i dont get it

Taryn - posted on 06/01/2011

I have twins a boy and a girl and they will be 20 months on the 13th on June. My kids have been hitting each other for a long time now and they have both had a attitude like you would not believe for the longest time. I think they started there terriable two's when they turned 1 year old. I really do not know what to do because now spanking there hand dont even do nothing anymore and when i put then in time out in there crib it does not do anything but make things worse.

Amanda - posted on 05/30/2011

my daughter is 19 months and she started the t2s about a month ago... i just hope it doesn't last til she's 3 :P

Samantha - posted on 05/18/2011

I am going through the exact same thing. My daughter will be 19 months on the 19th, and she has temper tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. I agree that distration is the best thing. She still uses a pacifier, but only in the car and in her bed. Just recently when we have been getting out of the car, she would throw a huge fit because she couldn't take her paci with her. (it is attached to the car seat). So now before I take her out of the car seat I ask her to take it out of her mouth and then I get her to hold onto something else, or put her hat on etc, and 80% of the time is works. There is always those days when she won't take it out of her mouth. Also, she loves to be outside, so when we try to get her to go inside she throws a huge fit. So my husband goes inside and turns on her favorite show like sesame street and encourages her to come in, and when she does it is much better. Sometimes it takes more time, but in the end it is soooo much better!! I guess she wants to have a choice. And since she can't express herself, having a little bit of choice here and there helps with the attitude!! When all else fails time outs are wonderful!!

Kat - posted on 05/17/2011

We're going through the exact same thing with my son. He just turned 19 months on the 12th and it seems like for the past few weeks he's had a horrible temper. He shrieks anytime he's told no, and he's started hitting when he gets mad. The only thing I can think is its the terrible 2s. Atleast I hope so cause if this isn't even the terrible 2s I don't know if I'll stay sane when those hit lol.

Rebecca - posted on 05/16/2011

We are in the same boat here!!! It was like overnight when he turned 18 months I had a different baby! Connie's advice sounds awesome and is quite an insight! Thanks! I hope to have my sweet cuddly baby back very soon!

Jane - posted on 05/16/2011

I think Corrie Barnes gave extremely good advice! really helpful and thoughtful.

Gina - posted on 05/14/2011

she is doing it for attention, but you don't have to give it to her just because she does this. It will pass,and you can sublty teach her it is not ok to act like this. Although it is hard at that age. Remember don't expect too much and don't talk too much to her. too many words she can't understand and too much expectation confuses her, she is only little after all. Say no hurt, NO, as she gets bigger you can use time out. I used to make a huge deal out of my first son's behaviour, well I stuffed that up royally. Mostly with boy no. 2, we just ignore most stuff and the really bad stuff we address. At the moment he is 5 and he has the screams, ug, I hate the screams. I can't wait till that finishes and it will. I let him scream, if I don't want him to wake the baby, I make him sit on the verandah to scream (this is not scary and is just outside the door and he IS 5), I just don't let him get what he wants.
I don't think there is a true time schedule for some of these things, every kid is different. But it is true that if they are having a hormonal spurt or growth spurt they are naughtier, and they may need more food or just consistent behaviour from you. I know, easier said than done.

Donna - posted on 05/14/2011

thats true i didnt think of it like that. I thought she was just doing it for attention.

Corrie - posted on 05/04/2011

I think the T2s actually start around 18 months. They have in my experience of toddlers, both my own and other peoples. It's just a natural way to say "i can't tell you how i'm feeling, so i'll get UBER frustrated and be overly physical or shreik at the top of my lungs!!!"
Not being able to verbally communicate or even use certain amounts of sign language in various situations, is totally irritating for an adult never mind a baby/toddler.
Of course, sometimes they are just tired/hungry/itchy/hot/cold/headachey/teething.... But how are you to know that when they can't TELL you?
We sometimes assume that because they aren't tiny anymore, they have less boxes to tick on the "obvious" checklist... But it's not always so.
My son is 19 months in a week or so and he throws things, hits us, screams and bashes his head on the floor and arches his back at ridiculous angles when he's in a bad mood, and it usually stems from being over tired or not being understood. Sometimes he wants soemthing and if we refuse, he goes into a storming rage.
The answer, i find in most cases, is distraction. Even if you spend 2 or 3 minutes bringing out a little used toy, making it bath time,involving them in housework, popping on some loud music or the tv for 5 minutes, going outside for a bit.... In extreme cases, taking them out of the room? I don't like the idea of a naughty step or a time out... But after an extreme tantrum or being violent, it might be a necessity.
Eye contact is my newest thing. I don't necessarily hold him still, but i ask him to look at me, make eye contact and repeat whatever it is a few times to him to reiterate the point i'm making. Always using his name at the beginning - "Sam, Mammy doesn't want you to throw the car"
Etc.
I hope something helps.
Remember it might just be a phase. The weather. Teething. A new Nap routine might be in order. Too much Sugar! Anything!!! So hold out :)