Is anyone's older child acting worse than ever since the baby came?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

My 3 yr old daughter seems more jealous than ever lately. She keeps acting up, suffering the negative consequences, and on and on it goes. I feel like the worst mother in the world, as the baby gets all the positive and my toddler is getting all the negative. How can I keep my cool and deal with her in a more effective manner? I just seem to lose it...like I'm competing with her tantrum:( I love this little girl more than anything...she was the centre of my universe for a full 3 years, and now I can hardly wait every day for her to go to bed. I feel like a complete and total failure.

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Kendra - posted on 04/06/2010

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my son was 4 1/2. when my daughter was born and it took him a while to get adjusted to this new life where he wasn't the center of our world anymore- and we did what some others suggested...made sure we made time for just him. I would take him to the movies just us and hubby would stay home, or he would take him out to lunch and I would stay home with his sister. He loves her more than anything and I am thankful he has a positive attitude about his relationship with his sister....just us he had trouble adjusting to again. Over time it got so much better - been 6 months and it seems like we have gotten into a good routine and spend time alone with each.
Good luck.

Lindsay - posted on 04/05/2010

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there is 21 months between my daughter and my son. i try to involve m daughter as much as possible with the baby, we play together, she helps with the diaper changes etc. when i am feeding the baby, she likes to cuddle and we read a book together. i also involve her as much as i can with stuff like making our lunch or snacks. now that the weather is getting nice out, my son will play in his exersaucer outside, and my daughter an i play with sidewalk chalk, a ball or blow bubbles.

Nicola - posted on 03/30/2010

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hi i understand aswell, my 3 year old son is the same he has tantrums for the slightest thing & has started to get really cheeky! He really loves my new baby girl but dont think he likes it much when i only give her my attention so iv started playing games with my son but i have my baby girl in her chair beside us so they both get attention! i feel like a failure aswell but since i spoke with another mum about this & they had said about taking time with just me & josh while my baby is having a sleep it has really helped! i would try to see if you can do things with your daughter that she really likes doing just the two of you so she know's she can still have attention from you, they dont understand, to them this baby just appears & takes all mummy's attention! even if you get her to help you with baby like getting a nappy or wipes she will feel like a big girl & like the praise you give her for it! i hope this helps you out x

Crystal - posted on 03/16/2010

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I understand how you feel I feel the same way my oldest is two and my baby is 4 months I've learn when dakota is a sleep and if jaydin my oldest is still awake that is OUR time to play or watch a movie of his pick and when his daddy gets home we slipt the time befor bed but hang in there my mom told me its just take the older ones to get use to it and plus they really dont understand why the baby needs so much time its ruff I know I feel like my son has been put on the back burner :{ but I have to make time for him and some how I do

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