Multiple doctor visits normal?

Samantha - posted on 12/14/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Anyone else's sept 09 baby in the dr office often? My little girl goes to daycare and has had several ear infections, runny nose, coughs, and fevers. My family and friends say children get sick a lot. Me and her father are not together anymore for over a year and since she's with me most of the time, he's blaming me for her getting sick so often. It to the point he called DSS on me for taking her to the dr so much. And now he's seeking sole custody in court. I already feel helpless when she gets sick and this is making me feel even worse. She has to be in daycare bc Im the only one who works to take care of her. He is willfully unemployed and lives an hr and a half away so he can't drive that long way everyday to babysit. Also, Is it child abuse to put her in daycare when she keeps getting sick? I need advice!

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Kathy - posted on 12/31/2011

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My daughter got sick everytime we turned around when she was in daycare, we moved, had to give up the pets for the house we're in, and I'm not working so no more daycare, and she's rarely sick in comparison. It could be that she's just catching things from other kids at daycare. If he is unemployed and your working I can't see him getting sole custody, and no I don't think thats abuse, thats you trying to provide for your little princess!!

Bridget - posted on 12/18/2011

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My kids are home with me and dont get sick nearly as often as kids in daycare, but they get sick plenty. Currently they both have colds from being around family who is sick. That is par for the course with kids, especially those in daycare. Its certainly NOT child abuse- in fact its the opposite. You are working to provide for them, and putting them in a safe environment where they are well cared for.
No judge, anywhere, would rule that an unemployed father would be granted sole custody over a working mother who is involved with her kids daily. Unless there are other circumstances that are harmful to the kids.
I agree with Nico, file against him in court. It isnt fun, but its necessary. Your kids deserve the best, and your ex needs to step up and pay half of their expenses.
good luck!

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Kathy - posted on 12/31/2011

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And I personally would file a complaint against that judge, No way should they be giving a custody to an unemployed father with a history of any kind of abuse... Good luck Samantha!! I hope you get things fixed fast!

Samantha - posted on 12/30/2011

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thanks for the comments. DSS is the Dept of Social Services btw. they are involved in cases of foster care and child abuse. I have since countered with asking for sole custody. my ex used to be a cop for the county he lives and got fired for beating an inmate on camera and now facing a yr in prison. the judge knew about this as well as the domestic abuse and still switched primary custody from me to him. he was over $900 behind in child support at the time so the judge is taking what I would owe in child support out of his outstanding balance. I never heard of such things. that judge used to be a cop and I believe he was bias in this case. we were ordered to hire a guardian ad litem and after speaking with her i feel she's on my side bc she even said that shouldn't have happened. I'm confident after the GAL gives her report, I can file with the courts to switch it back ASAP. I will keep y'all updated :)

Nico - posted on 12/14/2011

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I'm a stay at home mother & my 2 children still get sick often. When they were in daycare it was MUCH worse. But they pick up germs at the library, playground, farmers market, & everywhere in between! I don't know what DSS is but it sounds ridiculous to even investigate something so silly & you should probably just tell them so. It's obvious he's seeking sole custody to get child support! Not because he cares about the child. IF he cared he'd get a job. I can't imagine why a judge would change custody arrangements to favor the non-working parent. I know you're tired & I can only imagine how exhausted you must be as a single mom working & setting a good example for your child but pray for strength. Then give him a taste of his own doing & file for monthly court ordered child support along with sole custody. The judge CAN order him to get a job & pay it although it won't be very much initially. I mean does "daddy" even know what shoe size the baby wears? How many diapers the baby goes through a day? How would he know from there if you even were a bad mom? When he gets a job refile to give him half the daycare bill, half the school clothes receipts, & half the school registration fees etc. He is locked into half until that sweet child graduates college! It wasn't fun but my friends sister had to go through all that so I know it can be done. Now it's allot calmer , the child is preteen, & "daddy" gets some visitation. It can be done & it does get better. Have faith, pray, & try to get some rest!

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