Daughter won't fall asleep by herself anymore.

Amanda - posted on 06/10/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My daughter (born 9-2-09) has been wonderful about fall asleep by herself. We would do our routine, put to bed, kiss her, say good-night, and shut the door. We wouldn't hear a peep out of her until she woke up the next morning. This past week and half, every time we tell her its time for she start to look scared and say no. My husband would carry her up the stairs like usually, and once we put her in her bed and start to leave she just cries. We shut the door and she cries. We put a night light in her room, left the door open, but nothing works. The only way she falls asleep is if either my husband and I stay with her until she fall asleep, and that can take up 2 hours. Is anyone else having this problem or there any suggestions to help her fall asleep by herself again?

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Elizabeth - posted on 06/26/2011

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I don't have a September '09 baby but I thought that I might be able to help. When my daughter was that age she did the same thing. It is a developmental stage. It's a combination of a child being scared because of their new independence, not wanting the day to end, and more vivid dreams.

I added a little more time to the bedtime routine. After books, lights would go out and I would talk about the fun things that happened during the day for her and allowing her to add if she could. I would mention that tomorrow she can have a whole new day to play but she needs her sleep right now. Plus now she gets to dream and I would give her ideas of pleasant things that she could dream about. Teddy bears dancing, swimming in the clouds, playing in the snow, etc. Just a couple every night. After a while, she started coming up with things on her own. Lastly, I gave her love to last all through the night. I would give her a hug and kiss, then give her Puffy (teddy bear) a hug to hold onto in case she needed it and I would give her a kiss on her palm and close her hand up over the kiss so she would have an extra kiss with her. After we had been doing that for a while, she decided mommy needed an extra kiss and she would do the same to my hand:)

I hope this will help someone.

Aimee - posted on 06/16/2011

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Its the same with my daughter (born 09/09/09). I had just figured that she is now at an age where she is 'testing' me to see how I will react. I stay with her until she falls asleep, luckily its only about half an hour not the 2 hours you have to wait! But she won't let her dad put her down anymore - only me. Hoping this does not last as I am pregnant with number 2 and really want it sorted before he is born!

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Brittany - posted on 07/15/2012

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my baby does the same thing but she is 19 months old born 10/7/10 she acts like she is terrified to go to her bed. he starts screaming grabs on to my neck like the boogie man is gonna get her i feel bad but i cant figure it out. im gonna be starting school soon i really hope she stops or i can figure it out somehow

Rebecca - posted on 06/26/2011

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Im having the same problem, only she also wakes in the middle of the night now and cries when im not in the room, then once again i have to stay with her until she is asleep. Im exhausted and i have 5 more children. The youngest being 6 months. I hope this ends soon as i can't carry on like this.

Becka - posted on 06/23/2011

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My daughter (9-29-09) just started doing this. This past week has been crazy, she will scream if we leave her in her room, and she has been able to get out of her crib for a while, so she is in a toddler bed. So even though we leave her in her bed, she always gets out and plays with her toys or books. Before she would get out and sometimes fall asleep by the door, but since she has been fighting night time so much, she will stay awake long past her bed time..

Jessica - posted on 06/22/2011

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both my kids do the same things i dont know what to do either the dr gave my kids calming releif med that helps them a little but still have to hold them til they fall a sleep or lay with them... my daughter 10/5/08 and my son 9/8/09

Lyndsay - posted on 06/22/2011

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My daughter (9/15/09) has started the same thing. I think it's partially due to the hot weather we've been having, she's just uncomfortable. It's also coincided with a sudden hatred of the bath, so I'm thinking she's working something out developmentally. We've been sitting with her for a few minutes and letting her know that we're going to leave in X minutes (or after X stories). She will cry for under a minute after, but so far she's stayed in bed and fallen asleep pretty quickly after that.

Jayla - posted on 06/20/2011

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I let my daughter 9/27 cry she only does it for about 3-5 minutes then settles down and goes to sleep. Good luck!

Laura - posted on 06/19/2011

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It mush be a developemental stage because my daughter (born 9-9-09) has been having a harder time going to sleep in the last few weeks as well. Before we would ask her if she was ready to go "night night" and she would literally run to her room and climb into the glider where I would read her a bed time story. She started to yell "no" when we told her it was time for bed, she would sit through her book fine, but then start to cry once we put her down. We would take turns going in there to soother her, but then she would start crying again once we left. This would continue for an hour or two sometimes. We decided to change things up a bit and extend her night time routine so let her get a little more mentally prepared for going to sleep. After she gets changed into her PJs, we go into the bathroom to brush her teeth, then we read 2-3 books (instead of just one), then I turn out the light, lay her in her bed and sing her a song while I scratch her back. After the song is over (she is still awake), I tell her "night night" and quietly leave the room. So far, so good. The past few nights have been so much better. I don't know that the same routine would work for everyone, but I think what helped was just making her regular routine a little longer and having more quite down time before putting her to bed. Even though she still doesn't want to go to bed at first, she is much more calm and relaxed, by the time I actually put her in there and it seems like she has more time this way to prepare for it herself. Just a thought, it worked for us, so maybe something like that could work for you. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2011

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I will just let my daughter cry, it will only last for 2-5 minutes at the most!

Amber - posted on 06/16/2011

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my daughter(born9-9-09) is doing the same thing she can now get out of her crib and she does not stay in there for anything now..since she was born we put her in there and shed go to sleep no problems but now i stay in there for up to 2 hrs or if i leave she gets out for the next 2 hrs till i give in a stay in there..not sure what to do either???

Bridget - posted on 06/13/2011

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My daughter was doing this and it ended up being some really odd things she was "scared" of. She doesnt like vacuums- she calls them scaries. One was in her room and she was freaking out. We took it out and it solved the problem, temporarily. Next it was a light she decided she didnt like. We left the light in, but showed her it was just a light and it was nothing to be afraid of. The next thing I understood, there was a small clump of fur from a stuffed animal stuck to her sheet and when the wind blew it looked like a bug. She was screaming about "bees" and she showed me the problem and I could see exactly what she was afraid of! Now on some nights she just refuses to go to sleep for a long time and Ive found that if I sit with her when she is having issues and tell her that she needs to get good sleep so that we can have fun the next day (I usually name an activity, go to the slide, the zoo, play with family etc) and she normally understands and goes to sleep quietly. I wonder if she feels abandoned and like she is missing out on all of the fun and explaining to her that she needs sleep so she can have fun calms down those worries. I may be wrong, but these things have worked for me! Good luck!

Noreen - posted on 06/10/2011

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My daughter (9/23) has always been put to sleep by nursing her to sleep. It usually takes up to 30 minutes to do this. Well lately, she has been fighting sleep SO FREAKING bad that it can take up to 2hrs to get her to nod off too. So you are not alone! I think it might be a developmental stage thing that they are going through. Just stay consistant and makes sure to give extra loves and it will get better. Abby is my 3rd and I vaguely remember my boys doing this.

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