I feel trapped :-(

Christine - posted on 01/24/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Does anyone else feel trapped abroad? Am I living a dream? I try to make the best of my time over here but still miss my family and friends so much. It can get very lonely at times and now we have a son it gets me down him not having any family close by. I grew up very close to my family and I want my son to not see my family as strangers.

Plus I generally miss home, the culture etc. Canada is beautiful but it still does not feel like home. We just bought a house here so I now feel like it is all over. Hubby agreed to go in a couple of years if I am still not settled but I feel like we have started to establish too many roots here and he will never go.

Anyone else feel like this?

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Ruth - posted on 01/31/2014

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I know the feeling. I'm living in India and I desperately want to go home to New Zealand. I have a 4 month old son and am currently living in a hotel. He's going to start solids soon and I just want to be home so I can cook for him. I can't wait to leave but everything works so slowly I'm India I don't know when that will be, it was supposed to take 6 months, it's been 2 years :(

Cathy - posted on 04/06/2013

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Christine. I can totally understand you. I feel trapped too. We live in Madrid right now but I've had such a tough time adjusting. It feels like every day that goes by the further away I feel from our life back in the States and even from who I am. It's so hard being an expat mom. I feel so alone despite having made some friends, but we're all in the expat kind of life that is so transient. There are certain luxuries that the expat life affords you, but they don't make up for time lost back home. I can totally relate.

Ann - posted on 01/27/2013

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Christine you sound so homesick! I have not lived abroad but I have moved across the country away from family and friends and had to start over... twice. Here are some things that worked for me: make new friends as well as you can (from work, parents of other kids, meetup.com groups, parenting groups, school groups, neighbors...). There's a saying about good friends, that they are like choosing your family. When you make some close friends, they can be like aunts and uncles to your child and you won't feel so isolated. About missing your culture, cook foods from home and follow sporting events and 'local' home news on the internet so you don't feel so far away. You could even have a home country-themed party for your canadian friends where you just have fun with it and share your culture with them. (You don't say where your home country is but even if its just next door in the USA, you could totally have a fun night around that theme.) Even if it's just for your husband and child, having one night a week to celebrate your own culture could be fun and comforting. About missing your family, have lots of photos around your home and talk to your son about relatives so they become familiar to him. Try Skype or another video chat service so family can see your son and he can see them. Use good old fashioned mail to send drawings back and forth once your son gets older - my son loves to make art for grandmas and aunties and cousins and it's fun to both send things in the mail and get things in the mail. Food is another fun way to teach about family - I make recipes that my mother made or that I ate when I was a kid, and it's fun to make it with my son and then eat it as a family. Good luck with making the best of your time in Canada.

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