14mth old waking for hours at night

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 14mth old daughter has been having a really horrible time sleeping at night, and I need advice from some of you other moms on how to handle this. She wakes up around 1am every night, and throws a tantrum wanting both Hubby and I. She refuses to go back to sleep until around 5am. She climbs back and forth from my arms to his every couple of minutes, and she screams if either of us put her down. She's breastfed, and when I finally get her settled enough to go back to sleep she wants to breastfeed until daylight.

She has been co-sleeping (no debates please, this is my CHOICE) with us part of the night since she was 2 months old. I've always put her against the wall with me sleeping next to her and Hubby on the other side of me, but now she's refusing to go back to sleep unless she is between us and touching both of us, but only after she breastfeeds for hours and cries until she can't hold her head up any longer.

Our pediatrician said it's just a phase and she'll move out of it soon, but it's taking it's toll on all three of us. I feel like I'm going through her colic all over again. I know she's not getting enough sleep being up so much at night and only taking 1 short nap during the day. I can't tell if it's separation anxiety or possible teething since she's been cutting molars like wildfire lately. I've been giving her teething treatments, but it doesn't seem to be working, and I'm just not sure.

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Mary - posted on 01/10/2011

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You are not alone!! My daughter has always co-slept with us. She would never sleep in her crib or even a bassinet next to our bed. We finally gave up and just put her in bed with us. She used to sleep fine with us but then the past few months she has started waking up constantly through the night wanting to nurse 10+ times a night. I took her to the doctor and got a lecture on co-sleeping and how it is not beneficial to mother or child. She had no solutions or answers for me except for us to put her in her own room and let her cry herself to sleep. We don't have the hearts to do this! We tried and she is too stubborn and cries for too long. She has started sleeping better recently, I think kids just go through phases and sometimes you just have to stick it out. Good luck and just know that this phase won't be long :)

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Jennifer - posted on 02/14/2011

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Coreen, have you tried sitting a bit farther away from him each night so he gets used to not having you so close? Thankfully this was just a phase for Ellie, and she's back to sleeping normally again. She still wakes up a few times a night, but now she goes right back to sleep instead of fighting with us half the night. Now if I could just get her weened from the night feedings we'd be dong great.

Coreen - posted on 02/13/2011

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hi i so glad im not the only one going through this i thought i was doing some thing wrong, my 6 month old will not go to bed without me being in the same room and if i try to walk out he screams and gets up, he will fall asleep if he can still see me or if im cuddleing him but as soon as he thinks ive left the room he gets up and screams, he can do this for hours every night. i have tried feeding him later and bathing him and also cutting out a sleep during the day but nothing is working. i end up in tears alot of the time.

Jennifer - posted on 01/22/2011

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Thanks ladies for all your input. The last 2 nights she hasn't woken up! She's now fighting me at nap time and bed time, but she's got so much stuff going on she just doesn't want to stop playing to go to bed. I don't really blame her on that one!

Lise - posted on 01/22/2011

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Our daughter did the same thing when she was 14 months - teeth and learning new words. We just got up with her, let her play, talked to her, etc. until she was ready to sleep again. It was over after about 2 weeks of that.

Tia - posted on 01/16/2011

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hey there :)
my daughter is almost 15 months and she has been doin this as well for about a week, it could be her teething as well as feeling like she will miss something. thats what ive noticed, that she always thinks shes about tomiss something just as shes about to be put down. also maybe she isnt getting enough milk therefore feeling like she needs to eat longer to fill full longer. hope this helped :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/16/2011

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She is on a sippy cup for everything except milk, but she refuses ANY milk out of a sippy. It's breast or bottle only, and she refuses breast milk in the bottle. I took the bottles away at 1 year. I broke down and gave her 1 after the 3rd night of this hoping it would help, and it did help her settle down and gave my breasts a rest. She hasn't had another one since.

She doesn't co-sleep with us all night every night. At 10 months we moved her to her own room, and she only co-sleeps if she wakes and refuses to go back to sleep in her own bed, which was 2 or 3 times a week before this started. As I said before we did the cry it out method, and she NORMALLY cries 5 minutes then goes to sleep. Now that we're dealing with this she will scream for hours no matter what we do, pick her up, put her back down, let her cry, put her in bed with us, put her in her own bed...it doesn't matter. She will not go back to sleep for hours, and now she seems to be clinging to Hubby instead of me. The last few nights he's had to walk her around the house for hours until she fell asleep on his shoulder. Then we had a 50/50 chances of her waking up when she touched the mattress and having to do it all over again.

Hayley - posted on 01/16/2011

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have u not thought of putting your daughter on to a sippy cup now you can still give her your breast milk in it if u dnt want to put her on to cows milk u should try the pick up put down method and put her in her own cot as she will become very dependant on you, how do u know that you and your husband are not disturbing her while you are asleep

Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2011

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Thank you guys for easing my mind a bit. Ellie is very strong willed, and I know she's going to battle me as long as she feels like putting up a fight lol. I'm very thankful the pediatrician we wanted to use also supports co-sleeping. Ellie has never liked her crib either, but she does nap and spend half the night in her pack n play.



Until now she would put herself to sleep after less than 5 minutes of crying, but now if I try to lay her back down she'll scream endlessly. She now has all of the front and back molars top & bottom, so I felt around to see if she could be cutting anything else. Lo & behold I felt one of her eye teeth pushing against the gum. I didn't consider those b/c I thought they normally cut those last, but she's never cut a tooth according to "schedule". The first tooth she cut was a back molar! I've heard the eye teeth are the worst ones, so I can understand why she'd be so upset at night!

Pamela - posted on 01/10/2011

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I have twin 14 month old girls. Cassidy went through the same thing in October, she did it for about 3-4 weeks. It was the time she was getting all 4 of her molars. Isobel started about 2 weeks ago, the exact same thing, and of course her 4 molars just actually cut through the gums last week. Once she is up, she will cuddle in bed with me, but not actually sleep. She will stay awake for about 2-4 hours. If I try and lay her down, she screams. Luckily her twin just went through it, so at least,(hopefully,) it will be the same ending.
Sorry, I have no advice, just hang in there. Feeling your pain :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2011

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She's eating like a pig which made me want to rule out teething. She doesn't want to each much at all when she's cutting a new tooth. As for play that is another thing she gets plenty of. I try my best to keep her active and wear her out hoping she'll be tired enough to sleep at night. I don't mind one bit that she still wakes up 2-3 times a night (when things are going normal). I just want her to be able to rest.

I'm very thankful I'm a SAHM, and I try my best to give her as much love, cuddling, and attention as I can everyday. I do work from home, but it's during the few hours that she does sleep before she wakes back up at night. During the day is mostly mommy/daughter time, and I'm not letting work take away from that. Hubby has been home a lot lately, too, b/c he's on a temporary lay off. We've been spending a lot of time doing family activities during the day, but she still seems to cling to him more than me when she first wakes up.

Tonight I moved her out of the crib and onto her toddler bed mattress placed in the floor next to our bed to see if that made any difference. She's woken up three times in the last 4 hours, but she hasn't stayed awake. She's gone right back to sleep while nursing. She stopped nursing to sleep 5 mths ago, but this week I've been doing anything I can to get her some rest!

Laura - posted on 01/09/2011

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Oh hun, I am so sorry! I don't have much advice for you but I do feel your pain!
few questions, How is she eating during the day? how much does she get to play? you and your hubby should try to spend a bit of time with her during the day cuddeling and reading and just goofing around with her. maybe the more attention she gets during the waking hours will let you get some sleep in at night?

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