Does anybody let their baby sleep with them?

Melody - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 135 moms have responded )

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My baby will not sleep anywhere but in the bed with me. I tried for months to get her in her crib or a swing, but it never worked. Finally I broke down and put her in my bed. Anyone else have this problem?

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Jennifer - posted on 04/12/2010

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Not all the books say not to let them sleep with you. Dr Sears book, "The Baby Book" says it's possible to share sleep safely. I think the book Sleepless in America also says it's a good option for those that it works for. I'm not sure about "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" but I think it also mentions sleep sharing. Most of the rest of the world shares their beds with their babies (many countries in Africa, Asia, India, etc.) and was the case in our culture until quite recently (read the Little House on the Prairie books, the baby co-slept with ma and pa) so it's not like it's a new thing. I think if you are morbidly obese, on sleep medication, have a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, or smoke then it's not a good idea.

I have co-slept with my son and now I'm allowing my baby girl to sleep with me as well. It makes dealing with night waking so much easier. The sleep trainers all seem to think we can just toss traditions like shared sleep and soothing your baby to sleep out the window. I don't agree. I follow my instincts.

Mary - posted on 04/12/2010

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Our little girl is 6 months and has always slept in bed with us. The risk of SIDS is actually greater for babies that sleep in cribs alone in a separate room. As long as you are a light sleeper it is fine. I wake up every time my daughter moves so I am not worried about rolling over on her! They say that accidents that happen where a parent rolls over on a child is almost always when the parent has been drinking because you are in such a deep sleep. My daughter just sleeps much better snuggled in bed with us. They are in your belly tightly against you for 9 months so it's only natural that they want to be close to you :)

Thea - posted on 04/13/2010

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I usually don't have much of an opinion on parenting. However, this post really caught my attention and I was surprised at how many co-sleep with their babies.
I am a Paramedic and having had the unpleasant experience of arriving to a home of a baby not breathing to have a mother hand over their limp blue baby and to do everything possible to regain that childs life to have to tell the mother that her infant has died to only hear that the baby was in bed with them as the mother explains to me she fell asleep while breast feeding and the baby suffocated. And yet I heard her say that the baby always slept with her with no problems, but it only takes once! I have more stories, sad stories, incidents that I was a part of, where I held the baby, limp and lifeless. I didn't read it in a magazine, a book or hear it from a Pediatrician. It was real, with the babies saliva and blood on my gloved hands. My daughter will be 6mths in a few days, crying or not, she will never be in bed with me. Her crib is next to my bed. Because of my experiences I do worry about SIDS, but I can prevent suffocation. Just please be careful, and don't every say it won't happen to you and that you will wake at the slightest move of you child, the mother I had to tell of her infants death told me she never felt the baby move.

[deleted account]

My new baby is now 5 1/2 months old and co-sleeps with me. She is my third child and I have co-slept with the older two also. At about 9 months old I moved them to their own rooms/crib. They both sleep well now on their own and it wasn't too hard to get them there. I never intended to co-sleep with my first child, but it kind of happened. Now I wouldn't do it any other way. I think you have to do what works best for you and your family.

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Gollian - posted on 09/11/2013

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Why is it so hard to get your children to sleep thier own beds? As much as i love my little girl i sometimes wish i could have my bed back! Does anyone else wish this? just hoping the new bed weve brought her is not a waste of money bless her.

Gollian - posted on 09/11/2013

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Hey yes i do my daughter is 3 now and stil sleeps in with me im really struggerling to get her to sleep in her own bed shes been in with us since she was 9 months old and i really wish i never put her in with me. Weve just brought her a new bed which is being delivererd today so im hoping this might work! My 19 month old sleeps on her bed no problem.

Suraya - posted on 03/14/2013

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my daughter is 3 and i started putting her to sleep in ha own bed, next to mine, of course :).. an most nites, she'll sleep thru the night, but there occassions where she will jump in2 bed wid me.. i dont make a big fuss abt it, i feel shes stil young..

Sally - posted on 02/15/2013

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Why is it a "problem"? Babies were biologically designed to sleep next to mom and children of mommies who know this and act on it tend to be healthier (especially mentally) AND their mommies tend to get more rest. The idea that babies should sleep alone is a fad that has only existed in a very small part of the world for less than 100 years (and its been losing favor here too as people learn how detrimental it is). Get some rest secure in the knowledge that you are doing what is best for your baby.

Erin - posted on 02/14/2013

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My son slept in my bed until age 2, and then was in a 'side car' bed on the same level (which usually resulted him being in my bed my morning anyway) until age 3.5. He just wasn't really to be alone, and some kids aren't for quite some time.
He's now 4.5 and sleeps in his own bed no problem.
Sometimes sleep and sanity win out over what others say you should be doing.

Nicole - posted on 07/12/2011

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My 21 month son sleeps with us, he slept in his own crib until he was able to climb out, we then bought him a toddler bed and he did fine for a week but since then he always ends up in my bed either starting in the bed with us or waking up in the middle of the night to get in our bed. My daughter is 3 and is the same way except she gets to sleep in with her pawpaw.

Jena - posted on 06/21/2011

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My son is 20 months and sleeps in bed with me. I'm not too worried about it since he's still little. Eventually he'll transition into his own bed.

TaKara - posted on 06/18/2011

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Mine has slept with me since she was 5 days old. I love cuddling with her! However, I am not sure how I am going to get her out of my bed one day!

Donna - posted on 06/10/2011

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ugh yes. she has no problem sleeping in her bed bc its right next to mine but my daughter wakes in the middle of the night, climbs into my bed and gets a nightly snack so to speak

Saima - posted on 05/28/2011

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my twin girls are 1.5 and they sleep with me.and i intend to follow the same routine till i think they will turn 3 because there is a whole life ahead for them to sleep alone......i think you should cherish this closeness for the time being.....:))

June - posted on 05/27/2011

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My little girl is 19 months and she is still in my bed with me my hubby works night so it's not to bad and I don't mind her in with me she don't take to much room up. It's how u feel if you don't mind sharing a bed with her don't worry just get a king size bed

Kimber - posted on 05/25/2011

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Oh Boy do i ever! I have 2 boys one that is 9 years old,and another one that just turned 3 like a few weeks ago,and they both slept in our bed with us from the time they were brought home from the hospital! Heck i even slept with my youngest one in the hospital! But it is all me i think,well i know b/c my hubby really does not like it at all!! But i don't know for me it is just something to have your kids so close to you all quiet,and still!!! I Just love it,but it was really,really hard when ever we did get our oldest son to sleep in his own bedroom. It took a long while,but we did,and then there i go doing with my other son too!! There are times that i do miss being able to cuddle up next to my hubby,and go to sleep,and with out haveing a little foot,or hand,or even butt in my face while iam trying to sleep! But i just move them a little,and then it's o kay,and besides there is going to come a day when he want want to sleep with me anymore,so iam just enjoying this feeling for a little while longer!!!

Cheryl - posted on 07/30/2010

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My son sleeps with me, he's my 1st and I just want him near so I can check on him. I enjoy his company and love waking up to his smile.

[deleted account]

I only co-slept while my girls were young... only up to 3 months. I loved it but I stopped because I had read if you wait too long your baby will become dependent upon you to sleep and if you wait past 6 months it becomes a really difficult habit to break. I had also heard that if you want your baby to sleep independently that by 4 months it is good idea to start putting your baby to bed in the crib while still awake (but nearly asleep). Worked for me.

Would love to sleep with my girls but I am just scared of ending up like this guy in the video- follow link. It is really cute. I am sure many of you can relate!!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?...

Priscilla - posted on 07/28/2010

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My son has slept with me every day of his 9 month life. I love it. But being the only one to put him to sleep was hard. So I began letting others carry him right before he got tired and more than more he was able to sleep with others. So now it's not that bad. I use to lay holding him, but I can now lay in the same room and he's fine. I suggest gradually moving him further away.

Engie - posted on 07/28/2010

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My son sleeps with us sometimes but to break the habit try putting her to sleep in your bed first then transfer her to her crib. That's the only way my son will fall asleep.

Jennifer - posted on 07/21/2010

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My third child slept in our bed until he was 16 months. That is when I stopped breastfeeding. You hear so many horrible things about co-sleeping, but my husband and I loved every second of that bonding time. Our daughter slept with us until she was 6 months, she is a roller, so her crib was the safest place for her. It is all a personal choice, neither way is right or wrong...

LaLa - posted on 07/20/2010

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I have/had the same problem. About a month ago my baby had a bad sinus infection/ear infections and she couldn't sleep in her crib. I brought her to bed with me. When she was all well I couldn't get her to go back to her crib...I tried letting her cry to put herself to sleep and she would start coughing really bad and I hated hearing her cry so hard. Then I let her fall asleep in my bed and I put her in her crib when she was asleep...that worked great for an hour and I would just do it again (she would fall asleep in my bed then I would put her back in her crib)...then I think I was sleep walking or something because next thing I know my husband is yelling at me that she has fell in the floor and she was mad (not hurt, Thank God) I thought I was holding her....well anyway now I will not let her fall asleep in my bed...I hold her and rock her until she is asleep. It seems to have worked. Well I am not sure if this helps at all and it may even scare ya.
I love having her in my bed but I am terrified of SIDS

Coley - posted on 07/20/2010

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My son and I spend the evening playing, cuddling, and relaxing. After dinner and bath, when its time for bed, I turn down the lights, and let him play with the pillows on my bed (which he loves) while I read out loud (we're reading The Jungle Book right now) until he's too sleepy to play. Then he starts cuddling to let me know he's done for the night, so I scoop him up and sway with him while singing or humming for a minute or two. I lay him down in his crib (which is in our room) when he's too tired to fight sleep, and rub his back and continue to sing or talk quietly for a moment. He usually nods off shortly after. I don't need to risk smothering him to have a close relationship with him. I'm a light sleeper too, but that doesn't mean I can never fall into a deep sleep. If he wakes up, I hear and go to him, I don't force him to cry himself back to sleep, like I keep hearing hard-core co-sleeper advocates say. Sleeping in his own crib will NOT make him distrustful or disturbed later in life, I don't care what the co-sleeper websites say. You can risk your baby's life if that's what suits you, but I will never have that worry.

Christina - posted on 07/20/2010

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All 6 of mine have co slept I would never put my baby anywhere but near me.

Lisa - posted on 06/22/2010

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yeap i do im now bk at work for 5 months now and i no that i wouldnt get any sleep if i have her in the cot bec every half an hour she would wake my 8th month loves to be proped up and i supose feel the warmth of me beside her i think it has brought us closer bec i work all day it a nice time to share togethier ... alot of people wouldnt like the fact a baby sleeping in the bed but i no there will be a time i will have to say to be a big girl and get into ur own bed but till that time comes,im after getting so used to the fact now shes in bed with me and miss her when i do try her out in the cot xx hope it works out for you

Cheryl - posted on 06/22/2010

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Nothing beats it really...I woke up the other morning to Zacharius kneeling over me and giving me a big wet kiss...of course he is baby number 5 and his next oldest are 17 years old twin sisters...he is a lil spoiled!

Amy - posted on 06/22/2010

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My son is (OCT26) and has never slept any where other than our bed, he just likes being close to us! What ever you and yours are happy with is whats good

Cheryl - posted on 06/21/2010

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Our son sleeps with us too! We don't really have a problem with it though. We used a Moses basket at first so we didn't roll on him but now he sleeps between us in a king size bed.

Amy - posted on 06/16/2010

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I do have my baby sleep with me, but it ahs never been a problem, I also had my two previous children co-sleep with me and never had an issue. It makes it much easier to get up with them if they wake up at night(especially breast feeding!) Plus I felt more secure knowing they were right next to me! All three did take naps in a crib during the day so they were also able to sleep on their own if I needed!

Reagan - posted on 06/14/2010

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A family bed/co-sleeping should be a choice, not something you were forced into by circumstance. I did a little of this with my child and eventually she decided that she had enough and wanted her bed. But, I have a friend that really struggled with her son. My advice is that if this is a behavior that you do not want to continue, then do some research on a "weaning" approach that works for you and nip this behavior in the bud quickly. As they get older it will be harder to break the habit (but that is only if you want to break the habit).

Hayleigh - posted on 06/14/2010

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My daughter has slept with me and my partner and also in her cot. she is 8 months old annd loves to sleep with us so that when she wakes up she can pull our hair and smack us... mostly she goes to bed in her cot and some nights she ends up in bed with us. and others she stays in her cot all night. we quite often stay with friends and family and she sleeps with us then so i am quite relieved to come home and find that she will quite happily go to sleep in her cot. she does have a teddy in her cot and a loose small sheet because since she was very young she likes to rub things on her face while going to sleep. we have never had any problems with this. i think that people should do what makes them comfortable and other people should not scare mothers.. i am a young mother but have been around babies all my life. i have a friend who panics at every little thing and if she read some of these posts i do believe it would be extremely detrimental to her and baby as she would be very stressed and worried for no reason.

Sacha - posted on 06/05/2010

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Lucy has started to wake in the night because of teething ,when this happens she will only settle if she is in my bed so i do it and leave her there ,

Amber - posted on 06/04/2010

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Our little girl would prefer to sleep smooched between us all night (understandably) but will sleep in her crib too. She had a hard time at first, but we started with getting her in there at nap time and she now goes to sleep each night in her crib. When she wakes in the middle of hte night I keep her in bed with us and don't worry about it at all. I think it's more common globally than for babies to sleep on their own. Keep trying, it will work eventually and your little one will learn that independence. Until then, enjoy those midnight snuggles.

Jessica - posted on 06/04/2010

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I did!!! My son would only sleep in the bed with us for the first 6 months. I just kept putting him in the crib at nap times, which didn't go over very well 99.9% of the time, but we kept trying. Finally when he started napping there, we kept trying to put him in the at bed time atleast to try it. That took about a month, then finally he just slept there and has been most nights. It was litterally six almost 7 months of trying and trying to get him in the crib. It was hard for me to understand since my daughter always slept in her own crib. Each kid is different, and it might take a while before your baby will go in her crib.

Stephanie - posted on 06/03/2010

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My lil guy for the most part sleeps in his crib.. and in the morning when he wakes up i bring him in the bed w/ me and daddy.. and we go back to bed! :o) I started my lil one off w/ just taking naps during the day in his bed.. try letting her fall asleep w/ you and then when she is in a deep sleep pick her up and put her in her crib, see if that works.. best of luck to you.. no worries.. enjoy cuddling w/ your lil one..

Kayleigh - posted on 06/03/2010

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I never had my son sleep in bed with us during the night as a rule to avoid the stress of having to move him into his cot. He slept in his crib right next to me til he was 6 months old and then he went in his own room - which incidently is when he started sleeping through the night from 8pm til 8:30 am, obviously my husbands snoring was disturbing him too lol

Donna - posted on 06/02/2010

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it varies, she will sleep in her own crib with no prob. She still wakes in the middle of the night to feed, thats when i get too lazy and just keep her in bed with me

Samantha - posted on 06/01/2010

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I think its whatever works best for you is what is best! My kids only sleep with me when they are sick, or we don't get a good nights sleep. However i believe eventually they need to have some independence and sleep on there own..one they are over a year..but its still up to you and what works for your babe :)

Cassandra - posted on 06/01/2010

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YES!! i love sleeping with my little Emma =] but, she takes up the whooollleee bed. my hubby and i get pushed off!

Marianne - posted on 06/01/2010

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my daughter is 7 months and still sleeps with me. i try the swing or crib and within 2 hours she's up but when she is in my bed, she sleeps all night. i would much rather my daughter in bed with me. her father however not so much, but she is my number one. i love the bond and love that i share with her.

Rachael - posted on 05/31/2010

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My daughter slept in her cot in my room till she was 1 then into her own room. always slept in her own cot though, never in the bed with us. My son has been in the cot since he was 1 month old. for the first 4 weeks we were moving house so he slept in the bassinette next to the bed. but now the bedroom is kid free and it works for me:) I understand the mums and dads who want the baby close to them all the time but I found doing that with our daughter she was difficult to get to sleep in her own room. even though she alsways slept in her own bed she still needed that bit of closeness. I am petrified of rolling over on Charlie if he was in my bed as well so that is another reason I havent had him in the bed. I guess each to their own and whatever works for you!!:) wherever they sleep doesnt change the fact we are all great mums:)

Sarah - posted on 05/31/2010

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kelsey sleeps in her crib and our bed at night she sleeps in her crib at 6 when she wakes she comes into my bed has a bottle and goes to sleep for a couple hours but the naps for the rest of the day are in her crib

Angela - posted on 05/31/2010

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Before I started having childern, I swore I'd never have anyone sleeping in my bed. It was my private, personal space and my sleep was very important to me.
My daughter (27 mos) preferred to sleep on her own. She was a terrible sleeper (still is - wakes up once a night still sometimes), but she never liked to be in the bed with us. She'd squirm and play instead of going to sleep. Before she was 10 mos old, my DH would rub her belly on a pillow in the living room until she fell asleep, then he'd put her to bed in the crib. I was heading back to work in 2 mos, so we had to stop doing this. I got the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book, read it and ended up using only some of it in the end. I took from it what I needed (her sleep cues, bath, dim lighting while dressing after bath, quiet room, reading books, keeping it dark for midnight diaper changes, cues to tell her little mind that it was still night time). It took her crying it out for a few nights to get her to go down on the crib by herself. It was a whole lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I didn't like the crying part, but I checked on her every 10 mins, like the Ferber method says, checked her bum and rubbed her belly, and after 2 times the first night and 1 time the second night, it was done. She went to sleep by herself after that and still does.
My son (7 mos), on the other hand, wouldn't sleep anywhere but next to me. It turned out that I loved it! I'm a very light sleeper, so it I didn't fear rolling onto him. It was so easy to nurse him right back to sleep, and I liked having that little person just snuggled up next to me, knowing that he NEEDED me and only me. It's nice to be needed, but it became uncomfortable as I couldn't move from one position for most of the night. Then when he started rolling it just became dangerous. My bed's pretty high off the ground. I've been transitioning him to his crib for the first part of the night for the past couple of days. He cried it out the first night (after 2 check ins), and the second night it only took 1 check in. Hopefully tonight it will be done.
I anticipated the crying part to be worse than it was for both kids, but hindsight being 20-20 and all, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Alesha - posted on 05/24/2010

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my baby girl was the same way. i slept with her on my chest for about 3 months cuz it was the only place she would sleep. i tried her crib and she wasnt havin it lol. but she woud sleep in her bouncer every now and then...she started sleeping in her crib at about 6 months. she will sometimes wake up tho and ill put her in bed with me and she will sleep some more....im not against it at all, i love it, my baby loves it, and im very safe about it, i never put her in bed with me if i knew i wasnt gonna sleep light.

Karstin - posted on 05/16/2010

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My oldest child slept with my forever! I cherished most nights of it because I knew she needed the physical comfort and I did too. My 2nd didn't need it and actually preferred her own bed instead, so I gave that one to her. If you are really needing your "you" time when you sleep, this is how I broke my oldest of sleeping with me. When I knew she was getting tired, I put her in her crib. She would fuss and I let her go for anywhere between 5-10 minutes. Then I would console her, and when she had calmed down, I put her back to bed. She would fuss again and I would let her. It was a week of hell because I would get up constantly to reassure her that I was here and then put her down but after that, it was great. Even now, she stays in her bed and she isn't in her crib anymore. She always knows where I am if she really needs something.

Rebecca - posted on 05/15/2010

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My daughter is 7months and she slleps in her cot but if she wakes throughout the nighht or early in the morning i put her in bed with me and her dad and we love it.

Emily - posted on 05/15/2010

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I have that problem at naptime. She sleeps in her crib at night but not for naps. Sometimes I love it, but when I need to get things done it doesn't work out lol

Nancy - posted on 05/14/2010

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We did with our first and not with our second. We slept with our first until she was 1 and did sleep training with her to get her in a crib. It was terrible because we had to let her cry but what can you do. OUr second went straight to a crib and sleeps through the night and we sleep so much better.

Tisha - posted on 05/14/2010

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My baby sleeps in the bed with me since my husband works out of town and is only home 1 week out of the month, the reason I let her sleep with me is because she will not sleep if the pacifer falls out of her mouth so I would have to get up through the night to put it back in her mouth, this is much easier having her beside me and she likes to sleep under my arm.

Melissa - posted on 05/03/2010

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I'm rather amazed at how many on here sleep with their babies in their bed. It's sad really b/c many realize a little late when they lose their child at how dangerous it is. My son hated a bassinet, hated the crib etc early on so for the first three months I would rock him to sleep in one of those child convertible rockers and pull it out into a bed. He did great, right next to me on the couch so I could hear him. At three months, we transitioned him to a crib and he had a bit of a rough time at first but now sleeps in there for naps/nighttime. He's 7 months now and I think he feels secure knowing where he sleeps, his routine for bed, etc.
I have several friends who are paramedics and I'm always hearing stories of how someone accidentally (not drunk or on drugs) rolled on their infants or was nursing them and accidentally smothered them. It happens more than you realize. As much as you would love to think that you would wake up the moment something was wrong...it may not happen that way. I sincerely hope it doesn't happen to anyone on here.

Lisa - posted on 05/02/2010

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Here is a really good read about co-sleeping. The whole page is really interesting.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000...
I have slept with my daughter since she was born. When she started rolling over I installed the bed rails for my bed. Western Civilization is one of the Few cultures that don't sleep with their babies.
I just think americans push too much for our babies to be individuals too soon.
We house them inside our bodies for nine months, pop them out and say, "ok, there you go, welcome to the world... see ya"
I think that they have to be ready, in their own time, to do certain things, even sleeping by themselves.

I will not, however, let my husband sleep next to the baby. He thrashes me in his sleep so I don't trust him to subconciously recognize an infant.
JMO though.

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