daughter born 9/11/09 forward facing car seat?

Stephanie - posted on 05/22/2010 ( 101 moms have responded )

258

31

6

my daughter wll be 9 months in 20 days!!! how does everyone feel bout forward facing the baby? has anyone done it younger than you should and why? wat age did everyone turn the baby around?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

I am absolutely amazed by some peoples ignorance and lack of intelligence. Usually I'm supportive of other mothers but this post literally makes me mad. How in the WORLD can you put your childs comfort above safety baffels me! Go to youtube and search for rearfacing and you will see stories of babies internally decapitated by putting forward facing after a year so you all putting your babies forward facing before a year is even worse. I feel bad for your children and them not having a parent that cares for their safety over "seeing out the windows" I have a 15 month old son who is 30lbs and 32" long and he fits COMFORTABLY rear facing, and he is active, for whatever reason that makes you turn them around. I don't see how how active they are makes a difference. I pity your ignorance and hope you all don't regret your decisions.

Jessica - posted on 05/22/2010

21

18

3

I personally will not even be turning my September baby until he is much older, probably 3 at the earliest. The law states that they have to stay rear facing until 1 AND 20 pounds, not either/or, and it is 500% safer for them to remain rear facing until 4 years old (which is when they stopped the study, it is probably still safer after that).

If you want more information about why it is safer to keep them rear facing, check out http://www.joelsjourney.org/ , it is the story of an 18 month old boy who broke his neck (not fatally, but still a major injury) in a wreck because he was forward facing, he would have been fine rear facing. Their heads are so much bigger/heavier than their bodies at this age, and their necks are very fragile, a combination that can make whiplash a devastating injury for them.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is actually now recommending keeping your kids rear facing until at least 2, the laws just haven't changed yet to reflect that. Please at the very least follow the laws and keep your baby safely rear facing until at least 1 and 20 lbs!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

101 Comments

View replies by

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

Please don't confuse rudeness for my firm beliefs regarding the safety of a baby. I probably do way more research than is necessary but I think everyone should have all the facts before making a decision, especially one this important. No matter what I say though, Georgeia, you are correct. In the end, to each her own.

Community - posted on 05/25/2010

1,647

2

465

Hello Ladies,

Thank you for contributing to this thread, but we are closing it so that it does not get out of hand. Please remember that Circle of Moms is a safe place where moms feel comfortable sharing personal information about their lives and families. And since you're an important part of our community, we ask that you contribute to this as well. This means refraining from personal attacks--even when provoked and checking your gut before posting to make sure what you're about to share adds real value rather than taking it away.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Circle of Moms Community Management Team

Georgeia - posted on 05/25/2010

24

14

2

First off the police department and fire station have no idea about car seats where I live... They were of no help at all when I had my first daughter 3 1/2 years ago. Clueless!!! That being said, my second daughter just 8 mths is 22lbs and quite tall but is still rear-facing and shall be that way for as long as she fits! Of course we all want our children to be safe, great advice from some of the other mums on here. Not appreciating some of the hostility and anger toward those mums who choose to switch to forward-facing though. After all to each is their own.
Thanks to the mums who posted those videos though!!!

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

There is no evidence to show that a baby's legs being "bunched up" when rear-facing, poses any risk. The risk, and a life threatening one at that, is having a forward-facing baby when they're not ready for it. They are perfectly fine rear-facing like that. Also, policemen and firefighters know how to properly install a car seat. They do not know about all the research and development that goes into creating a car seat's guidelines to keep your child safe. I can also guarentee that your child will have more muscle development at 1 year old to help protect them in a crash than he currently has right now.



Please watch the video posted by Nicole earlier in the converstation. I hope it makes a difference. Regardless, best of luck to you.

Valynn - posted on 05/25/2010

47

26

1

If my son was an "average" size baby then I am sure I would keep him rear facing as well. Good Luck to all the moms out there, I know we all love our children.

Laura - posted on 05/25/2010

91

9

9

I would hate to think that I did a disservice or damage to my child just because it was more convenient for me. There is a reason for these recommendations and even though I am the parent and make the ultimate decision, there are people out there far more well-informed than me to help me make the right choices for my child.
That being said, my daughter will be rear-facing as long as possible.

Ashe - posted on 05/25/2010

10

14

1

I won't until my daughter is at least 1. She's very active, already crawlin since 7 & 3wks. She definantly weighs close if not more than 20lbs. But I agree with waitin til 1 year old. Rather be safe thanks sorry.

Lindsay - posted on 05/25/2010

1

24

0

I have heard that it's when they turn one year old. My son was born 9.7.09 and he is still facing the rear. I would love to turn him though because I have to have the air cond on high just so he can feel it and it freezes me out! But we will be waiting until he's one year and atleast 20 lbs. My mother in law who worked in the OB for 33+ years says normally around one year of age.

Valynn - posted on 05/25/2010

47

26

1

WOW!! I can see how heated you ladies are getting about this conversation. I live in Texas, where the law is rearfacing untill 1year old and at least 22lbs. However my son is almost 9mths and he is 24lbs. Along with being a bigger baby he has a head full of long thick beautiful hair that in this Texas heat makes him sweat and overheat. My husband and I made a thoughtful and educated choice to turn him forward facing. This came becasue his legs were already starting to bunch and bend in the rear facer and in the event of an accident he would surely be in a lot more trouble had we have left him that way. We even took our new carseat to our local firestation to have them properly install it in our car and to make sure all the harnesses were properly done. They also told us that the laws are designed to keep babies safe. However in the event people have larger babies, certian steps must be taken to be sure they are safe as well. He took one look at out baby in his old car seat and told us he is better off facing forward as he is already to all the requirements. Diem is in the 80-90% in growth across the board and in 12mth clothes. He is perfectly healthy and is a very active little boy who is already starting to balance himself to walk. This being said I know I am not the only parent with a bigger baby that has had to do things differently, for the welfare of our children. They are our priority and we would never NEVER do anyting to put them in harms way.

Jessica - posted on 05/25/2010

21

18

3

Every state has a law that you are to use the carseat according to the manufacturer's instructions. Every car seat out there says that you are to only use them rearfacing if your child is under 20 lbs and 1 year old. So those of you saying you couldn't find the laws obviously didn't look very hard.

Natalie - posted on 05/25/2010

10

16

0

I was told by a health nurse as well as a car seat clinic regardless of if your child is over 20lbs or not if he/she is not 1 year old they are to remain rear facing. The dammage that can occur to your child is much less if you wait then if you switch too soon. Before the age of one they may weigh alot but they are much to small to be forward facing. I too put my childs safety above the comfort. Not to mention the fine you may receive for not following the laws!

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

For anyone late to the conversation, please watch the short videos earlier in the postings. Particularly the one by Nicole. They are very helpful and informative.



For those who feel they have to defend their decision to turn their child, previous or current, forward-facing before it was time, don't. We all live and learn everyday. The best thing we can do is to constantly learn the new and best ways to keep our little ones happy, healthy, and safe. If you've recently turned your baby forward-facing before it's time, there's no reason you can't return them to rear-facing. You may feel defensive, which is understandable but, instead, turn that towards your child. DEFEND THEM.

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

Sara, call your local police department or fire station. They know what they're doing. They'll get it in there properly and have it in nice and tight. I did that and they were great.

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

Kelly, were you ever in an accident? If you weren't, of course you can say your son was fine. Anyone's baby would be fine just sitting in a person's lap, not strapped in, and be fine as long as they weren't in an accident. Car seats are for accidents. Accidents can't be predicted and car seats have guidelines that were created to protect your child in case of an accident. If you're not going to use it properly, why use it at all, besides it being a law to have them in one, because it's not to keep your child safe if you're not using it properly.

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2010

3

0

0

i put my child (hes now 20 months) forward facing at 10 months. he was like 21lbs or something. he did fine, and nobody was any the wiser (law enforcement). as long as they are the proper weight i wouldnt worry so much about the age. i understand people say "its the law" and if thats your thing, then cool thats your thing... but from my experience my kid was perfectly fine and nobody said anything. i will do the same with my other son (now 8 months) when he hits 20lbs whether he is 1yr or not.

Adrienne - posted on 05/25/2010

129

20

11

My son will remain rear-facing until he hits the maximum rear-facing weight of his car seat. It's just the smart thing to do. Just do your research.



I'm a God-fearing woman myself but, if you think I won't do everything in my power to keep my son with me for as long as possible instead of going with God, you're out of your mind. I also consider myself a good driver but, if you think I'm going to trust other drivers on the road to think about my son's safety, again, you're crazy! I don't care about convenience, what laws do or don't say, my son being able to look out the windows easier, etc. You're CRAZY if you think I'm going to forward-face my child for ANY of those reasons. Is it really that inconvenient to spend the extra few seconds to strap you child in rear-facing? Can you really not hang a mirror on the seatback or give a toy to entertain your child while rear-facing? Can you really NOT keep your child rear-facing? Can you afford NOT to? I know it may be difficult to find a car seat that will fit in a compact car but they do exist. If you don't have a store conveniently located to test seats before you buy, many websites have hassle-free return policies. Your child is worth it. Seriously.



Think about all the love and care you've poured into that child and then think about how you'd feel if that was taken from you in a split second. I don't want to be mean, rude, or put anyone down so please don't take it that way. I know I will never meet any of you or your children but it would break my heart to know we had this conversation and learn that something terrible happened. If my heart would break, think about what it would do to yours. I would never wish that on anyone.



If you still choose to turn your baby forward-facing, PLEASE atleast wait until the 1 year AND 20 pound requirements have been met.



One last thing, regardless of rear or forward-facing, please make sure that your seat is installed correctly and that your child is properly strapped in. I know it's a bummer to have to read the whole manual but it's worth it. You can also take it to a firestation or police department so they can make sure it's properly installed for peace of mind.

Sara - posted on 05/25/2010

9

6

0

I am so glad that this is being talked about now. I was having some friends from work help me install a 3 in 1 seat in my car this morning. My son was born 9-28 and is 22lbs. One guy was telling me that the car seat should be forward facing because of his weight, and I could of swore all the pamphlets I got at the hospital said 20lbs AND 1 year...so I have been starting to look into to it, and low and behold this post comes up...those videos def have changed my outlook and my child will stay rear facing. Although I still need to go to the local police department and have them make sure it is in there the right way..
I have the LATCH system installed, and a leveler so the seat is adjusted right in the car..it is in there tight, but I am concerned about the back of the seat...it doesnt tighten anywhere...anyone have any suggestions?

[deleted account]

American Pediatrics and safety regulations say rear facing till at least 1 yrs old and over a certain weight limit. I have heard that you actual can get a ticket if pulled over and the child is forward when they are not supposed to be. Good Luck. I had to buy a toddler car seat for my almost 9 month old because of his height but i still have it rear facing.

Catherine - posted on 05/25/2010

10

35

0

I've read it is safe to have them rear facing for as long as possible even after a year old. It's suppose to be safer. I have a car seat that turns forward facing after 35 pounds. Its the Evenflo Symphony 65. I love it.

Helen - posted on 05/25/2010

6

59

0

The rear facing is much much safer so I intend to keep my 8 month old in it until the weight limit...

Tiffany - posted on 05/25/2010

37

56

4

Excellent comment Kisha. I think you hit it right on the money! Good luck parents. Babies don't come with a manual so we do the best we can to educate ourselves when we have questions such as these. I can't speak for everyone, but I too was thinking of turning my son around because it wasn't easy in our truck to have his carseat facing the rear, but when I did the research and talked to friends and our pediatrician and they told me the hundreds of reasons why we should leave them rear facing until they are bigger and older (1 yr AND 20lbs in my state), I decided that we should leave him rear facing. I went out and bought a new carseat to make it more comfortable for him to face rear. He is happy and safe and that is what is most important.

Andrea - posted on 05/25/2010

81

41

1

honestly, i do not have the means to drive two hours one way just to look at a car seat b4 i buy one. i am not too worried about my rear facing car seat when the toen i live in is less the 5 miles long and the fastes speed limit in the entire town is 35mph. the only places i go is to the store (less then a mile from my home) and the post office (even closer) i would walk but it is too cold for my child to be in. We live in Wyoming and it snowed just yesterday morning. Wether or not my child has a foward facing or backward facing its still a pain to get him in and out of my husbands vehicle. he drives a K5 blazer that has a lift. i myself have to jump to get in it, so this was not a decision of convience.
Also as milestones go he has been crawling since he was 6 months and he can walk across the floor when holdin on to things and he is 8 n1/2 months

Twiggy - posted on 05/25/2010

8

11

1

i agree with the rear facing decision and all the saftey issues. however, i dont think you need to be rude to others to make your point. if they're not convinced it's their problem... why all the anger? It'll only make them angry back at you!

Kisha - posted on 05/24/2010

14

8

2

Unfortunately those of us that know that keeping our child rear facing as long as possible (35 pounds on my current convertible car seat) is the best way to protect our children in the car will never be able to change the mind of someone who is so set on going forward facing, especially the ones that think they know better than the AAP or doctors...

But, for those mom's who haven't yet decided and are truly looking for advice and information on the topic, read the instructions for your carseat...check on state laws, research what the AAP says and I guarantee you will find that keeping your child rear-facing is the best and safest option for your child.

If you have car issues go to a store (babies r us is an example) where they will let you try the seats in your car so that you can find one that fits. I know if I was able to fit a car seat in my car that most people should be able to find one.

I also know that everyone says "my baby, my choice" but how would you feel if your mother was still making all of your decisions for you and wasn't as safe as she could have been?
Yes it is your baby, and yes you have to make those decisions because a baby isn't capable, but that means you do what is best for the baby...PERIOD, not what you think is easiest for YOU!! That is part of the responsibility of being a parent, part of the responsibility of being in a position where you make decisions for others.

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

Stephanie - Yes, he is 15 mths and 30 lbs. He's also 32" and he sits rear facing comfortably and will until he reaches 35 lbs (the max on my carseat for rear facing) or two years.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2010

1,499

10

39

Oh this just makes me cringe to think that parents are forward facing their children this soon!! Why?! Why in the WORLD would you EVER take that chance? Who cares if it's not a law in your state! Rear-facing has been proven to be the safest thing for infants and young toddlers!!

You can be the safest driver in the whole world, but what about that idiot that decides to pull out right in front of you? It can happen in an instant!! It happened to me when I was 21 weeks pregnant with my little boy. Someone thought they could beat me across 5 lanes of traffic, and I ran right into them. Good thing I choose to wear my seatbelt everytime I get in the car! It saved me & my unborn son!! Same thing goes with a rear-facing carseat...it can save lives!!

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

I hope that you are just continuing with your being "nice" but deep down really thinking about your child. Look into those eyes and decide if you would regret it. Your child deserves protection.

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

4

16

0

they sell a seat at walmart that is forward or backward facing and it is the 2nd step my daughter is 8 months and she will need one in probably 2 more months.

Noreen - posted on 05/24/2010

914

16

77

Lets just pray that God protects her baby! Because she's willing to take that chance! Have you ever thought that maybe God would teach you a lesson by taking your baby because you were educated on rearfacing and still put your child at risk?!

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

So Nanette, did you also smoke and do drugs while you were pregnant because if God was gonna take your baby he would?

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

Your child, your regrets if a idiot hits you or you have a accident. Because accidents do happen, you aren't exempt from them.

Stephanie - posted on 05/24/2010

258

31

6

i completely see where all of you moms come from and wat you all are saying. i am thinking twice about switching my daughter back to rear facing but i was planning on doing it at 1 anyways. my daughter isnt in the car often either but i do still no that theres a chance especially with the elderly driving.

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

Thank you Noreen! I'm a firm believer in the Lord but him "taking me when he wants" doesn't justify me being stupid. I'm amazed.

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

Wow, LOL. If God wants to take me then he will so I'll smoke cigarettes and drink bleach, if he doesn't take me then he's not ready to. Wow.... wow...

Noreen - posted on 05/24/2010

914

16

77

How old are you Nanette?? That's something my 18yr old brother says because he doesn't want to wear his seatbelt while driving.

Nanette - posted on 05/24/2010

349

21

34

Actually I did do my research before placing her face-forward and once again I found no law! Not that im not trying to be a safe good mother, but let me think of it this way. If God was to take my daughter to heaven with Him, then he is going to take her whether she is rear facing or forward facing. Not that I am not going to be safe, just because I trust God to take care of my baby! Its like this. I am not the most healthiest person in the world. I don't eat organic, but guess what... If I eat organic and God choses to take me home early well then why did I eat organic? yes I can try to be healthy but ultimately its God who takes care of us! I am opting out of this conversation!

Athena - posted on 05/24/2010

11

39

0

Big No no, my son is 8 n 1/2 months, you should definetly keep her rear facing, dont be in a hurry to forward face her carseat, the longer you keep her rear facing the SAFER she will be in the car. I think the youngest i would choose to forward face is 12months.

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

39

21

1

Kudos Kellie! Safety first! Mine will be rearfacing til 2 or when he reaches the weight limit of my car seat. I'd even consider buying a better car seat to keep him rearfacing longer. My 5 year old is still in a 5 point harness (Britax Frontier) and will stay in that for many years. Nothing comes before my childrens safety.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms