what do you do about people who tell you not to listen to the doctor when it comes to your infant?

Leighann - posted on 12/20/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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i have people who tell me what to do w/ my baby and that the doctors are wrong and that i should not listen to them. it makes me kinda mad but i don't wanna be rude either. help!!!!!!!!!

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One of my husband's friend's does this. (you notice I didnt call her MY friend) She seems to think that because she had three children 40 years ago, this makes her a midwife or something. She told me one day when we were snowed in at her house, 'dont worry, if you go into labor I can deliver it...I've delivered three." She's never attended any delivery, other than to have been the one laying there on the table puffing and yelling.
She seems to think it's insane that the dr's tell me not to give him water yet, he's too young. She rolls her eyes at me and says, 'Every mammal needs water." I was so annoyed with her at this point I asked her if she had ever heard of open gut, when she said no, I suggested she should go educate herself. She also tried to tell me that if i leave my boy alone crying in his crib while I go to the other end of the house for a long bath will make me a BETTER mother.
She thinks if a baby bites you while breastfeeding, the answer is to THUMP him on the face.
What-EVERRRRR. Everybody has an opinion... and everybody is entitled to that opinion. You, as a mother, are entitled to IGNORE THEM.

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Kristina - posted on 12/31/2009

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All I can say is listen to your instinct about what the doc says. If you think that it is worse that what the doc say then by all means get a second opionion.

Paulette - posted on 12/31/2009

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It is hard to know who to listen to - someone's advice always contradicts to the extreme someone else's. When I had my first babies I tended to follow the doctor's advice, and go with what "everyone else" did. I was quite hostile when my sister-in-law gave me an anti-vaccination book! However, when I started to read it I became very interested, and from then on I have tried to make informed choices about child raising decisions. I would advise every mother to research as much as possible, especially those controversial decisions. Also take more notice of someone you look up to, who has children older than yours, and you like how they have turned out (for behavior issues), or someone whose family is healthier than average (for health issues). Sometimes doctors are right, too!

Dianne - posted on 12/31/2009

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People, including me, love to give advice. Please understand that that is what it is. You sift out the stuff you don't like and keep what you do. As a baby nurse for 30 years, I have 100 answers for every question. If one technique doesn't work, move on to something else. And remember that you are the Momma, and what you say "Goes". The only other person you have to allow equal voting rights is Daddy, or whom you choose.

Jan - posted on 12/31/2009

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You can always listen to what they say and thank them for their input, and then do what you feel is best. I have always found that the best thing to do is what I felt was best for my child... I would always listen to my doctor, my mom and sometimes my friends, but even though I was young and in Germany by my self cause my husband was always in the field. Plus what do two young 20 year olds know about raising, a baby.

Shan - posted on 12/30/2009

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Quoting Leighann:

what do you do about people who tell you not to listen to the doctor when it comes to your infant?

i have people who tell me what to do w/ my baby and that the doctors are wrong and that i should not listen to them. it makes me kinda mad but i don't wanna be rude either. help!!!!!!!!!



be rude,,,this is your child,,,and just tell them,,,i don't mean to be rude "BUT",,,,everyone has "OPINION",,,but is their opinion the best one for you and your baby?



 



your friend



shan hayles

Shan - posted on 12/30/2009

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i believe you should always get a second opinion when it comes to the health of your child or yourself,,,



shan hayles

Shan - posted on 12/30/2009

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every new mother has ?'s,,,am i doing the right thing for my child?,etc. to give peace of mind,,,take the baby put he or she in a rocker seat and put them in the bathroom with you,,,and you can talk to them and they will be reassured of your presence and they will be calm and you can take a nice calm bath.they have heard your voice for 9 months,,so let them hear you as much as possible,,,to reassure that you are there.

Shan - posted on 12/30/2009

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water is over rated,,,,and you are right,,,you are breastfeeding,,,,and he should be having reg bm's,,,

your friend

shan hayles

Shan - posted on 12/30/2009

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Quoting Leighann:

what do you do about people who tell you not to listen to the doctor when it comes to your infant?

i have people who tell me what to do w/ my baby and that the doctors are wrong and that i should not listen to them. it makes me kinda mad but i don't wanna be rude either. help!!!!!!!!!


my name is Shan , and i don't have a quot i don't think,,,,



anyway i have learned,,,that doctors don't want you to start babies on baby food until they are about 6 months old,



 



well that doctor does not have to live with you or your baby,,,if you breast feed, and also have to bottle feed in a short period of time,,,then the reason why the baby is still crying is because he/she is still hungry,,,,so take a little baby cereal and put into milk in a bottle,,,maybe a teaspoon ful,,,shake well,,,cut a little bigger hole in top of the nipple, and hold baby at a 90 degree angle and feed that baby,,,keep increasing amounts of cereal until your baby is a happy baby,,,and will sleep more then 10 minutes at a time...



 



i usually start them at 2 weeks old,,,sometime 1 week,,,all depending on how long they sleep before next feeding....your not going to hurt your baby,,by feeding them,,,,



you have to use common sense and not run to doctor for every little thing,,,



 



thank you



shan hayles

Jackie - posted on 12/29/2009

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Quoting Cherie:    ...Thanks for your reply.Iam so happy your baby had a 2x opinion
,and found out his results.You're doing a great job as a new mum,and learning the best way for your family.Life is all about learning,and I just want to say,GO GURL,you have your families interest at heart,bless you and your family,Jackie.



 




Sometimes they're right....I took my son to his pediatrician because he wasn't feeling well & he had a lot of symptoms but the doctor told me he was fine &if he didn't feel better in a few days to try soy formula. I told a few people & they said that they didn't think he was right and recommended that I get a second opinion & when I did he tested positive for H1N1! I'm a new mom so I would have just done what he said & my 4 month old preemie could have gotten much sicker....I think you just have to remember that doctors are human & some tend to think that we are overreacting. So I think that you might want to take advice into consideration but don't let people tell you what to do......just say that you're very comfortable with your pediatrician & that you trust his advice.





 

Jackie - posted on 12/24/2009

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Good one gurl,give yurself a massive pat on the shoulder.Merry christmas and a happy new year.

Leighann - posted on 12/22/2009

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Thanks for all your advice everyone! Ink Ette, oh my goodness! i thought i was the only one battling w/ people telling me to give my son water! oh goodness, they said that when he was a month old that if i didn't give him water that he would not b able to flush out his kidneys! CRAZY! im exclusively breastfeeding so he gets all the nutrients he needs from my milk but they def. did drive me crazy about that! but anyway, i often find my own instincts to b best anyway but people try to tell me about MY son and that drives me nuts! thanks again!

Cherie - posted on 12/21/2009

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Sometimes they're right....I took my son to his pediatrician because he wasn't feeling well & he had a lot of symptoms but the doctor told me he was fine &if he didn't feel better in a few days to try soy formula. I told a few people & they said that they didn't think he was right and recommended that I get a second opinion & when I did he tested positive for H1N1! I'm a new mom so I would have just done what he said & my 4 month old preemie could have gotten much sicker....I think you just have to remember that doctors are human & some tend to think that we are overreacting. So I think that you might want to take advice into consideration but don't let people tell you what to do......just say that you're very comfortable with your pediatrician & that you trust his advice.

Jackie - posted on 12/21/2009

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At the end of the day it is your choice who to lisent too.I totally understand,how you dont want to be rude,and OMG I'd be confused.Follow your instinct,and lisent too your doctor.Hope this helps.

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