figured if I keep the peace with his girlfriend, he would come around. But for the past 3 months I tried making peace with her, nothing has changed. He is still the same asshole. But I will have to do what you are advicing me, because it isnt right he is doing that.

Tori - posted on 03/27/2012

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I can certainly understand how keeping the court out of it could be attractive, since it tends to complicate things. But as someone who has been in a similar situation before, it just makes it way too easy for a father who isn't really interested in being a parent to slack off and take advantage of you, and leave you with no recourse.



If the courts are not involved, then what I see happening is you are voluntarily letting him have time with his son out of the kindness of YOUR heart, which you have absolutely no legal obligation to do at this point. It looks to me like his relationship with his current girlfriend is more important to him than having a civil relationship with his son's mother - which will be damaging to your son in the long run. Ask yourself, what is he going to learn from his father's behavior?



If I were you, I would stop letting him have these Sunday visits until he can agree to respond to your (perfectly within reason) questions about your son's welfare. If he can't take the five minutes to send a text or give a call saying how he's doing, he doesn't deserve to have a visit. If his girlfriend has such a problem with merely speaking to you, how do you think she must feel about having the son of her boyfriend's ex in her home every week? Chances are HER influence isn't that healthy, either. If it were my son, I would pull him out of that situation.



If your boyfriend wants to be part of your son's life then he needs to take it seriously enough to stand up to his current girlfriend about it.

Nataly - posted on 03/27/2012

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I only speak to him when I have to. Which is ever sunday when he has my son. Sunday's are his days with our son. But he refuses to speak to me because of his girlfriend. I think she is a bit insecure. I am not sure. But when he has my son I ask him how is he? no answer. I have to call his house to see how my son is, because he wont answer and i hate doing that. I asked him several times, keep me posted. I am not asking to hear from you every hour, I would just like to know how my son is, thats all. But it seems to be a problem with him or his girlfriend. Not sure.



We both decided into keeping the court out of it, but he seems to be making it difficult. I really am trying to keep the peace.

Louise - posted on 03/27/2012

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What do you mean? When he has your son with him or to talk about your son?



Either way if he does not respond then kick his backside into touch. He either wants to be a parent or not! He has to face up to talking to you as you are both equal in raising this child. He can not ignore you because it suits him. If this is becoming a habit then write him a letter and state what you are trying to talk to him about and that if he does not respond then you will take him to court and see what they say about it.

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