Traumatized! My baby fell....

Brittany - posted on 01/09/2011 ( 31 moms have responded )

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Last Thursday night I spent in the E.R.I was getting my daughters bath ready so I got her ready and moved her to the top inside corner of my bed thinking I was gonna be back in a second. I even ran into the bathroom and turned the water on and I just got up to go get her when I heard a bang, and then she started to cry. and it literally happened that quick I wasnt even gone a minute and she rolled that fast and I have a queen bed I have never felt so awful and guilty, I immediately started to cry and panic, luckily she was alert crying and didnt seem to be seriously hurt. I feel like such a scumbag, my boyfriend was downstairs and the whole night just made me feel so much worse about the situation. THANK GOD, she was as healthy as ever. not even a bruise....as I said THANK GOD....I just still haven't been able to move on from it. I have been overwhelmed. I am a stay at home Mom, and I always ALWAYS am on everyone surrounding my daughter about the safest things for her and what I want for her. So how is it that she gets hurt in MY care. I am constantly begging for him to help and support. But he feels since he works, he's not obligated. It's just been so hard, and since that happened I just realized had I been thinking more clearly I wouls have put her in her crib before walking away., but doing EVERYTHING, I just didnt think it would have led to that! I am traumatized. I just dont know how to get over something like this...what if she had gotten really hurt.

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oh no no...do NOT get crazy with the "what ifs"....Babies fall. In fact, my little one just fell of the be too last month! She was in my husbands care, but when he "thought" she was asleep he laid her in the car seat on top of the bed, but failed to strap her in. The moment he walked out...she had pulled herself out of the seat and rolled off the bed! :( He felt awful. I told him that it was bound to happen. Babies are a lot stronger than you think....if the baby wasn't crying, then you should be worried...but the fact that your little one has the strength to roll and be mobile? - that means they are stronger than you think. Falling from the bed can scare them and possibly bump the head or something, but usually those cases are very rare, and the baby is just fine. You are doing great!!! The fact that you feel bad, shows that you have a heart. Be easy on yourself. Other things are going to happen and as mothers, we have to console and kiss the "boo boos" away....but understand, you cannot protect them from everything...you can learn to be a bit more cautious and aware of the accident prone scenarios, but no worries...the important thing is the little one is just fine and you are too! :)

Piper - posted on 08/21/2012

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Don't feel bad, my mother dislocated my sister's arm when she was a baby (by accident, of course). I accidentally ran my son's fingers over in a sliding glass door and accidentally slammed 4 of my youngest son's fingers in a car door (it even latched! - fortunately no broken bones). Accidents happen, even to the most careful of us. You're fine. You're still a good mom!

On another note, if your boyfriend is chastising you and never helping out, maybe it's time to re-think the relationship.

Julie - posted on 08/23/2012

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what if what if what if....you cannot beat yourself up about what might have been....give thanks to God and give Him your pain and sorrow and guilt also...He will take it...then do not look back...it does no good...be more careful in the future and let go of the past!!!

Doreen - posted on 08/18/2012

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Sometimes when they are growing and learning new tricks we underestimate how far the child has come. I am glad your child wasn't hurt and you learned to be more careful of the situation. Beating yourself up is only going to stress you out, and you have enough to deal with without that.

I would encourage your boyfriend to be more involved, especially with spending time with the child. Babies do best with input from both parents, and it is difficult as a parent to be "on" 24-7. Even your boyfriend doesn't work 24-7. I know I am a better parent when my husband helps with the children so my mind can rest from them as needed.

Ashley - posted on 12/09/2013

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I feel your pain. My baby did a back flip today off the bed and hit something. Who knows. And it also seems the more i try to protect her the worse it is. Put your faith in the lord and he will make us stronger. I try to keep her extra safe being my miracle baby but fhe thing i learned is keepp a close watch but let them do their thing

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Carolyn - posted on 08/21/2012

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The guilt will fade over time, but it will keep her safer for you remembering it!.....when my youngest son was three days old i was so sleep deprived that i put him in the bouncy seat in the middle of the night (which was on the floor, thank god) after nursing him and i woke up in the morning with him laying on the floor. Seven years later and I still feel guilty that I was so out of it from taking care of two kids and a newborn that i let him roll onto the floor. My guy was the same way as yours, and i gave him an ultimatum....spend time with your children when you get home from working all day, cause guess what, i've been working all day too.... or have them every other weekend and wednesday nights and figure out how to deal with them on your own! We are all human and we all make mistakes....if people were honest they would admit that more things like this really do happen.....just like my youngest slipped in the shower when he was three and got six stitches above his eye AND i was washing him with a washcloth when he fell, he tried to lift both feet off the floor at the same time....and he was running in the house one night with an arm full of blankets and ran into a table, 12 stitches in his face below his lip where his teeth came through....ACCIDENTS HAPPEN....I never put him in the seat without buckling him again....he's never fallen in the shower again.....and he hasn't run in the house since then.....but he has fallen off his bike and ripped a chunk of skin off, off a boulder in our front yard and got a concussion and severe road rash across his face, and fallen off the top bunk and bruised his shoulder since then!!!!

Sian - posted on 08/21/2012

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I'm pretty sure your daughter will be fine, as long as nothing is coming out of her ears and nose and she's not vomiting, if you are worried take her to the docs. When my youngest was ten months old he was a nightmare he climbed on everything. I was in the room with him and put him in his cot while I folded some clothes I turned my back to him for a minute then I heard this noise and he fell out of his cot and landed on his head. I rushed him to the doctors because I was so worried but he was completely fine. The amount of times that boy has banged his head under supervision is incredible, we were getting so worried at one point he had a head scan, but it was clear. You just have to do you your best and even with that they are going to get hurt sometimes. Try not to beat yourself up.

Christina - posted on 08/20/2012

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My 21 mo old has fallen off my bed before... he laughed crawled up and did it again... i couldnt believe it, but then again i look at his father and understand. lol
acouple months ago he had staples put in the back of his head.. because the person i left him with tripped carrying him, and he hit his head on the crib... the whole time in the er i was freaking out.. but he was running around the room playing with everything he could get his hands on.. babie bounce back so remarkably.
No worries mom :)

Celeste - posted on 08/17/2012

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Brittany, that doesn't make you a bad mom. Accidents will happen. We all have had a moment that we didn't use our best judgement. Thank God she wasn't hurt, and the main thing is that you learned from your experience. You will think twice the next time.

Amber - posted on 08/16/2012

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You cant keep worrying about it! Everyone of us makes mistakes and have probably done something similar. The baby is fine and that is all that matters.

Danielle - posted on 08/14/2012

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both of my kids have fallen off the bed and off the couch. my son fell out of his crib on a sunday morning, just as i was waking up. its happens to all kids at some point. just because your child falls off the couch, down the stairs, off the bed, etc doesn't mean that you are bad mom. take it easy on yourself, these things happen.

Tarah - posted on 06/16/2012

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so encouraging to read this! today of all days as one of my 7month old twin fell off the bed today...laying watching movies with all my kids and i just didnt wrap her in tight enough..well i was talking to my 2year old and didnt even feel my baby move!! was so guttered and have been upset all day..but she cried greatly and settled not long after and has done all the same things during the day..am so glad i am not alone!!

Dawn - posted on 06/13/2012

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Hunny it's going to freak you out for while...it takes US longer to bounce back from an event like that than it does the kiddo! I can't tell you how many bumps and falls my son had between infancy and age 2 =p (his 2nd b-day is next week =D )

I would tell ur BF to man up and start acting like a FATHER. Just because he works doesn't make him exempt from being a PARENT! If he really cared about you and the baby he would have (and SHOULD have) been far more supportive.

Funny enough, my husband gets mad at our son when he hurts himself! He explained it to me once, and I KINDA get it...but I guess it's just his man brain at work lol. he hates seeing our son get hurt in any way (he doesn't go to the pediatrician with me b/c when the kiddo gets shots he wants to punch the nurse xD). But with your BF...him getting mad at you or making you feel worse in anyway doesn't help the situation and he needs to know that. If he won't do anything else he needs to understand that he needs to at the very least be supportive of anything that happens good or bad.

that aside, just try and relax. Take every bump and scrape as they come and try and just be calm--knowing it won't be the last =p

Kim - posted on 04/11/2011

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im so glad i read this cause my little girl did exactly the same 2 months ago and i still feel awful! the only person i told was my hubby and he was very supportive reasurring me it was an accident and im a good mum! but i still felt awful even though she was fine!

Nicole - posted on 03/22/2011

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My daughter was 7 months old and got out of her bimbo seat on the kitchen table fell off the table and broke her arm. Then when shedder 17 months old she was aggravating the dig and the damn dig bit her lip splitting it down the center. She had to get 3 stitches. I felt so horrible. I was like don't ever leave me alone with her again. I was devastated. She is 2.5 now and has had more major mishaps since. She diesnt even remember those things. Don't be do hard on your self. It happens!

Brandi - posted on 03/02/2011

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I think everyone has dealt with this.Don't beat yourself up about being a bad mother or anything. It happens to all of us, lesson learned and everything is thankfully ok! I've had some close encounters with my daughter and it just reminds me how I need to slow down and think and realize she's way stealthier and quick than I think she is! As moms we learn to be 5 steps ahead of our kids!

Alex - posted on 02/15/2011

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oh another amusing story i heard about rolling, this friend of mine had a friend who was a guy and he was looking after his 3 month old bub (who could not roll yet apparently lol) and was changing him on the change table stepped out of the room to get nappy (neva left the room after that again haha) and came back to find...no baby! seriously he turned the house upside down looking for the baby turned the bbabies room upside down and was on the phone to the cops saying my babies been stolen from my own home...its been about 10 minutes now....so then he here a little squeak and there in the small cloth pocket on the side of the change table was the baby safe and sound and lol naturally asleep hahah

Alex - posted on 02/15/2011

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the truth..and secret i guess cause mums dont wanna admit it but almost all babies fall off the couch or bed at some point, my one fell off the couch just the other day cause she completly surprised me by sitting up from a laying down position well i was across the room and leaning off the couch to get a toy and went over the edge, she got a scare but was fine. babies are way tougher then we sometimes give them credit for. Your doing an awesome job and even more of an awesome job cause ur not getting alot of help. Also my bub always gets hurt in my care as well....but if you think about it they are in ur care like 95% of the time and in other 5% so statistically they are more likely to get hurt in ur care

Samantha - posted on 02/14/2011

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My son fell off the couch at 5.5 months old. He fell a sleep on the couch and i had large pellow next to him. He woke up with out a sound pushed the pellow off and he rolled off. I felt terrible so he is no longer allowed to sleep on the coach. Sleeps in his crib. Just learn from it. Everything ive read said a 2 foot fall is ok (well as ok as it can be) any more than you need then to get checked out but still be careful.

Tarina - posted on 01/24/2011

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Sweety, all of our kids fall eventually. They roll off a bed, or twist when we dont expect them to and we lose our grip... God made them sturdy. If you are lucky enough to escape infancy without an incident, then once they start crawling, they crawl off a couch... or once they start walking, they trip and hit their head... They will live. Your daughter is fine. She cried because she was scared, more than hurt as Im sure the ER told you. For a moment, her secure world wasnt there, and the moment you heard it, you were at her side, and she knew it was all ok again. You are a FINE mother, and you learned a valuable lesson, and wont make the mistake again right? Nothing more to be done then ♥ Relax, and tell ur bf to stop being s douche. It could have just as easily happened to him when he went for a drink.

Sarah - posted on 01/22/2011

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Well, my son is able to sit up supported and he still fell off the bed :) He rolled off actually. Those darn kids are dangerous! We have to protect them from themselves ♥

Melissa - posted on 01/22/2011

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My cousin had a serious mishap with a bumbo chair. She had her little girl sitting in it on a counter and she was right beside her in the room and her daughter fell out of the bumbo onto the tile floor. It was THE worst fall I've heard of involving a baby. She was ok, not hurt at all but I know my cousin was so sick about it she almost threw up. I guess if there is anything we should tell a new parent is to never have your baby sitting up high after they learn to sit up supported.

Sarah - posted on 01/20/2011

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LMBO. My son rolled off the bed the other day and did the same thing. He's not allowed on our bed alone anymore, but he's fine other than that. LOL. Kids fall, kids get bruises, it's just preventing as much as you can! :) Good Luck Mommy

Maleah - posted on 01/12/2011

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Babies are going to roll off things and bump into things..
It is scary when it happens and you want to do everything that you can to prevent it from happening but it will happen!
Just wait until she is learning how to walk!

Don't think that you are a bad mother at all! You did the proper thing by taking the baby to the emergency room!

Krista - posted on 01/12/2011

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Accidents happen. As long as there is no lasting damage you have to learn from it and move on. When my son was a year and a half, he climbed on a chair and fell off onto the tile floor. He split his head open and there was blood everywhere. He had two stitches and I felt horrible, but you know what? He's 3 now, smart as a whip and doesn't even remember it.
As for your boyfriend making you feel bad: That should NOT happen. It's one thing to feel bad in the moment, but once that moment is over you BOTH should move on.

Hanna - posted on 01/12/2011

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Oh dear, lol. My first daughter fell once off the bed, I think, and she was fine. She has always had a great sense of balance and danger, so has rarely fallen off anything since. However, our second daughter has been a physically stronger and more active child from the womb. She has often given us a fright, rolling/ leopard crawling across the bed and to the edge in seconds. Despite our best efforts, she has fallen off in various different ways a few times, and we feel terrible every time. She is now semi-permanently on the floor only, lol, not even on a pillow or anything, just a play mat. Can't be in a chair, as she wiggles and pushes her way out of that too. If she is in her car chair on the floor, we have to buckle her in, and she still manages to get all twisted up. Nope, flat on the floor only, lol. Ah well, she is nearly crawling, sigh, and then a whole new phase of bumps and bruises starts.
Come to think of it, I can foresee her climbing out of her cot too, actually, so she will probably graduate to a matress on the floor as soon as she can walk!

Elicia - posted on 01/12/2011

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Do not beat yourself up about it. It has happened at least once with every baby i have ever known. Heck my son has fallen also. I was changing his diaper on the couch, or futon rather, when he was a month old (I had a c-section so i lived on that couch) The neighbors little boy was over with his mother running threw my living room and jumping off of anything that he could and would not listen to me or his mother. Well the little boy jumped off of the edge of the futon and bounced my son on to the floor, luckily he fell on the pack of diapers. I felt SO bad! Especially since i could not pick him up and had to have my neighbor do it. I was in tears and would not even let my boyfriend take him from me that night when he got home from work. Another time was just a few weeks ago. My boyfriend had set our son on the bed and turned around to turn on the tv and heard a *THUMP* my son had fallen off of the bed. He was wailing untill daddy picked him up. Babys are ALOT more resilient then what you might think. I was always told that but now i am a firm believer. My son was perfectly fine both times and only really cried untill someone picked him up.

Jaydensmommy - posted on 01/11/2011

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please dont beat yourself up, you like the rest of us moms are not perfect and the truth is accidents do happen. At the same time i do understand your feelings because my worst fear is my son falling and someone not telling me about it. just be happy that your baby didnt get hurt and from now on just be extra extra careful thats all. besides, im sure she forgives you! smile.

Brittany - posted on 01/09/2011

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Thanks ladies, I was so nervous about what people were gonna think but that didnt cross my mind until after I was in the E.R. No matter how much sscrutiny it cost me, it's not worth keeping it quite if something was really wrong...and the dr's were like. Yea it happens...and shrugged it off after checking her out of course and giving her a clean bill of health!. I have been so careful about everything now, that i kow it wont happen again@ but it was awful, and I know that i wasnt even there to catch her and thats my job, Im mom!

Emily - posted on 01/09/2011

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It happens...and you have learnt from it. Luckily she is ok. My husband did a similar thing with our 6 month old the other day. He sat him upright on the couch (propped up with cushions) turned around to get something and our bub leaned forward and went head first onto the floor. Luckily he was ok too. My hubby feels awful and I know it won't happen again. But i also know i have a lot more bumps, falls, scratches etc to look forward to as he grows up!
Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Anna - posted on 01/09/2011

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Don't beat yourself up..both of my kids have fallen. My daughter fell off the couch when my brother in law propped her up and walked away! I was so so so upset and still have negative feelings about the situation. My son fell out of his baby swing not to long ago. (And I buckled him in) Thankfully the swing is low to the ground but as soon as that happened it got chucked out the door. Both children are perfectly fine after our rushes to the ER's. I was bawling in the ER and the doctors told me surprisingly it happens quite often. They said most people dont ever admit it happened because of fear of what people will say or think. It's traumatizing enough on the parent and then I know I worried what people would say. I just know that I learned from the situations and take all precautions all the time. A second is all it takes. Your little girl is fine and just learn from it and move on. Next time you get her bath just lay her on the floor outside the door or a towel on the bathroom floor. We have a bumbo so I prop my son up in that sometimes in the kitchen if i'm cleaning or in my room. (Just dont put the bumbo anywhere but the floor)

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