Is this the last baby for people?

Alison - posted on 02/11/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I have 3 children now 13, 6 and 4mths. I never thought I would have 2 let alone 3! But now I have had 2 boys and finally my baby girl my husband and I are considering him having a vasectomy.



We have talked about since falling pregnant with our daughter and the opther day when i rang around and made inquiries I had this little panic attack. All I could think was 'Is this the right thing to do? What if we change our mind and want just one more?'



My kids ages are all spread out and I would have like to have them closer, but life doesn't always work that way and getting pregnant was hard for us. I don't kow if I want to really have another one or it's just me freaking out because it so final.



it's hard to think 'well that's the baby part of my life over!' My husband doesn't get that, but he also is against anymore, yet refuses to actually make inquiries about the vasectomy himself because he is a huge chicken!!

I just don't know what's going on in my head, all logic seems to fail against my hormones, I just keep thinking. I am only 30!! I am not old enough to make these decisions ;-)

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15 Comments

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Lisa - posted on 03/29/2010

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i have four children 3 girls and finally got my little boy. My hubby and i have decided that Connor is definately our last. I'm currently on the waiting list to have my tubes tied. Personally myself i am getting it down instead of him because i want to know that i can never ever get pregnant again. I'm only 28 years old but we definately know we do not wish any more. I would suggest if you really are undecided not to get it done cause you must be 100%.

Erika - posted on 03/29/2010

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My husband and I have children together. 1 girl and 2 boys. ages 6, 4 and 5 months. We are done. He had his vasectomy when the lastest was 3 months old. Being on birth control is not good for your body. We were both satisfied with the family we had made together. I am 30 and my hubby is 32. Sure we love kids but 3 is plenty. Good luck! and ps- My husband made is own appointment for the vasectomy. He saw what I had to go through in order to have our children and knew it was now his turn...hehee

Carly - posted on 03/28/2010

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You can always get the operation reversed. If you dont want to go down that route, I sugest the implant. 99% effective and you can always take it out with a simple pop to the DR.S if you change your mind of having more children. I'd love absolutley loads of kids but I will only have as many as I can financially support x

Jamie - posted on 03/27/2010

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Alison,

Wow I know that same feeling. I have three girls and I am not sure if we are done. I am only 26 but I do know that when I am 30 I am done with the baby making business. I had my oldest at 18 so I think by that time I will be ready to be done with babies. Not that I would never get that itch to have another even until 40 but I do have to be realistic.

Rachael - posted on 03/27/2010

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My sons are 8, 4, and 5 months. I opted to have a tubal done with my last. One reason was this was my 3rd c-section. I always said if I had 3, I was going to have 4. Of course I was stopping at 2 as well. At 28, I wasn't ready for it to be over, so I understand those feelings which is why I didn't have the tubal then. The thing is, at 32, it's a whole new ball-game. I was ok with the fact that I can't have anymore, but there is always that 1% chance that your tubes will reconnect. Considering my docs told me I have little to no scar tissue from my previous c-sections, I fear that this may be the case with me. I really don't want to be almost 40 and have them tell me that I am pregnant again. Therefore, my husband and I have decided that he is going to have a vasectomy as well. If you have any questions about maybe one day wanting another one, don't do anything permanent. I fear that you will regret that decision.

Peita - posted on 03/23/2010

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Hahaha Alison, you jinxed yourself with all the no baby talk lol!!!! You will be a very busy lady, I hope all goes well and just think, all you had to do to get your husband to have a vasectomy was to be pregnant again LOL!!! Good luck!!!

Pamela - posted on 03/23/2010

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I have the 5 year IUD I say I dont want a 4th baby but I could change my mind at any time I have three boys and I do want a girl but my youngest is so Difficult and very needy so right now I say I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Alisha - posted on 03/23/2010

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Well im 24 with 3 children and my hubby and i decided that cuz i was having an emerg c-sectiont hat would get fixed! So its done and its hard on me some days. I was told i might not be abel to have kids growing up so it was a blessing that we have our 3. We want 4 but with how life handed our cards we ahve 3 in 3 yrs so we talked it over about beign the last one and what not but now that its like final i ahve hard days. im vary happy with what we have but its just like im DONE!!! Good luck

Alison - posted on 02/28/2010

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Well a giant spanner in my plans is I AM PREGNANT!!!! about 5 weeks so I guess I am having 4 children after all. Hubby rang and booked in for a vasectomy the day I told him I was pregnant again. LOL!!!

Now the logistics of having 2 children under 2!! Funny thins is I am due in October and My second and third children were both born in Oct too. something about Jan ;-) We are shocked, surprised and pleased all at once.

Ries - posted on 02/16/2010

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check out a Mirena. if you want another child its popped out and away you go to try for another... about $32 plus drs appt fees for 5 years contraception interuterine. pretty cheap! and I said I'd never get one as I cannot take the mini pill even...! lol. BEST thing Ive ever done. could not handle another baby NOW... (last two in 14 months)
my october baby is no 6. hubby booked the appt for a vasectomy, then cancelled as he was asked, 'what if your children died, would you want more?'... he said YES! ( and i'm 42!!... told him, if they die in 5 years it's too late for me anyway is there another woman in line???anyway-lol..seriously??).. but we talked about it and I took the plunge...as we both feel to leave our options open a little longer... maybe in two years when the babies are older. my pregnancies were dreadful, hospitalised with all but 2 of them. (last two) had three home births too...later babies make families fun. if your not ready and he is not really making a descision, you still have options that are not permanent. family size is a personal thing, other peoples opinions will abound, but if you are both wavering, even the dr's will not let him go ahead! talked my hubby out of it...(maybe in 5 years i will pick a female for him to see instead!) good luck with your research and descision.

Lindsay - posted on 02/16/2010

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I have 4 kids, 12,9,16 mo and 4 months.. This leaves us with 3 girls and 1 boy. I think had the last one been a boy then we definitely would have decided to not have anymore.. but, it was a girl so we are gonna try one last time and if we should so happen to get another girl, we will be calling it quits.. We had decided before our last was born that no matter what the baby was, we were done. We didnt know what we were having so when she came out, we looked at each other and knew we were both thinking the same thing. We love our girls but the boy who is 12 is not my husbands son, him and his sister who is 9 is from a previous relationship. So we both really want to have a son together. It will totally complete our family.

Good Luck

Alison - posted on 02/13/2010

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Thanks for your comments ladies. Yes the whole finality is the big issue. I would go onto brith control but the hormones make me extremely depressed to the point I can't get out of bed, get a little mental with suicidal thoughts etc. (pretty shit really) I would opt for my tues to get done, but I have been under too many times and have scars from surgery for endometriosis and previous c-section already.

You know I love the idea that I am a young mum and when I am 40 I will have all kids in school and my life will take a new exciting path. One with my head screwed on right and a bigger pay check LOL!!

I am pretty happy with no more kids, its jut the thought of it that scare me. Thanks again and Peita I am so sorry that although you had decided no more the choice has been taken away from you. My mum had a similar problem and she was only able to have me and my older sister. She came to terms with it eventually and I think that's what makes her such an awesome Nanny for my kids, she adores them.

So it's settled, Operation baby maker complete ;-)

Kristy - posted on 02/12/2010

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Ther are many contraception options that would leave the chance to have more children open to you if that's what you decide in the future. I'm 33 and have one boy and one girl so I decided that was it for me ( I said that straight after labour !!) Now I'm thinking, well, I may want another one. I am getting a merina put in. It's sort of like a diaphram..it lasts 5 years..there is no downtime if you want to take it out to get pregnant again and best of all NO PERIOD! Here in Aus it's only $60 to get put in. I'm hopeless with remembering to take the pill,,,the depovera does not agree with me and we hate condoms so this was an ideal option for us. Hope this helps. Goodluck with what you decide.

Peita - posted on 02/11/2010

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I was very sick with my 3rd and last pregnancy and towards the end my husband and I decided he would go for a vasectomy! I ended up with a massive complication - PLACENTA ACCRETA - where the placenta grows into the muscle of the uterous and cannot be removed! I ended up with an emergency hyserectomy to save my life and that was the end of my child bearing! I was devestated about not being able to have any more children, even though we had decided no more! I am only 29 and it is very hard knowing that that is the end, so I know how you are feeling, I don't think men have any clue as to how we as women can feel about this and are sometimes a little insensitive! My husband said no more kids after the 2nd, but I convinced him to have a 3rd, he never mentioned a vasectomy until I was nearly due with my 3rd, so I don't think he was really ready to stop having children back then! Maybe your husband is having 2nd thoughts if he won't enquire about the vasectomy lol!!! My little girl is 3 1/2 months old and I am having a hard time recovering from emotional issues related to my complications! The big one is that I almost died (starting to see now that I survived lol) and the next one is that I can never have any more children and that it wasn't my choice! I love my 3 kids, but I think I will always have a 'what if' in the back of my mind! Give it a little while and I think you will settle about your decision! But you are right, 30 does seem young to say that's it, but the more I think about, I will still be quite young when my kids are grown, and will have a whole other life after kids lol! I think you might be having a freak out about the finality of it all!! Good luck with whatever you choose, it is a tough thing to decide on!!!

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