For those who grew up/are growing up with out a father...

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I posted this on another site I'm on but I really want to hear from more people.

Why wasn't your father their or why isn't thier father there? What were some of the struggles? What seems to make it easier?



I always wanted my kids to have everything I had growing up with the family. Mom dad in the same home and all. Well I realized that wasn't going to happen but I was hoping my girls dad and I could work something out and get along for our daughters sake. We long story short we recentley got into it. BIG TIME. Him and I, His mom and I. Basically his family agaist me. If I'm not doing something for him he doesn't want anything to do with his kids. Sometimes I feel like I was just forcing him to be a part of his daughters life anyways; that he never really wanted to be in their life. I mean he is 37 years old doesn't have a car, lives with his mom, works at a restraunt and has 5 kids he doesn't take care of. So I would do things for him in hopes he would build a relationship with his daughters and want to be part of their life. That worked while I was doing stuff but when I stopped it got bad. Anyways...that's a LONG story. When we got into it him and his mom have decided that me and my children are not welcome in their life anymore. They asked that I write them off that was his moms words. His words were "go on about your life and forget that I was ever even their dad." It hurts b/c I feel like the issues we have shouldn't have anything to do with our children but they obviously do. Anyways this isn't the first time this happened but this is the last time. When this happened I said some things I shouldn't have said and words were exchanged all around. But when he needs something again he will attempt to come back around and I'm done. I will not let him back in their life again. It's not fair to them for him to be in and out and they love him to pieces but he would probably be gone 6 months or more and then want to be around again. It's not fair to them and the disrespect that I got from him and his mom was enough to end it forever. My kids don't need to see someone treating me like that. AHHH It's a mess anyways...If you were in somewhat of a similur situation how did you deal with and stick to keeping them out of your life? How did you cope with your children not having dad? What are some struggles? How did you overcome them? I'm having a really hard time with all of this. I would do anything for him to be in their life but I shouldn't have to do anything and I finally realize this. But unless I'm doing something he isn't in their life.

Also, I would love to hear from someone whose father wasn't in their life because your mom kept him from coming around because she felt that was best. Or from someone who kept the father out because you felt it was best. Are you kids mad at you for it? or Are you mad at your mom for it?

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