All Communities > September 2009 Munchkins > I don't want to turn into my dad!

I don't want to turn into my dad!

Amber - posted on 07/22/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Me and my partner tort our baby that no means don't touch. But the last few weeks he has completely ignored us, I have spent the last 5 months fighting to keep him away from anything that would hurt him and then I turned my back for 2 seconds and he touched my hair straighteners when they were on.
Now whenever he goes for anything he shouldn't touch I say no calmly twice and after that I lose it and I can't help but shout I no i shouldn't but he knows what no means, why has he started defying me?
I don't want to scare him like my dad always scared me as a child but I don't know what to do to stop myself losing my temper so quickly.
Please help

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Jodie - posted on 07/24/2010

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My 10 month old , could care less if I said no till im blue in the face. I use the distract or redirect route. So when he decides he wants to pull the dvd player off the tv stand. I pick him up and put him next to his toys. He has realized I do this every time seems now he tries to make a getaway !

Jessica - posted on 07/24/2010

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I know how you feel....I came from a home with alot of screaming and sometimes even spankings and I swore to myself that I will not let the past repeat itself. I do not want a household led by fear.
What you have to realize is that at this age a babies curiosity is so strong that even when you say no they cant help themselves. The way I deal with this is that I removed anything dangerous from our living room (my sons main play room) this way I dont have to follow him around all day saying no every time he touches something.
When we are somewhere that has dangerous items that he is about to touch I get eye level with him and say No, danger!!! and then pick him up and give him a toy or something that will keep his attention.

We all lose our tempers sometimes even if we dont mean to!! Just do the best you can. Also some books that may be helpful are Dr. Sears Disipline Book and The Successful Child

Good Luck!!

Amber - posted on 07/22/2010

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lol typical isn't it, we only carry them for 9 months or 9 and a half in my case and give birth to them but yeah don't bother listening us :)

Meghan - posted on 07/22/2010

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oh of course he listen's to everyone but you! It does get easier...I think. We just gotta hang in there :)

Amber - posted on 07/22/2010

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That's true he probably does want attention because when we say no around my mother in laws he does as he is told :S
Never mind thank you for your advice

Meghan - posted on 07/22/2010

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First take a DEEP BREATH!! It is annoying! But you just have to remember that your boy is not "defying you" he is just learning! He is learning what he can and can't do, he is learning what things feel like, what things are, how to push mom's buttons...and not to stress you out more-It gets WAY worse lol!
I don't have any real advise on not losing your temper except maybe when you feel yourself losing it, put him in a safe place and you go have a time out. Then come back and explain again what he was doing, and how it made you feel...then hugs and kisses. Or if time permits, you stop what you are doing, pick him up and go play with him. It redirects both of you and I find J really acts up when he wants attention.

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