Self soothing, help!

Venessa - posted on 03/02/2011

My daughter is going to be 8 mnths in a few days and what i can tell you is to be patient . Mia my daughter was the same and I also breastfeed. She is building trust with you guys to make sure you always there .The thing you must do is to always put her back in her cot so that she can learn that it is her bed, but make sure you wake up quick to show her you are there to pick her up. It is difficult but it get better. I gave up doing that with my first child and he ended up sleeping with \us until he was 5.When our daughter came I decide to not give up and endured the hourly wake ups for a whole month with lots of crying on my part the hourly wake ups is now every 2 hrs but I feel better.she now no that i'll pick her up feed her and then I put her back.She also still wake up even though she on solids

Anna - posted on 03/02/2011

Julie you make some great points about society really pushing kids to be independent at such a young age. We don't co-sleep anymore because my husband is quite a heavy sleeper. My daughter slept with me until she was 8m cuz hubby was deployed. It was amazing. Now she won't sleep with me and I wish she would. My son is in his crib now because i'm worried my husband will roll on him but he was in our room in a bassinet for as long as he fit. My biggest problem with the whole crying it out thing is the emotional aspect of it. I know physically my son is fine, but what is he going through emotionally? I worry that he's thinking i've left him or feeling abandoned. I know I wouldn't want to be crying in the middle of the night and ignored. Like I said in my post, i'd rather be tired and up every few hours than let him go through that. I'm not trying to attack anyones personal choices and I don't like the lack of sleep as much as the next person, but its important to do whats right for your child and you.

Joanna - posted on 03/02/2011

Not sure if you've heard of the 'baby whisperer' books, but she's got some good ideas on how to help babies fall asleep on their own.

Julie - posted on 03/02/2011

Just a question here- are you opposed to co-sleeping? Is there a reason you want her to be on her own at ths stage in her life? Sorry but I am a firm opponent to 'crying it out' and view it as tantamount to child neglect. Infants do need food and clean diapers. However- they also need love, comfort, security. In many many many societies throughout the world infants are not forced to sleep alone in an isolated environment on their back and devoid of all normal comforts (not a big on-the-back, no blankets, alone in a crib fan here). Would you be able to sleep like that? Sorry imho you might want to consider researching co-sleeping. You would all sleep better and it really does nurture an amazing bond that lasts far past infancy.

Tenille - posted on 03/02/2011

we have been at it for a couple of weeks now and she is doing really well with it. I have had to figure out that sometimes she is not ready for bed yet, so if I try to put her down before she is then it is all tears. But she is now sleeping in her own room, and only wakes up once a night for a diaper change and to eat, my daughters really small so I am okay with this, then goes right back to sleep. Which is amazing. Last night it was from 11pm to 6am, awesome!!!!

Marsha - posted on 03/01/2011

I give my daughter a soother and a small white bunny, I wrap her in a blanket with her arms out so she can hold her bunny and she always falls right to sleep... only problem is she needs her soother back in if she wakes during the night which can get frustrating until she can find it herself n put it back in... letting her cry it out may work n it may not we tried for a day n I couldnt take it anymore so i shoved the soother in n she went right to sleep.. its all about trial and error

Tenille - posted on 02/19/2011

I tried the Cry it out method today, and would go in and pat her after a little bit. It took 18 min today. I hope less tomorrow. But I think I will start her in her crib tomorrow also, so that I don't have to move backwards. Mind you this will be a big change from co sleeping and her bassinet in our room, but im thinking its time,.Nap in there too.

Kristin - posted on 02/19/2011

when we started to sleep train, my son wasn't happy about it al all lol.
when he woke up at night i would pick him up. then i stoppedd. i would just sing and pat his belly. then i went to just patting his belly to reassure him everything is ok then went away. he would scream more, but i wouldn't go back in for another ten minutes. then i'd do it again.
eventually he stopped crying and went back to sleep the first time i would go pat his belly.
my suggestion is to stop the night feedings. make sure she is full when she goes down to sleep. and not to pick her up when she cries at night. just reassure her she is fine and leave it at that

Nikki - posted on 02/19/2011

we just started the whole self-soothing thing. My daughter has always slept really well(hasn't woken up to eat in the middle of the night since she was 2 months). We needed to get her to start self-soothing because she wakes up numerous time at night just because she lost her pacifier, so we want her to be able to get herself back to sleep. We just do the nighttime ritual(bath, lotion, feeding, books, etc). Then we put her down in her crib and let her cry for a bit. Right now, we only let her go about 5 minutes and if she's still crying, I give her a pacifier. We are slowly extending the time we let her cry. It's sooooo hard to listen to her cry, but she is slowly getting the hang of it. Sometimes we can lay her down and she just lays there quietly and falls asleep. I do the same thing for her naps too, but we usually let her cry a little longer at night. I never let it get to the point of screaming...just the fussing kind of cry. Our daughter also eats more than enough during the day, so we know she doesn't need to eat at night. It might be hard, but I would try to stay away from bringing her in bed or the couch with you to sleep because that's what she will expect. She needs to learn that her place to sleep is in her crib. Good luck. it's a hard thing, but hopefully worth it.

Karen - posted on 02/19/2011

Well, my first question would be what are you doing during the day for her naps? Is she able to be laid down and go to sleep/stay asleep by herself? I've found it is much easier to work on self-soothing during the daytime hours rather than at night. I feed my babies right after their nap rather than right before, one reason being that I don't want them to have to nurse to go to sleep. That may be one thing you want to try just to see if it doesn't eliminate one aspect of her going to sleep. When it is nap time you could lay her down (drowsy but not fully asleep) and see what happens; give her little belly a pat, say "night night!" and leave the room. If she fusses wait a minute (literally), pick her up, burp, pat her belly and repeat. Wait two minutes. Repeat.

At night it's tough because is she waking because she is really hungry or out of habit? If she is in your bed I would guess she is waking up more than if she wasn't in bed with you (not the case for all babies but it sure was for mine!). Maybe putting her back in her crib would eliminate the night feedings.

I hope this helps a bit.