Grown Children Issues

Nancy - posted on 01/14/2010

You never stop mothering...it is so difficult for me. I was a full time working Mom of two....carried the health insurance...no choice...had to leave my children at age 2 months at day care. They turned out fine and I guess I tried to OVER DO for them because of the guilt of working and leaving them. My son just got married 4 months ago to a woman - who picked up where I left off. She washes, cooks, packs his clothing for trips, pays the bills...and does everything for him. I see now...that his needs were based on what I DID FOR HIM...so his choice in sole mate...probably was a factor of his needs. He doesn't call much...or give me hugs anymore. I feel real bad...because....what I did for him...he doesn't need of me anymore. But the hugs...I could use more of...HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS???

Dyanne - posted on 10/19/2009

Little kids little problems..big kids BIG PROBLEMS!!!

Vivian - posted on 10/04/2009

I have one that lives at home with me still. He is 28 and has amental illness so I really do prefer him to remain here for observations. My other two are out and married. The little daily worries are still here but now with grandkids. The pocketbook is still a revolving door with the two. My husbands children are all out and doing well. He still gives money to them when needed. Once a parent always a parent!

Dee - posted on 09/22/2009

Once they leave the nest then they become parents and there are even more children to love and worry about. It's fun having adult relationships with your kids.

Becky - posted on 09/16/2009

Too True!!! Like my mom said, When they are little they step on your toes, When they are older they step on your heart. I found it all to be true and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

Timmi - posted on 09/01/2009

Totally agree, especially the cost more. But luckily as they enter their later 20s cost finally gets reasonable. But the gifts they give are better too. Nothing better than grandbabies

Debra - posted on 08/13/2009

Yes, I know what you mean. My youngest is 29 and still hasn't matured enough to go it alone. My oldest 39 is in the hospital with a staph infection-divorced and living with us part of the time. The grandchildren are loads of fun, though. I am definetly not through mothering!

Deborah - posted on 02/05/2009

This is so true! You want them to get out and try the world but for some reason she keeps messing up. Now that's she is 24 she seems to be doing a little better with her choices. But you never stop worrying about them.

User - posted on 01/14/2009

I have 4 sons, 2 by birth and 2 by choice.  I've always enjoyed having them all around, but have also looked forward to the day they all leave.  I had one move out in Nov to live with a buddy, one leave for bootcamp Dec 2nd, one get married and leave for bootcamp Dec 15th, and one graduate college and get engaged in late Dec.  I never thought they would all leave at one time, but I have to say, I'm enjoying the freedom.  Sometimes I feel guilty for being glad I don't have to buy institutional size food packaging or come home to the fresh scent of a Yankee Candle instead of that old locker room smell.  Should I be more down about this?  I miss them all and want them to come visit or call often, but I have to say I keep finding these little nuggets of freedom everyday and it is uplifting.

Marion - posted on 11/05/2008

I know my son has move out and living with his girlfriend soon to be his wife

this is the second time he move out the frist time it was a mistake this time

i know its right for him but i miss him he is 25 but sometimes i wish he just call me

just to let me know how he;s doing not only when he needs something

Layne - posted on 11/04/2008

I know what you mean. My youngest moved out of my home and into an apartment with his girlfriend a year ago. He is only 19. Way too soon for me, but like you said, it's beyond our control now. He's a great guy and has never given me a moments worry in all his life, but I sure do miss him now!

Martha - posted on 11/01/2008

That is so true! It is easier and harder at the same time. While you don't have the day-to-day intensity you had when they were younger, you also don't have that same ability to "make things better." So many of their problems are beyond your control. When they are little, a kiss, hug, favorite cookie, new little toy, etc., could often do the trick. But it is so wonderful to enjoy the great human beings that they become when they grow up - it is such a joy.