How to stop a 10mo's habit of being nursed to sleep?

Charlotte - posted on 12/12/2010

oh my... i don't like it when people say they "train" their babies... i train my dog....i teach my baby!

Sweta - posted on 12/10/2010

Hey Guys

Agree and Disagree to a lot of the points you all are making. I think the bottom line is this. There is no general way of Parenting because Parenting is a very very personal thing to each individual and each baby. I completely agree with the providing of comfort at any given hour to your child, but at the same time, I also believe in boundaries. what I mean is that if i were to completely ignore ALL demands of my child and leave him/her alone to cry forever, then I am DEFINATELY hurting my child's brain and emotion, but if I am being harsh on my child because a certain habit is to be formed to make his and my life more sane, then no, I am not hurting my child's self esteem. I am there for all their needs and only trying to train them to learn a certain habit (be it sleeping, or letting go of a bottle, or desciplining), then i am NOT harming my child's brain or emotions. We all grew up with our parents being harsh on us for certain things here and there, but that did not hurt our self-esteem or make us believe that our parents are not there for us. I am not an advocate of cold turkey on any child without actaully understanding and satisfying the needs of the child. I am simply saying that there is a difference between need and habit. It is up to the respective parent to decide which is which for their child. for example, though I used the CIO method for my kids, I did NOT use it exactly how it is suggested. I ensured my kids were well attended to and not just left crying in despair feeling like they are a burden to me. Flourish your child in every possible manner you want him/her to with ALL the CAPACITY you have. Not ALL parents have the capacity of spending sleepless nights with their child due to various different factors. So if it hinders your care giving for them due to one problem (sleep), then fix it. I am in TOTAL agreement with you guys that there is NO rule that the child HAS TO be sleep trained as soon as he/she is 6 months or any certain age as such. Make the call when you think is right for you and your baby and with the Method you think is right for yourself and your baby. Hope this helps clarify my previous post :)

Amy - posted on 12/10/2010

It's a matter of perspective. I don't see a problem in this situation. My 3 boys all nurse(d) to sleep. None of them would use a paci, but I never tried that hard to get them to. I feel like nursing is a precious and fleeting time and I love the whole experience, so being their near-exclusive source of food and comfort for the short time I can provide it isn't a problem. IMO, the efforts and "inconveniences" you invest up front will develop a more secure child. Trust me, your child WILL fall asleep by himself one day. There is no rule that he has to do it now. There are no ribbons or awards or future job promotions for a child (or his parent) who defies these fabricated expectations. He is telling you what he needs and wants. He wants/needs close contact with you for longer than you are expecting. So...wear him. Sleep with him. Nurse on demand. It'll soon enough be gone forever.

Angel - posted on 12/09/2010

Hey Charlotte,



Thanks! You make some really good points in your post as well. I took a nap every time my son took a nap. Well, at first I didn't but then my midwives suggested it to me and I am soooo glad I did. Sometimes my son wouldn't want to nap without me holding him and in the event that happened, I would put my night shirt in the crib with him and it worked like a charm! The one health reason that nursing is good for babies that I can think of off the top of my head is that it REDUCES the chance of SIDS. I know there are other reasons but can't think of them now.

Charlotte - posted on 12/09/2010

hi Angel... great post! totally agree with all you said!!

Angel - posted on 12/09/2010

Hey Elysa,



I used to wonder myself if I would ever get away form nursing my son to sleep. I even felt like a pacifier at times. The good news is it won't always be that way. I do not recommend the cry it out method. I would suggest you do a bit of research. Studies are showing that leaving a baby to cry it out can result in brain damage. Some moms will say "but my babies are fine and they cried it out" good for them but do you want your baby to be the exception? The only reason that babies finally stop crying, when left to "cry it out", is because they have given up all hope that someone will come to their rescue. He won't want to be nursed to sleep forever. Have you ever heard of kellymom.com? It is the absolute best site for nursing mothers.



I can understand you needing a break though. When I felt like I needed a break I would pump my milk and have my honey give it to him in a bottle at bedtime instead of me nursing him. Didn't take long before he didn't need it anymore. Oh and I wouldn't worry about what other people's peds have to say, they all say something different. You are his mom so only you can say what is best.



"You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount

Georgina - posted on 12/08/2010

am in the same situation My 11 month old will not let any one else put him to sleep and he has to nursed to sleep which takes me about 30 min to 45 mins before i can put him in his cot. But he does sleep though the night so i do not have any probs there.It makes it hard for i have 4 other children as well that i need to organise to go to bed and bath. I am hoping that he will grow out of this stage, but i will miss it when that does happen :)

Charlotte - posted on 12/08/2010

hi! i know its hard not getting sleep...but babies wake in the night... its normal. for one it keeps your milk supply up...as someone just said... when their baby started sleeping through the night their milk supply diminished and had to supplement with formula. very few babies actually go through the night without feedings....and did you know that to a baby a full nights sleep is 5 hours? its NATURAL to nurse your baby to sleep. chemicals are released that make the baby sleepy, they feel warm and safe. What would you rather, have a screaming baby, or have to rock your baby to sleep? i would choose nursing my baby to sleep anyday! when your feeding him and he falls asleep just pop him off the breast, and then when he's used to that do it just before he falls asleep. very few babies actaully fall asleep in the cot on their own with no help from mama. its normal for a baby to wake up twice a night until they are a year old. i think its unfair howmuch pressure mums put on their babies in trying to get the to fall asleep on their own... after all... aren't you going to be there all the time to do it? if you are a working mum that does evening hours then thats a different story of course! i know its so hard getting less sleep but change you life to fit the baby, i think its unfair that mums expect their babies to change their life for the mums! can you nap in the day when your lo does? a baby will sleep through the night when they are ready! just be proud that you are doing the very best for your baby by not denying him food at night and by nursing him to sleep!!! also, you could try introudcing a comforter that has your smell and is there when you nurse. good luck!
also, sorry for going on! their are many health reasons why nursing at night is GOOD for babies, research it online, i cant thing of the facts right now, sorry!!

Sweta - posted on 12/08/2010

so looks like in your case your son has gotten to know that if he cried for 30 minutes you will go back and nurse him and that's exactly what he is doing to you. i don't have this issue because i sleep trained my kids at 7 months with CIO method and it really worked well to get them weaned off as well. you might want to take it a step at a time. get your son to not feed at all around nap time. make him full with other food (solids or formula) and then put him to nap. if you have a choice, let someone else go in the room when he wakes up instead of you and that may put him back to sleep faster. once you have that achieved, then you can try to do the same for the night time sleep. my husband usually helps me put my son to sleep since he was 7 mos so that he doesn't expect a nurse right before his bedtime. Now that he is 11 months, he doesn't ask for a nurse before bedtime even when i put him to sleep just because he has already learned not to expect it. Also, try not to use a pacifier at all. 11 months is too old to get them using a pacifier. they really can put themselves to sleep and stay asleep for 10 - 12 hours. It is a tough job, I agree, but you must stay firm in your heart to take this leap. trust me you'll see the benefits once you are over the hill :)

There is a good book on sleep training, "healthy habits happy child" which helped me get my act right for both my kids. hope it can help you too. Good luck.

Erin - posted on 12/04/2010

This is what I did. I stopped nursing him is his room. I would nurse in a well lit area and then we go upstairs and read stories. I read him about 5 books then put him in his crib and and usually he goes to sleep. I do still nurse him right before bed time so that he sleeps a bit longer but no more nursing right before nap time. Hope that helps. It's hard to change a routine, give it time.

Ashley - posted on 12/04/2010

ya my 11month old still feeds at night and he wakes up like every few hours and it's stressful cuz i actually haven't got a full night sleep since before i ever had kids i think. ive tried everything to i gave him formula during the day and everyonce in a while i breast feed him and feed him soilds and at night like half an hr to hr before his bed time i feed him soilds...then when it's time for bed i breast feed him for a lil bit and then i let him cry it out but he doesn't sleep through the night yet :S

Cisy - posted on 12/02/2010

I use the Mam brand of pacifier. I've tried a few different brands before she started to take this one. Maybe you can talk to your baby's pediatrician. Mine was informative on how to get baby to sleep.

Elysa - posted on 12/01/2010

Also, I tried rocking him to sleep instead of nursing him but he insists on being nursed. My partner can't really help me. My baby is so attached to me right now that when he's sleepy he always asks for me.

Elysa - posted on 12/01/2010

I let him cry it out at 7mo. So he only feeds once/twice during the night. I also feel my milk supply decreasing and I try supplementing with formula but the baby won't take it at all. Also, I tried pacifier a couple of times but he doesn't want it. What brand do you use?

Cisy - posted on 11/30/2010

My daughter's pediatrician told me to stop feeding her at night at 6 months. Since then, she's been sleeping through the night. She sleeps from 7pm-7am. I stopped nursing at 7 months because when she sleeps through the night, my milk supply decreased a lot. So i had to supplement formula. Then one day, just stopped completely. The Dr. told me that babies don't need to drink milk in the middle of the night. I definitely miss the bonding time but we both get great sleep every night =) I did start giving her a pacifier at 6 months. Before that, she wouldn't take it, but all of a sudden she did. So maybe you can try that, because sometimes, the sucking effect helps them sleep.

Shannon - posted on 11/30/2010

I had this problem & was just getting so drained & exhausted cause you end up being the only one that can put them to sleep each & every time! When bubs was about 7-8mths I switched feeding times to as soon as bubs woke up from a nap rather than after solids or just prior to sleep time. It took a few days but it has worked. My LO has 4-5 feeds most days, 5-6am then 10:30-11am, 3-4pm then her night feed about 1hr after dinner which is usually 1/2hr -1hr prior to bed 7-8pm. We do have some day/nights when she wants to feed more if teething or just to help relax/comfort which I dont mind now because it is not every feed/each day it is only on occasion. My partner can now put her to sleep when im @ work 1 day per week & if I need to be somewhere else with other children etc I dont need to worry that she wont get her sleep. Good luck

Nicole - posted on 11/29/2010

I am in the same situation! My son does not sleep at night though. I don't want to force him to cry it out just yet. I think once he starts to wean himself from bf'ing, it will be time to try harder. I just think some babies need you more than others. i know i will miss this bonding time when its over!

Mercedes - posted on 11/28/2010

ME!! i am definetely going through this, Im actually tring to ween him off. My son doesnt sleep 10-11 hours at night though, so i wouldnt mind advice about that. I feed him i want to say 3 or four times a day. For night time, he screams his longs off, I try everything, feeding him large meals, snuggling him, but I know what he wants of course. So i give him milk and hes out like a light. Wakes up 4 hours later for the same thing, i know hes not hungry though. So Im struggling with the same problem. Do you give in or do you let him cry himself to sleep?