what is the best way to decipline your child?

Crystal - posted on 01/20/2011

I personally think that slapping your child when they are naughty at this age just teaches them to slap. I don't think they understand consequence yet. I think consistency and patience is the key. I always tell my daughter no. Then I say it more sternly.. if she is not listening I tell her taht she is not listening to mummy and either remove her from the object or situation or if she is kicking or pressing buttons that she shouldn't be I hold her hands down adn tell her that she is asking mummy to hold her. I have some info from teh Save our Sleep website that I can email..

Meghan - posted on 01/17/2011

kids eventually don't need a high chair...I used a high chair after he was in a booster but wasn't quite old enough to understand time out (in which case I just stopped using them all together. If he isn't understanding the point it's not really fair)

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2011

but doesn't putting him in his high chair as punishment eventually make them view eating in the high chair as being a punishment?

Stacy - posted on 01/17/2011

Thank you. It is in fact sad, isn't it? It absolutely disgusts me that adults are suggesting such ridiculous behavior! Shame on all of you! "no baby don't hit me, and because you hit me I'm going to set a fantastic example by hitting you to teach you its wrong!" doesn't that statement sound ridiculous?

Jess - posted on 01/17/2011

I want to second everything that Stacy said ! It makes me really sad to see such horrible things being suggested in this community. Our children are innocent little babies, when you get physical with your children your showing a lack of maturity, respect and self control. Retaliating to a 1 year olds behaviour is just unacceptable.

Stacy - posted on 01/16/2011

I think its ridiculous to smack, tap, hit, spank or flick your child. If you made a mistake would it be acceptable for another adult to do any of the aforementioned to you? Of course not, it would known as battering or abusing, so with rspect to the little helpless people in our lives, shouldn't we see it the same for them? They're learning right from wrong. You're teaching them that if someone screws up in their life, they should hit them....and flicking them? Wtf is that? These are small human beings! A mini version of you and your partner! My daughter does all the same things, she's almost 16 months too.... She takes her tantrums, slaps me in the face, intentionally scratches or pinches me and whining is her middle name! Patience certainly is the virtue... If you don't have the patience to teach your baby, don't have children! 30 years ago id get my ass kicked if I did any of these things to my parents...i was such a strong willed child that my parents had me tested for..mental illness. I skipped through teenage years with handprint bruises but my parents had their battle wounds from me too. All their hitting taught me was to be angry! I would get more pissed when I was hit...ill never do this to my kids!

Meghan - posted on 01/15/2011

Also want to give a MOD warning
While I can respect that different things work for different people, please keep in mind that any kind of physical punishment toward a child under two, is illegal in many countries.

Jeanine - posted on 01/15/2011

From experience I don't think you should send your child to his bed or bedroom for a time out, that makes them not want to be in there room because they associate it with a bad thing, my niece did that and her son always hated going to bed in his room and is still like that at 4. I put my son in the corner and every time he turns around I tell him that now he has to stay there longer. It seems to work most of the time. Just my opinion.

Meghan - posted on 01/15/2011

First of all, smacking/tapping/popping/spanking doesn't teach a child anything besides fear and that when he/she does something wrong she is going to get hit. Kids learn best from natural consequences and consistency. There is no situation in adult life where it is legal or conducive to hit another person, so I don't understand why people think it is acceptable to use it as a "training tool" for babies who don't know any better. It is a severe misuse of power. A 15 month old doesn't know how they are supposed to behave. It is our job as parents to guide them and set an example.
Felicia, you son is at a vital stage in his development.... think about everything that he is learning. My advise is to be empathetic. Realize that he gets frustrated, realize the he is trying to figure out where he fits in and what is/isn't acceptable behavior. YES, he is going to test you, but I assure you it isn't to piss you off or annoy you. Be firm and set out reasonable expectations (age appropriate.) Allow him to have a tantrum (as long as he is safe). Just ignore it. Always make sure to acknowledge feelings and praise GOOD behavior...offer emotion words and express your feelings calmly to him. Changes will not happen over nite, but I promise you that it does get easier.

Kristen - posted on 01/15/2011

Me too my son laughs at me every time I yell at him or if I use a firm voice. and he is now biting me and pinching and I feel like we have tried every option we could and nothing helps.

Chloe - posted on 01/14/2011

hi my somns 16 months in a couple of wks and they way we let him know if his done something bad is by giving him 3 warnings not to do it again and if he still carrys on i put him in his room on the floor and his not aloud to come out for a min and half if he comes out i put him back and the timing starts all over again and when hes told he can come out i get him to give me a cuddle and i tell him why i put him there in the first place again then we go and play this method does work as he pushes it to 2 warnings then does as his told

Christina - posted on 01/12/2011

i am having the same problem..and wen i do put him in his crib he screams bloody murder...its ridiculous....its so much stress...but all i can do is smile...

Jasmyn - posted on 01/12/2011

I highly suggest reading the book The Science of Parenting. It has great info on what kids can and can't understand at this age. It also suggests not putting kids for 'time-outs' in their bedrooms, as this is a place where they should feel safe and comforted.

It's an interesting/helpful read.

Lydia - posted on 01/11/2011

I do feel all our children are different and what may work for one parent may not work for another. My son is also 15 months old and has began to misbehave at times. The tapping on the hand doesn't always work for him, either. Now, I give him 2 warnings then time out. We have a certain corner he has to sit in (not facing it) but to sit there for 30 seconds to 1 minute (10 more seconds-if he keeps getting up). I say you are in "time out" and that he has to sit there till I tell him to get up. But we don't talk to him or pay attention to him while he is in the corner. He does good with it now and it works for us. I learned this from the show "Nanny 911". I believe at this age, they understand and it is better to teach them young before it gets out of control. Good luck to you.

Sherry - posted on 01/11/2011

Disciplining your child, like many things, is a personal matter. You know your child better than anybody, so experiement and see what works for your child. Every child is different and the same forms of discipline aren't going to work for every child.

Abbey - posted on 01/10/2011

i dont agree with slapping at 16 months my son is smart and knows right from wrong but slapping i would never hurt him i move him away this works generally. as then if he starts slapping people wat do u do then u cant tell them of because your doing it then they wont understand why u can do it and they cant at 16 months old. just keep moving him away maybe his being naughty because his bored at had this problem with my son and got told its because his smart.

Jennifer Ann Saunders - posted on 01/10/2011

After reading a few discipline books, we started to use a distraction, and it works great. We never raise our voices and stay calm and talk to him like he's an adult. We tell him no and use words like hot or yucky instead of No whenever we can.

Try finding somewhere else for timeout. You want him to associate crib and sleep and not crib and punishment.

Check out the wide variety of books on Amazon. They are just testing their limits.

Cristina - posted on 01/10/2011

I have started to smack just under his diaper when he odes something really uncalled for. He seems to listen better now.

Rebekah - posted on 01/09/2011

Sounds like you aren't slapping the hand hard enough. :( My daughter did that a few times and I realized that was why. I now smack her on the thigh and she cries and usually doesn't do it again. She is a very good little girl because of it! :) And she knows her mommy loves her

Cristina - posted on 01/08/2011

With my son he KNOWS he is doing something wrong. He laughs and runs away when he is caught. I will smack his hand for a first time, second time in time out in the corner where I sit with him for about 2 minutes. If he continues I put him in the crib for a few minutes until he calms down. Even at this age they are smart enough to realize right and wrong. When he throws a tantrum he gets put in the crib. He has learned to not throw as many tantrums because we will leave where we are and go to the car or home.

Kate - posted on 01/07/2011

Ras is a monster he does things he knowns is naughty coz if he sees us coming will quickly stop and run away. if hes doing something naughty or touching something he shouldnt i tell him no and try to distract him with something. if that doesnt work and he does it again he gets told no and a flick on the hand if he continues, he is told no again and put in his cot for 2minutes. that generally works. once his time is up i bring him out and show him what it was he was touching, if he goes to get it again, he is told no again and one last flick but generally he doesnt want to go near it.
each to their own opinion on how to discapline a child no one can tell u ur way is wrong just because they disagree

Christine - posted on 01/06/2011

You don't want to turn his bed or highchair into a spot when he's naughty. I also have a 15 almost 16 month old who has tons of words....I have tried tapping her hand, ignoring her tantrums and time out. Time outs seem to work, I do it for one minute by putting her on the couch or a chair (if she gets up I just put her back)...I have had to resort to this because she is strong willed and knows what she is doing when she hits, pinches, and bites! She understands otherwise I would not use this tactic. The only other tool at my disposal is distraction I let her throw a fit for a while and then distract her....but she doesn't forget what she was up to and heads back instantly.

Tara - posted on 01/06/2011

my son is 15 months old and is testing the limits too. I let him know that when he wines he needs to be calm and say please when he wants something. If he decides throw a tantrum I tell him he is fine and walk away and let he work it out. It usually only takes a few seconds and he is just fine. Then we move on and play. When he hits I say now and take his had and brush it gently on what he was sitting and say "gentle" to let him know that being gentle is ok but hitting is not. Basically. Have patients and show him the good ways to deal with things, how else is he going to learn?

Ashley - posted on 01/06/2011

Distraction works best for us. But in those moments where my (already) very stubborn little one pushes the limit, she gets a one minute time out. we call it a cool off and EVERYONE takes it. she sits in her bumbo chair, we walk away. in the few instances that this didnt work, ignoring hte fit worked. and we always debrief the incident, on her level. i also try to reflect the feeling she is trying to convey, because she has so few words. you are mad that you cant have a snack. (she would eat all day if i let her). We have incidents less than once a week, but she is def learning to test limits. good luck!

Jessi - posted on 01/04/2011

DISTRACTION. Move them away from what they shouldn't be doing and take their attention elsewhere. I find nothing else works yet. But my hubby can do his firm voice and it usually makes the kids listen or cry or both. He uses it rarely so they know he means business when he uses it. Me on the other hand use my mean voice (not really that mean) too often and they are both immune.

Trese - posted on 01/04/2011

Almost every single one has been because he hasn't gotten his way. They only last a few seconds now, but with him, I've found that getting down on the floor and having a tantrum next to him will generally get him to stop, sit up and laugh, forgetting all about me telling him no. LOL! Most of the time he'll get in the floor, cry for a second, then jump up and find something else that he knows he's allowed to play with. Good luck!

Trese - posted on 01/04/2011

I most certainly do NOT think that punishing your child AT THIS AGE is okay. Your child is trying to communicate...maybe not the way that you would prefer. You need to teach him/her the way that they need to communicate with you. It takes a lot of patience and time, but it will work. If it takes over 20 times for them to learn to like a new food, it probably takes more instances to learn from their tantrum.

Hope - posted on 01/04/2011

my son does the same thing with the hand slapping. Maybe try putting him in his high chair that way he can't move around and can see you go on with your day for about a minute in a half. Try it and let me know how that works.