taking any advice but be nice

Kortney - posted on 10/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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i know me and my family have been babying my 8 month old WAY too much. i walk out of the room and she screams like she is hurt...she cries for MAMA all the time. She screams at night when she wakes up, which is almost every 2 hours and we pick her up and do that constantly... she falls asleep with someone holding her... she refuses most of the time to hold her own bottle... what do i need to do in order for her to 1. sleep more at night... 2. stop being so spoiled. (lack of better word). ive tried letting her cry it out when i know nothing is wrong and it never seems to stop... she just goes on and on and its hard living in an apartment when everyone can hear her cry at night, i feel bad when its lik 2am and she screams. any advice at all i will take. she is the first baby, grandbaby, neice..whatever. so everyone is constantly wanting to hold her but when its just me and her at the house i can afford to walk around with her attached to me.

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Lauren - posted on 10/15/2010

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I am not a pro, but I do have two children of my own. What I might try to do for the night time is, instead of picking her up, maybe try just letting her see that you are there and rub her back/tummy depending on the way she is laying, and try that instead of picking her up and letting her fall back asleep in her own bed instead of on you. Hope that works. If not, it's only a faze, she will learn tosleep through the night. When does she take her last nap in the day, from what time til what time? Maybe she's getting too much or not enough sleep shortly before bed. Good luck

Anna - posted on 10/07/2010

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While it doesn't fix the problem, separation anxiety is normal at this age. I agree with Danielle--have you tried wearing her more? She may feel more secure the times you leave her if she's with you more overall.

Tamara - posted on 10/07/2010

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we rent the basement in my inlaws house, so it is horrible here. when he was a newborn, he would be held non stop all weekend, and then on monday it would be non stop crying. i ended up letting him cry it out. he would usually cry for about 25 minutes in the morning, but that was the end of it. it was hard, but its what i had to do so i could get things done. he still cries it out at night, s some advise on that would be nice...

Erin - posted on 10/07/2010

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The best book I ever read was "The no-cry-nap solution". The sleep thing is all about routine (in my experience anyway). The screaming when I leave thing is still a mystery to me. The only thing that has worked for me a bit is to leave different buckets of toys in various places in the house. I carry him to a room and put him in front of the bucket. It generally keeps him occupied for 5 minutes on his own and more if I sit with him. Hope that helps too.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/06/2010

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Well, as for the sleeping more at night - I'm in the same boat. I end up having to nurse her every 2 - 3 hours.
BUT I did find that I can get her to sleep in her crib and it took me about a week, but I would stand there with her (when she was almost asleep I'd put her in her crib) and practically hold her, except she was on the crib mattress. I'd sing to her, I'd get cheek to cheek. I'd leave when she was quiet and sleeping (or just when she was quiet). When she cried I'd come back and do it again - all WITHOUT PICKING HER UP.
The first night it took an hour and a half until she was finally asleep. The second and third it was an hour. After that it got shorter and shorter until she would fall asleep within five minutes of leaving. I didn't let her cry it out, but believe me - there were times I needed a mental break so I'd take a few minutes (or 5 or 6 or 10!) to myself (as far as I could away from the crying without actually leaving). Then I'd go back in and comfort her again... again WITHOUT PICKING HER UP. I also have only tried this with initial bedtime, not in the middle of the night (because my dad is sleeping in the next room and I feel bad letting her cry at all in the middle of the night).
That being said it all went out the window when she started teething and then we went on a trip. It complicated things. Now we are working on it again.
As for the spoiled thing - I don't think she's spoiled. You do realize that you said 'babying my 8 month old' who happens to be a baby, right? There are people who never put their kids down (attachment parenting) and in many cultures something like it is the norm. I think that's a personal preference on your part. At this age most babies have some form of separation anxiety so I wouldn't sweat it for a couple months. Maybe play next to her and make sure she's distracted before you leave the room.
I feel like there was something else I wanted to add, but I guess this is enough for now :)

Danielle - posted on 10/06/2010

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have you tried having her in a baby carrier that is on you, she may just like the closeness it works wonders, i remember when Olivia wouldnt settle a few months back in the middle of summer i put her in the carrier on my front and took her out to look at the trees she finally calmed down and even when i would peg out the washing even tho she was outside with me she would cry so i put her in the carrier and she could see what i was doing and would calm down, it does help but i know what you mean with the crying it out, i've tried it and its really hard at times especially when you are exhausted and want to sleep and the little one wont. hope you manage to find a solution

Ashley - posted on 10/05/2010

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girl im dealing with the same issue however i have my fiance and mother and sister in law in the house and it doesnt get easier with more ppl! i do the cry it out method..it works..just takes a week to actually work..they are smart little boogers they know crying gets mommy's attention! my little man has 4 teeth coming in so add that to the daily norm and wow im exhausted! my son has a jumper which helps occupy him while i work out do dishes and such..turn on nick jr and hes good for about an hour! but i do feel for you!

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