fearful about how my toddler will react to this new baby

Kymberly - posted on 11/03/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 20 months old when our baby is born and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle 2! I don't want my daughter to feel "replaced" but I know this baby is going to need a LOT of attention in the beginning...is anyone else worried?? :/

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My son also seems to run things around our house, he loves babies but he gives my belly a really funny look every now and then. He tries to hit my belly too but I just say he can't hit he'll hurt mommy (not the baby since my fear is that thats what hes trying to do) It doesn't calm my nerves at all when people ask him if he's excited about the baby he screams "NO!" and whines. Not very encouraging, but I'm sure after he's had some time to adjust to the baby actually being here he will love him/her. My friends with more than one child say you just have to reassure that they are a big boy which gives them special privilages and that the baby is THEIR little brother or sister. If you really encourage the special relationship between siblings and refrain from slipping into the "thats the baby" mentality it will make the adjustment a lot more enjoyable. My son is two so we're really going to play up the MY brother/sister thing just because he understands that and it relates to the stage he is at now. His toys, his siblings toys, he's the big brother and they're the little brother/sister. The baby thing already sets him off so we're going to acknowledge that they're different but just in the positive ways like the perks of being older and of course really focus on lots of snuggles and affection for both. Some people say I'm worrying too much, some say not enough, either way we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, its a learning experience best of luck to everyone!

Geneal - posted on 11/22/2010

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I was the same exact way when I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter right up until after I gave birth to her my oldest which was 2 years old at the time came into the hospital before I had my youngest and all I could do was cry. But after I had my youngest, everything got better my oldest loved her, she adored her. I was so relieved. I can't tell you how many times I stayed up crying cause I didnt want to hurt my oldest, but it all worked out great. hope I helped you. good luck!

Jo - posted on 11/06/2010

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Honestly, I'm not really worried, beyond the normal unsure feelings that every change brings. My son loves babies, he is so gentle. We also have a chihuahua that he has learned to be gentle and sweet with. He's so good with her, and that kinda reassures me that he won't be a demon child with a sibling lol



The relationship that we have is one that we do everything together. When I do the dishes, he helps. When I clean up his toys, he helps. When this baby comes I plan on allowing him to be as much a part of it as he possibly can be. I plan on making sure that we have alone time together. I plan on making sure that he has alone time with his daddy (his daddy plans the same as well). And I plan on making sure that when the baby NEEDS me, Gabriel also knows I can be there for him too.



I'm sure we ALL plan on all of that, and plans don't ALWAYS go according to plan lol but as long as we put the effort forward, things will happen as they happen.



I would really try and calm my worries before the baby arrives though. Both babies will sense your anxiety and they will both react to it as well. Things will be difficult and there will be problems here and there... just go with the flow and don't stress over what is natural with all siblings, of all ages lol



My brother loved me at first (we're exactly 2.5 yrs apart) and now we don't talk at all. I hated my sister at first (we're 2 years apart) and now we get along so well. And our youngest sister... we LOVED her at the start, hated her as a teenager and now we love her again lol



Things work out! Don't worry too much ;)

Heather - posted on 11/03/2010

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I am a little worried also, my little toddler thinks he is the KING of the house....well I should actually say he KNOWS he is...lol, so I am quite a bit worried about how hes going to react to mommy and daddy giving attention to a new kid in town! I bought him a baby doll and have been working with him on "You have to be nice to baby"...and he pats my belly saying baby now! I think every parent stresses about this with their second child but somehow it all works out, if not I know I probably wouldnt be alive today being the youngest of 3 who absolutely hated me at first! Oh the horror stories I could tell, lol. Sibling rivalry is going to happen, but I dont think its ever as bad as we let our minds wander before birth!

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